Is blogging cringe? We investigate
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Mary Worth, 12/8/24
Hello, fellow young people! Like me (a young person), you have no doubt been using the word “cringe” in its relatively new slang sense, as either an adjective meaning something embarrassing or awkward, or as a noun to denote something that inspires the feeling described by the adjective. This is a use of the word that we young people like to deploy on social media sites such as TikTok and [what are the other ones? Is TikTok still what young people like? double-check this].
Sadly, however, we’re all going to have to stop using the word that way, because Wilbur Weston just did, in the comic strip Mary Worth! Ironically, this act itself is incredibly cringe. That’s the last time I’ll use that word in that way; now, as a young person, I will be moving on to new forms of slang that are inscrutable to the many, many people who are older than me.
Pardon My Planet, 12/8/24
Hello, fellow young people! Are you familiar with the hot new musical film Wicked? Fun fact: it’s actually a prequel to another film, The Wizard of Oz, and this syndicated newspaper cartoon is a joke about the characters from that older movie! You’d think it’d be more direct to just do a joke about Wicked, the movie that’s currently popular, but that would require some research to determine what exactly its characters look like, and that sort of effort simply isn’t part of the Pardon My Planet game plan.
Daddy Daze, 12/8/24
Good news, everyone! The Daddy Daze daddy is dead. The Daddy Daze baby captured and killed him. Now, does this mean the Daddy Daze baby will soon himself die, from neglect? Unclear. He’s a baby, so normally I’d say yes, but he managed to capture and kill his father, so he has powers and capabilities beyond those of ordinary babies.
Hagar the Horrible, 12/8/24
Hey guys, if you’re so scared, why don’t you attack the castle during the day? Idiots.
162 replies to “Is blogging cringe? We investigate”
PmP: Yes, but the zombie joke is pretty good (I chuckled) AND doesn’t run the risk of you getting attacked by online legions of Wicked fans offended that you made a joke about it.
HtH: In addition to the loot from the castle, Hagar is determined to have Dracula as a servant in Valhalla, and believes killing him while he is asleep will cause it not to count.
Slylock Fox-Slylock noticed Cassandra has no vpl.
MW-In Mexico Wilbur will be kidnapped by a drug cartel who will pay to have Wilbur taken away.
FC-Talking very loud to Santa is very good especially if he’s hungover.
HtH: I thought the same thing about attacking in daylight but then thought well maybe they’re Vikings and they’re so far north the sun doesn’t rise during winter but shouldn’t it be freezing cold and snowing and frost coming out of their mouths and other hardships associated with winter but realized I’ve already thought about this way more than the cartoonist. Maybe I’ll make pizza for dinner.
MW: To Wilbur, does “cringe moment” mean, “Oy, I cringe every time I think about that,” or “When I was out today, everyone cringed when they saw me coming?”
Likely both, Wilbur being the dynamite multi-tasker that he is.
RMMD: So, no One-Bite Rule in Glenwood. This bodes well for Rex, as at least one unpleasant patient is likely to take a snap at him today.
MW:
Sporting a game face, Dawn nevertheless tries to push Wilbur away from her to distance herself from the emotional closeness he’s feigning, but finds that it’s like trying to push a piano.
HtH:
“Pizza with lutefisk! Yes!”
DtM: A little predictable, don’t you think? Next time you run this gag try a different punchline, perhaps; “Especially when I stand outside my parents’ bedroom door.” —Ed. North American Syndicate
PmP:
“Jack, take that costume off! — the aluminum dust will make you sick!”
“Thanks, Ray! — or is that you, Buddy?”
Too many cringe memories. Like the time Mary talked me down from suicide? Pretty sus, y’all!
MW – One way to get the most out of life is to eat plenty of fiber.
Plugger Folk Wisdom
PMP – The end of the WoO doesn’t hold up where the Professor gives the Scarecrow a diploma. Far too common for the brainless to achieve one these days….
DD – Ba-ba-ba – bomb-bomb (fill in the blank)….
Hth – A big stash…of what….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: While Wilbur prepares for his trip, Mary prepares herself for her own assignment: breaking down Dawn and remolding her into a new perfect being. It’s intense work and Mary cannot abide any distractions, which is why she’s switched to an all-kale diet to purge herself of toxins and earthly desires.
PmP: Fun fact: the trope of zombies staggering about yelling for brains is in fact from Return of the Living Dead, a horror comedy spoofing zombie flics. Which means that you are parodying a parody, Pardon my Planet! Stay right there, I’m on the phone with the comedy police right now.
HtH: Yeah, when I order pizza, I always get extra garlic on it, because that is definitely a pizza topping! “Extra garlic and oregano, hold the salt” is my favorite human pizza configuration.
D. Daze: You were right, John. A toddler playing with a noose is more acceptable than a live hand grenade. —Ed. King Features, Synd.
MW: am I to believe Wilbur never mentioned this trip to Dawn until the morning he was leaving? Is Wilbur a thoughtless asshole?
RMMD: this cop isn’t exactly Sherlock Holmes. He has a stabbed man and a stabber who was bitten by the man’s dog. Duh
@pugfuggly: HtH: I don’t think it’s garlic breath that deters vampires. I believe it’s garlic cloves. However, that’s not my lifestyle so I’m not sure.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
Hi and Lois: What kind of school has their students doing a stage play of Charlottes’s Web in December? Also is that the cast of The Simpsons? Batman? and Popeye in the audience? Trying to figure out what the thing with the antenna growing out of its head is supposed to be.
