Thursday is for phones
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Dick Tracy, 10/17/24
One of the subtler conundrums created by the “comic-book time” phenomenon is the question of how the characters themselves experience it. Like, is Dick Tracy a guy in his late 40s or early 50s who’s been battling weird deformed gangsters for a couple decades? Or did he, like the comic that bears his name, come into existence in 1938, meaning that he’s been at this longer than most of us have been alive, and he’s tired, so tired, of these weirdos’ whole deal? His attitude in today’s strip really suggests the latter. “Oh, what’s that, is there a new hitman in town? A real freak with a mirror for a face who calls himself Mr. Mirror? Should I get excited? Scared? Should I even bother pulling my gun out of my pocket? No, go ahead and answer that call, I can wait.”
Dennis the Menace, 10/17/24
There’s a lot that bugs me about the characterization of Margaret in Dennis the Menace, but a big one is that they need to decide which misogynist stereotype she is exactly. Is she a prissy, humorless, controlling know-it-all and shrew? Or is she empty-headed, vapid, and vain? I feel she veers wildly from lane to lane and they need to pick one.
Hi and Lois, 10/17/24
Ha ha, yes, the teens! The teens are the ones with the phone problem! Definitely not me, a 50-year-old man, or adults younger than me, or adults older than me! None of us have unhealthy relationships with our devices, and definitely social gatherings of mature adults feature exactly as much staring at small screens with varying degrees of surreptitiousness as they did 15 years ago! It’s the teens, I tell ya, the teens!
79 replies to “Thursday is for phones”
Mary Worth: Why all the hate on this storyline? I love it–lotsa kitty and doggie, zero Wilbur Weston.
RMMD: “His name should have been my first clue: Declan, like De-Clan, as in break up the family.”
Dennis: Today’s strip written by Jeffy of “Family Circus” fame.
Archie-A few hours later cut to a disappointed Betty and Veronica. “Archie came,” they said.
FC-“What’s this spread that they got to beat or Daddy gets beaten?”
MW-Seeing as how you have created such a scene in the vet’s office and haven’t been back in days I’m surprised Ed hasn’t fired you yet.
DT – Pizza Hut called – they want their pan back….
DtM – Hey – who’s the center of attention in this strip, anyway….
H&L – Oh, he’s nothing like you Chip. His arms were too short for a selfie…and too jack off all day….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
H and L:
“Did they find its phone?”
“I dunno.”
“Ida Noe?!? — Mom, do you have a Gasoline Alley fixation?”
DT: I see that Dick Tracy is celebrating the Halloween season by having its latest storyline take place entirely within a giant pumpkin.
DtM: I’m always impressed with how this strip manages to keep its 60s suburban aesthetic into the modern day. Like sure, Margaret has a phone, but it looks like a spare piece off a Kodak Super 8.
H&L: “Did they find it’s phone? I like this one? This is a phone! I know what a phone looks like!”
DtM: A confused Joey thinks; “Wait. Is ‘taking a selfish’ another phrase for going number 2? There’s so much to learn. Speaking of which,” “Hey, Dennis;” he shouts. “Pull over by that bush.”
Brewster Rockit : Wanting to turn people into werewolves or Eclipsos isn’t THAT “dark”, especially considering that we’re in October, and spooky stuff like that is considered “being festive”.
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Dick Tracy : Is the “Minit ‘Mystery’ ” going to be “How did Dick Tracy know The Mirror’s phone would ring just then, distracting him?” Because the answer is “Dick Tracy is the one who called him. He knew the number because it’s the victim’s second, older, backup phone, which The Mirror Stole”.
**********
On the Fastrack : Alternate punchline, right in panel 1 :
“I’M THE GHOST OF DETHANY!”
