Jokes, drugs, etc.
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Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/24/25
One of my favorite terms of art from the world of standup comedy is “street joke.” A street joke is a joke a comic tells on stage that they didn’t write — but isn’t one that they lifted from another comic or writer, which is a significant sin among standups. Instead, a street joke is just one you heard from someone who heard it from someone who heard it from someone, or (in these days where most jokes spread online) from someone who saw it in a blurry, repeatedly reposted meme of some sort. Upon reading today’s Mother Goose and Grimm, I immediately pegged its dialogue as a street joke, and some quick searches confirmed my instinct: you can find it posted in uncanny Facebook groups called things like “Strange World” and “Deep Relationships,” tagged as being of “disputed origin” on a post in the r/quotes subreddit, or for sale on human made merch on Etsy or truly upsetting AI-generated t-shirts on Amazon. There are, of course, worse sins than putting a street joke in your comic strip, though I must once again remind comics creators that if your main characters are anthropomorphic birds, and you put in street jokes that involve birds, it really leaves the reader puzzling over whether the birds in the joke are also supposed to be anthropomorphic birds that the main characters interact with, like do the rooster-men in the Mother Goose and Grimm world scream like a person every morning or what, and frankly I don’t think that’s really the effect you’re going for with this.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/24/25
Oh, just to keep you up to date on the Rex Morgan, M.D., stalker plot: the stalker got kicked out of the museum, and then Augie and Summer went to the cops and they were like “What do you expect us to do, protect you somehow? Get back to us when he’s actually murdered you or something,” and so they went back to Summer’s place and Augie agreed to stand guard. Then there was a loud noise, which implied that something exciting happened, but nope! Nothing exciting happened. Just Augie accidentally closing a door too vigorously! More on this story as it continues, against all odds, to fail to develop.
Sam and Silo, 3/24/25
The thing I like about this strip is that Sam doesn’t respond to Silo without prompting. Frankly, it’s as if he wasn’t really talking to Silo in the first panel to begin with. This was all an internal monologue! “Why is this guy even talking to me,” he thinks to himself. Anyway, these two are supposedly best friends and spend all their time together.
Alice, 3/24/25
Big news, everyone: it seems that Alice, the title character in the syndicated newspaper strip Alice, has discovered the recreational drug known as “marijuana”. Brace yourself, things could get wacky!
145 replies to “Jokes, drugs, etc.”
RMMD:
“I had the weirdest dream, Augie! — I flipped on a March Madness pregame telecast on my bedroom TV just before I drifted off, and the next thing you know, I dreamed that Wally Szczerbiak’s eyebrows had come to life and were crawling toward me!”
RMMD: The twist is that’s not Augie, it’s the stalker wearing Augie’s skin.
Sam and Silo started out as “Sam’s Strip” a comic that sadly, (like with Abraham and Zucker’s “Police Squad” after it) failed because it was so over-the-top meta (it was a comic strip about being a character in the production of a comic strip) and such humor “supposedly” went over the readers heads.
Sam’s Strip was years later retooled into the “safe” (i.e boring and unfunny as s***) Sam and Silo which unlike Sam’s Strip (which only lasted two years) has been running since the 70’s.
So remember that Sam and Silo is the “more popular” comic strip here, because the syndicate says so.
Baldo – Spanish to English:
P1 Honestly, I don’t think I’m cynical.
P2 But if I am. . .
P3 It’s because before today I was portrayed as a third generation Latino with virtually no mastery of Spanish and now I speak it fluently.
Alice: Beep Beep Alex Trebek: “What is ‘Half-assed’? What is half-assed”
RMMD: The question that comes to mind is: WHY was Augie taking a look out the door in the middle of the night? Possibly he wanted to see what was getting into the garbage. Or was it a nightingale he’d heard that piqued his interest? Was it the romantic flickering of fireflies that drew him into the soft night? Or maybe, just MAYBE, he was actually just coming BACK inside after a clandestine payoff meeting with the stalker he’d actually hired to kill Summer.
@Ken: Damn, you beat me-but mine was going to involve an Augie mask.
RMMD:
“Purple walls, huh, Summer?”
“Yep! — they go great with my pulsating strobe lights!”
MW: (Pats belly) “Aren’t you happy to see us!“
@MKay: @Ken: “Oh Augie, what a big goatee you have!”