Beetle Bailey: Of course you’re freezing, it’s the middle of December!
Slylock Fox: If those creatures are supposed to be clones as the name suggests than why are they apparently stitched together? Also thanks for suggesting some creative insults for kids to start calling their overweight peers.
GA:. The stranger lied. His name is not Ben but Will. What Jordan Will Be if he ever gets off his imaginative Mars.
FRAZZ:. Now THIS is a school I’d teach in.
FBoFW:. Thoughtful gift, Shannon. It only needs to be in freezer 16 days!
FG:. Same story but from Jugrids view. Is he prepared for both diplomacy and war?
@Activist:
#17. Oops, the FBoFW comment actually is about LUANN. My fault, I’m on instant decaf. (Got myself new coffeemaker to open Christmas)
I’m sure Dawnie will be just fine. Maybe she can use the time alone to practice drinking from a can of soda!
DT: “Answer carefully, Mabuse — if that’s your real name?”
”You got me, copper. Call me “Rotwang.”
Dustin: He thinks the reason people make fun of him is because of his weight and not all his other problems? Also I like the title panel that shows all the other members of the family being productive while Dustin just sits in his underwear and eats cereal like a dumbass.
MW:
“The words my editor left me with were highly motivating and energizing, Dawn.”
“What did your editor say, exactly, Dad?”
” ‘Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. ‘ “
Pardon My Planet is taking a joke that was corny when I saw it on Cartoon Network 25 years ago and holding space for it and really finding power in it.
MW: “I spoke to Mary and she agreed to sub for me-” “Jesus, Dad! I don’t need to hear this!” “…On my advice column.” “…Oh.”
DD: Sure, Paul, just go ahead and walk past your pre-verbal infant while he’s wrapping what is functionally a noose around his neck. What’s the worst that could happen, he’ll use it like a silly lasso? This moment definitely isn’t going to be something you remember for the rest of your grief-filled life.
Luann: Daddy Daze Paul may be an absolutely terrible parenting figure, but as long as Luann is being published, he’ll never be the worst.
RMMD: Every time I try to write a funny comment about this, I end up backspacing it. This is just too insultingly stupid.
JP: Never mind that everyone in the Parker-Spencer-Driver family group has their own first-hand experience with living in hiding and aiding people on the lam. Does April seriously that think she did a particularly good job as a fugitive? That she’s the one with the most useful knowledge and wisdom to pass on? “Okay, Ann, the first thing we need to do is teach you some grappling martial arts and get you pregnant. With the right training partner and some efficient multi-tasking, we can get both done at the same time. No, no, don’t worry finding a narcissistic screenwriter, that doesn’t come for another four or five years.”
Frazz: I’d challenge that. Hemingway spent a lot of time in Key West and Cuba. I’d bet if you took a tissue sample, lab tests would show his chemical makeup was mostly rum.
DT, again: The writers have some nerve including one of their Nu-Wave villains along with all those classics. Blackjack is totally two dimensional; his only quirk is having his henchmen play that annoying 1990s Chumbwamba song while they rob banks.
Back in the day, Chester Gould created fully formed characters! Flattop had a flat head. Pruneface had a face like a prune. Brow had a big brow. Shakey shook.
JP: “You just told the one person who knows about being a fugitive! First thing — they don’t let you pee until after midnight, so drinking beer all afternoon is a big no-no.”
Phantom: Is anybody else hating on this history lesson as much as I am? I want to go back to action-packed weekday Kit having a beer in the pub and waiting for the teevee personality to show up while the boniface leers at his wife.
WORKPLACE FAUX PAS
S4th:. Don’t try what you haven’t practiced. (Or get Ronan)
6CHX:. And don’t apply for generalist jobs unless you’re specialized.
TG:. Don’t kid with frustrated cops, Tina. I’m speaking from lethal experience. (Not a joke)
First we learn that Mary Worth is always watching Dawn. Now we learn that she will invite Dawn to dinner when Wilbur is gone. Is there anything Mary needs to tell her beau about why she’s so reluctant to commit to him?
RMMD: On his way to the hospital, Merle thinks, “Man, could this day get any worse?” Then he arrives at the hospital to find that Rex has got ER duty today.
H&L: The big shots like Popeye, Hagar, Homer, and Batman get the front-row seats while the lame-ass characters get shunted to the last row.
MW: Hey, Baja, look! Mary’s making a bowl of chicken noodle soup. [snerf] Sorry.
Be a lot more interesting if Mary agreed to Dom for him.
@Bob Tice:
#22 BT, Parodying scripture on Sunday morning. You’re such a card!
@Dagmar Nasty:
I’m sure Dawnie will be just fine. Maybe she can use the time alone to practice drinking from a can of soda!
She’s holding the cold can against the fat lip Mary gave her. “It’s ‘Ms Worth’ to you!”
DD. At least the Daddy Daze baby won’t starve. A surprising amount of meat on the Daddy Daze daddy.
MW: I’m telling you, Wilbur is never going to grow spiritually, but, dammit, the Minoxidil IS working.
Frazz: Yes, grace is still grace. But Hemingway was talking about guts, turdbrain. Nice try.
Blondie: So this guy goes from door to door cadging coffee and donuts. Whatever.
MW: Wilbur opens his carry-on only to find the white shirt he left in there 18 months ago.
HtH: Does the “and family” refer to the polycule he has going on with those three vampire chicks, or does Drac have a wife and kids a la Hotel Transylvania? I’m trying to figure out if this Viking raid is a hate crime against non-heteronormative unions or if it’s just horrific indiscriminate violence as usual.
