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Blondie, 7/18/26

Blondie likes to make extremely on-the-nose jokes about obscure holidays. But they usually show up on the day itself, and National Ice Cream Day falls on a Sunday, of course. Maybe part of the joke is that Dagwood just can’t wait? I mean, look at the way he’s eyeing his wife’s dessert before he’s even finished his own.

Between Friends, 7/18/26

Big news in Between Friends: Maeve is getting married! Again! To her cheating, lying, emotionally manipulative, marginally employed snake of an ex-husband! If second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience, second marriage to this guy is how experience gets its revenge.

Heathcliff, 7/18/26

By car, scooter, elephant, cannon, or [squints] fish-guided bubblegum balloon—a cat’s gotta travel. Bro, man. Bro indeed.

Luann, 7/18/26

After months of agonizing “trying,” Toni Daytona-DeGroot is at last pregnant. “Thank God,” she exclaims, “I can finally stop having sex with Brad.”

Hey there! I’m filling in for Josh through Sunday the 26^th. Reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you have any trouble with the site, your subscription, emails, or Patreon. Enjoy!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Omigosh you guys it’s the very last day of the Comics Curmudgeon Summer Fundraiser! Hurry! Thank you!

Between Friends, 8/15/25

Way back during the dot-com boom I joined a startup with a business model only slightly less speculative than the espresso-martini distillery Susan’s so pumped about. It ended in the predictable way. But at least my decision wasn’t based on the prospect of lounging at home getting hammered on the product (semiconductor futures contracts, how would that even work?).

Flash Gordon, 8/15/25

I am mildly claustrophobic, and if somebody came along and freed me from days of imprisonment in a tight steel helmet I would probably react pretty much the way enslaved factory worker Edda does here. Don’t judge me!

Breaking Cat News, 8/15/25

I read Breaking Cat News every day. In my defense, sometimes a fella just needs a break between Luann and Crankshaft, you know? Usually it’s just cats reporting on news of significance to cats: Lupin is stuck in a drawer, There’s a cricket somewhere in the apartment, Breakfast is MISSING, that sort of thing.

But boy, things have sure taken a dark turn. The Woman is fostering bunny Miss Elizabeth while the Quinn Animal Shelter rebuilds after storm damage. Elizabeth may or may not (rabbit genealogies are complex) be descended from a colony of rabbits freed from Grimtech Labs in a daring rescue a while back. The experimental history of those now-feral rabbits left them with glowing red eyes, lunar cycle entrainment, and other signs of metamorphosis; the cats’ consensus is zombification. The Zombie Bunnies returned at full moon, claimed not to know Miss Elizabeth (but then rabbit genealogies are complex), gnomically announced “time is running out,” and disappeared. In other news, “zombie” is apparently an acceptable term, but “witch” is not. Supernatural etiquette is hard!

Pajama Diaries, 8/15/25

OK look I realize now that’s a trademark symbol but it sure looked like an apostrophe at first and I thought this strip was heading in an entirely different direction, GPS or no. Apologies!

Herb and Jamaal, 8/15/25

Reverend Croom apparently thinks Jeffrey Epstein should have been released and his files published so an angry mob would tear him limb from limb. New Testament words; Old Testament justice.

Mary Worth, 8/15/25

Olive’s Mean Girl classmates shun and bully her because of her oh-so-special precognitive gifts. So her saving a drowning classmate precisely because of those gifts would make for a taut, satisfying resolution to their conflict. But this is Mary Worth, so the special gifts in play here are “looks at stuff” and “took swimming lessons.”

Just a reminder that there are no Comments of the Week on my watch, so Tabby Lavalamp’s tart Neddy Spencer put-down gets to ride up there another week. Hooray!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/21/25

You all know that “fire hydrants are like toilets, to a dog” is one of my pet peeves, but I frankly find it a million times less objectionable than I do “toilet water is like alcohol, to a dog, in that, among other things, it reduces their inhibitions and makes them more sexually aggressive.” People know the water in a toilet is just regular water, right? What do they think is in there to make Grimm here drunk? Is it piss? Do they think you can get drunk by drinking piss?

Intelligent Life, 7/21/25

Love to go to the movies with my pal, ask “So what did you think of [full movie title, including the colon]” as the credits roll, and then listen to him give some half-baked rambling metaphor that’s about box office numbers or maybe media coverage. That’s what the beautiful art of film is all about, to me!

Between Friends, 7/21/25

You know the old saying: “Show, don’t tell. And if you can’t show, tell in the form of showing a conversation between two people about the thing you’re trying to show. And if you can’t do that, show one of the two people summarizing the conversation in thought balloons as they’re having it.”

Family Circus, 7/21/25

“So how come you’re still talking instead of shutting up, dumbass?” –Sam, probably