“You’ll be the ghost of Dethany’s employment here if you don’t take that sheet off RIGHT NOW”
DT:
“To be honest, I was hoping to draw this out a little. Enjoy our — well, actually, come to think of it, by my even engaging in this snippet of conversation, I’m drawing things out a little as it is. You know the all-too-familiar trope, Mr. Tracy: the bad guy inexplicably extends the encounter instead of taking care of business immediately, which gives the hero the few precious seconds he needs to implement some kind of evasive maneuver or foil the planned activity. In fact, that’s exactly what’s going to happen in tomorrow’s strip!”
@Liam: MW-Seeing as how you have created such a scene in the vet’s office and haven’t been back in days I’m surprised Ed hasn’t fired you yet.
__________________________________________
Technically, she was never really hired. She was a volunteer.
DtM:
“Joey, Margaret’s going to be an anthropologist when she grows up who lives among the indigenous peoples. You can tell by the unflattering eyeglass wear she’s sporting now, which will carry over into adulthood!”
H and L:
“T Rex, huh? — apropos of which, Mom, when you and Dad were dating, was Dad always, like, a Jeepster for your love?”
MW: Mary watches through the two-way mirror she installed in Stell’s neighboring apartment. “Operation ‘Mind Fuck’ is coming along smoothly;” she thinks. “Now let’s check in on Wilbur…..Oh, you naughty boy. Heh, heh.”
@Bob Tice:
More like: “Get it on, bang a dog, get it on” which my friend in high school insisted were the lyrics.
I didn’t think I had a least favourite type of Dennis the Menace, but I’ve just discovered do, and it’s when the kids are ignorant about something any actual child obsesses over. Dennis doesn’t know the word “selfie”? What, is he the world’s cutsiest, darnedest little 85-year-old?
H and L: For some reason, I thought of juvenile detention when I read that first panel. Then I saw Chip in the second panel and it all made sense.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Yvonne’s already thrown her panties on the stage, hasn’t she?
JP: Remember when Ronnie was first introduced and dished out plenty of badly-needed reality checks while resigning herself to the role of Neddy’s cranky sidekick? In fact, remember how she was doing that earlier in this very story? Well, now Ronnie’s just enthusiastically enabling all of Neddy’s worst behaviors. Neddy shouldn’t blame herself for being superficial and self-obsessed to the point of total absurdity! Declan lied about one thing – maybe – so everything is all his fault, including how Neddy has made no effort to learn anything substantive about the handsome penis she’s been dating for more than two years.
MW: At least Estelle knows where to correctly pin the blame for her problems. But now she’s alone again, and it will be hard to patch things up with Ed given that it’s now been several days without any contact since she broke up with him. Or maybe it’s been a few months. Or possibly an hour and a half. Seriously, no idea.
CS: Remember how Ed Crankshaft is an avid gardener and the hivemind of protagonists in this universe is deeply concerned about “climate damage?” Well, this story isn’t about either of those things and thus neither is on Tom Batiuk’s mind, so here’s a “joke” about Crankshaft blowing all of his mulchable leaves across the street onto a neighbor’s property like a total asshole. In a few months he will order his annual delivery of gardening mulch from Bean’s End, where it will be produced in a pollution-spewing factory and shipped in carbon dioxide-emitting trucks, with absolutely zero self awareness. Stellar comedy and topical commentary as always, Tom.
Shoe: “Jimmy Hoffa,” well, there’s a timely reference. I believe I actually see where they whited out ‘Judge Crater.’
DtM: Margaret is a bluestocking with cheerleader aspirations. Add to that her undying crush on Dennis, and that is one mixed-up young lady.
RMMD: Yvonne is finally (finally!) satisfied with a Mud Murphy performance. She stretches her smile muscles as far as they’ll go.
MW: Can’t wait for the back story that spawned Ed’s workaholism. Maybe he ran over a dog en route to a soiree. Whose trauma will triumph?
@jroggs:
On Crankshaft : OH HE’S BLOWING THE LEAVES ONTO A NEIGHBOR’S YARD. I thought he was blowing the leaves onto the street in front of his home, then blowing them back into his yard. I should have known this was “Crankshaft is an asshole” rather than “Crankshaft is an idiot”.