MW: Wilbur’s words indicate that he’s learned from his mistakes and needs time to really reflect on the direction of his life. Wilbur not telling Dawn that he’s leaving for at least a month until he’s hastily throwing a few things in a duffel bag while keeping one eye on his Uber driver’s ETA indicate that he has not in fact learned a thing.
PmP: I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a horror remix of Wizard of Oz somewhere where the Scarecrow is a zombie, the Tin Man is a serial killer who keeps the preserved hearts of his victims, and the Lion ritually cannibalizes anyone brave enough to fight him in order to gain their courage. Sounds like a good idea for an American McGee game, if you can coax him out of retirement.
There’s a lack of brains at Pardon My Planet, surprising no one.
DD: It’s pretty on point for What’s-his-name to ignore Angus and essentially let the baby put a noose on himself.
C’shaft: Maybe the problem is the arrangement. If you have an entire concert band play the melody line from something you photocopied out of Fifty Christmas Carols for Voice and Piano, the results aren’t going to be subtle.
Dustin: Dustmom smiles, knowing that her husband’s heart cannot possibly hold out another six months. Soon, soon she will be free.
JP: Yeah, April? If you’re such an expert at being hunted by the law, why are you shouting about this outside where anyone can hear you?
Phantom: So the sultan’s end goal is to gain enough strength to keep colonizers and slavers out of Africa…and this is a bad thing, apparently?
RMMD: So the lesson is: seniors should never leave their own homes even to exercise, because they’ll get stabbed and their dogs might be put down for trying to defend them.
Obviously “I’m going to take two weeks to interview hurricane survivors in Tampa and then a solid month in Cancun” means Wilbur is running drugs, but everyone’s like “Yeah you’re fleeing from your public humiliations, makes sense” even though he hasn’t been publicly humiliated for at least three storylines. He’s got the perfect cover story! He’s a criminal mastermind!
Mary Worth: Meme-cataloguing site KnowYourMeme has a long-standing theory – tested and proven time and time again – that if an internet meme gets referenced on Family Guy, it means the meme is either dead or about to be dead, with only a tiny few standout exceptions from old warhorse memes like rickrolling. I now suggest that the same be said about Mary Worth, because the fact that Wilbur is saying “cringe” absolutely has to mean that that particular meme has reached the end of it’s lifespan and is now dying of old age.
Pardon My Planet: This one is actually pretty good, well done, Pardon My Planet.
Hagar The Horrible: This Castlevania crossover is not going to end well for anyone involved.
RMMD: Hooboy! They’re uppin’ the dramatic stakes by suggesting it might be curtains for Buster if they can’t *prove* that he was defending Merle!! Surely Merle will tell them – but he’s going right into surgery – and Rex won’t connect the Dog-bite victim to Merle! This is gettin’ almost Shakespearean! Now Buster is gonna need everyone’s support to SAVE HIM! And maybe a good lawyer. #justiceforBuster
MW: Willa is still holdin’ out on appearing in the same panel as Wilbur, so she wasn’t present for the emotional good-bye scene. And The Ladies are playin’ hard ball by not having anyone even mention her or her care while Wilbur’s gone! Like she was not even there anymore! With Wilbur gone, Willa is perfectly agreeable to co-starring with Dawn, or even Mary, for occasional feeding sessions… but we’re still in a tough negotiation on her contract.
RMMD: Realistically, the only “proof” the cop has that Buster even bit someone is that Merle said he did. The alleged bite victim hasn’t come forward yet, so this legal logic is all kinds of stupid. FREE BUSTER!!
Daddy Daze: I spent far too much time figuring out just how Ba would’ve had to lasso Daddy’s feet to get him to fall at that angle. I think start in front of him and leap over his head like the classic springloaded tree-branch snare?
Pardon My Planet: There are ways to draw the Cowardly Lion that finesse the question of what is or isn’t at his crotch. This was not one of them.
Hagar The Horrible: Thinking about “Wow so the Vikings brought tomatoes back from the new world” and “Hagar, a pagan, refuses to equip his team with crosses” and settling on “For that much setup this punchline was extraordinarily weak even by legacy strip standards.”
@mstgator: Thank you for your support! Our “Free Buster” yard signs are still available, but goin’ fast! My Intern is standing by the phone right now to take your order…
——
Hey, Intern – you know you *can* sit down to do this…
@Tom: will cause it not to count.
__________________________
I see what you did there!
Flylock Socks:
Thank Cthulhu for staggeringly incompetent villains, or what the red jackal could never railroad anyone.
Dracula keeps a large mustache in his castle? I never heard that part of the legend before.
In a much anticipated RMMD JP crossover, Randy goes before the Supreme Court to argue the case that a state governor can legally pardon a dog.
@Tom:
They could always duke it out.
I wanted to say that Vlad Tepes came at least four centuries after the end of the Viking era, but, actually, it was not the inspiration for Bram Stoker. However, count is a title of Western feudalism that would come to Transylvania only with the westernisation of the Crown of Saint Stephen and its expansion to the region, which absolutely came after the Viking age!
You know what, Vikings eating pizza is not that implausible. You see, Normans invaded Southern Italy establishing the Kingdom of Sicily, which extended its control over the area of Naples and they developed contacts with the Byzantine empire, so it is not implausible that Vikings from Scandinavia, Southern Italy and Kiev would be involved in some kind of triangulation of exchanges and… (reading the note being passed to me) Sorry, I’m being informed that tomato did not come to Europe before Columbus. Unless… Vinland connection? Come on, let me have this!
