He’s got meaty forearms and a way with packing tape
Post Content
Crock, 9/17/23
I’m going to choose to believe that this strip is one where the Crock creative team retained a flicker of memory that this strip is in fact supposed to take place in French-ruled early 20th century North Africa. Yeah, this guy’s a true Parisian scumbag, probably picked up one too many times by les flics and given the choice of either going to jail or joining the Legion and being shipped off the colonies. He promptly washed out of the Legion, his behavior too erratic and aggressive even for them, and ended up here, drunk in the back room of a broken down clothing store on the edge of the empire. He may be “Roy,” but believe me, he’s no king.
Gasoline Alley, 9/17/23
Ahh, a heartwarming meeting between two beloved characters in this century-old strip. “Hey, Uncle Walt! Heard you haven’t moved in a while. You dead?” “Nope!” Great! Well, see ya!”
Mary Worth, 9/17/23
Finally
The Saul-Eve story is over
and
The Ass™ has arrived
165 replies to “He’s got meaty forearms and a way with packing tape”
Gasoline Alley-“No I’m not okay. I’m well past any acceptable age for a person to be alive. Why won’t they let me die?”
FC-It’s motor car racing at it’s finest. The little car goes round and round.
Slylock Fox-Reeky’s rat self just couldn’t help but lead Slylock right to the phones. His rat self just can’t lead a false trail.
RMMD-“The Mirakle Method is just something I stole from a woman named Mary Worth.”
MW-“Packing to move. Sigh. Something I’m familiar with.” I hope so. You are a mover after all.
GA: Even after reading up on liniment and its uses, I have no clue what the joke in today’s strip is. And I really resent being made to feel stupid by Gasoline Alley, of all things.
MW-“The Ass has arrived.” Doesn’t look like Wilbur.
C: The locals might resist the political and economic encroachment of the colonising power, but they are powerless to resist its cultural hegemony. They desire French products and take their lead in their taste. One of the more thoughtful Crock in a while
FC: PJ has mastered the smug look of an E-Car driver.
Loden Green? Did someone on the “Crock” team do actual research on what could be considered trendy colors? Is nothing sacred?
Crock: Roy represents the cartoonist. The darts will decide the color of the liquor bottle he pulls off the shelf.
It’s a cry for help.
Crock: Awww, I can’t make fun of this strip! It’s got one of my favorite words. OK, maybe just a little bit: I like how the artist implies the dartboard was fashioned in a slapdash way to hide the fact that the artist had trouble drawing a dartboard.
MW: Roots country comes to Santa Royale!
MW: Mary to Toby: “Wait till you see the guy who just moved into Saul’s old place. What an Ass!”
“He’s a jerk?”
“No”
Frazz: No thanks, Frazz and Caulfield. I’ll just get my life advice from Mary Worth.
Luann: Luann is a fucking dumb ass #17,803. Also, is Jack over there levitating out of confusion, concern, or amusement?
CS: I hate my colorblindness sometimes. Those geese look weird to me.
MW: If he is so familiar with moving, why is he applying the tape wrong?!
Bruce Springsteen is moving to Santa Royale! I can’t wait for Mary to misrepresent Born In The USA to be about whatever bullshit she’s meddling in this week.
JP: It may be hard for enemies to find common ground but ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’ as Pavel and April’s Mom share a moment over Sam’s bullet riddled body.
9CL: I can’t decide if this trend of the characters using a lot of words to literally say nothing is better than them using a lot of words to figuratively say nothing.
Pib: I’m going to assume Padraig pulled the arrows out of Luda’s back, because that’s only slightly less stupid than him slamming her down on the ground with the arrows still in her back. I can’t believe I’m giving Brooke the benefit of the doubt here.
@taig: 9CL: I can’t decide if this trend of the characters using a lot of words to literally say nothing is better than them using a lot of words to figuratively say nothing.
Who else read this comment and thought it was about Judge Parker?
Zits: This is pretty much how my youngest would procrastinate.
FC: Two seconds later, Jeffy walks in and gets run over. He’ll say some darnedest thing about his broken femur.
MW:
“Robin Zander, the rest of the band and I played at a gathering dedicated to the merchandising of the great wandering ascetic and spiritual leader, and recorded it. We’ve called our CD ‘Cheap Trick: Live at Buddha-Con’ !”
— Rick Nielsen
FC: Thel keeps a portrait mirror above the entertainment system so that when Bil plays his 60’s rebellion albums he can be reminded of who he really is.
“No matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again”
Unless you’ve committed a heinous crime and are in prison for several life sentences with no chance of parole.