DT: “Avarice! I told you not to call me at the office… yes, yes, okay, but can you get AAA for a tow….fine, I’ll call Uber!”
DT2: looks at phone “It’s that damn spam from that Ohio number again. I don’t want any Batman comics!”
CS: And cue the car speeding down the road driven by a faceless book banner seeking revenge…. pretty please?
MW: Someone’s been listening to Taylor Swift’s ‘Antihero’…
@Baja Gaijin: Don’t count your chickens. We’re still in what’s probably the middle of this storyline, with Eshtelle now alone and vulnerable. He could turn up tomorrow with his Bag O’ BBQ for all I know…
Dennis: Margaret is taking a selfie with a 1963 Kodak Instamatic camera.
DT: Right, so here’s the whole thing laid out. Bro 1 thought his brother Bro 2 was sleeping with his wife Smelly Wife, so Bro 1 set up Bro 2 to be murdered by Mirrorface at his office, coordinated with a burner phone. But Bro 1 had a change of heart and went to the office to get the burner phone to call off the hit, but was mistaken by Mirrorface and shot. As Dick and the gang investigated Bro 1’s death, Bro 2 and Smelly Wife arrived to exposit, and then Mirrorface showed up and opened fire on Bro 2 to finish the job he screwed up. Dick gave chase, but Mirrorface got the drop on him in the sewers and forced him to drop his gun. However, Dick has the burner phone and he’s using it to call Mirrorface and distract him, which will allow Dick to surprise and overpower Mirrorface tomorrow and then smugly reveal the details of the plot.
Problem is, this entire plot relies on a mountain of nonsense and contrivances and outright cheating to transpire as it did. Seriously, we’re talking damn near the entire past week and a half here.
Why did Jay (Bro 1) suddenly have a change of heart? Why didn’t he just call Marcus (Bro 2) himself and come up with some pretense to help him evade Mirrorface? Why did Jay leave the burner phone, which he needed to stay in contact with Mirrorface in any eventuality, at the intended murder scene where it would be discovered and used as evidence against him? Why did he use his primary cell phone as a light instead of just turning on the room lights? Why did he open the camera feature instead of using his phone’s flashlight? Why did he go to the murder location at the scheduled murder time without using even a shred of caution? Why didn’t Jay react to the loud jingling of the entrance door when Mirrorface arrived? How did Mirrorface make his way from the entrance door off to the side around to the far opposite side of the desks across from Jay without Jay reacting until it was too late? Why did Mirrorface bother going over past the desks at all? Why did Mirrorface shoot Jay without identifying him, despite presumably knowing his client had a similar-looking brother? Why did the picture capture only his reflection when given the distance he absolutely should have photographed far more than just the tiny surface of the face mirror? Why was Mirrorface pleased at the photo Jay took, but didn’t notice his mistake in who he killed? Why does Mirrorface, working in an illegal profession that requires stealth and discretion, have a goddamned mirror for a face? This list of questions, which is far from comprehensive, is all just from the first day of this story.
