Barry rightfully refuses to risk his good rep as an editor and participant in the African diaspora wikiproject
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The Phantom, 2/2/25
A fun thing about The Phantom (the comic strip) is that it’s one of the oldest superhero franchises, and the Phantom (the character) hasn’t really changed much since the strip launched during FDR’s first term, so he recognizably fits into the “superhero” slot in our collective understanding of the word but one of his primary “superpowers” is “shoots guns”. The current Sunday storyline is sort of a Phantom: Origins flashback, showing what the current Phantom’s Phantom ancestor was up to during the Moroccan invasion of the Songhai Empire in the 1590s. Turns out what he was up to was using his “shoots guns” superpower, even then! Hey kids, you want to see a guy get shot in the chest, right here in the newspaper? It’s OK, it’s, uh, old-timey.
Curtis, 2/2/25
Don’t panic, Curtis! All you have to do is create a Wikipedia page for “Toby Wilkins,” complete with plausible-looking citations, before Mrs. Nelson gets home tonight! Admittedly that doesn’t really sound like something that’d be in your skill set, now that I think about it. Seems to be more like a Barry thing to be honest. Should’ve been nicer to your brother, Curtis! I personally would not quickly whip up a bogus Wikipedia page to help a guy who calls me “troll” on the regular.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/2/25
Your nephew’s band? Is it a roots country band??? We haven’t seen any roots country action in this strip since November, I’m starting to panic
122 replies to “Barry rightfully refuses to risk his good rep as an editor and participant in the African diaspora wikiproject”
RMMD:
“Summer, your spectacular pulchritude inspires me to an adaptation of a classic ’60s hit verse.”
“Okay, I’ll humor you. Go for it.”
“I met her in a club drowned in old bohos/Where you drink your pain, and it tastes just like cherry cola/c-o-l-a, cola….”
“Oopsy, ‘Augie’ ! — gotta run!”
Curtis: With the rise of digital technology, it’s getting harder and harder for kids to cheat these days. Also don’t name your children after food; we’re trying to evolve past eating our young.
MW: Wanting to save this relationship is Dawn Talk for “My period is late and the back alley clinic staff says I’m a liability.”
Phantom:
Well, he’s a total BLAM! BLAM!
— David Bowie
RMMD-A little liquid courage before listening to your nephew’s band.
MW-Remember when Wilbur is involved those would just be endearing quirks.
FC-Not the sort of horse Daddy wants to play.
RMMD: Masturbation, they are talking about masturbation.
JP: The CIA, Randy, it’s the CIA’s drone. Why else would the CIA have their own Supermax facility next to the ‘Correctional Facility’ if they didn’t have an inordinate amount of interest in your wife and your clustercuss of a family?
MW: Gee, thanks for that insight, Quote Box! Too bad Dawn’s too dim to take your advice!
RMMD:
“Summer, I was going to have a blood draw from my circulatory system for analysis purposes, but the procedure ended up getting suppressed for some reason — and so I ended up here at the bar instead, which is just fine by me.”
“I have a feeling that I know where your next line is headed, ‘Augie.’ ”
“Yep. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a throttled phlebotomy!”
Rex Morgan: C’mon, dude, you’re making some headway here. Now get her number and duck out before your nephew’s pop-punk band comes on — I’ve seen their set list, and it starts with “My Idiot Uncle,” “Teachers Are Terrible,” and “That Girl Kelly in English Class Really Put Out.”
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if you’re afraid to do Jungian shadow work because it will reveal the true darkness inside, and will also prove that you’ve been eating way too many Mallomars.
Hi and Lois: I hate to tell you this, Dot, but your dad doesn’t watch “the weather lady on TV” because of her meteorological accuracy.
DtM: The Wilson’s no longer cast shadows themselves. Are they phantoms? Probably explains why the groundhog ignores them.
Moroccan?
I was wondering what a Sikh was doing abducting a black girl in Africa. Thanks for clearing that up.
@Liam: I thought Dawn would be ecstatic that she’s just like her father after her mother kicked her out for showing off her “endearing quirks.”
Flylock Socks:
Come on, we all know the red jackal drank off the wine at one gulp.
The Ghost Who Induces Cringe — “She no longer wants the comfort of defense if it diminishes her hero’s power of offensive action,” Was this lifted word for word from a bodice-ripper?
Curtis — So, after a career of telling her students not to trust Wikipedia, Mrs. Nelson opens the kimono.
RMMD — My nephew’s band. Anyway, I think it’s a band. They call it Shorty and Beanpole–my sister tells me they’re pretty good. . .
RMMD: A clear drinking container with dark brown liquid and a straw in it is comics visual language for cola, signifying that someone is not drinking alcohol.
Does RMMD know this, or is Summer drinking out of a poop-colored plastic tumbler because she’s not allowed to have glass after a string of disastrous dates?
MW:
“When’s your dad going to be back, anyway, Dawn? — he’s been gone since before Christmas!”
“Oh, I dunno. The mayor of some small town in Pennsylvania pulled him out of wherever he’s been holing up, and, bottom line, it’s going to be winter for another six weeks!”
RMMD: “It’s funny you should say that, because I’ve also got something the size of a Mack truck, if you know what I’m talking about. (I’m talking about my love of roots country).”
MW: At what point has Dirk shown that he’s “really a great guy”? When he sort of vaguely told her about his childhood? Or is the sex just that great? Never mind, forget I asked.
RMMD: “Apparently, there are a lot of hobbies you can do when you’re bored and single but since I’m horny I thought I’d try dating.”
Raises glass; “I here ya, lady”
@ValdVin: I enjoy a good nitpick as much as any other ‘mudge but she ordered a cherry cola earlier in the week and the guy made a joke that she was hitting the hard stuff
Curtis: There are many black slaves who did escape while helping others. You could have done a report on them.
Or how about the man who inherited a plantation from his father (which included black slaves) so he had them freed, then gave them a choice if they wanted to stay and continue to work for him but get paid for it and reasonable hours
(and of course no beatings because they are free now)
Edit: Then I remembered that Curtis is a lazy bum..
@Needless Exposition: Dawn’s in California. I will guarantee you she could find a Planned Parenthood that does abortions without any problem whatsoever.
@The Rambling Otter:
Edit: Then I remembered that Curtis is a lazy bum..
And stupid.
“…Who were the slave owners, Curtis?”
“Uh,….The Germans?”
@Tom: Well, it’s less for the abortions and more for the diseases. I feel like I wasn’t the only one who thought the “food” near Dawn’s mouth looked more like herpes than meat.
MW:
“Let me summon the adapted words of guitar-strumming Keith Hillend to warn you, a cappella, about the dangers of your continuing your relationship with this Dirk character.”
“Well, if you insist, Mary….”
“When this ‘toon is in the yenta’s house
And ‘stupider’ ali-igns with ‘marred’
Then ‘Sheesh!’ will guide your plannin’
And lo-ove with rule with scars
“This is the Dawning of the Age of Nefarious
Age of Nefarious
Nefarious!
Nefarious!
“Drama seen, and underhanding,
Infamy, mistrust abounding
So more falsehoods and collisions
Scoldin’; fibbing; screams; misprision
Cryptic, bristled degradation
And your mind’s true liquidation
Nefarious!
Nefarious!
“When this ‘toon is in the yenta’s house
And ‘stupider’ ali-igns with ‘marred’
Then ‘Sheesh!’ will guide your plannin’
And lo-ove will rule with scars
“This is the Dawning of the Age of Nefarious
Age of Nefarious
Nefarious!
Nefarious!
“Let the stunned whines, let the stunned whines in, the stu-unned whines in
Let the stunned whines, let the stunned whines in, the stu-unned whines in
Let the stunned whines, let the stunned whines in, the stu-unned whines in…”
[outro]
I love how today’s Curtis excludes the possibility of something happening in human history that just isn’t on Wikipedia (or the surface web as a whole, since presumably once Mrs. Nelson fails to find Toby Wilkins on Wikipedia, she’ll google him). No, it’s just completely impossible that Curtis’s family has orally passed down knowledge of one of his ancestors for a few generations and simply not put it on the internet. Physically impossible. The magic computer database knows all things.
@Hibbleton:
Teacher: Names, Curtis…
Curtis: Um… Jermaine Germopolis?
@Craig!: (meant to include this before clicking post)
Ia ia Wikipedia fhtagn!
There are seeds here waiting to grow. Don’t let me down.
Phantom, phantom faux-phantom
Banana fana faux-phantom
Fee fi faux-phantom
Phantom!
MW: “If it hurts when you do this, stop doing this.” — Marc Andreessen
MW: Breaking news, Dawn. It already is.
CS: “He went over to Centerville to knock over ice sculptures. It’s a really shitty thing to do, but at least it gets him out of here for a couple hours, so I’m down with it.”
RMMD: “I never could make a connection. So I started seeing hookers. You know, you’re pretty good looking for your age. I’ll bet YOU could hook. Wanna try?”
Phantom – Who knows how many blunderbuss pistols could be carried in those fancy pants? The Phantom knows….
RMMD – Oh great – bad date and now a chronic self reflector. No hand shake with this guy….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Chaos: Thankfully this comment section rarely devolves into controversial skirmishes. By rarely, I mean “never”
“If it’s cold outside, wear a coat.” — Marc Andreessen
“If you’re hungry, eat something.” — Marc Andreessen
“If smoke is blowing into the house, close the window.” — Marc Andreessen
Slylock: I don’t know what’s odder.
The fact that wine exists in this adorable animal comic (even if just for using wine solely for scientific purposes)
Or that a 15 year old drew a very emo furry and it got submitted. I mean I guess one can become a furry at that age but that fact surprised me.
RMMD- You know, youtubers complain about how much work they need to put in the production. I’m sure Only Fans would be similarily time consuming, and she’d get as much “me time” as she wants
MW: The old “I can love enough for the both of us” trope.
Main ingredients: one self-centered prick, one delusional empath, one busybody to the rescue.
MW – At no point has Dirk even come close to being a great guy. What Dawn means is, he’s great looking. (He just looks like Zak Lite to me, but whatever.) The platitudes Mary needs here are along the lines of: ‘Beauty is only skin deep” and “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
But Mary doesn’t seem to be grasping the situation. Her Meddle Meter is malfunctioning.
RMMD, Panel 3: Is it wrong that I get slightly turned on by the phrase “Summer Bumps”?
Phantom: Both the Sunday and weekday strips are focused on recounting the Ghost Who Walks colonialist origins, emphasizing how the Phantoms are all stand-up guys who take on the white man’s burden of protecting good brown people from bad brown people. Prager U has already added the strips to their curriculum.
RMMD: Rex Morgan believes online dating services are ineffective and full of predatory losers, and that one should find romance the old-fashioned way: by chatting up people in a dive bar.
DtM; Mr Wilson’s dementia is getting worse.
Pluggers: Don’t body shame the groundhog!
Baby Blues: Check for a carbon monoxide leak.
Family Circus: Next they can play glue factory.
I’m really hung up on that one line in Curtis. “He had one eye, and was blind in his good eye.” What the heck does that mean?! How does that work?
C’shaft: NOBODY is going to keep Ed Crankshaft from ruining everyone else’s fun!
DT: “I’m not jejune, I’m Presbyterian!”
JP: I don’t remember and I don’t have the spoons to go and check, but wasn’t Ann’s ex killed at night and/or in a heavily wooded area? It seems to me drone footage would be limited in those conditions, assuming that the drone had a camera to begin with, which might not be the case if it was just a random recreational device. I’m just saying, it’s good that Alan recognizes this premise is kind of dumb and unlikely, but I don’t think he understands just how dumb and unlikely it is.
MW: Unfortunately, what Dawn wants is to be validated by a relationship, no matter how awful it is, so Mary’s advice is useless in this case.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
Curtis-Was Toby’s first name originally Levar?
Don Abundio, translated:
“My weight was fine, but I’m a little worried about my fortune”
Dennis the Menace-Waiting for Godot.
RMMD – It could be worse. Said nephew could be a wannabe neo-Vaudeville comedian.
@Chance: 40: I’m really hung up on that one line in Curtis. “He had one eye, and was blind in his good eye.” What the heck does that mean?! How does that work?
I don’t know but it reminds me of the Snuffy Smif line about the yokel who was deef in one ear, and couldn’t hear outen t’other. But if you’re blind in one eye, how can it be the good one? Maybe it wasn’t so hideous that he had to cover it up with an eyepatch, so ‘good’ in some sense.
@White Rabbit: “Blind in one eye, and can’t see out of the other” is a pretty old joke. Dropping it into a scenario that’s supposed to be believable is just one of the problems with this strip.
@Liam: You’re thinking of Levar Ravel, Maurice’s smarter brother.
DT: ”You realize, Mr. Totten, that if the xylon bomb is here in this tower, you can’t use it to kill people without also blowing yourself up.”
(Blinks) “…..god damn it.”
@Ukulele Ike: Famous for his orchestral composition “Orelob.” (Basically one really long, gradual diminuendo.)
Mary Worth – That is not Mary. That’s an imposter. The real Mary would never tell Dawn to stand up for herself. Mary would advise her to learn to appreciate Dirk’s – forgive me for saying it – endearing quirks.
Mary really should get into what Dawn thinks makes Dirk so wonderful. Maybe “he’s a looker” is a very superficial basis for a relationship.
JP – Maybe we could care about this if every character wasn’t an entitled, pissy faced jerk. A coherent story with continuity would help, too. Instead, it’s ” Here are a bunch of off putting people. Let’s make up a story one panel at a time.”
9CL – Good grief, the artwork in the last panel is terrible. Alistair has an Easter Island head, and Lolly looks like she’s around three feet tall.
Oh, well, at least it isn’t Thorax or a World War II story.
Quite a few comics marked Groundhog Day – Arlo & Janis, Breaking Cat News, Brewster Rockit, and Pluggers. Crankshaft didn’t have to – it’s going to be six more weeks of bullshit no matter what the groundhog sees.
Yesterday Mr. Jive was listening to a local radio show about gardening. By the fifth reference to “Groundhog’s Day” my eye was twitching.
@ValdVin: @CanuckDownSouth: It looks like the bartender was out of cola so gave her a glass of chocolate milk instead.
@Rube: I think we’re supposed to see that Curtis’s story is over-the-top and unbelievable, and the comment about the eye is part of that.
The Phantom: I bet modern Phantom feels pretty shitty about the fact that Moroccan Invasion Phantom has a way better looking costume.
Curits: Uh oh, Curtis is so shocked that his plan went astray that he’s turning caucasian!
Rex Morgan: Not a single one of Kelly’s dates has been bad, each one has just been her being a total bitch to the most aggressively normal guys on the planet, and now the one guy catching her eye is even more milquetoast than all of them combined. This storyline really is summing up Rex Morgan as a series; obsessively bland and mundane, any possible real conflict stamped out as soon as possible.
I’d like to think the nephew’s band is already playing and those two are sitting at the bar getting sloshed instead of listening to whatever non-roots country nonsense is going on.
RMMD: Summer is a whiz at the coy-head- duck-with-lash-batting routine. It HAS been a while since she was out!
@Chance:
When you are missing an eye, the one blind eye you have is the good eye.
***
Barry should make the Wiki page, but make the ancestor someone who was illiterate but managed to save ten people, and mention that he had 20-20 vision for no reason.
Sunday Mary Worth quotevestigation: Oh fuck you.
Rex: “It was hard to make a connection, being a thumb with features. And it was hard to hear my wife say ‘I’m tired of being married to Mr. Meathead.’ And it’s hard to rent your forehead out as a billboard.”
The Familliar Mucus celebrates Groundhog Day with some horse-on-Bil action.
Can find absolutely no evidence that that conehead jackass ever uttered this quote, btw. Every single hit for it is a brainyquotish site, and none of his other quotes sound like this.
@White Rabbit: The original joke was that Curtis was plagerising “ROOTS” and the syndicate got cold feet at the last moment of complaints from the Alex Hailey family.
RMMD: I don’t even remember the egotistical date (and I’m too lazy to look it up in the archives) he must have been so superficial even for this comics standards…
Fifty years ago today Hagar invaded France, and Prince Valiant learned from a Viking that warlord Bella Grossi had made himself ruler of the Mediterranean Sea and was now moving into the Atlantic. In newspaper headlines, fighting broke out in Cyprus, and the Russians sought access to seaport facilities in Portugal.
Curtis: isn’t it bad enough that these kids have the constant reminders of slavery in America? Being forced to write Black History reports where they will no doubt read about the most horrific aspects of slavery and then present them in from of their classmates just seems extra mean.
@Anonymous: “Bean vs. Prez: Tenor Saxophone Tone and Attack in the Gnarliest 1930s Recordings of Coleman Hawkins and Lester Young.”
Your upbeat Black History Month topic. You’re welcome.
FC: Okay, Daddy. Now we’re going to shoot some Ivermectin up your ass!
MW: Next week Dawn shows up at Mary’s door with a blackened eye. “Well, I tried standing up for myself.”
@matt w: When they use these bland platitudinous sayings, they should just attribute them to Karen Moy. I mean, anyone could have said it, so why not her? And think of the reputation she’ll build once brainyquotes starts picking them up and attributing them to her!
MW: “If your boyfriend keeps calling you Nerdgirl, ask him to stop. . . . No, wait . . . ” — Marc Andreessen
“How did your nephew think of the band name,SHIELA ROO’S BUTT?” “It was just something he saw in “The Comics Curmudgeon” one day, he almost went with NO,NOT SEXUALLY, but decided it was too sex negative.”
(For those mystified by Garrison’s comment just above, yesterthread 50)
RMMD: It is courteous of both of them to establish themselves to each other as damaged goods. Moving straight to friends with benefits?
DT: “Oh, you don’t think the motive that’s been implied thus far makes sense? Well, what if I told you I didn’t have one at all?”
JP: “It could be the only thing that could save Ann! And if there’s one thing I’ve believed wholeheartedly for nearly ten minutes now, it’s that we need to save Ann!”
MW: Dawn, seriously, you can’t keep saying “But he’s a great guy” without a single example of how he isn’t a terrible, controlling person. I mean, one of the main criticisms of this story has been that Dirkhead has never even worked that hard at pretending to be a great guy.
PV: I’m not usually one to rate “the wisdom of the ages” over modern medical knowledge, but this seems like a much more effective treatment for bonkus of the conkus than anything Rex Morgan tried.
RMMD: So, the moral of the story is that online dating sucks, and you’re better off meeting someone in a bar … but make sure they’re not the sort of person who regularly goes to a bar?
RMMD: Summer, maybe next time don’t walk into a joint called The Hookup Lounge.
MW: “You have to stand up for yourself”? That’s really all Mary has to say about this?
Mary Worth – I hope (please please please) that Mary hosts a dinner for Dawn and Dirk so that she can see with her own eyes just how terrible Dirk is. He’ll insult Mary personally and then diss her cooking. I can’t wait to see her go all Incredible Hulk on him. Bonus points if Mary makes a vegan dinner to accommodate Dawn.
@76 I speak Jive:
Or… Dirk pulls an Eddie Haskell and is super polite to Dawn and Mary.
@Sequitur: Ha ha! “That’s a lovely purple cowl neck sweater you’re wearing, Mrs. Worth.”
FC: Melody Mare, is that you in the thought balloons? If so, I hope Thel at least put some fresh diapers on PJ and Jeffy before you did the scene. It’ll take a lot of Mane and Tail to get rid of that melonhead stench.
DT: I just noticed that Lee has stumbled over the Electrical Bomb-Lighting Machine Totten carelessly left in the middle of the room. I assume her next move will be to pull out the plug. Monday: NEW ADVENTURE!!!
Speaking of NEW ADVENTURES!!!, Mara Llave, Stopper of Time will swing into her next exciting plotline once she finally finishes suiting up. “Damn….this….zipper!”
9CL: Not only is Lolly three feet tall in the final panel, but in both her full-length poses today her legs are three times as long as her torso, meaning she needs to store a number of her vital organs in her thighs. Of course, this could be Polly for all I know; Brooke has established them as twin interchangeable fuckbots.
FG: Poor Adrane needs to fly everywhere she goes now — she left her shoes back in Sky City.
MW:. Glad that the proposed ban on “endearing quirks” lasted at least the remaining hours of January.
PV:. First, what happened to the singing sword that Prince V recovered at the cost of lives? And second, when independent Ingrid is queen, will Morgan be her co- Queen?
BB: the thing about team work is that if one ditch digger sloughs off, the rest of the team need to do his work. Plato, you’re in for a beating.
6CHX:. “Ah, this living is just too much work.” They’re so glad the robots are taking over.
@Anonymous:
#65:. CURTIS:. Seems to me there are at least three good reasons to assign the entire class Black History reports:. 1) it introduces students to the idea there is indeed a Black History left out of their textbooks, 2) researching US enslavement teaches kids about survival, resilience, and courage, as well as historical injustice, and 3) there’s a whole lot more to Black History than enslavement. Dr. Drew, anyone?
@I speak Jive: Sally Forth, too, in the typical Sally Forth way.
BB: So in today’s Army, I’ll bet digging ditches is not something they make troops do if they want to keep the ranks filled. In the days of the draft, they got all the free labor they wanted. In an all-volunteer Army (military) you’ve got to make an effort to keep your soldiers happy.
PV: Join us next week as.Arn’s insurance claim is denied because ‘magicks’ is an unapproved treatment
@Banana Jr. 6000: Yeah, that’s giving me vibes of one of The Simpsons Halloween specials, where the entire school faculty became cannibals and were cooking the students, Bart and Lisa ran home to Marge for help “Just march back to that school and say ‘Don’t eat me!'”
@Ukulele Ike: Re 9CL – Interchangeable – but but the twins part their hair on different sides!
However, with hair wet from swimming, Brooke doesn’t have to bother to remember this.
He should have drawn some backgrounds, too, at least in the first panel. It was impossible to tell if they were at the pond in New Hampshire or a public indoor pool God knows where until the crowd suddenly appeared.
@Dr. Pill: Yes, I forgot that one.
@UncleJeff: Maybe it would be paid if they got prior authorization first.
@The Rambling Otter: Slylock: I don’t know what’s odder.
__________________________________
That time it was revealed that Forrestville’s tv station, WLOL,airs an “Odd Couple” reboot with both Felix and Oscar played by otters called “The Otter Couple”. For my money, that is certainly odder.
Regarding JP, it’s unlikely that anyone would be flying a drone at night through a forest when it is snowing, unless they wanted specifically to lose their drone.
@I speak Jive: Come to think of it, they also play two different-sized fiddles world-classedly.
(lights two smokes and passes one over) “That was great, Cello Girl.” “No, I’m Violin Girl.”
Say, if Alistair took up the viola, I bet he could get them both in the sack at once. Fiddle sandwich.
@matt w: Garrison high fives Matt w for the explanation assistance.
Not only does Dawn not realize that she’s in an abusive relationship, I don’t think Karen Moy realizes either.
And this genius of a writer is being paid to write this dreck.
@GarrisonSkunk: Daaaaw, that sounds adorable!
Six Chex and A Cat Named Ralston Purina In Search Of A Punchline: Does that Golden Grahams™ implant an earworm of that “Oh, those Golden Grahams™” jingle directly into your brain? Cool.
@The Rambling Otter: IIRC, they even had otter versions of the names Jack Klugman and Tony Randall, but I can’t recall them or what mystery Sly was on set to solve ,sorry.
CURTIS: As far as I remember, Harriet Tubman freed about seventy slaves. It is not known how many were freed by Sojourner Truth, but the very highest estimate, I think, was about 300. Freeing enslaved people was overwhelmingly difficult and dangerous, and Tubman and Truth were heroic. Curtis’s claim sailed waaay over the top of what was humanly possible. I hope/assume his teacher knew that immediately and just put on a great entertaining performance, and is now enjoying herself as she watches Curtis turn…whatever that color is.
@95 Poteet:
In this case, not “turn” but “squirm’.
Tiger – It’s a parable about Artificial Intelligence.
@Peanut Gallery: Always mind-blowing to see that Tiger still exists.
Like opening up a dead-tree comics section and encountering Dondi, or Tumbleweeds.
@97 Peanut Gallery:
At least he’s got them in the right order. Not sure AI would.
@98 Ukulele Ike:
Or even Rick O’Shay
@Ukulele Ike: Or Broomhilda.
I was waiting for a train to pass one day, a very long train. One car had graffiti of Broomhilda.
Huh.
@The Rambling Otter: The worst thing is that Mary doesn’t realize it either. Is she seriously going to send Dawn back to this guy?
Phantom: Ah, but one of the Phantom’s specialties is shooting the gun out of the hands of whoever’s shooting at him. As it happens this one seems to have taken a couple of centuries to develop, at least.
RMMD: Small act of mercy for the singles bar to have a band playing so no one can hear anyone else. If you haven’t scored by 10PM it’s probably best to accept that it’s not your night and you might as well just move on with your life.
C-Shaft: What’s something nice and compact that you can start a fire with? Because guaranteed Crankshaft has it in his pocket.
Crock: So I assume for the rest of the strip’s afterlife the title character is going to be a silent clump of dust that a junior officer carries around in a Mason jar?