@Schroduck: re GA: Don’t be distracted by the liniment reference. That’s not the joke. The joke is “At my age, it’s better to be seen than viewed!” This is prime Old Folks humor! I plan to use it myself soon.
MW:
“Here’s what people say about what they think of all my commercials I do on TV these days: ‘Dogg’s are GREAT!’ “
— Calvin Broadus, a/k/a Snoop
MW: so, rodeo rider/ country singer?
MW: Turns out, the man in question is “Bottom” from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Tomorrow we’ll see his donkey head in full June Brigman glory.
Grossie’s kinda hoping it’s orange.
Gasoline Alley: Walt would rather be seen than viewed. He knows we’re out here, peering in at his superannuated existence with detached curiosity. He knows!
Crock: Don’t sell Roy short. He’s made the bold choice of a sapphire baseball cap, worn backwards, in what must be the 1920s.
MW: Taylor Mead does Santa Royale.
MW: does Mary allow dungarees at Charterstone?
Marvin – Who does he distinguish Bitsy’s piles of shit from his own?
MW – Nice glutes, but how does he feel about dogs? Are dogs good? I hope he thinks dogs are good.
Rex Morgan: What a maroon! Rene could make millions bilking hundreds of rubes with his Professor Mirakle shtick. But no. Hold a few guys hostage over a few bucks. Dumbass.
Today’s Hagar the Horrible has a shout out to Lucky Strike cigarettes. I’ll let you find it on your own.
Gasoline Alley: After Skeezix leaves, Walt slumps dejectedly in his chair. “He didn’t notice the lamps,” he thinks. “I got the lamps shaped like upside-down naked-lady torsos just so we’d have something to talk about…and he didn’t even notice! I thought they would keep him here at least an hour!”
Naturally there’s a whole back room set up, complete with dartboard, ritualistically presented darts, and drunken Frenchman, when the modiste could simply pick a color or step away for a moment to pretend she’s consulting a designer. This really encapsulates what Crock is all about. It doesn’t matter how pointless and counterintuitive a scenario is; if it’s in the service of an unfunny half-joke that doesn’t really land anyway, Crock is always prepared to put in the work.
Those last two anonymous comments were mine. I can’t let Anonymous or anyone else take the fall for me.
(Appropriately named) Crock – Almost as funny as a professional referral to Omar the tent maker….
GA – And thus the Lazy Boy Toilet model was born….
MW – No matter how fucked up things are, they can always get worse….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: Sure, he can use packing tape. But does he know how to hold a CELL PHONE?
Crock – I have to give the artist credit: That’s the drunkest-looking pie chart I’ve ever seen.
GA – I have to give the writer credit: This is very much like the conversations I’ve had with nonagenarians. It’s not in any way entertaining, but at least it’s accurate. Except how does Walt make the sound of a check mark? I hope it’s a Victor Borge “Phonetic Punctuation” type of sound.
MW – Another meticulously sourced quote. Ed Buddha, a taxi driver from the Bronx.
Crock – The soldier peeking out from the giant CROCK is anxiously waiting to report the new fall color back to headquarters. But was it “Taupe if by land, fuchsia if by sea” or the other way around?
Jungle Jim – “I need your help, Jim,” says Colonel Cripps. “I tell you, this Puerto Rico thing is hanging over my head like a cloud.”
@Professor Well Actually: And you know Mary calls them “dungarees.”
@Peanut Gallery: MW – Another meticulously sourced quote. Ed Buddha, a taxi driver from the Bronx.
***
I can back that up – I had Ed as a driver once and he said that exact thing, followed by yelling “Motherfucker” out the window to another driver. I love New York.
@39 Peanut Gallery:
“But, Jim, get your stinkin’ feet off my desk!”
Wary Morth:
It’s over?
Not on your nelly!
That’s Saul’s long lost son from a previous relationship, who’s just moving to Charterstonistan, and who will cavort with Saul until it’s good that he’s really nobody but since poor soul looking for a father figure, at which point – there being no Dawn Weston to get in the way this time – Saul and Eve will adopt him! And then he’ll be sad, but Max and Greta will lick his tears and make him feel better, and then he’ll remember his Kilo had a secret recipe. Besides which she liked colours! And then maybe it’ll end, not before.
@Ukranazi Stepan: *found, not good.
FOREHEAD F LI CKER@Sequitur: Today’s Hagar the Horrible has a shout out to Lucky Strike cigarettes. I’ll let you find it on your own.***
Found it!
I think it was The Office that once had a sign for a law firm with new-age baseball analytics references: Babip, Pecota, and something.
@Schroduck: I believe the joke is, riding the horse will make his butt sore, and ordinarily one would treat the soreness with liniment. So “preventive medicine” is putting liniment on the saddle first. “Yeah! Something like that!” is the appropriate response to this joke.
