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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.