Many people across the United States are in the grips of frigid wintry weather, and we here in southern California are no exception: did you know yesterday it dipped into the mid-50s, and rained, for several hours? Shocking! I’m staying bundled up warm inside, but that hasn’t stopped me from selecting this week’s COTW:
“I love the level of disinterest in Peter’s work that MJ reveals in her thoughts: ‘It’s been too long since Peter went inside to prevent that robbery — or whatever it was. What am I? A criminologist? I haven’t won a Tony yet. There’s your real crime!'” –Lorne
And the very funny runners up!
“Now I must find that which I seek/ Pepcid, at the Walgreens down the street.” –old goat
“One can also enjoy this Slylock by imagining that Smitty has forced Max to dig his own grave.” –Rusty
“If a brief tussle with Spider-Man requires Ronan the Accuser to eat everything off the counter to replenish his strength, I honestly don’t see how hard it could be to beat this guy. Just trap him someplace without any edibles, like a Hardees.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“Much as I love exposing the dark underbelly of the Glorious Animal Regime, I don’t think this is necessarily a slave labor arrangement. After all, it’s well documented that sheep need to be sheered regularly lest their wool overwhelm them, and the high ovine populations in Australia and New Zealand must have made overthrowing the human masters easy. Perhaps Australia is an agrarian collective where the members regularly shear themselves in a bizarre ritual that hearkens back to the dark days of their oppression, then ships the product throughout the world? No, somehow that’s even more disturbing.” –TheDiva
“Teens having fun? This cannot end well.” –Gil Thorp(e)d
“God made humans capable of the squint-eyed ‘What the fuck are you talking about/what’s wrong with you?’ look specifically knowing that someday, some blowhard was going to let rip with ‘The internet is rife with stunted individuals trying to appear bigger by standing on celebrities.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“Poor Mary: in spite of her decent computer literacy for a woman of her age, she still hasn’t figured out how to scroll down.” –pugfuggly
“Surely this is a case of an analogous event to what has just befallen Iris, as she too has left Wilbur after a difference of opinion about the value of travelling around the world compared to caring for your young adult child, and she’s also had a new opportunity land in her ‘inbox,’ if you know what I mean. (If you’re naïve enough to not know what I mean, the opportunity is Zak’s dick.)” –Ekudamram
“That’s right Sam, God listens to prayer, even in a police interrogation room. And you just happen to have Him in the one right next door! Tell Dick to grab the brass knuckles and a coffee … this might take a while.” –Brad
“Foolish Mark! That is not Abbey, for no human being can spit water, cough, and speak at the same time. Azaloth the Soul Eater is pulling back its ‘head’ to reveal its true form!” –Zooty
“I think we now have definitive proof that Mark Trail’s hair is some sort of alien parasite that has colonized his head. Consider: in the first panel, it’s visibly mussed and disarrayed, probably from shock. In the second panel, it’s starting to return to its natural form. By the third panel, every last lock is back where it should be. That’s not natural. This also explains why government biologists are following Mark around. They actually work in the FBI’s X-file office.” –Dmsilev
“I don’t read Gasoline Alley, so looking at panel one, I assumed we were about to see a brutal baby boomer dictator finally overthrown by the repressed millennial masses chanting slurs at him.” –Drew FUnk
“Wouldn’t it be ironic if Marvin’s dad drinks so much coffee because he has trouble pooping? It’s the circle of life, assuming that circle is made of porcelain.” –BigTed
“If your kid dies, can I have a photograph? I’m really into carrying around photos that make me sad. It doesn’t have to be one from when she was alive; it could be a nice coffin shot.” –made of wince
“There’s so many depressing places this could go. Will the suicide shut down filming on the Starbucks Jones movie, crushing the dream of comic book fans? Will this kick off a string of murder/suicides starting with a guilt-ridden Mason and Cindy? Will Cliff be reinvestigated as a Soviet agent suspected of giving mood altering drugs to a costar in a complex plan to overthrow the U.S. government?” –Keylime314
“Photoshop in a dapper red fox, and today’s Six Chix might make sense. Slylock Fox has been called to the North Pole by worried snowpeople. They think Gerry Gingerbread is melting his fiancée Sunita Snow. However, Gerry blames global warming, and says his relationship is not toxic. How does Slylock prove that Gerry is trying to melt Sunita for her inheritance? ANSWER: Gingerbread cools down very quickly, especially when left in the snow. If Gerry is still warm, he must be heating himself up. Gerry’s crunchy skin and lack of chewy centre confirm that he keeps returning to the oven.” –Schroduck
“Look at Barfy and Dolly’s faces: they’re disgusted. The only one into this travesty of interspecies romance is the cat. Why they’re going along with it I don’t know but I’m sure their reasons are dark, terrible, and full of puns.” –EscapeZeppelin
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- And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.