Pluggers after-breakfast nap: Besides, it’s mostly news on TV at that time, and who needs that?
@Sequitur: Now the Colonel’s going to have to change the blotter, as soon as Jim leaves.
Gasoline Alley
At some point Walt’s lovely helper/ maid/ curator of Chez Walt will retire. Surely, the Writer realizes this as he too will retire.
It is just weird if Walt lives before either retire, is what I am getting at here.
That last line in the strip plays like a morbid gagline but it also seems like foreshadowing.
Buck up, readers. It was bound to happen. He can be a super centennial for a while longer but not forever. Before long he will join the ghosts haunting Family Circus and haunt all comics strips who let his ghost visit. We know he has visited comic strip heaven. Hell, maybe that is how he stays in the strip: periodic visits to the Old Comic Strips Home, a.k.a. Comic Strip Heaven.
@taig: PIB – Those magically disappearing arrows. First, the goal was to shoot her with arrows so she would fall out of the sky and they could eat her. Then the arrows only severed her wings so she fell to the ground. Then, after she landed, the arrows appeared in her back. Then they vanished then they reappeared. Then her lover was carrying her on his horse while she had arrows in her back. Then the arrows vanished again when he tossed her onto the ground.
And, especially in Pibgorn, he seems to have moved on from “show off my expansive vocabulary” to “show off exactly how many words I can use to express anything”.
Wrecks Moregone:
Now to change its title to New Character, Copyright Licence Lawyer!
—————————————-
Luann:
Look at the Inner Beauty oozing out of every pore.
—————————————
Zits:
Is this the only strip that roughly approximates how actual teenagers behave?
—————————————-
Sick Chix:
….was actually not halfway bad today for whatever reason.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: …and also Brother Ut has a house now? How long did the lakefucking last?
MW: Buddha doesn’t mention here that you have to die before being reincarnated, so I will.
Crock: So, when does barefoot, undershirtted, baseball capped, drunk-on-the-floor-in-the-afternoon Roy lose dart privileges?
@30 Sequitur: Something on Lucky Eddie is “so round, so firm, so fully packed?” I’m not looking for that.
Ah yes, “shoppe”, because nothing says “Third Republic colonial France” like “Fake Elizabethan English”
In another classic of “misunderstanding the thing you quote”, Mary Worth doesn’t get that the whole point of Buddhism is no longer having to begin again!
@Peanut Gallery: Of course, this only makes sense if he’s riding bare-ass naked, but there’s nothing strange about that. The important thing was that he had an onion on his belt, which was the style at the time. He didn’t have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…
@Peanut Gallery:
Okay, so US Military intelligence hears about a high-ranking noble from the “Belligerent Overseas Nation”* wanting to rebuild his ancestral home in the Carribean, “but with a modern twist”, and they just let him? They don’t do anything when much more cargo ships than would be required to import a castle brick-by-brick arrive there? And now there’s a replica Castle Wolfenstein*, with a bomber/fighter-ready airstrip, U-Boat* dock and V2** launchers closer to US mainland than the Florida Keys, and they have to call in Jungle Jim with a “Who could have seen THAT one coming!?”
…this is meant to be the old joke about “military intelligence”, right?
*We don’t have to play cute and pretend we don’t know who the strip is referring to, right? …Or am I assuming incorrectly here?
**An anachronism, but I’m exaggerating for effect.
MW: The new story begins (kind of) and I already hate it. We’re off to a rough start when our first impression of the new guy is Hank Hill ass and whiny self-pity. Since he appears to be an adult male with a pulse, he’s meets all of Dawn Weston’s rigorous requirements for a lover, so expect to see her sink her claws into him in the next two weeks. On the bright side, Saul and Eve aren’t important enough to appear holiday strips, so we won’t have to see these two creatures again for at least a year.
JP: Remember how the CIA grilled April in prison for months about her mother’s location? Remember how April was put on probation by the CIA, which is watching her at all times? You might think meeting with her highly-wanted terrorist assassin mother without immediately reporting it might impact that probation, but Francesco Marciuliano doesn’t think about things like that, so it’s fine. Also, Helena Bowerns is in no danger of being apprehended by the CIA, which was fully apprised of her arrival and is literally watching her meet with April right now, because Marciuliano didn’t write it that way. Ditto for Pavel’s people. We’re doing quippy girl-boss stuff right now, we don’t have time for other characters to behave logically and reasonably in pursuit of their own goals.