I’m just going to speedrun the rest of this story, as we don’t have all day. Why was the crime called in as a “possible homicide” when the victim was already identified and it clearly wasn’t a suicide or natural death? Why does Dick think a mirror selfie isn’t a selfie? Why did Dick taint the crime scene by switching Jay’s phones between hands? Why did the cops allow two civilians (both major suspects) to wander and taint the crime scene? Why did Officer Delcher bag the burner phone for evidence and then randomly give it to Dick to leave with instead of keeping it with the rest of the evidence? How did Mirrorface belatedly realize his assassination mistake? Why did he return at great risk immediately to the scene of the crime to finish the job when his client was already dead? Why didn’t he come back another time when his target wasn’t flanked by a bunch of cops? Why did none of the other cops help Dick pursue Mirrorface? Why did Dick go into the manhole alone when it made him so ridiculously vulnerable? How has Dick survived this long being this suicidally idiotic at chasing armed criminals? Does Dick just not want to be alive anymore? And does Mirrorface just not care about escaping or surviving either? Why is he talking to Dick at all instead of killing him or knocking him out? Why is he apologizing for his foolish unprofessional mistakes when doing this is just compounding his foolish unprofessional mistakes? Why does every Dick Tracy writer think that utterly stupid self-defeating villains are so interesting? Why does Dick think that “Mr. Mirror” is a “fancy name?” Why is Mirrorface letting Dick blatantly put his hand in his pocket? How is Dick blindly manipulating the unfamiliar burner phone inside a sealed plastic bag to access Mirrorface’s number and call it? How is he going to trudge through ten feet of calf-deep sewer water and various filth faster than Mirrorface can squeeze his trigger finger? Why doesn’t Mirrorface have his phone on silent? Why would he let his phone distract him this badly? Why does he have a goddamned mirror for a face?
…You know what’s really sad? This is still probably one of the least awful Minit Mysteries we’ve seen in the last several years. At least this Matthew K. Manning fellow attempted a slightly complex mystery and completely screwed everything up, unlike previous guest writers who attempted childishly simple mysteries and completely screwed everything up.
DtM: And what’s with the slip/bloomers? Is that a normal thing these days?
@Anonymous: To be fair, it could always be both.
MW: Gilbert O’Sullivan and Taylor Swift in the same strip? Moy’s Spotify playlist is starting to take shape…
Dick Tracy: “No, no, take your time. I’ll be doing double lines of coke off your dead face soon enough.”
MW: And the brainwashing is complete. Now Mary can proceed to Phase II.
JP: Ronnie is trying to pull a reverse Mary and assign blame where it properly belongs. Another round of fluffy muffins, please.
CS: Ha ha, that lovable rapscallion is pulling a joke on his neighbors across the street! Next, their mailbox.
FC: Actually, they don’t always run into the pile. Stay in your lane, Dolly. But that is a pretty spiffy TV set you have there.
@Baja Gaijin: Because the story is Estelle basically being gaslighted. Or is “the complainer is always wrong” at best. Estelle has a good reason to be hurt and angry that Ed blew her off for dog surgery he wasn’t obligated to handle. It reeks of avoidance. She needs to learn how to articulate her feelings better (which she should know by her age), but ditto for Ed.
This happens when the author has chosen the path they want the story to go down, in defiance of their own story points. Many poorly-written serial drama strips are like this.
MW: so we go from Gilbert O’Sullivan in panel one to Taylor Swift in panel two with more dog and cat dialogue. Just a really, really jarring strip today for what’s essentially a placeholder. Stell maybe singing into a hairbrush in the mirror? Been there I guess
However I genuinely liked the art in panel one.
I’ve been seeing Lois’ face for decades upon decades, but never focused on that weird lump that distends it sideways in the mouth region. Is it a tumor? Or does she pack away some food there, like a hamster?
H&L: Ha ha, he thinks dinosaurs had phones! What an imbecile! Ha ha!
GT: “Editor’s note: Read 1/15/2024 to catch up because I certainly can’t be bothered with providing a coherent story line.” [Reader’s note: Exactly no one is going to read 1/15/2024 to catch up because exactly no one gives a crap.]
Dick Tracy: How fiendishly clever is that? Strap a mirror to your face and anyone who wants to shoot you or arrest is, at most extreme, “All right, come peacefully, me–I mean you–wait a minute. . .” and at the very least they’ll hesitate for an uncomfortable “I can’t shoot this guy, there’s something I like about him” moment.
Dick Tracy – One good thing about being a Dick Tracy writer today is that if you need ideas for hit man gimmicks you can just scroll Amazon for ideas.
Dennis the Menace – I hope Margaret has the type of phone that can easily remove annoying photobombers from the background
Hi and Lois – “Can we combine two half-ass jokes and create one whole ass premise?” – Walker – Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC
The answer is no, you have one forced pun and a lazy “kids and their phones” joke.