@Cleveland Mocks: I think I can identify the characters to the left of Lois, but I’m drawing a blank on the ones on the right. Can anyone help?
“Dad, I’m surprised you can afford a vacation in Cancun on your salary”
“I can’t. But when I mentioned that I’d like to spend some time away from Santa Royale, my friends started to collect money to let me go. One week, would have been fine, but they collected enough money for one month, maybe more, depending on how the GoFundMe page proceeds”
By the way “One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure” first appears in Google Books in The Musical Leader in 1937 as part of “Comments and Clippings by F.W.”, and it doesn’t start getting attributed to William Feather until the early 1970s, so I’m declaring that this Mary Worth quote is busted. The way Feather’s son apparently busted the union at his printers’ by moving the plant from Cleveland to Oberlin. Boo!
(Some sources attribute the quote to Feather’s The Business of Life but it doesn’t seem to be in on Google Books search, and even if it were he would have got it from the generally circulating proverb.)
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinx: I told Cassie that Charlie Brown pattern was a mistake, but would she listen to me? No, “We’re just rookie comic players, we have to honor the Ringbangers in the industry!”, she said between dipping her paw into that jar of ‘Nip. Maybe we can get a PSA out of this. (turns to camera) ” Kids, if you Nip, don’t steal. Nosy foxes are Wilbering at the window.”
Mary Worth: If you were to visit an assisted living facility, you might be surprised how many people track social media even into their 90’s, if only to keep up on their children and grandchildren’s lives, and how many of them at least occasionally come up with a relevant piece of slang. You might also be surprised to know how aware they are of gradations of age and health, asking questions like “What happened to that old guy?” and “Why is Wilbur Weston still alive?” What I am saying, dear Josh, is that there is no escape. You are doomed to walk this treadmill forever, like a modern-day Sisyphus. Have a nice weekend!
MW: “Cringe memories. Like that time I stalked Iris, lurking in the bushes and muttering darkly about her boyfriend. Or, that time I showed up shitfaced drunk to dinner, spilled wine all over my ex, then groped her bosom in front of my date. Or, that time I engaged in a Hate Karaoke war with Estelle. And, how about that time I faked my own death. THAT was certainly cringe.
Umm…waitaminute…all these cringe moments. They were all caused by ME. I AM the cringe. Going to Cancun won’t get me away from MYSELF. On second thought, I’m just gonna go buy a liter of Purple Drank and take a high-speed drive down Kelrast Curve.”
Daddy Daze: Well, at least someone found a use for a tie other than in kinky sex games, wearing around your head at drinking parties, or its intended purpose of slowly, gradually suffocating your hopes and dreams. You know what? I’m going to give Daddy Daze a pass on this one.
Ironically, the only way to make Wilbur relatable is to make him cringe at memories of Wilbur
A tie knot would be a perfect chocking hazard for a baby, so, Baby-Daze-Dad-Guy, this only the second worst outcome!
Low and Hi-less: Gotta admit, that’s a pretty good Wilburp Weston costume Dot’s wearing for a school play’s budget!
Dawn needs to drink just to carry on a conversation with her father, which, you know, fair
Also: Given that the Daddy Daze daddy seldom, if ever, wears a tie, the baby must have been able to open Daddy’s closet door and explore its deepest recesses to find and unbox the long-forgotten Christmas present given by the Daddy Daze grandma, hoping that her son would straighten up, get a proper office job, and stop working from home and/or slipping in psychosis. This is geometrically more menacing than anything Dennis has ever done, especially if Daddy keeps a gun under the bed.
Mary Worth: So Wilbur discusses his travel plans with Mary and asks her to check in on Dawn, and only then — while he’s packing — bothers to inform his daughter that he’ll be gone for six weeks or more. He’s obviously looking to branch out from “Ask Wendy” and “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” to add “Father of the Year” to the stable of columns he’s spectacularly unqualified to write.
I haven’t commented for around a week, and I wanted to drop in to say that nothing is wrong – I just have too much going on right now and don’t have time. I haven’t even read the comics. I miss this and will be back when things settle down.
MW: I bet Wilbur has Taylor Swift’s ‘Antihero’ on repeat on his music reproduction device of choice. Meanwhile, I think I just spotted a potential silver lining. Wilbur disappears for a while, and when Dawn ‘pays a visit’ to Mary, we’re finally (FINALLY!) going to get the lowdown on what happened while Dawn was back was back east with her mother. Hey, it’s gotta be better than ‘Wilbur meets Fabiana’ redux…
RMMD: I see the storyline is smoothly continuing as I predicted it would. Carry on…
JP: Hey! Keep your voices down! Don’t you remember? *EVERY* cop in town is looking for Ann! They could pop out of the bushes any second and demand the records from your father’s indoor security cameras!
@allangary: Between Lois and Hi are Snuffy Smith and Beetle Bailey, but to Hi’s right, the only one I’m even relatively certain about is Dustin.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I hear intruders in the house, boss!”
“Must you always act like such a hysterical ninny?”
“I’m sure it’s only mice”
“Yes, sir”
“Sir, ‘the mice’ want to know where you keep your cheese!”
@TheDiva: “Phantom: So the sultan’s end goal is to gain enough strength to keep colonizers and slavers out of Africa…and this is a bad thing, apparently?”
Well, ya gotta consider ancient Phantom’s plans to create generational wealth and a long-running franchise.
Doonesbury: Since when did the Walden football program gather enough NIL to have a big time player?
(Wouldn’t it be fun to ask the same question of Coach Prime’s star players?)
