The first day of the Funkyverse advent calendar is as dark as you’d expect
Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft, 12/2/20
It’s December, which means we’re barreling headlong into the Christmas season, and how do the damned residents of our our twin hellscapes of Westview and Centerville celebrate the season? Well, in Funky Winkerbean, we’re reminded that life is just a grinding stretch of continual suffering that can only be alleviated by focusing on some future date when the pain might end, no matter how far away it might be. In Crankshaft, meanwhile, we learn that every totem you cling to as a reminder of a more joyful past will eventually crumble to dust and you’ll be left with nothing. Real grim stuff!
Mary Worth, 12/2/20
December in Santa Royale, meanwhile, is just like every other month in Santa Royale, which is to say a God-damned delight. “Thank God! Did you read my emails?” is probably the funniest thing an ex-junkie who’s gotten his first glimpse of hope that his girlfriend might take him back could say, and I for one feel very blessed to be alive the day that Tommy said it.