Irrational Friday
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Six Chix, 3/14/25
Happy Pi Day, everybody! Today, 3/14, is used as a tongue-in-cheek opportunity to celebrate pi, the mathematical constant that is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and that is approximately 3.14 (though as an irrational number its digits continue on infinitely and unpredictably). Let’s celebrate by enjoying this cartoon, which features a lady baking a pie and also the world being destroyed by various means (nuclear explosion, alien attack, fires, bees, and so forth). It’s perfect! 100% great. No notes on this one.
Blondie, 3/14/25
Dagwood, if your boss is walking around the office on the Ides of March raving about being Julius Caesar and you didn’t organize a group of subordinates to stab him to death, you have failed as a man and an employee. He’s basically begging to be stabbed! Put him out of his misery, for Pete’s sake!
Gil Thorp, 3/14/25
Rodney Barnes is a great player but his previous attempts to get recruited to the next level didn’t pan out, and now we know why: he loudly yells every move he makes before he makes it. “SWIPE!” “PASS!” Can you imagine a big-time D1 or NBA player shouting this stuff on the court? Embarrassing.
Mary Worth, 3/14/25
If Wilbur has no idea whether or not Belle has kids, that means Belle DEFINITELY has never heard of Dawn. And you know what? Good for her.
83 replies to “Irrational Friday”
Weelbur doesn’t yet know Belle just discovered that she’s pregnant.
MW: That must be the last bite. Wilbur would never purposely lift such a sparsely filled fork.
Blondie-They stabbed Dithers with their knives but he just wouldn’t stay down.
Blondie-Dagwood’s narcolepsy is so bad he kept falling asleep stabbing Dithers.
MW-Meanwhile the newspaper will continue to pay Mary for writ!ng the column.
FC-And Jeffy’s card is just Daddy’s card with Jeffy’s name written instead of Daddy’s.
Luann-If only there was some other way of getting information like a blood drive out to the masses instead of flyers hanging around town. Something that you could put out so a large group of people could view at once.
“My fans can read my ‘Survivor Stories.’” His fans? Oh, good god. Wilbur has set up an OnlyFans, hasn’t he?
“Will you have to fight Mary to get it back?” I can’t decide whether this is an incredibly poor grasp of Wilbur and Mary’s actual dynamic or an attempt to rid the world of Wilbur once and for all. “Go ahead and pick a fight with Mary, Dad! Anybody else who did would end up with their corpse baked into a casserole, but nothing can kill you, right? You shouldn’t even be ALIVE, but you ARE!”
@Liam, Luann: I asked if Moonie U has a radio station. With our luck, it’s two tin cans tied by string, next to a 78 rpm turntable.
6-C – Ah, yes – annihilation by space aliens! Our long, painful experiment in human development is finally over. All Hail Zorac….
Blondie – Well…I mean, is it like a Monday holiday – shifted around the calendar so Julius always gets a workday for his little toga prancing cosplay?
GT – Land a’Goshen – they’re coming for Rod, but he ain’t got dick….
MW – Does Belle have children? Could we set up a play date….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: Belle has children. She’s so obsessed with her “important” job at Megacorp, interspersed with the occasional booty call, that they have long since cut off contact.
SxChx: I am reminded of when a group of us (women) was pondering the old “What would you do if you knew the world was ending” question. Everyone was naming things they would eat. A man joined in with, “What about sex?” We looked at each other and shrugged. So, yeah. Bring on the Armageddon pie!
Gil Thorp-“Gil Thorp” is slowly slipping into The Last Days of “Apartment 3G”. We’ve got a featureless void for a background.
MW: Megacorp? I am so ready for Mary Worth’s pivot to cyberpunk. “The sky above Santa Royale was the colour of salmon squares, made of a dead fish.”
Blondie: “No, no, Hamlet dithers, Julius Caesar acts intuitively! Do we have to re-study the psychology of every Shakespeare protagonist again?”
Six Chix-At least today isn’t a Tuesday.
MW: Clearly Wilbur inhabits a Bizarro Earth on which he is irresistible to women and his writing is so amazing that publishers are willing to pay him to produce whatever he wants and readers are eating that shit up.
MW:
“Hey, 3.1416, it’s good to have you back again…”
— Keith (adapted)
Oh. Wait a minute. It isn’t Sunday Quote Time yet.