A&J: Just keep shoveling that money to Bezos. He’s got a family to feed (unlike those local merchants).
By the way, paying 28 MILLION DOLLARS for a pair of damaged movie prop shoes?
PmP is missing the real brainless thing around here.
MW uses up all its allowed cringe on the throwaway panels.
Wilbur asserting “I could tell Mary was eager to fill in again!” is a line that will make a lot of readers skip to the next strip. This is something of an accomplishment.
MT: Yeah, that’s my old nemesis, Maury Moose, getting the spotlight in the Mark Trail Sunday Spread… and of course he stopped by this morning to gloat! “Size matters!” he sez to me. “as well as being funnier than Elk.” Well, I said to him “You know nobody reads that scatshow at Mark Trail anymore. And I certainly wouldn’t have let them contort my antlers like that just to spell out the title banner!” He said the bandages will come off in a few days… (snort,snort)
Yeah, we go back a long way, Maury and I, competing for large Wildlife roles for years. But we kept it friendly, and since we’re both pretty much retired now, we can appreciate the things we have in common and laugh about old times. Where does the time go?
Speaking of the Mary Worth throwaway panels…I replaced “advice Column” in my mind with “porn channel” to make it a lot more entertaining.
Today’s Rex Morgan is a double treat! We get a signature giant hand gesture from the dog catcher, and an up-nostril shot on Rex, for the perverts!
@I speak Jive: Good to see you (metaphorically speaking) and thanks for checking in.
@allangary:
@Cleveland Mocks: I think I can identify the characters to the left of Lois, but I’m drawing a blank on the ones on the right. Can anyone help?
I can make out Snuffy Smif, Dustin, and Sideshow Bob. The fat guy with the ball nose looks familiar, but I can’t place him. No idea who’s next to Snuffy or who the alien is.
@Cleveland Mocks: As mentioned above, that’s Beetle Bailey next to Snuffy. I know it’s Olive Oyl next to Popeye, but I’d rather think it was Crow T. Robot.
@TheDiva: RE: The Phantom–the Sultan only wants the Portuguese and Turks out because they’re competition, and he intends to be the one doing the oppressing. The Songhai get this.
Crank: Yeah, well the composer meant it to be played on guitar because the church organ was damaged, and not by a student orchestra at all, so…
FC: Ah, I see Billy is at that magical age where you don’t really believe in Santa any more, but you aren’t sure if admitting that would result in getting fewer presents.
HtH: Ugh, once again I’m going to be the guy who fact-checks a humorous comic strip about a Viking who’s also a suburban dad, and which in this case also features a fictional character loosely based on a historical figure, by pointing out that Vlad III of Wallachia, also known as Vlad Drãculea (Son of the Dragon) and Vlad the Impaler, wasn’t even born in Viking times, never mind undead! And yet the pizza I’m willing to let slide as comical anachronism!
RMMD: The plot thins!
I appreciate the “Count Dracula and Family” sign in front of the castle. It makes me think the interior walls are beige and have things like “It’s Blood O’Clock Somewhere” and “Live(ish), Laugh, Love” on them.
HtH:
“When we get inside, we’ll throw our wassail cups through the windows!”
“Meaning what, Hagar?”
“The defenestration of Grog!”
HtH: Quick note on the full Moon!
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver: I love the juxtaposition of Merle saying “before I could give him my wallet” and Rex saying “We’ll get you taken care of” instead of what he, of course, almost said: “So you still have your insurance card.”
MW: “This drab brown clothing I’m packing is drippin’, right? I’d hate to look cringe in Cancun.”
FC: Jeff usually adds his name to these, but today he didn’t. I guess he’s okay with taking credit for his dad’s work, but wouldn’t dare take credit for Billy’s.
DD: When it comes to supervising a baby, this guy makes even Hi & Lois look good.
HtH: @Ettorre: I can overlook the tomatoes, but the cardboard boxes weren’t around until the 1800s. Just stop now before you embarrass yourself further. It’s so cringe, brah.
@TheDiva: re: Crank: And if you don’t bother to transcribe the parts for the Bb, Eb, and F band instruments, it’s going to sound worse than “not subtle.” Dinkle has a history of blaming the students for that.
”Gee, Mr. Dinkle, weren’t they little….how shall I put it….’out of tune?’”
”Fucking tin-ear kids. You can’t do a damn thing with them.”
@68 Peanut Gallery:
Muy bien, señor Cacahuete.
“Mary agreed to sub for me and I could tell she’s eager to do it.” Sorry, I don’t believe it. Mary is no sub, she’s clearly a dom
@Flipper: Mmmmm, it’s not paper, it’s just balsa wood (Google where balsa wood is from) Oh shit!
Trombone and Tuba Sections, plus the Bass Clarinet: “Gee, Mr. Dinkle, why does this sheet music have a treble clef instead of a bass clef?”
Dinkle: “Shut up and play the notes. Clefs are BULLSHIT.”
@matt w: The way Feather’s son apparently busted the union at his printers’ by moving the plant from Cleveland to Oberlin. Boo!
_________________________
And you thought “The Feather and Father Gang” was just an obscure 70s crime show!
@89 Ukulele Ike:
A bull pooped out a turd, it looked just like a clef
The farmer looked at it and said, “That’s some creative stuff!”
A group of people came to look at poo as if a holy writ
But band director Dinkle yelled, “That’s nothing but bull shit!”
MW: I’m picturing Wilbur coming home from Cancun with an all over tan corn rows and a personal relationship with Quetzlecoatl.