I’m going over to read Zits instead.
@Cleveland Mocks: Also, YEET
MW – As Estelle realizes that her concern about Ed’s overwork is “narcissism disguised as altruism”(Swift, Taylor. “Anti Hero,” Midnights. Republic Records, 2022), an army of lawyers swarms Karen Moy’s home over the unattributed use of a lyric as a punchline.
DICK TRACY: Um…rude, Josh! Have you ever considered that the phenomenon is very much the opposite; that, much like Mae West suggested, Dick is just very very happy to see Mirror Face or whatever he’s called? And Mirror Hitman, chill. Dick’s been trying to show you how “impressed” he is for three panels now.
It looks like Mr. Wilson got the ultimate revenge on Dennis for all that menacing, turning the kid into a Boomer. Might as well call your parents from a land line and tell them you’re coming home and will need a newspaper to read so please leave some room on the fridge for you to cut out and stick a Pluggers.
***
Never mind, Hi and Lois, you can go back to not bothering with jokes.
Pluggers – Pluggerism is contagious? Even mattresses can catch it! We as a species are doomed!!!!!!
DT: “Hang on, I’ve gotta take this….probably the bullet delivery guy.”
Blondie: How about bacon that looks like a donut?
Phantom: Has she been inside that thing the whole time?
@Schroduck:
A lot of lazy cartoonists don’t know the difference between “Kids say the darndest things” and “The rantings of an aging and increasingly irrelevant cartoonist”. Frazz is one of the worst offenders at putting adult issues and complaints into the mouths of child characters where it makes no sense
How about a donut that looks like a taco?
@Hibbleton:
I can’t tell if he’s saying Hoffa is buried under that mess, or using the euphemism for “Your fired!” with a vague threat of violence and being buried with the former labor leader in an undisclosed location.
I feel like Margaret should be correct in an insufferable way, like “reminding the teacher they forgot to assign homework,” not correct in a wholly relatable way, like “knowing that nobody wants to see a photo of Joey.”
@Hibbleton: #20:
“whited out Judge Crater”
That or Amelia Earhart.
DtM — Dennis is upset that a girl is taking a picture of herself with her phone instead of taking a picture of him. Menace level: Patriarchal!
DT — Mr. Mirror is letting clues as to his identity slip. No one over the age of thirty would ever consider answering an actual phone call. . .
DENNIS THE MENACE/HI & LOIS: Actually Dennis’s malapropism makes a kind of sense when you consider the clever way Josh arranged today’s entries. Dennis and his friends are “dinosaurs” in a metaphorical fashion, so it’s no surprise that far into the future, Chip Flagston is wondering if archeologist discovered the “phone” the “teen Rex” had (Get it, everyone? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?)
DtM: I thought Margaret was doing duck face, at about the time in real life the writers would discover it, but it wouldn’t occur without a laborious “joke” being made.
How can Dennis accuse Margaret of being obsessed with social media when his own strip adopted a Polaroid frame to maximise shareability on Instagram?!
GIL THORP: Er…is it really a good idea to remind the readership that you haven’t followed up on a story for 10 months?
GIL THORP (2): Dang, you know you’re dealing with “troublemakers”, when they unleash such tough-guy talk like “leave us be.” Hahaha, you guys should be scared of these “bad boys”! Yeet!
CS: so we’re back to Ed Crankshaft is an asshole. I suppose that’s better than Batiuk is a smug dipshit
A&J: doesanyoneknowwhereArlo. And Janis live? And are the young folks south or do they live up in the Main area?
H&L – I’d make a joke about a crusty tube sock, or lotion and tissues, but sadly, there’s no way Teen Rex could have made use of those items with his short, short arms.
DT – “Mr. Mirror” is a fancy name, says the policeman whose partner is named “Sam Catchem”?
