I think I speak for all Americans when I say I’m glad this election is over with! Now we can get back to normal, everyday life: instead of having to listen to Crankshaft rant about how all politicians are criminals, we get to listen to him rant about how women these days all dress like whores.
Mary Worth, 11/9/16
Because I’m a monster, the first thing I thought of after reading Wilbur saying “We could explore the world together” is that would be funny if he followed it up with “…you know, sexually.” Because I hate myself, I then thought, “Are there other Wilbur quotes that would be equally funny ending with ‘…you know, sexually’?” And because I’m dedicated to bringing the real truth about the comics pages to you, I went through my archives to test my hypothesis:
- “I don’t want to live life painted into a corner … you know, sexually.”
- “My interview subjects were very gracious … you know, sexually.”
- “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you … you know, sexually.”
- “We’re back to the scene of the crime … you know, sexually.”
- “I shouldn’t be alive … but I am! … you know, sexually.”
Yup, it checks out!
Mark Trail, 11/9/16
Wait, are we just going to watch this helicopter explode over and over again, from different angles, while Cal looks on in horror? Because I wouldn’t be opposed to that, exactly.