Should be some blood trickling down that dude’s scalp, let’s be real
The Phantom, 12/1/15
Whoa, all this time the Phantom has been trying to bully his son into heroism and suggesting he should go to Tibet for a years-long monastery education, like Phantoms past, but it turns out he spent his youth at some fancy New York boarding school! I don’t actually care about that one way or the other; I mostly am amused by the fact that (a) the Ghost Who Feels A Need To Project Patriarchal Authority sits on his massive Skull Throne when having family discussions and (b) has Box 7 at the Mawitaan post office. I mean, he’s a series of men who’ve been pretending to be the same deathless hero for multiple centuries. Who do you suppose got boxes 1 through 6? How many immortal ghosts can one mid-sized African republic support?
Six Chix, 12/1/15
Wait, people know this poem is about fighting off inevitable death, right. OBVIOUSLY THE CAT DOESN’T WANT TO GO OUT AT NIGHT, IT WILL GET HIT BY A CAR OR EATEN BY A COYOTE, WHO EVEN PUTS THEIR CAT OUT AT NIGHT ANYMORE, STOP MAKING GRIM POETRY JOKES ABOUT DYING CATS YOU MONSTER