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Top comment of the week: YOU KNOW IT BABY

“Also, don’t shoot because I’m a talking deer who appears to have human-level intelligence! You could have just asked me to stop eating your flowers, or put up a sign that I would have been able to read, just as I read the label on that bottle! But no! You just went straight for the poison!” –Rosstifer


“‘And now you’re out ten thousand dollars, and left with a broken heart! You have to report him! For the money, I mean. Any way you look at it, the broken heart is your own fault.’ ‘But you said no judgment!’ ‘Yes. I was criticizing you for having no judgment. Did you think I meant I wasn’t going to judge you? I was clearly pointing at you when I said it.’” –A Concerned Reader

Old jungle saying or detergent slogan? You be the judge!” –TheDiva

“This is another comic where the throwaway panels make it a totally different story. Up top, we see how Cookie and Alexander were really looking forward to this. They’d put a lot of thought and effort into their Mother’s Day surprise. This was important to them. Only with that context do we realize that, in the last panel, they’re dying inside, with false smiles plastered on their faces.” –Joe Blevins

Hi, Dad! You still alive? Cayla hasn’t killed you yet? Oh, well.” –Schrödinger’s Droopy

“It should be pretty difficult to time an annual phone call that precisely. Either Les and Summer have been practicing their timing, or else hours have passed between the second and third panel, as Les gestures in increasing discomfort toward the phone that should ring at some point that day.” –JJ48

“Oh, what a time that was! The boys got the eggs out of the fridge — and then — [both gasping with laughter] — and then we had to put them all back!” –Peanut Gallery

“Locating his shins to kick is quite the accomplishment.” –Rusty

“I think maybe Elmo is leaving out the part where his ‘high-tech crush‘ is sexting him and then later retrieving his phone to delete the evidence. Elmo realizes it’s for the best Dagwood doesn’t know what a sext is, or else Blondie would be getting a lot of NSFW photos of sandwiches.” –Marcus Theory

Curtis’s generation wants NEW stories, like Captain America and Iron Man.” –Chyron HR

“‘Kids today just don’t understand the simple ways to enjoy life,’ says Greg, kicking back on the couch with a relaxing sip from his ice-cold can of green beans.” –jroggs

“Starting a GoFundMe today to double the salary of whoever is still churning out this comic (what would that be, like, ten bucks a week?) if they’ll put Frank Nelson at the end each and every strip saying, ‘I don’t get it.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“‘Just extras‘ says the character who’s primary job in the strip is to set up punchlines for a sun-worshipping baby.” –Guillermo el Chiclero

“Look at the way Jeffy is cupping his hand against his mouth there: do you figure he’s stage whispering or all out yelling across the table? I’m figuring the latter, as a result of his pudding mania.” –pugfuggly

Unless the guy who drew the map likes playing cruel practical jokes, or had a vendetta against you personally, or was simply extremely incompetent … any number of reasons, really! You can’t trust anybody and anyone could betray you at any time! But at least you’re not crazy.” –Navigator

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