Archive: Pardon My Planet

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Dick Tracy, 9/12/23

Sprocket Nitrate has managed to extract herself from the crumbling criminal enterprise in which she was entangled and has laid her hands on a fake passport and, you know what, good for her! Now she faces her greatest challenge yet: will she be able to bring herself to put on shoes as she flees the country? Criminal syndicates tend to have fairly relaxed workplace dress codes, but in my experience you really do need to wear shoes to board an international flight.

Mary Worth, 9/12/23

Ha ha, bet you thought that Saul and Eve getting married and paying their respects to Mary last week would signal that this week, finally, we would finally embark on a new adventure. Turns out nope! Turns out we’re stuck here forever. Truly wild that this storyline began with a lurid dogfighting plot and is going to end with an old man trying to figure out how much of his stuff he should donate to the Goodwill.

Pardon My Planet, 9/12/23

What with the combination of the classic winged-angels-standing-on-clouds depiction of heaven, reincarnation, “soul companion,” and the idea that the spirit might remain tied to the body even after death, I’m going to say something I never thought I’d say: there’s way too much going on theologically in today’s Pardon My Planet.

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Pardon My Planet, 6/17/23

Look, I am not a vegetarian (anyone who’s met me IRL will have a good chortle at me having to preface anything with this), but if you’re doing a comic set up where a guy dies and appears in the afterlife festooned with beef-eating paraphernalia only to discover that the gates to paradise are guarded by one of the very creatures he so loved to eat, you’d better follow through with it. This guy has just arrived in his personal hell, is how this strip would go if a coward hadn’t written it, whereas a divine bovine letting bygones be bygones is a truly limp “punchline.” On the other hand, I guess the implication may be that the guy died in agony in some sort of grilling accident, which I may be willing to accept.

Daddy Daze, 6/17/23

The thing about Marvin is that it just fills me with contempt and disgust, whereas Daddy Daze is still novel and weird enough to me that it instead inspires a kind of existential dread and honest fear. What was the first thing that was like changing diapers that we miss because we enter in media res? What was it? It will haunt my dreams tonight.

Gil Thorp, 6/17/23

Despite losing some key players to the juvenile justice system, the boys’ baseball team has finally figured out the secret to playdown success: just ignoring Gil’s attempts at coaching altogether, and to actively tell him to knock it off if he gets insistent with it.

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Mary Worth, 11/11/22

“Nah, babe. Even the prospect of our tragic death can only shake us out of the boring ruts of our usual routine for a day or so. That’s why we’ve got to plan our upcoming wedding … it’s just out of the ordinary enough to make us feel like everything isn’t undifferentiated sameness with no beginning or end. And after the wedding? Well, we’ll just have to come up with something else, hopefully not suicide.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/11/22

I dunno man, I feel like it’s a bad sign that Mr. Wilson hasn’t even bothered to tape over that window or anything. Just left a big jagged hole! Like he’s given up on everything! I hope the UPS man isn’t delivering something he’s going to use to harm his neighbors, or himself.

Pardon My Planet, 11/11/22

A new addition to the list of Things You Can Just Put In A Newspaper Comic Now Where God And Everyone Can See It: a blowup sex doll. Congrats, Pardon My Planet!