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It’s Friday, y’all, and it’s time for your comment of the week, but first, a note for people who might want to put money in my tip jar but think PayPal is for olds and Venmo is the new hotness: I have a Venmo account! The address is @jfruhlinger and clicking on that link should take you there, I think!

OK, but enough of that. The COTW is what you crave, right?

“The skeptics told me, ‘I don’t see much chance of your evil plan going off without a hitch.’ Ever since then, I’ve made sure that all my evil plans include a hitch of some sort.” –Peanut Gallery

These runners up are also like sleeping on a bed of clouds:

“I can’t help but see Rex Morgan and Pluggers as prequels to Slylock Fox: it’s actually our ability (and desire) to eat off of plates and in a civilized manner that puts us atop the food chain, I guess, and as pluggers struggle to master that ability, humans heedlessly squander the only thing that sets us apart from the animals. In Justin’s choking face, I see not just a teen who can’t stomach a scone, but the grim future of humanity itself: A suddenly-fiftysomething-man, choking not just on a pastry, but on his own fate.” –Briane F Pagel

“I’m not sure whether the Grateful Dead theme on Justin’s shirt is meant to be foreshadowing of his death from choking, or whether he wears it just because he’s 60 years old.” –seismic-2

“I’ve seen enough dark corners of the internet to know that Dagwood’s food fetish novels have a big following on some very specific websites where readers anxiously await the next installment of Fifty Shades of Grey Poupon.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Sure, anyone can talk their way out of a cop coming to their house for questioning; it just takes a bit of cleverness. But it takes a real master criminal to talk their way out of flaunting the mangled, mutilated corpse of a policeman down the street. Let’s make this a bit interesting, shall we, Ghost Pepper? (I’m just disappointed there’s no one in the car with him, denying us the fun of him saying to the other person, when the flashing lights go on and they’re caught with whatever the asphalt has not ripped from a bloody human body, ‘Just be cool and let me do all the the talking.’)” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“The lesson is that Mary and Mary alone decides who has access to her muffin. (Part of me worries that we’re reaching the limits of muffin innuendo, but I have faith that ‘Mudgeon ingenuity will be able to sustain the gag for the remainder of this arc, however long it may be.)” –TheDiva

“It’s churlish to be disappointed with this consistently amazing Mark Trail storyline, but that’s not how I imagined The Great Wilhelm That Never Spoke He Just Screamed A Lot at all. I imagined a haggard pale Pierrot type clown, whose screams represented his essential alienation and estrangement from society. Instead, he’s just some kind of muscular Fred Flintstone cosplayer, whose screams presumably show sexual frustration from the cartoonishly huge erection he’s sporting here. Disappointing. I like his hat though. –Schroduck

“Poor Plato, he exited the cave of shadows and illusions only to end up in Camp Swampy. ‘So, this is the world of perfect forms and ideals? Great, great. I wonder if there is any hemlock around.’” –Joe Momma

“I like how Dennis is turned around, fully cognizant of the waiters’ wrath. ‘You think that’s all I’ve got? I’m just gettin’ warmed up, ya self-important, hopped-up busboys. I’m gonna shout RAT! and point under a random table. What ya gonna do, garçon? Hit my folks with the passive-aggressive early check trick? I shit on your check! Really, I’ll literally defecate on that thing!’” –Hogenmogen

“I missed the comma after ‘usual,’ so I mistakenly guessed that Senator Belfry was asking for ‘the usual Dooley,’ a ‘Dooley’ being a cocktail made from water and throat spray.” –Joe Blevins

“I’ll need some smoke and some mirrors. Remember, the mirrors have to be polished obsidian, and the smoke can only be from a smoldering mandrake root. Then some chicken blood — at least that’ll be easy to get — I scribe the Yellow Sign on the mirror, and bam! The voices from beyond the Veil of Thorns gives us a new economic policy!” –Voshkod

“Dennis is glad the waiters are bringing the check because he needs to get right from the dinner to his act in the Catskills. ‘Ring a ding, Chuckles! I gotta amscray, ya dig?’” –Aphthakid

Blondie is experimenting with sponsored content in its strip. Would your body shop like to the be one discussed at dinner? The bidding starts now!” –pugfuggly

Girls can grow up t’be ennythin’ they want t’be … if’n they grow up at all, o’course! Since you’ll be trapped fer all eternity at yer current age, Sue, you can’t be nuttin’ but a dreamer, wit’ asprations you’ll never be able ta achieve!” –JJ48

“I had to look closely to realize that the hulking thing behind Mark’s head is a tent and not an inexplicably green glacier. How many Boy Scouts does that thing sleep? 40?” –Mikey

“You would think that trees would be an acceptable substitute for skyscrapers, but Spiderman can’t use those without incurring the litigious wrath of the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate.” –cheech wizard

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

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