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Mark Trail, 5/31/16

OH SNAP, it’s that time again in this Mark Trail adventure: the time when a young lady misinterprets an innocent act of life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as an adulterous romantic advance on Mark’s part! Remember, when you’ve stopped breathing due to a build up of water in your lungs, the first thing you’ll feel as you regain consciousness due to someone else forcing air into your respiratory system is languorous erotic delight, right before you puke up a bunch of fluid. Anyway, I can’t decide what I like more: Mark’s bug-eyed startlement at feeling a woman react to his touch with arousal, or his grim-faced explanation that, yes, he is indeed legally bound to another human in the contract that our society calls “marriage,” and he’s very, very happy about it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/31/16

Oh, whoops, it looks like even with its new writer, the Rex Morgan rule about the Morgans always getting free money at all times is still in full effect! The juxtaposition between the sad, dark past when children were forced to watch their favorite comics burn at the whims of puritans, and today, when Rex is rubbing his chin and smirking and thinking about how much money he could get for these smutty comics, is a delight.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/31/16

Finally, the Zodiac Killer has come out of hiding and has cryptographically announced his intention to kill again — right here in Centerville! The best part of this time jump discontinuity is that whenever Pam or Jeff are irritating in Crankshaft, we can console ourselves with the knowledge of their eventual grisly end.