DtM: Just a thought, but I think this joke would have worked better if the art and coloring at all supported the idea that it’s winter.
DT: “Yeah, well, who doesn’t? You don’t have to be all showoff-y about it.”
GA: Pet food commercials in Gasoline Alley feature animatronic mice and run five minutes long so I guess it’s no surprise that they have a mummified Mark Russell doing the weather in a straw boater.
JP: “Oh by the way I just got the new script pages and apparently I’m now 100% onboard with saving Ann. Writers, huh?”
MW: I don’t see the “holy shit” thought balloon coming from Mary’s head in P3 but I’m pretty sure it’s there.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: re: GA: Jesus, can you imagine being an area teenager and “Cloudy Mike” was your dad? Tauntings and savage beatings every day in high school.
re: Crock: At this point, any change would constitute improvement. A blackthorn stake through its heart would be good.
@Banana Jr. 6000: She sent Estelle back to Wilbur at least twice with full knowledge of who he is, even after he abused her cat and faked his death for comedic purposes.
@Ukulele Ike: “Mara Llave, suiting up for more adventures in 2025.” Did she have any actual adventures in 2024? If so I missed them.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Some….stuff happened. At great intervals.
I might consider the stuff an “adventure,” if I were living in an iron lung.
@InnocentBystander:
#88 JP. Hey, here’s a plot idea. Some desperate blogger was searching for photo evidence of the Abominable Snowman but discovered he instead had only “worthless” footage of a bear killing a man. Thankfully, it’s still on his trash bin.
That gets Ann out of prison, makes Randy appear smart, and gives a much-needed series appearance to our friend Rex. But will Rex answer a subpoena?
Phantom: According to old Hollywood swashbucklers the Spaniards in the goofy conquistador helmets are always the villains, the Klingons of the Elizabethan Era, warlike, mean, and stupid. Nice to see the Phantom propagating the Black Spanish Legend.
FYI: La Legenda Espanola Negra was mostly anti-Catholic propaganda by 16th Century British and Dutch Protestants to paint the Spanish as cruel and incompetent colonialists. Of course, if the Spanish were so incompetent how come they hung on to their empire in Latin America three times longer the the British hung on to India. Also, recent archeological evidence around St. Augustine, Florida, ruled by both the Spanish and English, shows that the Spanish treated their African slaves and indigenous peoples better than the English.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Thanks for this. I’m about to watch The Saragossa Manuscript for free on YouTube, and you’re gettin’ me in the mood for a three-hour surrealistic Polish/Spanish marathon.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Unless it’s a story of the Spanish soldiers looking for the fountain of youth, usually they’re the heroes, but those plots never seem to end well for them…
@The Rambling Otter:
#112. The Victor’s may write the history, but Hollywood loves the losers.
@Activist:
Oonless dey speak mit a Cherman accent.
@Activist: Per history, I’ve been trying to mentally deal with the contrast between the Robert Bolt version of Sir Thomas Moore and the Hilary Mantel version of Sir Thomas Moore. Nothing important is at stake, but my head still hurts a little.
@UncleJeff: Bwahahaha! *sob*
RMMD:
“Okay, then.”
“Bye.”
@Sequitur: HAR!!
The 2nd Phantom’s outfit is quite reminiscent of the Assassin’s Creed game franchise. Come to think of it, the Phantom’s whole deal with a generational secret society and secret history superheroism is not far off. The debate still goes on as to whether The Phantom has dodged the AC bullet of forcing the reader/player to suffer through interminable “Modern Day” story chapters which just feel like a waste of time.
GT: I thought it was only female gymnasts and ice skaters that were anorexic and/or bulimic to keep their weight down and stave off puberty, not wrestlers, where weight helps.
Then again, maybe she’s trying to stay in the weight range she competes in. I guess they do that in high school, but it must be a moving target. I didn’t know there enough female wrestlers to field teams in multiple weight ranges.
GT: BTW How big is this high school anyway? Is everyone a jock?
No science, chess, robotics, or debating team, right?
Any drama club? Art studio? Poetry or writing club?
Future Farmers of America or 4H club?
Probably no library, as how else could they afford a big stadium complete with its own live on air play-by-play recording studio.
How did Sex Organ V.D. manage to get young Henry Fonda to play the teacher?