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Crankshaft, 8/27/19

Consecutive days without a properly constructed joke in Crankshaft: 238  0.

Gasoline Alley, 8/27/19

Aside from shouting his name at everybody, Physician’s Assistant Peter Glabella‘s gimmick is empathetic imitation: he hurts when his patients hurt, burps when they burp, gets thirsty when they’re dehydrated. So we scoured Gasoline Alley for somebody he could imitate who isn’t insufferably annoying. No luck.

Pluggers, 8/27/19

Grammy Bear has banished her own son from the house for the abomination of marrying a kangaroo. Apparently he’s still allowed to use the outhouse.

— Uncle Lumpy