@Ken:
LOL – I was just thinking the same, before I saw your comment.
That would sure be a lot more fun than what we’ll get!
RMMD:
“What was that noise?”
“Oh, just Rene Belluso insinuating himself onto the premises.”
“Whew! — what a relief! For a second there, I thought it might be that creepy Telko character!”
Alice tries desperately to remember where those strange light-studded trellises that loom over her city come from. Unfortunately it’s too late. The aliens’ thought suppression towers have already been switched on. As the hypnowaves sweep through her brain, her subconscious sends one last final message. It’s part of… something.
Mother Goose and Grimm: So the joke isn’t that the roosters need their morning Celebrex® or hydrocodone or whatnot, it’s that they wake up horny. That’s the joke, right? Bang a hen, get it on? I’m going with that as the joke, it’s too depressing to imagine grandfathers across the nation opening up the morning newspaper and saying “That’s right, that’s me, I feel like screaming.”
@Schroduck: ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD. OR HYPNOALICE, AS THE CASE MAY BE.
MGG: What really makes this joke is that in our world, roosters screaming is just silly animal behavior, but in this world, presumably there are chicken people like Mother Goose who get up in the morning just screaming their lungs out for an hour before sitting down for a coffee and toast.
RMMD: Ironic, these two can’t sleep but just reading this strip makes me drowsy…
S&S: There’s something I really don’t like about Sam’s character design, and I think it’s the fact that his face is just three lumps that are almost interchangeable.
Alice: Sure, it looks like nonsense on paper, but sing it in Eddy Vedder’s voice and it’s top ten alt-rock hit in 1994.
MW: Oh, God, Wilbur actually looks happy.
Sam and Silo: When I was young, my mother would take leftovers and feed them into a portable grinder that clamped to the edge of a table, and sometimes we kids would get to turn the handle to produce that delicious, delicious ham salad. Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes, let’s talk about how modern comic strips are created.
MW: This whole “not talking about the kids” thing is going to be really funny when Kate Gosselin there tells Wilbur that she’s got 8 kids….HILARITY AND HIJINX ABOUND
Next week, Alice figures out how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
Mary Worth: “I didn’t realize you’d take me up on that so quickly…and without prior notice, filed with the court and my probation officer eight to twelve months in advance!”
MW: Wilbur was visibly several inches shorter than Belle in yesterday’s strip. Today they’re the same height. I have to assume that he opened the door, fled to his bedroom, and returned in his cowboy boots before beginning this conversation.
MW: I’m betting Batts Belfrey doesn’t even work at Megacorp.
She just took a 2-week vacation, goes back for two weeks, and then takes *another vacation?* And this is a person Wilbur describes as “immersed in her work?” Huge red flag, but Wilbur will completely miss it.
Wary Morth:
You know already that Belle is a villain because she went “heh heh heh” on the aeroplane and who but a villain goes “heh heh heh”. But we duct need Moy and Brigman telling us that. After all, who but a villain would ever “romance” Weelbur W?
FC: Bil responds to Billy’s query. “Stephen Greenblatt answers that question in his essay contained in this Norton Critical Edition of Chicken Little. So, shut up and listen.”
RMMD: “I’m really sorry, Summer. I opened the door hoping your stalker would be there so something could happen in this endless slog, but the writer wouldn’t allow for that much excitement. So in frustration, I slammed the door.”
Alice: This reads like terrible improv poetry.
@Ukranazi Stepan: The most vile of villains says HAW HAW HAW instead.
@Ukranazi Stepan: Yeah, in PMD: Gates to Infinity, a few scenes had characters running while going “Hahhahhah!!”
The given reason was to indicate that they were exhausted, but honestly, it felt more like a fit of insane laughter.
MW: “And without prior notice!” Yeah, that’s totally believable dialogue.
Well, you’re in for it now, Willie boy. You dipped your wick, and now you’re gonna get burned.
RMMD: Just have her sit down next to you, Augie. You bored her to sleep last time, so it should work again.
GT: Has anyone anywhere at any time ever done a play-by-play broadcast of a high school girls wrestling match? And perhaps more important, has anyone ever listened to such a broadcast? I could be wrong, but I’m guessing the answers are no one, nowhere, never.