GT: Re P2, when you depict someone nearer to the observer, you draw them proportionately larger. You should, however, do the same to the items they’re holding.
MW: I have no idea if Belle has children, Dawnie. I know absolutely nothing about her. There was no time for silly talking with all that hot sexy sex we were having. Nope, nothing but lots of sexual sexy sex with my sex partner in hot, sexy Cancun. Are you not grasping what I am, for some insane reason, making clear to you, Dawnie?
Mary Worth: I have a hunch this take of romance is going to end up being a ‘survivor story’.
GT: I always thought a Milford student was taught to be never seen nor heard.
Blondie: Just like Dithers to ruin everyone’s Pi Day by forcing them to observe the Idea of March on the Friday beforehand.
FC-Mommy doesn’t need a reminder of how many decades she’s spent trapped in the circle.
MW: This fuether supports my theory that “Belle” is much younger than Wilbur. Being named after a popular Disney princess from 1992 makes her no older than about 33. A woman age-appropriate for Wilbur would have children, or an explanation why she doesn’t.
By the way, Wilbur, the correct answer was “it was just a vacation fling, so we never discussed our families.” If this were a theoretical world where you expected anyone to believe this absurd story.
Six Chix – Here’s something I never thought I’d say. That’s funny, and really well-drawn!
MW: Wilbur’s Survivor Stories: “So, I refused the jab…”
Luann: The blood drive is a meaningless plot device. What’s relevant here is that the authors finally created a new character, deliberately made him as boring as any human can be, and dropped him into the same plot that they’ve been running for forty years — Luann and Tiffany fight over a boy.
9CL: She shows her prospective mother-in-law precisely which sex acts and positions she will use on this woman’s son once their hypothesized someday marriage comes about. Brooke must watch a lot of “Stepson, what are you doing?”
Happy Pi Day! Today’s Six Chix looks like something John Steuart Curry would have done if he had forgotten how to draw.
MW: I’m full of hope that this story installment ends with Wilbur moving out of Charterstone and moving to Orlando only to never be heard from again. One way or the other…
I read “What about you, Dad?” as a direct follow-up to Dawn’s own question, “Does Belle have children?” Dawn is either being passive-aggressive or she’s forgotten about Dawn.
SIx Chix missed the most apocalyptic scenario of all: a world in which Wilbur Weston has fans.
MW: It’s been several weeks by this point. What exactly is Wilbur doing that’s so important he can’t manage the advice column he’s being paid to write? Are he and Belle sexting 24/7? Excuse me, I have to go gouge out my eyes.
RMMD: “Yes ma’am, it’s a complicated process, and you’d need a good lawyer. Unfortunately there aren’t any in the comics any more.”
@Vice President John Adams: Wilbur has an Instagram account where he teases his fans with his scanty outfits and simulated…no, I can’t go there without retching. Sorry.
GT: “Swipe! Pass! Karate Chop!”
6Chix — Or as the meme-obsessed kids say, “This is Pi.”
GT: Larry Bird used to straight-up tell his opponent what we was going to do and then do it. That’s why he was so intimidating.
DTM: Dennis’s toxic breath.
MW: MegaCorp is actually a two-person operation. They operate a booth at local home and garden shows, rummage sales, and swap meets. They just like the name.
GT: Uh-oh, all the Skunks had to do was run out the last 15 seconds, but now they’ve carelessly turned the ball over. Hoo-wee, the new bad boy of Milford sports is gonna be pissed! He’ll be pouring sugar in Gil’s gas tank in less than five minutes after this game is over.
6C: The intended message seems to be “the world is awful, but at least we have pie,” but has veered into a Fallout-esque “the world is awful, bu hopefully this veneer of capitalism-approved normalcy will distract you from that.” Not a criticism, mind you, just an observation.
Blondie: Well, I for one am disappointed. There is no way a glutton like Dagwood doesn’t celebrate Pi Day with zealous fervor. This is another example of the War on Minor Food-Based Observances!
GT: Hey, it looks like the Mudlarks have discovered the power of basic teamwork! And just in time to barely lose to Coach Permawave’s team and officially lose their chance at the postseason!
MW: I hope Belle learns about Dawn, decides that Wilbur having a daughter is an obstacle to them being together, and throws her overboard while they’re all on Dr. Jeff’s yacht The Midlife Crisis.