Dustin: Didn’t Dustin used to live above the garage with his grandfather? Whatever happened to Dustin’s grandfather? Do you think someone should go check on him? Wait, what’s under that pile of laundry?
Don Abundio, translated:
“I think your tree broke its branch in a fight with another tree”
“It’s a juvenile delinquent tree with tattoos and everything”
“Oh! Poor misguided youth!”
[On bag: EXPERTO DI ARBOLES]
[On tree: BORN TO BE WILD]
@Professor Well Actually: The young folks are right on the coast. A&J are further inland.
DtM – I wish Margaret had done a traditional selfie and pursed her lips. I’d be interested to see how Dennis would mispronounce “duckface.”
H&L: “They actually did find his phone, and his I.D, and it says… Robbie Sinclair?”
@Professor Well Actually: @richardf8: For years I thought A&J lived in New England, and the kids were on the Atlantic coast. But several months ago someone here stated they were in the Deep South, and the kids were on the Gulf coast. I’m fine with that, though none of them show any stereotypical Deep South characteristics (banjo-picking; aversion to shoe-wearing; incest). Or New England, either (racism).
You could make a case for A&J being in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, with the coast on Lake Michigan. Do they ever eat bratwurst or brick cheese?
(The hurricane musings this week lend credence to the southern theory)
DtM- well it looks like of all the “kid related comics” we still haven’t got a winner in the “who will mention ‘Skibbidy Toilet’ first?” Sweepstakes.
Not holding out hopes for Family Circus either.
Would you do Karen Moy?
1) yes
2) no
Discuss.
@Baja Gaijin: #1
Yes!!! the more “Woofs” and “Meows” the better!!
HotC – and at my age, it’s menopause.
@Ukulele Ike:
I always assumed that they were in Alabama or Mississippi: Jimmy Johnson lives in Pass Christian Mississippi, and post-Katrina apparently developed something of a hurricane fixation.
@Uncle Lumpy: #67: Glad I looked up your link. Until then I assumed you were referring to Jimmy Johnson the former NFL coach.
REX MORGAN M.D.: We know this time is better than their honeymoon cruise because it looks like Mr. and Mrs. Hardwood finally had their first post-nuptial orgasm.
@Baja Gaijin:
Just then, Wilbur joins the animals.
“Meow!”
“Woof!”
“Burrrrrp!”
GA (first panel): FYI, you genetic abomination (No, not you, Ida Noe – you’re the LEAST creepy of the group), he was about two decades before my time… but apparently acting like DC Comics’ Snapper Carr didn’t even work for Snapper. You dig, daddy-o?… Or whatever slang the writers thought teens used back then?
A&J: one of the reasons I thought the kids live on the Atlantic but in New England is vague memories of references to a clam shack. That memory is likely inaccurate.
@Toys for Twats: Yes. But would she do the same to you? That’s what you have to ask yourself.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I figured he was talking about the clergyman, Harlem renaissance poet, and 1920s head of NAACP James Weldon Johnson. Or the stride jazz pianist James P. Johnson. I just can’t keep my Johnson under control.
Maybe we’re judging Dick Tracy’s Mirror Man plot prematurely, if MM is based on the DC character there’s a chance the Kryptonian villains of Superman II come blasting out of his mirrors when Dick inevitably opens fire.
@24 The Quiet Man: Live for the day, Man, live for the day.
@32 Banana Jr. 6000: Libby’s so cute with her little furry ears. Pierre’s attention to Estelle’s blathering is endearing too.
Mary Worth – Stell, sweetheart, this is Mary Worth. It’s never the man’s fault when a relationship goes bad. It’s always the woman’s responsibility to overlook her partner’s endearing quirks. Get with the program.
Crankshaft – Crankshaft is an asshole, but he’s against book burning. And he can now recognize his name on a list, although it’s too late to do any good.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I don’t know a lot about sports, but I remember that he had helmet hair.
@65 Daisy: Yes!
@70 Cleveland Mocks: NO!