The clam screams endlessly, it did not consent to becoming a weapon
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/11/25
Oh, I’m sorry, did you find the recent week’s worth of Rex Morgan, M.D., Characters Talking On The Phone boring? Well, did it ever occur to you that they found it boring too, and it’s actually really hard and stressful on them to be in this strip? Thank goodness Summer gets to take a break from the relentless changes in facial expression and hand position demanded of her and can now spend three panels blissfully staring out into space.
Pluggers, 1/11/25
I like this one because you could read it as Chicken-Lady just now taking the tree down … or just now putting it up. “I mean, it’s a full five days after Epiphany! But I guess I should put the star up there just to finish the job.”
Slylock Fox, 1/11/25
I’m sorry, I don’t believe any iteration of that child caught a fish bigger than himself. I think he’s just trying to sabotage this guy’s dating profile pic. He’s right to do it! Guys like to post fish pics but women don’t like ’em!! You’re dodging a bullet, buddy!
Blondie, 1/11/25
You foolish children! X-eyes don’t denote sleepiness! Don’t you understand what you’ve done? That snowman is dead! [starts sobbing uncontrollably] He’s dead! He’ll never wake up.
37 replies to “The clam screams endlessly, it did not consent to becoming a weapon”
Slylock Fox:
Oh, that’s easy. It’s the third panel — Lampy is slowly but surely presenting more of himself on the left side of the frame.
Oh, wait a minute. Wrong strip — that’s RMMD.
RMMD:
“Good movie. I hope those boys find that dastardly witch. But why is the view from their camera so shaky?”
MW: Given that she is Wilbur’s daughter, I guess we should have assumed Dawn’s a messy eater, but it’s funny that this didn’t come up on their first or second meal together. Or is this because she can’t see to steer her food to her mouth?
RMMD: Hey now, it’s not the same panel three times! It’s the same panel three times cropped slightly differently in each one!
FC-Billy and Jeffy equal the weight of Dolly.
MW-More of Dirk’s quirky endearing habits.
RMMD-I’ve never been so bored with this dialogue.
RMMD: If you think this is depressing, just wait until you see Summer’s life when Terry Beatty makes it “fun.”
Pluggers: I can’t be the only one who read this caption in Sir Ian McKellen’s voice.
Blondie: Imagine you’re a parent and you cave in to your child’s insistence that they must have three top hats to make their snowmen… and then the ungrateful little shit goes and makes the snowmen in a neighbor’s yard. No wonder Elmo’s mom and dad hate him.
RMMD: Before Twin Peaks, David Lynch wrote The Angriest Dog in the World, a comic strip with the exact same panels of a dog “who is so angry he cannot move” every day. But what was avant Garde in the 80s is mainstream now. Get ready for The Boringest Medical Receptionist in the World. “The woman who is so dull she cannot move. She cannot eat. She cannot sleep. She can just barely watch a movie. Bound so tightly with ennui and lazy art, she approaches the state of rigor mortis.”
Blondie: Bill Watterson is going to be at King Features’ door with a rifle.
Blondie: You know that heart-wrenching scene in The Lion King with Simba trying to wake up his father after the stampede? This is like that, but with two children. And they’re all snowmen. And we have no emotional connections. But other than that, it’s identical.
Pluggers are frozen with indecision…or parkinson’s…so stop gawking.
Blondie: Dagwood ruins the tableaux when he eats the carrots. “Sorry, kids. It’s what I do.”
BLONDIE:. Dag seems almost glad the kids woke him up to play, rather than considering them a PITA. Good adulting, old man.
CURTIS:. Greg earns enough to get these two boys separate beds. If room is small, bunk beds would be better. Next time Curtis adkd for $20, just tell him it’s invested in his Big Boys Sleep Alone fund.
FG: A newbie to strip, who are the two Invaders? The guy with the horns look familiar, and horned/horni [sic] are usually evil. If so, will Sharks and Lions unite against common enemy?
MW:. Time to show your value, Dawn. Ask him about HIS summers in Italy and affairs with professors.
RMMD:. Get an interesting mind, Summer. Then ice cream and a movie will be more than enough.
WHat the hell? Elmo doesn’t have a friend. Why else would anyone hang around Dagwood?
MW: what does Dirk the Dick see in Dawn?
Nipples.
FC: Shown: 1962. Not pictured: 2025, kids standing in front of fence with row upon row of suburban houses in background.
@Professor Well Actually: “ MW: what does Dirk the Dick see in Dawn?”
This is merely example 1,739 of “Karen Moy becomes aware a concept exists but can’t be arsed to actually learn what it means or how to tell a story about it.”
She knows that negging and other abusive behavior exists but instead of doing the research to understand that the abusers don’t relentlessly criticize the victim but, rather, first appear friendly or center harmless she just makes Dirk all terrible all the time to the point that Dawn, quite logically, calls him out for it.