RMMD: This arc has done a good job of highlighting how ineffective law enforcement is at protecting women from romantic harassment and violence. Not sure if that’s intentional, but you know, take the wins when you get them.
BB: We deserve a joke.
Gil Thorp: Jumping of Josh’s comment: The occasional verbal “Swipe!” or “Pass!” can be forgiven, but when he’s ready to make a free throw and yells “Ultimate attack! FREEE THROOOOW!!!” it’s just sad. And don’t even get me started on how he yells “Hadouken!” whenever he blocks somebody.
MARY WORTH: Wilbur: “I dunno, Dawn. Belle’s OnlyFans page doesn’t mention any children or anything” (I’m convinced these are the only “dates” Wilbur has been on with this woman. Meaning that his real long-term relationship has been with Rosie Palms all along.)
@TheDiva: Which is so funny because RMMD with it’s blandly uncontroversial milquetoast atmosphere seems like the last place that’d utilize any ACAB tropes (Not to worry though! Summer and her stone face of grim neutrality bemoaning about how “complicated” this violation to her privacy and safety is comforting return to form. That’s the old complacent RMMD spirit we know!)
GT – Hey, a giant who can wrap his hand all the way around a basketball as in panel 2 can shout anything he wants.
MW – “Will you have to fight Mary to get your column back?”
“Yes. But we’re still negotiating whether it’s going to be cage-match wrestling or mixed martial arts.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’m all dressed up, Monin! Come make me filthy!”
“Ugh! No!”
“Why are humans such slaves to their weird kinks?”
Six Chix, 3/14/25: More proof they’re just college dumbed down UNwoke €UNTS!
Hi and Lois: What kindergarten has the kids napping? Most kids stop napping around the age of 3. Also I think if you took a nap in HS your peers would draw things on your face with permanent marker and that’s the best case scenario.
Marvin: Looks like Bitsy is finally going to kill off this awful family and apparently he’s seen the movie “Oldboy”
Beetle Bailey: Good point, Why doesn’t the US military charge the troops for their room and board and uniforms? The military is like being at a fun summer camp, right?
Six Chix: 3.14 being associated with the apocalypse is news to me.
Blondie: Dagwood’s narcolepsy is getting so bad that even his boss having some kind of presumably dementia-related psychotic breakdown in the middle of the office and thinking he’s a centuries-dead Roman dictator can’t keep him awake in the long term.
Gil Thorp: Hearing that a group of sweaty, angry men charging at you are coming for rod has gotta be one of the scariest things imaginable if you’re not nicknamed Rod.
Mary Worth: I bet Mary is watching this conversation through her network of surveillance devices installed throughout Charterstone, pondering whether she should pressure Wilbur to lean into this new relationship for the sake of heteronormativity or manipulate him into breaking it off on the basis that it might be an interracial relationship. Which arch-conservative viewpoint will win out?
All I can really say about today’s Six Chix is that focusing on something that makes you happy while the world around you burns is, uh, definitely relatable these days.
RWO: Uber Fleas.
Uh, Josh, I bet those are suppose to be locusts, not bees.
I love how Wilbur will not stop bringing up Belle’s obviously fake job. I can’t wait for him to get scammed again.
Maybe this is kicking an Atazhoon when he’s open, but the art in Gil Thorp is just unconscionably bad. What’s going on? Are they contractually forbidden from hiring an artist who can draw?
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Six Chix:
“I’m making this for Hall of Fame third baseman Pi Traynor!”
GT: More proof that the artist and the editors know nothing about basketball.
At the organized sport level, the numbers 6, 7, 8 and 9 are barred from use on basketball jerseys.
(the NBA has now also stopped the use of the number 6 in honor of Bill Russell, who wore that number with the Celtics. George Mikan wore 98 for the Minneapolis Lakes, but that was back in the Pleistocene Era of the NBA).
It’s so the referees can better communicate with the official scorer on the player making the foul.
(Most referees don’t have more than five digits on their hands)
Basketball is, I believe, unique in that they keep track of the fouls called on individual players for the purpose of eventually disqualifying them from the game.
The use of hand signals to the scorers would be confusing if the refs had to go over after every call to explain the foul was on #8 rather than #35.