@Ukranazi Stepan: I’m just wondering if, despite being obviously evil, how long we’re going to question if Moy intends Belle to be hated or sympathized with? The lines are so blurred at this point with this comic.
Alice: An elderly woman, stoned out of her gourd, wandering around an industrial area in her housedress, muttering inanities to herself.
My sound wisdom would tell me to call 911, stat!
MW – Belle reminds me of a calico cat, and in my experience, calicos are equal parts sweet as pie and mean as hell. Often at the same time. So, yeah.
MW: The look on Wilbur’s face suggests that he’s going to need a change of pants. It’s up to the audience to guess what caused it.
I feel like all the villains of my childhood reading used “haw haw”‘s as a signifier of badness. From The Hardy Boys’ foes to Bugs Meany in Encyclopedia Brown to perps in The Three Investigators to the king of the haw-haw, Goofus. Dropping g’s was another. Sort of the childhood equivalent of facial hair in Mark Trail.
@LTJpezcore1: “Eight kids, no custody!”
Because roosters have been forcibly bread into a species that couldn’t survive without the protection of people, and if humanity falls then so do they? Well, that or they’re aware of their future as nuggets. Either way, that’s a lot of self-awareness for such tiny brains.
SlyF – Well, the obvious answer is that the canvas on stage right has fresh paint drippings in front of it, and so was just completed. But with Koppy Kat, that’s never the real question. The real question is “how did he fuck it up this time.” And the legal question is whether, Koppy having created a work that subverts the original to cheekily comment on gender role fluidity in the animal kingdom, this is a commentary on the original and constitutes fair use.
JP: If he would just tell her where the job is, she wouldn’t have to play all these guessing games. But that’s the genius of this strip. It’s the way they create and maintain suspense.
CS: So Ed Crankshaft is the SWAT team? And they sent him into someone’s house to take care of the fly? Is that what’s supposed to be going on here? Or is it something even stupider?
FC: Chicken Little didn’t need to check any stupid news sources. She “did her own research.”
Phantom: Let me guess. She spotted a fully dressed man wearing cement shoes on the ocean floor.
@Needless Exposition: The BEST kind of 8 kids, some might say!**
**She definitely says this
@richardf8: Koppy Kat’s “… Come on in?” is because Slylock, with his usual sub-Dick-Tracy respect for the law, has just barged straight in without asking or knocking, must less presenting a search warrant.
FC:
Bil: Remember when we saw Moana, Billy? In the actual Maui legends he did raise up the sky. Before then, people had to crawl on their hands and knees 24/7… But who is to say that Maui’s act will stick? Maybe it will fall back down? Better go outside and check Billy, check for as long as you can!
JP – Yeah, we’ve got an environmental cleanup NGO doing some work on a rocket crash site in some place called . . . Bangalla?
And thus Sophie will finally meet her bübelganger, Heloise.
RMMD-Augie was just paying off some strange guy out in the bushes.
MW-There clearly is something the matter with Belle. No one willingly travels to Santa Royale.
FC-Daddy is reading the children’s edition of Mao’s Little Red Book.
“Augie, what did I do to deserve this?!?!”
“I get it! Getting a stalker is bad enough! But two?!”
“What?!”
“Nothing”
Sam knew something was wrong when he couldn’t taste the mercury
Mother Goose and Grimm – Street jokes are public domain jokes that are popular to share among people who don’t get out in public or the streets much, which is basically the audience for Mother Goose and Grimm.
Rex Morgan, MD – Terry Beatty accidentally stumbled upon one of the early A24 atmospheric horror films, where things develop slowly with high tension, and thought that would work with the slow pace of the soap opera strips. What he forgot is having characters and situations that would give readers any reason to care enough to feel tension.
Sam and Silo – Sam, a sheriff, doesn’t take accountability for his own errors unless pressured to. Hundreds of innocent people sit in prison because this trait.
Alice – This joke really sells if Alice is published below Heathcliff in your local newspaper
I know why roosters start the day screaming. I too have seen the darkness take form, a form so terrible and wonderful that when I awake, I awake screaming. Screaming in tongues lost to men and beasts, screaming for my absent past and terrible future. Maybe back at MACV, maybe in Tan Son Nhut, the roosters wake up in proper order, heralding the sun and the valorous lies of the day to come. But out here, in the jungle, the roosters scream before the sun shows a shameful light on our crimes and our victories, they scream to the moon and the stars. The next rooster that screams will die, and I shall dine.