@92 Professor Well Actually:
I think he’ll be swept out to sea by a rogue hurricane on Christmas Day.
EEK! The carrot is in the wrong place.
PMP: So THAT’S what the Wizard gave to the Lion? Was Milton Bearle hired to play the Wizard?
PMP: So THAT’S what the Wizard gave to the Lion? Was Milton Bearle hired to play the Wizard?
RMMD: What a travesty of justice! Heroic dog Buster gets sent to the slammer for defending his owner while Thuggy McScrunchface will get released on a no bail personal recogniscence bond by some Soros backed soft on crime judge.
Hagar’s plan made me wonder… Now that he has killed his father and has to feed himself, what kind of pizza will the Daddy Daze baby get if he calls for takeout and just says ‘Ba ba ba ba ba.’
@97 Guillermo el chiclero:
liked the name “Thuggy McScrunchface”
@98 The Mighty Captain E:
Mutton?
MW: I only double-post about once a year, and here goes, repeating from last night. The second panel of today’s strip seems absolutely perfect for mashups, if you know what I mean, and I’m sure you do.
@101 Poteet:
I ain’t touching it.
@I speak Jive:
#65. Jive, thanks for the update. You’ve been missed.
@Peanut Gallery
Vaya, la etiqueta de robo es totalmente diferente en el mundo de Don Abundio.
@102 Sequitur:
Oh, who am I kidding?
@pugfuggly:
I’ve seen a few take-out menus where extra garlic is available as a topping, and even couple of restaurants (one in SF, though years ago) where you could order special super-garlicky pie.
DD If the kid can rope and tie up daddy in under ten seconds, he’s got a possible career on the rodeo circuit.
Mary Worth: A month in Cancun? There’s a reason spring break only lasts a week, and those are sexy, energetic college kids! What is dumpy, middle-aged Wilbur going to do when lounging on the beach and typing up his very brief interviews with hurricane survivors gets boring after a couple of days? I imagine he’ll decide to leave his bargain resort and go wandering through unfamiliar parts of town alone, asking strangers to about dance schools with the kind of hot, avaricious instructors he likes the most. So the only real question is, will he only be robbed of his passport and belongings, or somehow manage to get himself kidnapped in an area that’s currently considered no more dangerous than Los Angeles? Let’s just say I hope Mary has some extra retirement savings she can cash out — although I’m guessing that once the criminals get a good look at our Wilbur, they’ll set the ransom relatively low.
PMP: Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!, don’t you represent any black Cairn Terriers? How did you convince them to use a squirrel instead?
@Guy Nerdlinger: Fresh garlic is a topping option all along the Brooklyn/New Haven pizza hall-of-fame corridor.
I assume the Frisco restaurant was The Stinking Rose, just a few doors north of City Lights Bookstore. I’ve walked past but never tried it; too gimmicky for me. Used judiciously, garlic is a blessing to humanity; you shouldn’t just throw tons of it into your food.
Fifty years ago Dear Abby provided the important “Survival Skill” tip of not opening unless you have Jacks or better, and perpetual drunk Eek provided deportment advice to Meek.
MW:
A week or so later, Wilbur writes a “Survivors” story from the road…
When I first encountered in person the devastation that had been wrought by Hurricane Milton, I wanted to apostrophize the malevolent storm, engage it combatively and shout, “Hell,man, put up your Duke’s!” — I enjoy boxing, and I’m good at my Kraft. And yet, the intrepid, indefatigable survivors of this storm not only managed to piece their lives back together, but also succeeded in continuing to work in their chosen occupations, even — astonishingly — generating work-in-progress in the process. It was truly Miracle WIP.
@TheDiva: Actually, I remember American McGee was planning on doing an Oz game years back, but it was cancelled for whatever reason.
@Horace Broon: I recently learned that Doctor Frankenstein was also based on a real person (also named Frankenstein) An alchemist who dug up corpses in hopes of making an elixir of life that would allow him to live to the age of 148.
It killed him immediately after drinking, as a drink made out of corpses can’t be healthy.
MW: Ahem, Wilbur. It’s you that makes everybody in Santa Royale cringe, or puke.
@Garrison Skunk: It belongs to his cousin. Nose-fur-atu
@Giant Pondering Otter: #113: I could understand Herr Frankenstein’s belief considering that ground up mummy dust was a common ingredient sold in any well-stocked apothecary shop in those days.
Six Chix and A Cat Named Unemployment Eunice In Search Of A Punchline:
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP. Job Listings. AND SO—
I join up with five other untalented “cartoonists”
and force the syndicate to print my drivel.
FIFY
Comic Creator
Job Requirements
Must be able to conceive
and visually present humorous situations
ITS RELENTLESS
@Giant Pondering Otter: It killed him immediately after drinking, as a drink made out of corpses can’t be healthy.
_______________
A corpse is a corpse of course, of course, and nobody can drink a corpse, of course, that is of course, unless the corpse is the famous Dr Frank. -Theme from “Dr. Frank”
@Giant Pondering Otter: The gold standard for Oz remakes came in the 90s in World Championship Wrestling with future star Kevin Nash as Oz.
The YouTube site “Wrestling With Wregret” has a great summary
Of course, there’s that episode of “Night Court” when Dan Fielding accidently drank a dead man.
@Sequitur: Gracias!
@Violet: I have to give them credit for the fact that “Lefty” is indeed holding the gun in his left hand.
Funny with all of this talk about Dracula and Vampires.
“Ghost Hunters International” was on just now, and the ghost hunters went exploring Dracula’s castle.