@Old School Allie Cat: The really brutal Six Chix strips are by Tuesday chick (art that is, to be charitable, an acquired taste, and consistently terrible writing) and by Thursday chick (straight-up AWFUL art and wacked-out writing that is very occasionally SO weird it’s funny.)
You WILL see reasonably good Six Chix from time to time on Wednesdays and Fridays … and less often (but not never) on Mondays and Saturdays. So if there’s gonna be a Six Chix that gets a full-on four-star review, Wednesday or Friday is the day it’ll probably happen.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
@UncleJeff: I learned something new and interesting today — thanks!
@Lurker Who Seldom Posts: You’re welcome.
If MW keeps with the lewd innuendo, it may fuse with 9CL and create a comic so gross no amount of curmudeonliness can stop it.
MW: The only “fans” that Wilbur has are the OnlyFans accounts that he’s been giving money to so that he can see them opening jars of mayonnaise.
@some guy: Mary will have to leave her muffins at home if everyone is hanging out at a fuckpond in New Hampshire. And Dawn will have to change her college major so she can become a world class musician.
However, the really bad part will be the lovingly detailed and shaded artwork of Mary’s legs.
Worse: Lovingly detailed and shaded artwork of Wilbur’s legs.
Worst: Lovingly detailed and shaded artwork of Saul Winters’s legs.
Get your barf bags ready.
I feel like this is a rerun. Outside love interest with very authentic name “Belle Batsfrey” will tell Wilbur she needs $10,000 to move to California, and he will will learn a painful lesson when the payment clears and she ghosts him. That’s what’s happening, right? Because it’s happened at least twice before and I don’t particularly follow Mary Worth stories. Although it’s fine I guess since at least Wilbur gets hurt
@I speak Jive: I can’t wait for Charterstone’s super stereotyped St. Patrick’s Day where they make Saul dress up as a leprechaun while they drink virgin whiskey sours except for Toby who already had two boxes of wine.
6Chix: Oh my stars and garters…M Patrinos is the author of the weekly comic strip “Working Cats,” which I greatly enjoy! I must say that she is one of the better artists for 6 Chix.
@jvwal: Given that Wilbur is somehow able to afford living in a place like Charterstone while doing a syndicated newspaper column, I think you’re actually describing the world of Mary Worth accurately.
MW: This whole Megacorp name reminds me of back in the 80s and 90s when there were still job ads in the newspaper classifieds. Every phoney, baloney pyramid scheme sales job would say “national company seeks”. What, you’re too embarrassed to give out your company’s name? When Exxon-Mobil hires they don’t say “international oil conglomerate seeks”. They’re quite proud of who they are.
GA: Over the last three days one question looms:. Where’s Walt?
FC – As if Billy would know how old his mother is!
@Tom: Given the drivel-river that Mary pours into that alleged advice column, I agree that the world of MW is being described as it is. Reading what Mary writes is like trying to swim through rancid leftover oatmeal.
JP: Oh, Jesus H. Christ, Randy. Your ne’er-do-well sister was out of sight, out of mind for over 20 years and you never gave her a second thought. Now you’re crying about her being gone for two? Boo-hoo-hoo.
@Guillermo el chiclero: MW: Surely any company would be embarrassed about hiring Wilbur, though. His current job is literally under an alias.
@Activist: The question that looms over me is how much more of this I can take. The usual GA pattern has been that I reach a point where I can’t stand GA anymore, quit for a few weeks, and then hop back on the crazy train. I’ve been riding steadily for more than two years now, but this week has got me edging toward the door again.
Happy Pi Day to all maths nerds in countries that put the month before the day! (You can’t get a Pi Day in d/m/y format, but I believe the 22nd of July is Approximate Pi Day.)
Blondie: I’m baffled that after years of, as Josh commented on Sunday, making absolutely sure their National Whatever Day strips run on the appropriate day, the Blondie creative team decide to run an Ides of March joke the day before the Ides of March. I guess there was just no way to make a joke about Pi Day fit Dagwood’s established characterisation. Does he even have any opinions about pie? Who knows!
Crank: I’m pretty sure there’s all kinds of reasons you can’t transfer your kids to a different school because they’re trialling a policy you like, especially if everyone else is trying the same thing. I would normally be a bit lenient on a gag strip setting up an absurd situation in the service of a joke, and if at any point this sequence has a joke in it, I’ll certainly do that.
