Mary Worth, 5/4/12
Oooh, it’s a surprise wedding! This rates about a 3 in “actual surprise revelations” but maybe as high as an 8 in “surprise revelations that one might reasonably expect in a Mary Worth plotline.” Still, as our heroine gasps in three-part harmony with other guests, does it look like her beaming smile from the first panel has crumpled a bit? I mean, she’s just been denied a host of wedding-related meddling pleasures: she’ll have no opportunities to give passive-aggressive advice to Gina, first hinting that she’s spending too much and then implying that she’s being cheap; she won’t have time to perfectly calibrate her gift choice so that the couple will hate it but still feel awkward returning it; she’ll barely have time to ask prying questions to their families and find out the deep-seated emotional problems that will lead to their inevitable divorce in 18 to 36 months. C’mon, Mary, start working the room, now! We are running out of time.
I’m going to do my best to avoid contemplating Dagwood’s phallic torso, though I will give kudos to the syndicate coloring drones for reading enough of the dialogue to make his shirt green. I do find it pretty funny that Elmo can just wander into the Bumsteads’ house with his friends, like Dagwood is some weird, exotic pet that he’s letting them look at.