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Mary Worth, 12/4/23

Oh, wow, it turns out Sonia isn’t the only disrespectful person in Kitty’s life, and her smooch with Keith was actually interrupted by this guy Brad. “It’s not what you think!” she protests to the person who knocked her up 20 years ago and who she’s been on two dates with since, as if he had some kind of jurisdiction over her. “I would never have a no-strings-attach fuck buddy relationship with a guy who wore a dumb hat like this! He did not wear the hat the other times he came by for sex!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/4/23

Sigh, it looks like Rene really did rip off this guy’s self-help method, but maybe it’s worth it because this series of events has resulted in one of the most profound Rex pissyfaces we’ve ever seen. That’s a man who’s experiencing depths of contempt he never before thought possible. I’m assuming he’s grunting out “Self-help program … you created!?!” like Frankenstein’s monster, his outrage thickening his tongue and taking away his ability to use linking words like “that”.

Arctic Circle, 12/4/23

I genuinely love the expression on the rabbit’s face here. He’s immediately and involuntarily imagining the horrifying scene — a massive, powerful polar bear ripping off the top of a camper, pulling out a half-sleeping surfer and devouring them, their screams echoing across the landscape and the snow besplattered with their blood and viscera. He’s a simple vegetarian! He’s not built to think about such horrors!

Pluggers, 12/4/23

I’ve been making jokes about Pluggers for more than 17 years at this point, and in all that time I have frankly gotten no closer to answering the perennial “what is a plugger?” question. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to sit back and let “You’re a plugger if you’re allergic to dust, or possibly pine needles” slip by. No. Absolutely not. I refute this!