A bunch of ragtag average people have more balls than an entire Viking raiding party. Who knew?
Although, one of the ghost hunters should at least be carrying a whip. That’s just how its done these days.
My best guess for the Hi and Lois silhouettes are Olive Oyl, Popeye, Hagar the Horrible, Calvin, Homer and Marge Simpson, Batman, Snuffy Smith, Beetle Bailey, Mr Magoo, Dustin, one of the Yip Yip from Sesame Street, and Connie Duncan from Zits
Not 100% sure if that is a Yip Yip but that’s my best guess, only other thing I could see it being is Nibbler from Futurama
@Anonymous: That’s not Herbal Tea!
THATS HERB!!!
@I speak Jive: Thanks for the update, and may you soon be able to return!
@Sequitur: If you ever happen to change your mind, you know where to find us:-).
The Prince Valiant panels today remind me of Little Nemo in Slumberland art in the way they’re laid out and the with the colors and shading involved. The master is still inspiring 100+ years later.
After seeing Mary Worth in the header and reading some comments about certain characters, seeing Dot Flagstone starring as “Wilbur” gave me a start.
I don’t know if anyone else has done the Wizard of Oz joke Pardon My Planet, but surely this isn’t the first time someone made the obvious connection.
PV: Val, you inebriated oaf, now look what you’ve done. Aleta is not gonna be happy.
@126 Poteet:
Look at @105 Sequitur:
@Tabby Lavalamp: I hope and expect to see that again on Friday.
@Sequitur: Bwahahaha!
Baja! Get a load of this!
For the next seven days it’s just these two jawin’ with each other.
@Poteet: #128: Aleta? What about Arn’s wife Maeve? She’s not going to like seeing her handsome husband return disfigured and blinded.
FG: So, are the Shark Men supposed to be, like, the Klingons of Mongo?
mw don’t know what is more a cringe fate for dawn knowing that if he doesn’t somehow vanish in cancun or worse have another ship accident that dawn knows wilbur will return home or that she has to now have diner with mary who will want to know about the latest way to add the youngers to her cult. luann how nice of shannon to go to all that work for puddles though surprised she didn’t have luann open it and give it to puddles right away
HtH: The Vikings were afraid to raid a vampire’s castle so they got pizza delivered with extra garlic. This week’s gag written by Billy, age 7. Boy’s branching out.
MW: Wilbur is leaving town for a month, on a combined work assignment/sad attempt at a sex tour. He only tells his daughter that he’ll be away 15 minutes before gate time. Yup, sounds like Wilbur all right.
PMP: Okay, I don’t know why the always canonically brainless Scarecrow has just gone zombie brain crazy, but the important thing is that the Tin Woodsman has his axe ready to do the hard, necessary thing.
PmP: I did love in the second book when Jack Pumpkinhead visited the Emerald City (which Scarecrow was temporarily ruling) Jack was from Gillikin Country, and so he and Scarecrow came to the conclusion that seeing as they’re from two separate countries they must be foreign to each-other and therefore must be speaking different languages. Despite they were both speaking to each-other to agree to this conclusion… Scarecrow gets an assistant to be an interpreter for the both of them.
It was meant to be a silly scene but still, they be stupid.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Excellent point! Val is going to be in extremely deep doo-doo with at least two scary women if he does not return Arn to his home base in approximately the same condition Arn was in when he departed.
Also, since ravens who are spies and magicks that actually work are things in PV now, this story seems like a potentially-good opportunity to roll them out if need be. In any case, good luck, Val, you uber-swilling dumbass. You are going to have to deal with this mess while enduring the mommy of all hangovers.
9CL: That poor tree.
C-Shaft: The composer? The man had a name, and it was Franz Xavier Gruber. Maybe the band has to tone it down but there’s no reason for you to dumb it down.
Dustin: This is the second day in a row where Dustin has been pushed offstage in favor of fat jokes about his parents. On the bright side for him this takes attention off of his perpetual underemployment and inability to score. On the not so bright side there’s a chance dad could break his diet with father/son cannibalism.
GA: The “Later” narration box seems to imply that a great deal of time has passed, during which time we don’t see or hear Slim and Ben talking. An occasion for profound gratitude, to be sure.
JP: Okay, and? It’s not like the Parkers need April’s experience as a fugitive to think like her and find out where she is. They know where she is. It might be that her experiences might make her more compassionate to Ann, but that is currently not in evidence.
MT: Strikes me that it’s also advisable not to squeal at the top of your lungs when you’re just a few feet away from said moose, Mark.
RMMD: We all know Beavis is going to the same ER. Just show us Buster consulting with his doggie attorney.
MW: I can’t imagine Wilbur’s column being as interesting as say… any episode of “I shouldn’t be alive” only because Wilbur is the one writing.
One episode (true story mind) a couple (boyfriend and girlfriend) on a hiking trip got lost, ended up in the middle of a forest for days. They eventually found the remains of a campsight and a journal (and a man’s corpse nearby) The journal said that where they were was pretty much at the bottom of a basin. Like a literal bowl surround by cliffsides, I have no idea how they got down there but they were trapped. Helicopters would fly over from time to time but never saw them.
The campsite did have some items like a box of matches and such.
After a few more days, the boyfriend sort of lost his mind and lit a large tree on fire with the matches because a forest fire would get someone’s attention and send a team to put it out.
Thankfully the fire petered out pretty fast and didn’t spread but it was enough to get the helicopter’s attention and rescue them (and the man’s corpse so he could get a proper burial)
The man saved them really.