Y’all I am *so invested* in Jeans McSquarebutt here. I have never been this intrigued by Mary Worth in my *life*. Who is he?? Is he a dangerous rogue (guitar, rolled sleeves) or a sympathetic soul (vulnerable sighing, t-shirt tucked in)? Is he destined to change the life of one of our heroes? I have already passed through the stage of “must read Mary Worth every day to find out” into the stage of “must never read Mary Worth again in case it disagrees with the headcanon I have built up for this man” in which, come to think of it, he falls in love with the guy at the U-Haul counter, cancels his move, and never appears in the strip again, because I just want what’s *best* for him, and that definitely isn’t going to happen within a hundred-mile radius of Mary Worth or, God help him, the Westons. Get out while you can, Jeans! #TeamUHaulGuy #FreeMcSquarebutt #PackingTapeLoveStory
@Ukranazi Stepan: PIB = “Brother Ut has a house now? How long did the lakefucking last?”
This storyline has been running since the beginning of 2019, and has been re-booted at least once.
I thought there used to be two dweeby teen monks competing for Luda’s affections,as well as Brother Ut. Plus the whole pyrokinetic powers reveal, which should have come in handy when people were trying to kill her.
All this, covering what is going into Year Five of this tale, and her origin stroy is still “she was a human girl for a long time and liked to swim around in the pond every day making out with teenaged monks, but then one day she suddenly possessed pyrokinesis and burned a bunch of strangers to death, then later she suddenly turned from a human into a green fairy for no apparent reason, and now she’s dead. Haha! Got your hopes up. She’s very much alive and will soon be back to boinking!
MW – Do we dare even hope that Moy is going to introduce a NEW character for Mary to meddle with? Instead of the same, sorry pool of tired old Charterstone residents that she’s relied on for years now? I can’t think of any buff, guitar-slingin’ characters from the past. He has Hugo’s physique, but doesn’t have zee Franch accent, and Hugo didn’t play guitar (that we know of.) Jared’s not that fit and, also, doesn’t play guitar. Can’t think of who else this might be, so we might have our first Special Guest Meddlee in many years.
Buff Singer-Songwrighter, whoever you are, I’m glad to see you. I’m glad to see *anyone* new.
@Peanut Gallery:
MW – Another meticulously sourced quote. Ed Buddha, a taxi driver from the Bronx.
Thanks for clearing that up. I thought it was Texas Buddha, a fellow who used to post here.
@Peanut Gallery: Personal favorite – God slams a door in your face without slamming a window shut on your fingers.
Crock (which I only read here): they’re not even TRYING with that dartboard. A toddler could draw a better dartboard/ A toddler with BRAIN DAMAGE could draw a better dartboard.
RMMD: I gotta say, Poopoo Petersen’s expression in that final panel is pure gold. “But Perfesser Mirakle—a swingset on the moon’s my happy place. WHY ARE YOU RUINING IT FOR ME??
Crock – Loden Green was great on Bonanza.
Crocky — What, no cerulean?
MW — Wasn’t the Buddha’s whole dharma about how we should become enlightened so that we wouldn’t constantly be reborn and begin again? Sure this wasn’t from Norman Vincent Peale?
RMMD-Sadly for dessert for they shall have the old washed up hooker who spends her time sitting in bars getting drunk lamenting about all the choices she has made that has led to this.
“No matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again.”
Coincidentally, this was the same thing the Colorado State Rams coach told the team last night after they lost that double-overtime heartbreaker against the new national darling, Deion Sanders’ Colorado Buffaloes.
Crock – Dartboard fails without “aubergine.”
Mary Worth – Thank goodness. I hope this is the last “woof” we hear from Greta for a while, and I’m REALLY hoping that gnomish Saul disappears.
The new guy is probably moving into Saul’s vacated condo. I hope that he’s a rock musician or possibly folk singer, since that looks like an acoustic guitar. I do NOT want to see roots country bleeding over from Rex Morgan.
JP – It’s not surprising that Mom is two steps ahead of Sam. Jeffy Keane would be two steps ahead of Sam, and Jeffy’s a moron.
MW: The way he’s drawn, I can’t tell whether final panel guy is in his seventies or in his eighties.
Operation M.A.N.A.S.S.
PigPorn- I’ve not been paying much attention to this strip over the past year or so…..but how in the HELL did Brooke get away with posting this shit?
https://www.gocomics.com/pibgorn/2023/08/23
@Arabella: Well, Mary is Doll (apologies to Eddie Fisher)
@Danielakiiki: There are no editors at GoComics.
Brooke had the power to stop all reader comments on his strip at Go so I suspect he might be supplying some ‘special’ illustrations for somebody ‘special’ at Go.
MW: Aw, they have their armchairs side by side. I suppose sitting together on a couch would have been a little too risque for a married couple? This is Mary Worth, not some hippy commune.
