Gil Thorp, 1/22/19
Sure, Gil talks a big game about how he doesn’t lose any sleep about how his slipshod coaching practices might negatively affect the lives of his players, but I gotta think this billboard business has him rattled. Maybe he’s starting to second-guess himself: should he have noticed that one of his student managers was dealing fake adderall to a player? Now he’s swinging wildly in the other direction and has decided that Mike Filion isn’t doing great in one of his classes and is irritating everyone with That ’70s Show quotes because he’s suicidal! I’m excited to discover that the only thing more annoying than Gil’s disinterested undercoaching is Gil’s intrusive overcoaching.
Judge Parker, 1/22/19
CHRISTOU: Thank you, everyone. The mainstream media would have you believe that beloved Western star Roy Rogers died of congestive heart failure in 1998 in California. But the question the police force of this unnamed resort island nation would like to pose to you is: what if he didn’t?
SAM: [on phone] My god, Abbey, it’s even more sick and depraved than I could’ve imagined!
Mary Worth, 1/22/19
HERE IT IS
HERE’S JANNIE’S BIG MOVE
HERE’S WHERE SHE “SEALS THE DEAL,” EROTICALLY
WINK LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT