More like Hi and Bankrupt, amiright
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Between Friends, 4/20/24
Not to sound like the old person that I literally am, but TV used to be a lot fewer two-hour movie premises stretched out over eight to ten 45-minute episodes and a lot more 85 episodes about friends just kind of hanging out and then, if they were popular enough to get a little budget boost, the occasional Very Special Episode where the gang all went on vacation to Italy together or something like that, to the genuine delight of their fans. Anyway, Between Friends is a strip that’s been running since 1994 and is about the titular friends just kind of hanging out, and Uncle Lumpy and I have posted about 17 times over the past 14 years, so you guys are probably fans of it by now, right? Well, the gals are going to Paris, so get excited!
Beetle Bailey, 4/20/24
This strip got me to Google “mouth taping for snoring” to discover that yes, this is a thing, and yes the photos that you get are all extremely disturbing, like even more than this weird creepy drawing of Sarge. One of the tape brands promoted for this is literally called “Hostage Tape!” Anyway fingers crossed that my wife, who claims that I snore (unproven), doesn’t read the blog today.
Hi and Lois, 4/20/24
Wow, Hi and Lois is leaning into becoming an experimental slice-of-life strip with no punchlines, huh? They could do worse, I guess. In other news, Lois’s business is failing!
135 replies to “More like Hi and Bankrupt, amiright”
MW: This is Wilbur’s own fantasy, where the only limits are his imagination, and his idealized version of himself is still balding with a double chin and needs corrective lenses. Not only that, but that cape can only reach his butt at the lowest, surely making him the laughingstock of the superhero community. The only question remains: Does Wilbur envision himself this way because he has the imagination of a tube worm or because he believes he’s beyond self-improvement? The latter would truly be his greatest delusion of all.
Family Circlejerk – Imagine all the “God Bless Yous” you’ll hear when Dolly blows a loud fart.
Because of Beetle Bailey’s art style, Beetle also looks like he is wearing mouth tape, and it’s bugging me that I can’t figure out if that’s part of the joke. This will continue to linger in the background of my thoughts as I go through my day, and it’s diabolical tricks like this that keep a comic strip running 50 years after its expiration date.
BF: Too late. They’ve already got Emily in Paris.
BB: Woof. The art is so unclear, I thought that was Sarge’s open mouth, and he had inhaled the tape in his sleep.
HnL: The joke is people would rather be out doing fun things in the sun than walking around the interior of a house? That’s all I’ve got.
Q: If Lois is holding an Open House, who is looking after Trixie?
A: No one, as usual.
Lois isn’t aware that interest rates have been hovering around 7% for the past two years after being historically low, meaning that many people who want to buy are priced out of the market and many people who might otherwise sell are holding on to their houses because they’d take a big hit buying a new house with a much higher rate. In other words, she’s bad at her job.
BF: The art in this strip always makes it seem like the characters are strung out in the worst way. Something about the eyes. Anyhow, in some cases it really works, as this scene is much funnier if you imagine these two having this discussion while stumbling around the park, absolutely wrecked on oxy.
BB: I don’t know what’s weirder: that Camp Swampy’s barracks have doors with nice wooden trim, or that they put cots right in the middle of them.
H&L: Dang, looks like Walker Inc is starting to get nervous about all that money they invested in Zillow stock.
@Grandfather Nutmeg of Western Finster: Heh. I like the way you think.
I pride myself on being able to figure out the jokes in the most obscure comic strips, but yeah, I’ve got nothing on this Hi and Lois. Maybe it’s a four years out of date reference to how people back then tried to isolate against Covid?
MW: Wow, “Wilburman.” Stan Lee wishes he could come back to life and think of that creative gem.
Between Friends: I don’t speak from experience, but I’m going to guess that the Hallmark Channel’s already done it.
BB: I call BS. Sarge doesn’t give give a rat’s ass who he disturbs with his snoring. It’s all part and parcel of his disgusting persona.
@Amelie Wikström: Five years, even. (Holy shit it’s been five years since I’ve gone shopping for groceries in the middle of the day.)
Frazz: And here I was thinking she was going to reference Muhammad Ali.
Luann: “Besides, I really think I’m magma. Duh.”
CS: You’re barking up the wrong sousaphone, Lillian. Frankenstein’s Monster was introspective and wondered about its/his purpose, whereas Dinkle is the true monster.
9CL: Looks like he broke her pinkie finger. Yikes!
I only did a one-way translation today to Welsh.
“Gwysiais fy holl ddigofaint cyfiawn a gwneud iddo addo i mi y byddai’n rhoi’r gorau i syllu ar fy ffenestr.”
“Ac mae’n troi allan ein bod ni’n dau yn llaw chwith.”
“Dychmygwch.”
BF – What’s the opposite of memorable? She’s got a forgetoir in her, for sure….
BB – I’m seeing a repurposed bondage gag….
H&L – Spring is here – the grass is riz. I wonder where the suckers is….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW – “Zak was looking into gym classes for both of us! He found one for me that’s all women! His too!”
MW: Iris is blathering, and Zak is looking at her adoringly(?), so they’ll fail to notice Wilbur entering his fugue state.
Zits: He can’t be talking about our Josh. Our Josh would keep going with this blog even if he had enough wealth to colonize a state that’s already been colonized at least once.
FC: “Also, a lot of ‘Jesus! Get that child out of here!'”
@taig:
On Crankshaft : I like how Lillian’s reaction to Harry Dinkle turning a convention meant to highlight multiple people into an egotrip centered entirely around himself is to try and “take responsibility” for it, ie make it all about HERSELF by claiming it was all her idea.
Like, how it’s almost like both Harry Dinkle and Lillian MacKenzie treat being an author as a way to get attention and adulation from others.
**************
On Luann : …yeah, I can buy that this is the Evans getting angry about how the anti-fans’
(ie, the ‘mudges, mostly)immediate reaction to this rebranding storyline was “Luann is the one who most desperately needs a brand assessment because she has nothing left to contribute to this strip, narratively speaking”. I mean, the buffer is two weeks, and this storyline has been going on for a month now.THIS RE-BRANDING STORYLINE HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A MONTH NOW
I feel like doing fun things for the memoir is a bit backwards in real life, but it was done very well by It’s Always Sunny in Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life so the pressure is on, Between Friends. This better be hilarious.
BF: Hemingway wrote that. A movable feast set in Munice.
MW – Wilbur looks like the pudgy kid in The Incredibles who turns into a super villain. Remember: No capes!
Beetle Bailey: Why would tape be rounded at the edges?
“So, what’s our punchline for this” Sarge is sleeping with his mouth open’ gag?”
“Um. . . black out the tooth, call it ‘mouth tape for snoring,’ and let’s go: Red Robin is having twofers on mai thais!”
H&L: Lois’ outfit from the Loretta Lockhorn collection isn’t doing her hips any favors.
BB- Blondie needs to discover Mouth Tape to address Dagwood’s SKNXXXXX problem.
@Anonymous: And Tiffany still hasn’t gotten any sleep!
@Anonymous: So you’re saying we might get to see Wilbur sucked into a jet engine? I’ll take it!
JP: ‘Delightful! Now let me gloat and monologue for the next week or two about how I won with no effort on my part (I learned from the best!) even though you clearly don’t have my money with you and your daughter and son-in-law must be putting some super-duper infallible plan into action which will lead to my ultimate doom! Delightful!’
Well, Hi & Lois already has a long history of jokeless Sundays, may as well see if they can get away with humorless strips the rest of the week too.
Gil Thorp: Dorth?? Dottie, Dot, Do (pronounced like dough, was the nickname my grandmother Dorothy’s siblings called her), okay, but not Dorth…sounds like a barfing noise. Please Henry, if you call anybody Dorth in real life, please stop.
MW:
In observance of National Prescribed Pharmaceuticals Month, Karen and June illustrate what can happen when you go off your meds.
H&L – I thought the last line sounded familiar and sure enough, “Where Is Everybody?” is the title of the premier episode of The Twilight Zone. This strip will begin a month-long story line which Lois finds herself alone, trying to figure out what has happened. When the story is resolved, Rod Serling will provide voice-over narration, proclaiming, “in the vastness of space, there is an enemy known as isolation.” Or Josh could be right. This is a stand-alone strip with absolutely no punchline.
Hi and Lois – Lois, no one wants to visit a house with kale growing in front of it. Try planting Doritos.
BF: I’m not really keyed into the massively popular middle-aged-spinsters-enjoying-a-modestly-pleasant-vacation genre, but I would have to imagine that most readers still need a little bit more of a hook than “I went to France with a friend.”
H&L: Well, Lois, they say real estate is about location, location, and location, and for most homebuyers that location is as far away from unsettling human-chimpanzee hybrid women as possible.
Luann: Even by this series’ standards, this was an incredibly boring waste of a week. And it’s all in service of an arc that is just as confusing and dumb now as it was a month ago. And I don’t just mean this branding scheme itself. Remember how Toni spent three weeks wondering how she could know if she was ready for motherhood without once thinking about Shannon? This is about as bad, maybe even worse, because Luann has a “brand” that the Evanses have been shoving down our throats for two years: fledgeling creative writer. But just like Shannon, that’s been thrown completely out the window for the sake of this arc.
MW: This series is trying way too hard to force the flanderized Wilbur memes. Not a fan of this trend at all.
DT: Reminder – this book about an angel mouse emo band frontman (???) is supposed to be Scardol’s notes to himself about where he hid the money that he planned to keep and use for himself, so you would think it would have exactly one obscure clue that would only make sense to Scardol himself, like a security question for a bank account log-in. Instead, it’s literally a goddamned scavenger hunt of puzzles and riddles for anyone to solve, because of course it is. Hopefully Croptop, Dave, and Broadside take a second to flip ahead before racing off to the library, because I have a suspicion that all these clue destinations except the last one will be a total waste of time.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I think the boss is back from his lodge meeting”
“Did you pass the initiation?”
“Oh, I sure did…”
“At last I feel truly respected”
JP: Remember yesterday when Pavel was once again feeling bitterly “betrayed and ignored” because the people he bullied into doing his bidding gave him exactly what he wanted but not quite in the exact precise manner in which he demanded it? Francesco Marciuliano doesn’t! So now Pavel is positively delighted at this turn of events! And why wouldn’t he be? What could possibly be wrong here?
There are a ton of red flags in all this that Pavel should be noticing, but let’s talk about arguably the biggest one. If we rule out the idea that Helena tied up and delivered herself to Pavel’s compound about 15 meters from his front foor (as Pavel himself asserted yesterday), this necessarily means one of two things:
A) April drove a vehicle all the way up to the front of Pavel’s house, got out, pulled her frantic unruly hostage out of the backseat or trunk, dumped her on the ground, got back in the vehicle, and drove away, all without being noticed by any of the guard posts and patrols, cameras, or any of Pavel’s other security measures covering the approaches to his massive property; or
B) April parked her vehicle far enough away to be unnoticed, got out, picked up her frantic unruly hostage, and physically carried her across a large stretch of open ground all the way to the front of Pavel’s house, dumped her on the ground, and left without being noticed by any of the aforementioned security measures.
Now, both of these are already frankly unbelievable, but either way, warning bells should be going off in Pavel’s head; if his security missed this, what else could they have missed? But if Pavel had a brain at all or he wasted no time getting to the “tickling” he so giddily wants to do to Helena, that would mess up Helena’s perfect genius plan, so it’s not allowed. See, that’s what good writing is all about – creating easy paths for the protagonists to reach their desired goals without any complications to slow them down.
H&L: Lois fails to grasp the fact that maybe younger people aren’t buying homes anymore because they can’t afford them.
MW: The name of his hero persona includes his entire first name, and his mask covers ten percent of his face. But for some reason, no one will admit to knowing his secret identity.
GT: See, this is why girls shouldn’t play sports. They are simply too emotional and cry like little babies when they inevitably fail. “Dorth” should have stayed on the cheerleading squad where she belongs, jumping up and down and spurring the alpha males on to greater….
(Simone Biles launches a power head-butt into Uke’s crotch and Caitlin Clark makes him eat an entire basketball)
If you wanted to brand Luann (if you do, seek some professional help) I would go with DeGroot. You can’t get much degrootier than Luann.
GT – My mother’s name is Dorothy and I have never heard anyone call her “Dorth.” It’s possible that on the Milford girls’ softball team, “Dorth” is a pejorative term for a player who screws up. “Nice going, DORTH!”
H&L: I don’t care how hot the market is, people aren’t going to beat a path to your door if all you do is put an “Open House” signboard in front of it (has Lois even heard of Zillow?). Especially if the house has the rotten curb appeal of robin’s egg blue paint with khaki trim.
Beetle Bailey: Huh. I just always assumed that Sarge used a CPAP. But now that I think about it, that makes no sense in-universe because it might be moderately difficult to draw.
H&L: A lot of media back around the 1980s seemed to have their “housewives” working part time in real estate so they could still be able to take care of their children. Where’s that market now?
MW: One would think that Wilbur’s unimaginative imagination is the byproduct of a stroke. He’s always been that way but he probably is having a stroke.
JP:. Oh, that Pavel. He sees himself as an educated, erudite man always ready with a non mot. But has he ever read the story (fact or fiction) of the Trojan horse?
@jroggs: We’re arguably overlooking an even bigger problem with this premise: why does Pavel still have this massive compound in the first place? Since Blythe Danner here ratted out his entire operation (save this mysterious bank account she plundered for herself) to the CIA/FBI/Sam ‘n Yelich Detectives ‘R Us Agency (now with 100% less Yelich!), shouldn’t he be in deep, deep, hiding? No matter how powerful this guy claims to be, there’s no way the heat has blown over from a scandal this massive.
He should be in some fleabag motel, complaining about the roots country singer in the next room who won’t stop singing or shut up about some guy with ‘muddy boots’, cursing the name Bower(n)s. Or, why not simply take over April’s house and take everyone hostage? Everyone in this story seems to have forgotten that this all started with the threat of kidnapping the raspberry-haired brat. What happened to that little scheme?
She scheduled an open house for 4:20 on 4/20 and no one came? Confirmed: Lois’ customers are stoners. She needs to start putting Hi’s name front and center on her ads.
FC – They’re actually saying “Bless your heart.”
The Keanes get that a lot, especially Jeffy.
Rhymes With Orange – One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small. And the ones that mother gives you don’t do anything at all.
Crankshaft – That’s the most punchable smug smirk I’ve ever seen.
@taig:
#16 ME:. Both men are engrossed in fascinating conversations– Zac with Iris and Wilbur with himself. They’ll part, satisfied (providing Wilburman doesn’t punch Zacape with his fists of steel).
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
Reminded me of when William Shatner was talking about his breathing issues at night.
One fan asked “Have you tried sleeping with a fan?”
Shatner: Not interested.
Then the implications of that sentence dawned on the fan “I meant an oscillating fan!”
Other users: “Haha! you accidentally hit on William Shatner!”
C’shaft: No, in order for that to happen Harry would have to murder several people close to you causing you to chase him to a remote corner of the globe where you expire from exhaustion, prompting him to immolate himself and end his cursed existence. A sequence of events which I fully support, by the way.
JP: Geez, Pavel, you should get in more evil gloating practice. You need to master the fundamentals (as outlined in the James Bond Villain Handbook) before you work your way up to Count Rugen’s “I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard” speech.
Luann: Yeah, how DO you keep doing that, Bets? I mean, “caterpillar” was right there yet you went for a word almost designed to insult your prospective customer. What, was “maggot” too on the nose?
MW: Superhero monikers have a variety of provenances. Some are generic statements of extraordinariness (Superman, Captain Marvel), some are rooted in the character’s unique abilities (The Flash, Storm), and some invoke creatures or figures of mystery, awe, and/or power (Batman, Black Panther). Wilbur, in imagining his ideal superhero persona, is unable to come up with any aspiration or virtue higher than “being Wilbur.” Since he considers this sufficient incentive for women to swoon at his feet, it’s not surprising he finds it ideal superhero branding as well.
RMMD: Rex can barely stir up empathy for his human patients, you think he’s going to care about the dog?
FC-Uh oh! Billy’s got the Plague. Time to put him down.
MW-It’s pretty bad when the characters start tuning out the story they are in.
@The Quiet Man: I recently watched a 1972 teevee movie (The Scarecrow, based on a Nathaniel Hawthorne short story) starring Blythe Danner, Gene Wilder, Norman Lloyd, and Will Geer. 1972 Blythe Danner was WAY prettier than (daughter) Gwyneth Paltrow!
@Activist 1234: Then we get the scene of Wilbur breaking his hand, and Zac and Iris having to drive him to the hospital.
@The Rambling Otter: Definitely an accident, nobody has intentionally hit on William Shatner in decades.
9CL – So, rather than come up with anything new, the author is going to do a nostalgia tour of past storylines, some of them decades old.
It started with the “kids again!” literal infantilizing of the main characters, and now we’re turning it all into one of those sitcom clip shows.
“And we all remember the times where the bully beat up Amos and Edda had to step in and save him! Let’s do a montage!!”
At least FBOFW had the decency to retire first and then shift to reruns.
@johnny lt:
I honestly hate internet misunderstandings.
Years back, Colin Mochrie’s (at the time) son Luke was in a few Youtube movies, collaborations by “at the time” popular internet celebrities.
Colin Mochrie was doing a Q&A on Reddit a while back. I asked him “What did you think of your son Luke in those movies?”
He didn’t respond.
Then a few days later, he put up a Youtube video, calling transphobes out for bullying his daughter.
I don’t follow the Mochries’ personal lives, hell, I don’t even follow the lives of the more famous/successful celebrities.
I didn’t know that she had transitioned! I DIDN’T KNOW!!
H&L:. If Lois’s business is falling, she needs to spring into action and do seasonal marketing. A fresh, summery look with ads showing a departed old man winter would surely blow some house hunters her way.
FUN FW:. Just a nice bit of writing– as a teen, Liz calls her parents mom and dad. But scared when beloved Farley quits breathing, she reverted to “daddy”.
BB: Thanks to seasonal allergies, Sarge can’t breathe through his nose. Now he no longer can breathe through his mouth.
I hope his eustachian tubes are wide open.
@jroggs:
#32. JP:. Speaking of security, wasn’t that Lev we saw the other day? Thought he was supposed to have been killed for winding up bound and gagged in back of Gloria’s car.
Between Friends: Why do the characters in this strip always look like they’re in the middle of a manic episode?
Beetle Bailey: Unfortunately for Beetle and company, that “tape” is actually an alien organism implanting Sarge with it’s eggs, which the platoon will find out when a monsters bursts out of Sarge’s chest and eats General Halftrack’s face during the camp BBQ.
Faster than a speeding tortise!
More powerful than a shot of liquor!
Able to eat an entire jar of mayonnaise in a single sitting!
Look, on the couch! It’s WILBURMAN!
*cue an orchestra consisting of nothing but crying and farting*
@Activist 1234: Pavel has an endless supply of Levs.
Phantom: I was only joking a few days back, but by golly it DOES look like Dad and that dumb dog are watching all this from the shadows while snacking on a bag of popcorn.
@5 nescio: If Lois is holding an Open House, who is looking after Trixie? Trixie’s best friend, Sunbeam.
@The Quiet Man: A few of us have covered those issues a few times as well, and you’re right, they’re still huge problems. The problem there is that there are so many of these cavernous plot holes that all we can do is mention them as they arise and then move on, because if we kept a running daily tally on them we’d be burning out everyone’s mouse wheels. (That said, the timing feels about right for a round-up of the current major questions and problems, so I might do that this week or piggyback on someone else if they want to have a go at it.)
@Activist 1234: You’re thinking of Akim, aka Hairy Lev. (Not to be confused with Lev, aka Bald Akim.) I don’t think this is supposed to be him, partly because he looks a little different but mostly for the reason you mentioned. I am kind of disappointed Lev disappeared from the story, though; he felt like he was going to be much more important. Maybe he’ll turn out to be Helena’s secret contact in Pavel’s crew, because suuuurely Marciuliano won’t forget to pay that off.
As a wise man once said, you can’t spell “Pavel” without Lev.
@Ukulele Ike: Agreed. I looked her up and she also won a number of acting awards. I haven’t seen all that much of her work, but I still remember thinking what an idiot Hawkeye was for backing away when she was his love interest in a M.A.S.H. episode.
@Poteet: Ms Danner also did a series of TV commercials for an osteoporosis treatment a few years ago.
She was also in the film version of the musical 1776. I always thought that she was pretty, in a kind of quirky way.
Mary Worth – What? I’m amazed that Wilbur didn’t go with “Captain Mayo.”
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
@I speak Jive: Quirky is the best pretty! I fell for the Ukulele Lady because she reminded me of Morticia Addams, Carolyn Jones edition. “Mind if I….smoke?”
@ectojazzmage: Because Josh doesn’t post the strips when they’re in their depressive phase.
MW: He has the proportionate strength of himself.
Wilburman’s power is only valid with the help of his sidekick Meddling Madam who constantly reminds everyone of his “endearing quirks” while inserting herself and Wilburman into situations where they don’t belong.
MW: What is going on with Wilburman’s eyes? He looks 100% aroused, like he’s about the fuck a tub of mayonnaise.
Vintage Phantom: “I’m ready for my close up now, Mr. DeMille.”