“So you see, Willard, that Mother Goose has reached her breaking point, and, very obviously, she has gone insane.”
RMMD: Stalker dude breaks in after Augie falls asleep and heads towards Summer’s bedroom. He sees the potato chip collage hanging outside the door and does an about face. “Even I have standards;” he mutters.
@LTJpezcore1: From what I’ve gathered, only ONE of her kids can stand her because she was molded into Kate’s mini me. The other kids were either abused or rejected and so they ended up going to their dad who had a smear campaign against him thanks to him not wanting to be involved with TLC exploiting his family.
MG&G: Why do the female birds in this comic have breasts (mammaries)? Have you ever seen a chicken breast feed its chicks?
The chicken breasts they sell at the supermarket don’t have nipples.
We thought legacy strips could not get any lazier, but we never considered pressing the Share button on Facebook was an option
@Anonymous: they don’t?!?! Then what did I eat?!
MG&G — They’re no screaming, they’re crowing. Because they just got laid–but i totally get why Mother Goose can’t tell the difference. . .
RMMD — “I haven’t been able to sleep a wink. Every time I close my eyes I have a vision of being cast into a infinite black void with this guy who looks like . . . Um, maybe I will take that pill. . .
RMMD: I guess the slamming door was a red herring meant to distract from the real plot development, which is that Summer messaged the lady on social media who had posted about Goatee McStalker’s evil ways. We should have known that IMing a stranger was about as exciting as this strip would ever get.
S&S: If you’re able to mistake your ham salad for bad tuna, I’d suggest you shouldn’t be eating the ham salad either.
BROKE: Sam doesn’t taste
WOKE: “Sam and Silo” is tasteless
@Ettorre: I told you to stop buying your meat at the Gein farm.
@Voshkod: But where else can I find quality local meat at a price that won’t hurt my budget?
@Old School Allie Cat: Torties and calico are my weakness. They are the same, 99% genetically, and share the same tortie attitude.
@Needless Exposition: That’s, genuinely, awful. And I now don’t even feel a little bit bad about making fun of her.
Also we should hope to get a storyline that juicy in MW…
Alice: At least on my computer screen the first line was clearly “It’s always a fart”. So dissappointed when Josh made me realize I’d misread it.
@LTJpezcore1: Yeah, she fully deserves any and all mockery coming to her.
As for the storyline, I just hope that they keep the “Dawn and Belle compete for Wilbur’s attention” at a minimum because who in their right mind would actively seek out Wilbur? Personally I would rather see Belle making both Westons miserable.
@Needless Exposition: Well, there’s this place in Canada . . . .
C’shaft: Hey look, Crankshaft’s many crimes against humanity have caught up with him, and he’s about to face a SWAT team armed with nothing but a flyswatter! This may very well be the best Crankshaft ever!
JP: “But since you brought it up, we’re about to launch a private colonial mission and we need breeding stock…”
Luann: The good news is if Brad keeps up all this planning, he’ll never actually get around to getting Toni pregnant.
MT: Damn, good thing the convention’s not in Vegas, that would have really blown Mark’s tiny mind.
MW: “Well, the last time I hooked up with a woman way out of my league on vacation it turned out she was scamming me….but I’ve got a real good feeling about this!”
Phantom: The idiots swam right into Charybdis.
H&L: “Also, I think we just broke our necks.”
Curtis: “Now Curtis, I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger…”
@Voshkod: Fun fact: I used to have one patient who lived near the Gein farm, and another who was a teacher at the institution where he was confined. According to the teacher, ol’ Ed was just a regular guy.
Alice – Not.
MG&G – Even I have to admit, it a tough life for poultry….
RMMD – When seconds count, the police are just minutes away….
S&S – Oh… I just remembered – everything in this strip stinks…..
Alice – Ask not, for whom the bowl flushes – it flushes for Alice….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Vanya: #60 — Same misreading here. It’s always a —? Oh, never mind.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I haven’t seen my old investment manager since he put together that big deal for me”
“Maybe we should work together again. I think I’ll go see him”
“Call me in six to ten years and we’ll do lunch, Don Abundio!”