Hagar: I know the Vikings got around, but I’m not sure they ever practiced “voodoo”. Once again, I am forced to question the historical accuracy of this comic. Sad!
Crock: I’ll admit, today’s strip is kinda funny. Almost enough to prevent me from making jokes about the clothing store being raided by Crock’s men at his wife’s orders and just taking all their wares while shooting the owners. Almost.
Gasoline Alley: I’ll give Gasoline Alley some credit, too. When other soap strips either move as slow as a tortoise on valium or rush at breakneck speeds bouncing from plot point to plot point, it’s pacing is USUALLY pretty good, the occasional “old man breaking his back” incident notwithstanding. Take today’s entry; in something like, say, Mary Worth or Judge Parker, this conversation would be its own sub-arc in a larger arc that took nearly a year and a half to resolve. But Gasoline Alley knows that, realistically, nobody can stand to be in Walt’s presence longer than a minute or two, so they wrap it up in a single strip. Handy!
Mary Worth: Next week will be long buildup about who this mysterious hunk could be, dickteasing the readers with thoughts of a new storyline, then next Sunday will have the guy suddenly pull off his Scooby-Doo style costume and reveal himself as Saul. “JUST KIDDING! YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE ME! THIS IS MY COMIC NOW!!! woof!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: “Marvin – Who does he distinguish Bitsy’s piles of shit from his own?”
If I know Marvin, and I do, blindfolded taste test?
@Danielakiiki: I am not easily shocked and I like sexytimes and comics for adults as much as anyone else, but WTF?
This “Mary Worth” storyline has been like the summer heat: it started in May, it was oppressive and unhealthy and the fact that it lasted much longer than expected testifies the horrible state of the world.
@Danielakiiki: And remember she had arrows in her back all the time!
Phantom: Is Stripey the 15th sneaking up to sucker punch the King of Belgium? He certainly deserves it.
HtH: It’s the dartboard, isn’t it? It looks like the Lucky Strike graphic. I’m wondering about the MD Beer sign. Is that supposed to be a reference to Mogen David MD (Mad Dog) 20/20?
@Unca Bob: Got the reference!
MW:
“Your armchair looks good next to mine, Saulie!”
“You bet! — just like Julius and Ethel’s!”
Mary Worth is introducing a new character and Brigman wants to draw some eye candy this time, damn it.
If the new Mary Worth character is Johnny Malotte, all is forgiven.
@Danielakiiki: Between the fish scales and fanged maw, this is about as sexy as going down on a payara. It’s so anti-erotic that nobody cares.
@Ukranazi Stepan: That is NOT my fetish.
@jroggs: Either way I guess it still tastes like fish.
Classic Peanuts: Charlie Brown turning tricks? The ’70s really was a different world.
@55 Baja Gaijin:
Before the catch phase was used in Lucky Strike commercials, it was a song by Merle Travis.
The Lucky Strike commercial has a clue as to what to look for in the Hagar comic.
MW: The new guy looks to me like Mike Nomad, who could certainly bring some life to the strip. This would be the greatest crossover ever!
@Tom T.: Fun Fact: “Sparky” Schulz at one time did strips about the card game bridge. See http://www.aboutcomics.com/wp/bridge-mix-the-bridge-cartoons-of-charles-m-schulz/
Dustin: it seems unlikely that dad would put in a collared shirt and cardigan after working in the lawn all afternoon. Presumably the last panel is lazily reused clip art.
A&J: They spend all their time f-cking to keep the shadow of the Reaper at bay.
@Anonymous:
This really encapsulates what Crock is all about.
___________________________________________
You forgot the r between the c and the a.
Flash Gordon: Oooooooo….”Injury to the Eye motif,” plus lady in bondage. Somewhere in Purgatory, Dr. Frederic Wertham pauses in his counting of endless grains of sand and smiles nostalgically.
MW: There’s an acoustic guitar there. This guy is Bob Dylan.
MT: Plus, Satan really loves goats*. Nothing wrong with getting on the big guy’s good side.
*It’s true, according to the popular folklore. You could look it up.
@Guy Nerdlinger: Mort Walker must not have played bridge, or else we’d still be getting jokes about it in Beetle Bailey, along with all the golf. Sarge would make Beetle his partner.
@White Rabbit: #93: I’m all on board for a Mike Nomad crossover, especially if he hands out a few knuckle sandwiches to Wilbur or Ian.
Jungle Jim: Hey, Jim. You’re not an 80 year old man. Why are your pants hiked up to your nipples?
RMMD: Since they’re stuck there all night how is Rene going to keep his hostages from running off when he has to go to the bathroom? Is he going to hold them at gunpoint in the bathroom and make them watch while he takes a dump?