@Weaselboy: 37: One of my in-laws elderly former neighbors was named Dorothy and her contemporaries, including her sister, called her Dortha, or more often, Dortha Faye.
FC: Dolly should know better than to expose her tail in church.
H and L – Because people don’t have enough money to afford a house after their $1 bill a few years ago is only worth 60 something cents today….think about that……and paying $20 for a Big Mac at McDonalds and $6 a gallon at the pump….if this is the best leadership our country can get, God help all of us!
Blondie – “Some place tasty, but not too blah” makes no sense. It’s like saying “Someplace expensive, but not too cheap.”
MW: Wilbur laments; “Oh, great. What good are steroids if my gonads are the size of raisons.”
@36 ld: If you’re going to brand Luann, make sure the iron’s hot with the “Lazy D” pyroglyph, with “D” standing for “dumbass of the greatest dumbassery.”
@54 Activist 1234: A bevy of skimpily-dressed women and men playing volleyball in the front yard would be a good way to attract attention too, especially if they keep, ahem, “falling out” of their skimpies.
@58 ectojazzmage: on Between Friends: Because the characters in the middle of a manic episode.
@66 I speak Jive: I almost made a mashup with a mayo jar applique on his chest. Maybe tomorrowthread.
@77 BeckoningChasm: Based on what I’ve seen of AI output, it’s quite accurate.
BF: Kim feels she needs to do something memoir-worthy before she writes her memoirs. The recently-passed author of If I Did It might have some suggestions about that, but it’s too late to ask him.
H&L: If Lois is developing into the Shelley “The Machine” Levene of her real estate office, strap in, everybody.
Hi&L: “Why doesn’t anyone want this spinach green and sky blue house? I don’t get it.”
Between Friends – At this point, travel memoirs are about as relevant as travel writing for print. There are already 10K minimum women in their 50s trying to run successful travel influencer accounts.
Beetle Bailey – It’s more strange that both Beetle and Sarge sleep with their hats on.
Hi and Lois – At this point Zillow Gone Wild has to have been taken over by people hoping to get an edge in the tight real estate market by dressing up otherwise normal, bland homes with stargne and wacky interior design. Lois is stuck in the old days, where clean staging and baking cookies are the “hacks” to selling a home, not creating a strange clown interior that gets attention and a story prospective home owners can tell to impress their friends and new neighbors.
C-Shaft: Yeah, if this keeps up Harry might decide that the Westview/Centerville metro area is too smalltime for him, he’ll move to someplace bigger and/or more chic and you’ll never see him again. Clouds, silver linings.
DT: This strip’s setting is vaguely based on Chicago and the marble library lions (Patience and Fortitude) are in New York, so it’s probably the zoo thing. Whoever draws the short straw can stand between those lions.
GA: How boring can a coup d’etat by an aspiring tinhorn dictator get? Let’s find out!
JP: You’d think, though, that April would at least hand her mother over in person, instead of dropping her off on the way to Trader Joe’s. This setup isn’t making any alarm bells go off? You sure? Oh well.
MT: Mark’s compulsion to pun in all occasions goes back four years, following James Allen’s career seppuku. Thus far he hasn’t really gotten good at it.
MW: Wilbur’s wandering mind demonstrates the damage that smartphones have done to the attention spans of men in their fifties. Also that even when pumping himself up into a superhero, the best he can do is one of the more ill-fated Minutemen from Watchmen.
Phantom: Bad Homer impression. You need to yell “Why you little…” before you choke him.
RMMD: Yeah, if only you had thought to put your name on the brownies, and if only dogs could read. If the Morgans wanted a smart son it’s obvious they had to import one.
@84 Artist formerly known as Ben: on The Phantom
Works with Three Stooges Moe as well.
I’m going to dissect this entire concept of Dick Tracy’s “Angel Mouse” book.
So, he’s a mouse who is a cop, who died and became an angel, came back to earth to form a rock band???
Or maybe he was a crooked cop and to become a “proper” angel he has to do good deeds to get into heaven, so this entire in-universe series is basically “Quantum Leap” where this angel possesses people to help make their lives better.
Which includes finding a sucky rock band and making it to the big time.
@Berdj Rassam: NO FUCKING AMERICAN POLITICS IN THE COMIC CURMUDGEON!!!!!
@Ukulele Ike: Ooh! I thought TV Morticia was smokin’ hot, so I understand the appeal.
