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Crankshaft, 6/8/19

So it turns out the big announcement Max and his girlfriend were teasing on Tuesday is that they were planning on incorporating their movie theater business. A smarter thing to do would probably be to register as an arts nonprofit, but never mind that for the moment, because they’re also going to have a baby, which makes the whole “we’ve got a big announcement!” switcharoo particularly weird and mean. Why not tell Pam something that’d make her happy? I dunno, probably because it’s the Funkyverse where nobody’s happy and nobody deserves to be happy!

Judge Parker, 6/8/19

OH SNAP

IT’S JUDGE-ON-JUDGE CRIME

YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS HONOR AMONG JUDGES? NOT WITH THIS JUDGE, BUDDY

Actually, I wonder which judge just put Judge Parker Emeritus behind bars? Please be Randy please be Randy please be Randy