MW: I had a brief glimmer of hope that Wilbur was moving out of the Worthverse.
MW: Annnnnd- that’s a wrap! Whatta season we’ve had here, capped by our record-breaking merch sales of coordinated neckwear! Hey Intern, have the pumpkin spice Pet treats come in yet? With luck we’ll have another Star spokesanimal on panel here to do the promos while Greta and Max take a well-deserved break. Anything about that new guy who showed up today? Have the ladies made any Pet requests for him yet? I’d better give ’em a call…
So that’s the last of the neckwear merch orders goin’ out today. Please watch what you’re doin’ – I don’t want any more complaints from customers who received the wrong item. I hope you sent a replacement to that ditzy dame who got the studded leather collar by mistake. I told her to just keep it. Oh, did you happen to get her phone number?
@Baja Gaijin: “Something on Lucky Eddie is ‘so round, so firm, so fully packed?’”
Swell. Now I’m going to have a “Who Stole the Kishka?” ear worm for the rest of the day.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Dearest Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars,
Just wanted to let you know that the Otto leather studded collar works GREAT. Thursday was AWESOME!
@104 Ukulele Ike:
Yup, that’s Parma.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Phantom No. 15 (1845) looks like he may have been involved in the illegal African slave trade. That sugar cane wasn’t going to cut itself.
@Sequitur: AND Ghoulardi! All the old-time Clevelanders here will be weeping into their white socks after they open that link.
Popeye: What is it with all these one-eyed cats in the comics?
At least it kinda makes sense in this comic.
DT: Okay, is this one of those fakeouts the Dick Tracy team do sometimes where they set up the next story while Dick’s still involved in the current one? Or do they actually think that yesterday’s strip of Dick saying “Welp, I guess we’ll never know what was actually going on, but there’s a criminal in hospital, and that’s good enough for me!” has wrapped up the phone scam story with a nice bow?
MT: “We introduced this vine to prevent soil erosion, but it proved too good at this, to the detriment of other plants! So we got ravenous herbivores famed for their ability to digest any plant matter to eat all the kudzu! That should protect all the other plants!” Join us next decade, when Mark will be enthusiastically endorsing the plan to reverse desertification via the import of goat-eating tigers.
Phantom: “I’m not trying to glorify myself, but the legend my ancestors created!” is a line Stripey uses a lot, isn’t it?
RMMD: I know Rene is hilariously bad at this stuff, but surely if you’re a con man and one of the marks is saying your self-help scam actually works and he wants your permission to share it with others, the correct response isn’t to keep repeating it was a con, but to start talking about licencing agreements?
Afternoon Family Circus for fun and pleasure.
@Anonymous: Perhaps the key is when the Colonel said “The Army and Navy intelligence are working together on this problem.” Everyone knows Army and Navy are bitter football rivals, so they’re actually spending all their time spying on each other. That leaves the field wide open for Jim to swoop in and be the hero.
@Horace Broon:
That could come in handy. “I’m not eating this giant ice cream sundae for myself, but to honor my ice-cream-loving ancestors!”
Ripley’s:
The tour group thought they were all drunk.
MW: “Eve, you complete me…” Eve smiles as she considers Saul’s fervent declaration. And you complete ME, Saulie baby! Or at least the hole in my bank account!
I can’t believe how anxious he is for us to “combine our financials” … He even suggested it would be easier and more convenient for us to go to MY bank to take care of the details! He really is a dear. He’s going to transfer a substantial sum into my checking account! Now, I know that rich guys like him have much of their fortune tied up in investments and other non-liquid assets – we’ll get to those in time – but he wants me to have available cash for now!
Oooh, I wonder how much it will be! Probably at least a hundred grand! Maybe even up to the FDIC insurance amount! Ha. What do I need with FDIC now? Maybe having him around isn’t going to be so bad, after all. How much, how much? I guess we’ll find out tomorrow…..
@Ukulele Ike: Re Flash Gordon – That second panel works best if you imagine the monster speaks in a sassy black woman’s voice. “I underestimated your cunning once before, girl!”
Marvin: Bitsy walks around stepping in Marvin shit. Bitsy is badass, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit.
“Is everything okay,Greta?” “Well, if you or Martha Raye over there could put my dentures back in I’d appreciate it!”*
*In the canine woof.
Luann: One rather surprising “surefire fix” for hiccups is stimulation of the vagus nerve by means of digital rectal massage. It would have made for a much more amusing strip, is all I’m saying.
@Sequitur:
The Lucky Strike commercial has a clue as to what to look for in the Hagar comic.
___________________
Usually they’re referencing Winston,guess they changed sponsors. Who could forget Lucky Eddie’s “Mermaids f*** good like a fish woman should.”