@I speak Jive: Speaking of fatty food, I just had to say that your reaction to last night’s cuisine was right on. Most of all I agreed with you about the bacon. My first reaction when I saw the photo was repulsion at the bacon softness. If it’s not crispy, I don’t eat it. And come to think of it, the time since my last bacon is at least half a year, partly because most places never cook it crispy enough and I’m too lazy to cook it at home and then do the cleanup.
In Beetle Bailey it doesn’t help that they used black for the “tape” on Sarge’s mouth, so it just looks like he’s gaping his piehole wide open and has also lost his one tooth. Better luck with some kind of pink or flesh-toned thing next time.
CRANKSHAFT: And I thought I hated the LAST Ohioana storyline.
MT: Sorry and sympathies, Utah, but better you than Iowa.
MW: What pupil-affecting drug is Wilburman on? Just curious.
@Sequitur: #85: Bashing someone on the head with a large hand tool is also a Moe thing.
@Poteet: Baking sheet lined with foil, 400 degree oven. Ten minutes, spin 180, then ten minutes more. No more messy cleanup.
Ooops, just made bacon part of your daily diet! Have your cardiologist send me a dollar!
DARK HI AND LOIS DARK HI AND oh come on even the promise of darkness in Hi and Lois cannot get me to suspend enough disbelief to accept that the housing market is slack.
@92 Guillermo el chiclero:
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Curtis: Apologies if this has been mentioned before and I’ve forgotten, but it’s not just that Dear Ol’ Dad is a far less edgy strip than Curtis believes; its portrayal of a “safe” strip that could easily appear in newspapers is pretty specifically a slam at Crankshaft, right? Next week Curtis will be rhapsodising about how only web cartoonists have the freedom to expose the truth about book fairs.
Phantom: Look, I get that DePaul feels the need to convince us that maybe Kit is vaguely competent, but why have three strips in a row (not counting Sunday) showing Devil alert to danger and running to the rescue if there’s no pay-off because Kit is doing fine on his own, thanks?
RMMD: Oh, I’m sorry, yesterday I suggested that Beatty was trying to characterise the Not-Twins by making Blond Kid the logical one and Brunet Kid the emotional one. It turns out that actually Blond Kid is the one who cares even slightly whether their dog lives or dies and Brunet Kid is the self-centred little shit. (I joked yesterday about not being able to remember which of them is adopted, but given the rest of the Morgan family all have hair as black as their souls, it’s pretty obviously the one who isn’t a self-centred little shit. Are we surprised?)
S4th: Wait, why is Sally running in the opposite direction when she worries about squirrels? The garden is in the same place regardless of which animal she imagines is ravaging it.
FC – Fun activity: Keep sneezing, about every 15 seconds, and see how fast the “Bless you”s taper off.
Pluggers – Jerry Hoover? Has the baton been passed to a new generation? Is the tradition of handing down comic strips to your kids so powerful that it even applies to unpaid volunteer contributors?
@Peanut Gallery: I look forward to the wit and wisdom of Rolly Church of Crete, the Younger.
Late Thread Cuisine: A fish turban?
@Baja Gaijin: What that recipe needs is a fish turd ban.
@100 Baja Gaijin:
So, what kind of fish is it? Turbot? Do we have turbot with a turban?
@101 Peanut Gallery: And you haven’t even seen the ingredients! Well-flavored court-bouillon! As opposed to the ass-flavored court-bouillon that you might have used had the recipe not specified the flavorful one.
@102 Sequitur: The fish is hake or halibut. Turbot’d fit the name better. You know, I can see Carnac The Magnificent wearing this as a hat.
@Baja Gaijin: Hake! Oh! Aoh! No more buttered scones for me, Mater, I’m orff to play the grawnd piano!
(Once abundant in the Irish Sea, hake was not found in American waters until the 20th century, and I’ve never seen it in a fish shop over here)
@104 Ukulele Ike: Any guesses on what’s inside the hole?
@Baja Gaijin: (slaps your face)
Oh! You meant the food thing! I beg your pardon!….I’d say seared sea scallops, sections of ripe tomato, and a cheddar Mornay sauce?
@106 Ukulele Ike: Pretty good. Curried scallops, crab or shrimp, or more simply mussels in a lightly curried cream sauce according to the recipe.
@Baja Gaijin: Ugh. Scallops are so sweet and delicate. They wouldn’t stand up to a cheese sauce OR a curry sauce. And mussels only need a little butter!
