Emotionally gyrating Friday
Mary Worth, 1/25/19
One of the things that makes it so much fun (YES, IT’S FUN, I’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 14 YEARS AND IT’S STILL FUN, DARN IT) to analyze the soap opera strips is that the gap between what it seems like we’re supposed to believe is happening and what we actually see happening is hilariously wide. Like, so far Ian’s been winked at and less than chatty at dinner (which, you know, so has Toby). Is this what Mary Worth thinks the warning signs of an affair look like? Is this what Mary Worth thinks an affair is? Just a rash of winking-based adultery ruining marriages left and right all over this land of ours? The only way to prevent this is to make botox treatments that immobilize the whole eye area mandatory. Toby’s probably way ahead of the game!
Judge Parker, 1/25/19
Oh my goodness, Sam’s pissyface glowering at the back of this press conference is very much giving me life today! “How dare he,” the lawyer, who has no qualifications to practice in this jurisdiction and also isn’t great with what you’d call “people skills,” fumes. “How dare he describe exactly the things I’ve been doing since I got here, on camera!”