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Dennis the Menace, 3/12/15

“With him, you never know! I mean, he’d smash a potato, probably! That’s pretty menacing! And why is he eating an actual meal here, instead of just mooching off our cookies or whatever? What’s happening? What time of day is it? Who am I? What’s going on?”

Family Circus, 3/12/15

“You don’t understand,” Mommy Keane told the stern representatives of Child Protective Services. “They said they were grown up! They said they were ready to leave the house. It would’ve been bad parenting to not change the locks!”