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Family Circus, 6/21/24

Lord, I am a simple man, and one of my favorite Family Circus bits is when Jeffy just says some of the dumbest shit imaginable. Today’s dumb shit is particularly fun for me because it’s actually two different kinds of dumb shit that are a little bit in tension with one another. Because on the one hand, do you think other animals have to buy clothes? Maybe you think they should, but they clearly don’t. And second, you know that the turtle isn’t in his shell, but, biologically speaking, he is his shell, right? It’s part of his body; there’s not some naked little shell-less turtle inside of it. Like, imagine a scenario where a turtle ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and his eyes were opened, and he realized that he’s naked. He’s going to have to make or buy clothes for himself! His shell doesn’t count! He’s going to have to pull his clothes over his shell, and how stupid is that going to look?

Hagar the Horrible, 6/21/24

Oh, my friend! That raise was never yours! In this economic arrangement Hagar, the owner of the boat, is capital, and you are labor. You receive the prevailing wage as your salary, and Hagar appropriates the surplus value generated by your efforts for his own uses. Don’t let misogyny blind you to the economic realities of your situation! Your choices are submission, entrepreneurship, or revolution!