On Sept 17th Josh wrote:
The Ass™ has arrived
______________________
Will burp Weston IS Jackie Chan in “Enter the Ass™”
@92 Sequitur: I just found it. It’s easier to spot on the Seattle Times comics site than the Arcamax.
@95 Tom T.: on Arlo and Janis: Is there a better way to keep The Reaper at bay?
@99 Guillermo el chiclero: “Or?” Isn’t Mr. Nomad man enough to hand a few knuckle sandwiches to Wilbur AND Ian?
Six Chex and a Cat Called Sherman’s Lagoon: “Too bad I still can’t find the humor.”
@104 Ukulele Ike: I’m not clicking that link. No earworm for me.
@108 Sequitur: Curiosity doesn’t kill all cats; some just get an eye poked out.
@109 Horace Broon: on Rex Morgan: By his own stupidity Rene keeps leaving easy money on the table. He’s almost Plugger stupid in that regard.
Nice that Did could find a part for Assey Mcgee.
@Garrison Skunk: Sorry, Sid, spell check doesn’t like your name for some reason and makes me change it back manually.
@110 Sequitur: Ha ha! Good one!
Actually, the A** is moving because next-door neighbor Eve and new roomie Saul make all kinds of noises at night, accompanied by the whining of the dogs who see it all.
Early Late Thread Cuisine: Keep in mind this recipe is in the “Inviting Vegetable Salads” section of the recipe cards.
MW: Maybe that’s Tommie Beedie moving out. Karen Moy finally realized that one can’t afford a luxury condo in SoCal on what a grocery store stock boy makes. He’s moving into Ashlee’s old trailer. Oh hell, in SoCal he’d probably need a roommate to swing that trailer.
PV: Ok. Who in this story hasn’t been bound and gagged yet? “Me! Me! Me! I’m next!” shouts several people.
PV: They might be starving in old Cynru but they’ve got no shortage of rope to tie people up.
@Peanut Gallery: I was going to say “Maybe Durok IS a sassy black lady underneath all that fur” but then the guard (DOES THAT GUARD HAVE FOUR ARMS) identifies him as a male in the penultimate panel.
Anyway, your comment made me laugh and it came out as a snort and now my nose hurts.
@Baja Gaijin: Sauerkraut Mold: It’s both the name of the dish and the main ingredient!
The first rule of Inviting Vegetable Salads is: If you’re throwing a party, don’t invite these vegetable salads.
@128 Baja Gaijin:
If that doesn’t make one urp, nothing will.
@Ukulele Ike: Sorry. But that’s why they put the liniment on your Kleenex before you snort. Preventive medicine!
@121 Baja Gaijin:
Ya know you could have used my link.
@Peanut Gallery: Oh, I’ve been putting liniment on my Kleenex for years.
Gasoline Alley-Walt’s continued existence reminds me of the Greek myth where a goddess wished for immortality for her lover but forgot eternal youth and her lover would just keep getting older but never died.
@Garrison Skunk:
LOL For the rest of this storyline, no matter what this joker’s name or problem turns out to be, I will always think of him as Assey McGee.
@Baja Gaijin: re “inviting vegetable salad”
I “regret” that I must decline the invitation.
Pluggers ill-advised reading material.
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: Nelson Muntz gets reincarnated as a cat.
@Baja Gaijin: NOPE.
Sauerkraut. Lemon Jello. Pimento. The Geneva Convention should ban this, if it hasn’t already.
The vegetable bows and black olives really add something.
I know that I have mentioned before that I loathe sauerkraut more than any food like substance. When I was a child I made a vow that I wouldn’t eat it even on New Years Day, which is the tradition here. I don’t.
The only thing sauerkraut is good for is when you heat it up, the pan gets sparkling clean from the acid in the sauerkraut.
Mary Worth: The Boss has arrived.
(The last panel looks sort of like the cover of “Born in the U.S.A.” That’s the joke. That’s all I got.)
MW: Wilbur and new guy will have a Speedo competition.
@131 Peanut Gallery: I agree!
@132 Sequitur: At first I thought it was congealed urp.
@134 Sequitur: Mea culpa.
@138 Arabella: I have a feeling people who’d serve that mold wouldn’t make that fact known at the time of invitation for fear of a whole bunch of declines.
@139 Sequitur: If only it were that easy to “off” a plugger.
@141 I speak Jive: Yup, this pretty much ticks all boxes of “mid-century monstrosity” except mayonnaise. But wait! Look at the upper right: horseradish-seasoned mayo!
On the subject of sauerkraut: American sauerkraut is “cabbage in battery acid.” In Germany, it’s not as acidic and has a bit of sugar to moderate the tartness. “Red kraut” is actually very sweet.
