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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/6/20

Haha, well, this is one of the grimmer scenarios Snuffy Smith has served up to us, isn’t it folks? Was the head of the local cemetery so hated that his former subordinates, now leaderless and squabbling, have to bury him in the dead of night, with no witnesses? Anyway, what I actually want in life is for every scene in any visual art that depicts a heavy reminder of life’s mortality to feature Snuffy Smith wandering through the foreground, a sack full of stolen chickens over his shoulder and a tongue lolling out of his mouth indicating his amusement at human frailties.

Mark Trail, 7/6/20

You know, back when Rusty was a mere “ward,” he never would’ve dared to express admiration for bad boy movie stars, because he knew that one wrong move and he’d be sent back to the orphanage, or just lured out to the forest with the promise of a “fishing trip” and then abandoned. But ever since Mark started letting Rusty call him “dad”, the kid thinks he can get away with anything! Hopefully Jeremy Cartwright will turn out to be a real shitheel and Rusty will realize that Mark and only Mark is a good example.

Beetle Bailey, 7/6/20

Wow, if I had to guess which character in a long-running legacy comic strip was secretly an Instagram food influencer, Sarge would … not be it? Like, we’d all think it was Dagwood, right? Definitely Dagwood. Anyway, all of the obvious variations on “Sgt. Snorkel” are as of this writing still available as usernames on Instagram, so feel free to start a gimmick account that you’ll get bored with in a week or two!