@108 Ukulele Ike: The main recipe calls for a pinch of cayenne for the pound and a half of fish, four cups of bread crumbs, four eggs and a cup of milk. I doubt the curry sauce in question has enough flavor to overpower a saltine.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s kinda leaky. (minus actual leeks)
Was 60s and 70s NFL quarterback and sometimes actor Roman Gabriel in anyone’s deadpool? He was 83. RIP.
Six Chex In Search Of A Punchline: “…and in the book they didn’t have that freaky eyebrow/nose attachment.”
Mary Worth: It’s a good thing Jerry Siegel was more creative than Karen Moy, or we might today be reading Supermanman comics.
@Ukulele Ike:
@Baja Gaijin: (slaps your face)
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“Mrs.Peacock was a man?!?”
@111 taig: If Joan Embry was on, her guest would take care of any leaks or leeks.
@115 Garrison Skunk: What?
@Garrison Skunk: I should really watch that movie all the way through sometime.
Also, may I have a glass of oloroso and a bit of ripe Stilton?
Dumbing of Age: Oh god, these poor girls are going to be SO SICK in the morning.
Also, in future, Joyce should limit herself to drinking alone, in a dim room. Absinthe is good for that.
https://americanliterature.com/author/wc-morrow/short-story/over-an-absinthe-bottle
@Rube: Thank you, Rube.
@118 Ukulele Ike:
You are so lucky that link had hyphens in it or you would have wrecked phone displays and I’d-a had to shoot ya.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
I have Roman Polanski in my Monday Night League, and someone has Roman Reigns, but no Gabriel.
Roman Gabriel was the losing quarterback in the best NFL game I ever attended – December 27, 1969 when the Vikings came back from a 10-point halftime deficit to win 23-20 in the first round of the playoffs.
Thanks for the news. I’m sorry he died in vain.
@Sequitur: You know, I thought about you as I hit the button to post that.
The edit function has gone wonky over the past few days. Otherwise I would have embedded the link in the word “Absinthe.” (Jeeziz, I haven’t read that story in YEARS. How did Morrow become a “forgotten author?”)
In any case, I’m sincerely glad it didn’t fuck you or anyone else up.
@122 Ukulele Ike:
Hyphens or spaces in a URL will break it up into separate lines and will usually be okay depending where the hyphen or space is. Otherwise, it turns it into one very long word and the phone screen will shrink to accommodate that long, long work on one line.
I know the edit feature sometimes goes wonky but oddly enough it never seems to do that on my phone.
@Sequitur: Here’s hoping J & UL are able to un-wonk it soon. It’s nice to be able to link cool shit without messing with your phone.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Didn’t Viking QB Joe Kapp jump over a Rams defender on a scramble during that game? That’s all I remember.
@TheDiva: @Baja Gaijin:
@115 Garrison Skunk: What?
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A reference to ending “B” of “CLUE -THE MOVIE” (CLUEDO in the UK). Now that that’s explained, I’m going home to sleep with my wife.
@Ukulele Ike: Bwahaha! And thank you!
@Ukulele Ike:
@Garrison Skunk: I should really watch that movie all the way through sometime.
___
There are many “first time watching” videos on YT.
Mary’s Worst: The Greatest American Zero (called it yester-thread, although I had him calling himself Ex-Man.)
@Hibbleton:
Didn’t Viking QB Joe Kapp jump over a Rams defender on a scramble during that game? That’s all I remember.
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Then the quick red Sly Fox jumped over the sleeping dog.
@Garrison Skunk: 130
I thought you went home to sleep with your wife? Per your comment 124?
@Garrison Skunk: A few weeks before that, when the Vikings went into Los Angeles and beat the 10-0 Rams, Kapp hurdled defensive back Richie Petitbon.
Don’t worry, Lois. The private equity firms buying up houses then having them sit empty will pick up this one. They just don’t care about doing open houses or smelling the freshly backed cookies you planted in the oven to try to entice buyers.
I remember when you would say the Archie comic strip was written by a joke machine. Hi and Lois appears to have gotten to the point it actually is written by an ai, except it’s one that was trained on so many mediocre comic strips it thinks mild discomfort and annoyance is in itself a punchline.
Not pictured: Ten years later when the ai evolves and conquers the planet entirely for the purpose of creating maximum humor by making everything we do only slightly more annoying.
For a minute thought John Cougar Mellencamp was the canon name of the catman