DT: Okay, so somebody stumbled on a dead body in the park, stole the person’s wallet, stuffed it into a church (or possibly mosque? I don’t think the outfits are quite right for that either, but whatever) poor box, and included a note explaining where it came from? What possible reason could there be for that?? Trick question, we’re in Costello Town, where things don’t need reasons to happen, as long as they form a clear line of footprints leading from Dick to the villain!
FG: Wait, so now Flash actually saved Dr Tyr’s life? So why’s she so down on him? I’m very confused. But the difference between Dan Schkande and, say, Eric Costello, is that my confusion here feeds my interest in seeing how this all eventually fits together, rather than congealing into a resigned certainty that it really won’t.
GT: “Athazoon is wide open! In fact, he’s never been more wide open, as Milford’s controversial decision to replace the basketball court with the Infinite Void continues to disorient the opposition!”
JP: Quick reminder that Randy a) hadn’t seen Ann for decades until recently and b) was utterly convinced she was a murderess who deserved to rot in there forever until he suddenly wasn’t. I feel like someone should remember these things, and clearly it’s not going to be anyone appearing in or involved in creating the strip.
@not emberley:The weird thing is, I checked out some of Rachel Merrill’s other work when she was first announced. And she can draw! Some of her work’s very stylised, sure, but it’s not … this. When she started on Gil Thorp it wasn’t really this either. All I can think is that the daily schedule isn’t for everyone.
@Guillermo el chiclero: True. And come to think of it, Ann’s father seemed to be doing fine without her also. One might almost possibly perhaps maybe guess that Ann just popped up out of absolutely nowhere, like a previously-unknown cousin on THE GUIDING LIGHT. If the story is going in that direction anyway, I’d like someone to get hit on the head and acquire amnesia. Neddy would be suitable.
@Horace Broon: I am disappointed in Randy. One moment, as you point out, he’s wildly flaming toward permanent estrangement, and the next moment, he’s sniveling at even the possibility of not having Ann in his life every day. Hahaha, April, you are now the stable one in your marriage, and isn’t that bizarre.
RMMD: Ma’am, you mean that big galoot sitting next to you can’t take care of one skinny punk? Buddy, you are one waste of a square jaw. Do you know how many real men would love to have a square jaw like yours? Turn in your man card now!
Pluggers – That small sliver of the Venn diagram where Pluggers and rappers overlap.
Blondie: “It was during my naptime so I only stabbed Dithers once. And not even in a vital area!”
GT: Wow, the basketball itself is making suggestions. Question is whether the ref will allow it.
MW: I was going to write something here but Wilbur made a reference to his “fans” and now I have to take a few minutes to compose myself.
MW: “I’m currently focused on my job at Megacorp” is pretty clearly a made-up excuse.
Pluggers: Does this mean that singer-activist k.d. lang, highjacker DB Cooper, blues legend BB King, retail pioneer JC Penny, impresario PT Barnum, and character actor LQ Jones were all proud pluggers?
C-Shaft: The “walking” part because Crankshaft and his cronies are representative Centerville school bus drivers.
Dustin: I’m sorry, Hayden, but you wear glasses. That means you have to be a school-loving nerd according to the laws of the comic strip universe. Suck it up.
HtH: Schooling in the Middle Ages was mostly seen to by religious institutions. Hagar is an illiterate who lives by robbing and killing, and not even in the name of the king. He’s no one’s poster boy.
JP: “Part of my training was to assess people…for the purpose of assassinating them. And let me tell you, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere with your sister unless we slipped her a mickey. That’s reassuring, isn’t it, dear?”
Luann: Hilariously, it turns out that Phil has no authority to hold a blood drive anywhere. He’s just a serial killer who thinks he’s a vampire.
RMMD: But the hope is that he’ll do like everyone else and just lose interest in the whole thing.
@Guillermo el chiclero: TS Eliot came so close to calling his landmark poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Plugger.”
@Liam:
Dithers is the beast from the Hotel California?
Another day, another bafflingly terrible Six Chix. Although, I must give credit where credit is due and congratulate this one for actually having a full panel of pretty well-done art instead of the usual half-assery (speaking of which, Gil Thorp’s art is awful as has become normal).