@143 Professor Well Actually: Wilbur would win the Speedo contest only if he were competing against the Easy Sauerkraut Mold linked above.
Gassed Up Alleycats: “Are you ok, Uncle Walt?” “Check! I still have my multiboobage lamps! They’re major awards, you know. Won them on “9 Weirdchick Lame: The Radio Show” even got an autographed picture from Eve Arden, Chedda, herself.”
Pibgorn Luda is now a fairy or some other magical being so this is her skin rather than some kind of clothing, right? So is she a naked 13 year-old or is she now a naked
magical being so it doesn’t count as child p0rn? Asking for my friend in the vice squad.
@Baja Gaijin:
@139 Sequitur: If only it were that easy to “off” a plugger.
____________________________________________
Ironic how hard it is to pull a Plugger’s plug.
I think I just accidently discovered the way to find humor in “9 Chickweed Lame”: hear Cheddar talk in Eve Arden’s voice and Almost speaking in Gale Gordon’s.
Crock: An eerie reveal when you consider that the Dress Shoppe doesn’t look big enough to have a back room.
MW: Moy and Brigman hereby resolve to introduce all new characters ass-first. The cover for the Boss’s Born in the USA provided the inspiration.
@Baja Gaijin:
@141 I speak Jive: Yup, this pretty much ticks all boxes of “mid-century monstrosity” except mayonnaise.
_________________________________________
Needs more Peeps® and Twizzlers™.
BC: So where did Peter’s overseas correspondent get their animus against Mark E. Smith?
DtM: You cannot comprehend how deeply it is that I hope Henry Mitchell doesn’t know where the phrase “this is where the magic happens” comes from.
DT: “Thank you, taciturn visitor, for slipping on rubber gloves as I’m about to show you my valuables” is an exemplar of victim stupidity that might have been cut from one of the Scary Movie sequels for being too over-the-top.
Pibgorn: “Show, don’t tell” really taking a beating here.
RMMD: Getting frustrated that the marks in your scams aren’t smarter is a careful-what-you-wish-for if I ever heard one.
@152 Garrison Skunk: Peeps and Twizzlers are more of a 21st Century Cuisine Monstrosities thing.
@154 Baja Gaijin:
How ’bout a modern day sauerkraut recipe?
@155 Sequitur: That’s not a monstrosity. I remember RetroRuth made the same cake. It was delicious.
@156 Baja Gaijin:
As far as I’m concerned, the only place for sauerkraut is on a Reuben sandwich.
@157 Sequitur: Are you absolutely sure you don’t like sauerkraut encased in lemon Jell-O with a side of mayo? I forgot, you’re not Wilbur Weston. Sorry.
rmmd the mirkle method was just a con and noncense. well that con your having a fit about renee worked since mudd used it to make you some dough wihile buzz secretly tells room servive to send the cops with the order that they are being helld hostage by renee. luann sorry luann can’t avoid something she already caused forherself when she decided to follow that hiccup cure.
@Peanut Gallery: lol I just remembered it was Mary Worth Quotevestigation Day and I was like “come on.” Real low-energy effort from the brainyquote team today.
Anyway even the inspirational-quote version attributed to the Buddha usually doesn’t contain the word “is.” The earliest version I can find in Google Books is one Richard A. Singer in 2007, in Eastern Wisdom for Your Soul, attributing “No matter how hard the past, one can always begin again today” to ol’ Buddhinsky. Can we at least do an interesting misquote next week?
@matt w: Buddha was a frequent guest in Sinfest (back when it was good/before Tat lost his marbles), along with Satan, Jesus, God (hand puppets), and the Great Serpent Metaphor for Eastern Culture. Other characters generally referred to him as “Da Bood.”
Garfield-This is going viral.
@matt w: Thanks for doing diligence, as they say. Buddha quotes circa 2007!
// Mooncalves! I got some Jesus quotes from the early ’90s. and Cthulhu Hisself often posts at this blog.
I like to think that this Mary Worth bolded the word ‘complete’, as a meta-way of saying “no, seriously, this storyline is done. it’s over. we’re not seeing these characters again until one of them falls off a cruise ship.”
Nobody’s going to see this because it’s Tuesday morning, but what the hell, I’ll post it anyway:
Gasoline Alley: “Hi, Gertie! Is Uncle Walt around? Boy, when you signed on to be his caregiver, I’ll bet you never thought he’d still be around nineteen years later, did you? Hey, Uncle Walt, I stopped by to check on you because you’re 125 years old and could die at any minute.
“…come to think of it, I’m 102. How come my kids never come to check on me?”