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Spider-Man, 3/9/18

You know, it’s funny that Spider-Man’s whole shtick is that he was bitten by a radioactive spider and has the “proportional [X] of a spider” but his definitive, most famous power move — web-swinging from building to building — is … not something spiders do? I mean, I know sometimes they blow on the wind and stuff but the thing where he shoots a web at one building, uses it to pivot, then shoots another web at another building and repeats — is just not spider-y at all. It also only works in his native New York and other high-density cities, which is understandable but maybe he shouldn’t admit it quite so readily in front of a man who lives to antagonize him and buys ink by the barrel.

On an unrelated note, if the vision of Spider-Man swinging around an alligator (the proportional alligator swinging of a spider) and using it as a truncheon to beat aside other alligators and various snakes doesn’t fill you with pure joy, your mind works quite differently from mine.

Mark Trail, 3/9/18

You know, if I saw a big tiger in my front yard, my immediate reaction would be gibbering terror, not an earnest desire for civic engagement. I guess that’s the main difference between me and Mark, that and the fact that I don’t take unseemly pleasure in the screaming panic of children.