Really, she already did the “nice guy is revealed as an abuser” story years ago, but that was Wilbur and his abuse was just an “endearing quirk.”
Fish want me. Women fear me.
Fun fact: When I state: Good Night to my Google mini I programmed it to respond: I hope you never wake up.
@Schroduck: He couldn’t care any less. Just ask the Peeing Calvin makers.
Blondie: I was going to make a joke about the size of Dagwood-snowman’s carrot, but… wait, did they give him a butt?!! These kids are weird!
This Canadian is just sitting in appalled fascination – Elmo and his buddy just walked into the house, into the living room, *on the rug!*, with their boots on. I know Americans are weird, but that is going too far!
Blondie. Dagwood: “Christ, there’s two of them!”
Elmo: “Well, yeah, we thought it would show how much effort they’re putting into moving him.”
Dagwood: “Oh. Sure. I was talking about the snowmen. Of course.”
MW: “Not everyone is perfect like you! [burp]”
FC: The melonheads don’t seem to be wearing safety helmets in order to race.
No, no, no, an AI generated version of the panel wouldn’t be missing a finger. It would have 7 extra fingers! And 3 legs that may or may not be attached to the fish. And the human faces would be distorted to reflect the torment of having seen their species overthrown and reduced to being villains and jesters.
RMMD:
“I wish someone would give me a jingle. Anyone. Rock musician Edgar. Former college and NFL star Shawn. Police member Andy. British group that did ‘Hit the North, Part 1.’ Winter, Springs, Summers or Fall — all you’ve got to do is call.”
GT: Wow, I’ve never seen sweat in most of these shapes before, particularly the sharp, pointed forms.
The new artist appears to be practicing impressionism, but it’s clashing with Henry’s bizarre notions about sports in particular and everything else in general. For our sake, these two would synch up better if she switched to surrealism. Then at least something in this strip might not be an incoherent mess.
I have to admire the vast amount of diligence and effort shown in the third panel of that Rex strip. Panning the camera over by six inches isn’t easy.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
Blondie: “Daisy, go add some yellow.”
Blondie: Great. The two snowmen have performed an unholy ritual to restore life to the larger snowman. It’s rampage will stop when it realizes Dagwood has no brains to eat.
SF/RMMD: I thought for sure that Josh had accidentally posted from yesterday’s and today’s Slylock Fox.
Pluggers: What I get from this scene is that the tree has commanded the lady Plugger to murder her husband with the star. I think I watch too many horror movies.
MW – Dawn: eats like a pig. Dirk: is a pig.
@Professor Well Actually: His dick.
JP: “At least now you have a lot of important questions to ask yourself as your client’s lawyer. And maybe your client’s family. And perhaps your client’s friends. And possibly your client’s other victims. And conceivably even your client’s favorite dress retailer. But under no circumstances should you speak to your client herself, obviously. Heh. Honestly; a lawyer talking to the person they’re about to defend in court. Could you even imagine? What next, are the police supposed to interrogate suspects and witnesses?”
GT: …Rachel Merrill, what the hell is this?
Luann: What a positively wacky circumstance. I’m sure Piro will have a very good reason why he failed to mention he was bringing five children and their middle-aged sex predator to visit his not-girlfriend’s friend’s parents’ house, and this won’t immediately devolve into some extremely boring pity bait and bitchy doormat nonsense like… well, every other Luann story.
SlyF – Seagulls do this shit to clams All. The. Time. It’s the circle of life. Kitty-Cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
RMMD – It has an Andy Warhol vibe….
Pluggers – Every Tuesday is fat Tuesday….
SFx – Acid trip….
Blondie – Tursty’s passed out on the front lawn – his children try to roust him before the whole neighborhood sees. The Xs for eyes are a dead giveaway. Happy Holidays….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Rex Morgan: I’d actually be kind of impressed if this whole storyline is just several weeks of this panel of Summer sitting here repeated over and over with nothing but the thought balloons changing.
Slylock Fox: Oh my God, that dude’s finger got eaten by the fish!
Blondie: “I’d say that’s right on the money,” says Dagwood as he quietly reaches for his snow-shovel to beat Elmo and his friend to death for ruining his nap.
RMMD: I feel like the only thing more ridiculous than drawing three identical panels is drawing three *almost* identical panels. Like, are we supposed to notice the (very) slow zoom out from Summer and draw something from it? This isn’t a Kubrick film.
Pluggers are deathly afraid of any any indicators of the passage of time and will do almost anything to avoid them. It’s why their homes look like they were last decorated in 1994.
Sfx: Sadly, that sign is referring to fish flu. And if you thought bird flu was bad…
Blondie: Has anyone ever done a Simpson-style house layout of the Bumstead residence? I don’t really care about the house, I just really want to know how big that lot really is…