Where my parent’s generation would say “cringeworthy”, I would just say “cringy”, and people younger than me just say “cringe”.
Now, Marry Worth has forced society’s hand. We need a new word. I guess “crin”, is the next step?
MW-Cringe like the time Wilbur went to pieces over a dead goldfish. People are still pointing at and aughing at him.
GA: “Hi! My name’s Ben! What’s yours?”
”Don’t talk to me.”
”Have you been washed in the Blood of the Lamb, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, King of Kings? I have! My name’s Ben!”
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’m considering changing my allegiance over to the Shark Men. Something appealing about their healthy greenish skin tone and those hairless, penis-shaped bodies. Not like those damn beardy Lion Men, who probably smell like a combination of uncleaned litter boxes and the Big Cat house at the zoo.
@143 Ukulele Ike:
Ah, a traitor! You will be hairballed by Lion Men!
@Ukulele Ike: #143: I’ll bet you remember the old Cat and Ape Building at the Cleveland Zoo. That place packed a stench.
@Liam: Slylock Fox-Slylock noticed Cassandra has no vpl.
________________________________________________
Cassie lost her vpl years ago.
@Andy L: Now, Marry Worth has forced society’s hand. We need a new word. I guess “crin”, is the next step?
_____________________________
Being WillWestoned will be the new RickRolled — suddenly hearing “Food,Glorious Food”
@145 Anonymous:
She keeps it in a jar by the door.
@Andy L: Or Cri…
As in, “society dumbing down their words is so cri, that I want to cry.”
GA: Because today is Sunday, I dare to hope that “Ben” has served his singular pathetic purpose and will never return.
LUANN: If the goal is to store this present in a freezer in order to spare Shannon from learning something that some kids her age know already, why isn’t it being stored in the freezer in Shannon’s aunt’s house?
JP: I would have guessed that keeping an eye on the fugitive’s relatives’ homes was a basic of law enforcement training on how to locate and take a fugitive into custody.
@Sequitur: Who is it for?
@151 Poteet:
Only her gynecologist knows for sure.
Mary Worth – Did the Mary Worth art team decided “Fuck It’ and just turn the art over to AI? It’s one thing for Gil Thorp’s art to phoning in first draft sketches with a new artists, but this is hot garbage worth of that motion-smoothing default on modern TVs.
Pardon My Planet – This strip has been around since 1996, and is now declaring itself as zombie script, both in the literal sense, and in the fact it’s given up on being funny or coherent. No one is paying attention as newspaper comics lead themselves to a slow death by mediocrity.
Daddy Daze – Daddy Daze baby Angus is now free from Daddy, meaning that he can stay with competent Daddy Daze Mommy full time. Let’s hope Mommy finds a Step-Daddy equally competent and Angus grows up into an advance, but well balanced person thanks to a strong male role model in his life.
Hagar the Horrible – Hagar might be a bloodthirsty Viking, but exposure of chivalric knights has taught him honor. He won’t fight vampires when they are vulnerable, because there is no honor in that. Granted, Sven’s Pizza is a Nordic version of an anachronistic version Italian dish, with a franchise in what is now Romania, but at least Hagar knows the key ingredient from respecting the locals knowledge of the beast. Hagar is attempting to uphold honor, learn from local customs and knowledge, despite being a violent thief. He is far head of the future British Empire on balance.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Sure do. And I’ll bet the first time you read the Kurt Vonnegut short story “Welcome to the Monkey House” you instantly recalled that fucking Monkey Island, their biggest attraction.
I was in Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo a couple of weeks back, and instinctually braced for the stinkwallop when we entered the Big Cat House. Surprise! Zoo technology has advanced to the stage where we can mock the noble beasts in their imprisonment without being inconvenienced by the smell of their poop!
(Seriously, the main reason for visiting the Lincoln Park Zoo is to pay respects at the Eugene Field Memorial. It is SO damned charming.)
Hagar the Horrible could have been more authentic if they used Viking pottage instead of pizza. Check out the ingredients.
@155 Sequitur:
I meant to add that the preceding was from Doughnutlounge.com and their article Delicious Viking Recipes: A Journey Into Ancient Culinary Traditions.
@Sequitur: Mmmmm, pottage. Smells great! Hey, I’ll trade you my birthright for a bowl o’ that stuff.
@Sequitur: Holy smokes, the Vikings invented Irish Stew? I guess Leif Erickson dropped by the Connaught on the way back from North America and taught my poor naked mud-eating Celtic ancestors how to put meat and vegetables together in a pot and heat it up.
@157 Ukulele Ike:
I doubt your birthright is as great as Esau’s was so no thanks.
@Sequitur: So the garlic is what really makes it great?
@159 Poteet:
Not necessarily but it’s what would repel the vampires.
Wilbur is one of my least favorite characters in comics but the realization that he needs to take a break from his surroundings and spend some time figuring out why his life is a series of Curb Your Enthusiasm bits is a sign of remarkable growth.
Yes, Wilbur, you are cringe. You fall off cruise ships. You make scenes at karaoke night. You weep over goldfish. You should spend some time thinking about your life. Eventually the gravy train of being a newspaper advice columnist will end even in the fantasy world of Mary Worth where newspapers still matter and are able to make payroll.
Wilbur asked Mary to sub for him while he goes to bother hurricane survivors, he didn’t say anything about her continuing to sub for him while he goes to Cancun for at least a month for some reason.
What I’m saying is, the strip continues to find new exciting ways to make it clear that Wilbur is absolutely awful.