[Sign: PRISON VISITING HOURS]
Rex Morgan: This might be the ultimate nadir of Rex Morgan’s aversion to having anything even mildly interesting happen. What other piece of media would have a plot line about a stalker consist of the characters just standing around talking about how one of them shut the door slightly too hard but no harm done so no reason to worry about anything?
Sam And Silo: Sam and Silo strike me as the kind of “friends” who actually can’t stand one another but hang out simply because nobody else will give them the time of day.
Alice: Alice seems to be slowly developing sentience and trying to say something that actually makes sense for once. More on this story as it develops.
@Needless Exposition:
@Voshkod: But where else can I find quality local meat at a price that won’t hurt my budget?
PriceCo!
Allowing, of course, for a certain amount of flexibility in your estimation of “quality.”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: “Just regular ol’ Ed, totally normal guy, ‘cept for all the mutilatin’ and murderin’.”
Honestly, Midwest nice can go too far.
Mark Worth: The conflict will be that Wilbur should go to support Dawn at vegan karaoke, but Belle is dismissive of this and demands he go to some steakhouse. Dawn will be miserable, Wilbur will have anxiety, and Belle’s hired goons will rob the Weston property of everything worthwhile, leaving only the emptiest of empty mayonnaise cans.
MG&G – A fact that seems to be little-known among city slickers (or in my case, suburban slickers) is that roosters don’t just crow in the morning. If you’ve ever had a rooster or lived near someone who does, you know that roosters crow ALL THE DAMN TIME. It’s just extra annoying in the morning. My point is, the older I get, the more I realize why roosters scream CONSTANTLY.
CS: About time! Somebody finally swatted Crankshat!
GT: Does Inma get points for the uniform quick-change between panels 2 & 3?
LuAnn: The mullet ain’t helping TJ make his case.
RMMD: ….zzzzz….Oh, pardon me! Dozed off for a bit there…I have no comment except I always find it weird how Rex Morgan characters continually talk with their lips firmly closed. This Auggie here seems to have the ability to open his mouth about an inch. I point this out because it reminds me of a neighbor who had treatment for cancer that left him unable to open his mouth. His jaw was frozen shut. Poor guy moved away so I don’t know what happened with him.
JP: Ahhhhhhh! Face edit! Face edit! Adjust eyes! Add some sort of lines to avoid Botox references!
Christ, Manley, don’t you look at what you draw before you mail it in? And how exactly did you accomplish this — by tracing around an egg?
GT: Loving this wrestling match, or is it an homage to Braque and Cubist-era Picasso?
@BeckoningChasm: Sounds like a fun time for the rest of us. The only flaw is that Dawn is pretty lax about that vegan diet probably to the point where she has to be reminded about her diet so you’re better off having her humiliation be boy related. Or maybe Belle can point out her “cold sore” in the loudest and most obnoxious way possible.
Alice: Speaking of familiar jokes…. Alice is in some weird abstract environment, but there’s a tipi behind her and a second one in front of her. Which means her whole situation is too tense!
Sam and Silo: Sam is used to eating those diagonally cut, disturbingly bland tuna sandwiches from the refrigerated case at 7-11. But he ended up buying a ham salad sandwich from somewhere else, and is shocked to discover that it has any kind of flavor at all. (The punch line was originally going to refer to egg salad, but who is he, John D. Rockefeller?)
Pluggers: Forget the caption on today’s strip… From the image, it’s obvious that this plugger poured a bit too much whiskey into his coffee this morning. Now he’s drunk and it’s only 10 a.m., and he doesn’t know what to do about it!
Based on the actual reasons that roosters crow in the morning, Mother Goose has a harem of studly ganders, and each morning she loudly tells the other women in the neighborhood to find their own men.
Luann: Not proud of the fact that, in the mists of comic strip time, I shipped her and Aaron, as well as Brad and Toni. Maybe the Evans Industrial Complex concluded some time ago, that 9CL gave shipping in comics a bad name.
Don Abundio, take 2:
“My old ex-accountant was an expert at working right up to the edge of what’s legal”
“I wonder if he has any hot new tips for me. I’ll go ask him”
“Don’t narrate your thoughts out loud when you think no one is listening, Don Abundio!”
[Sign: PRISON VISITING HOURS]
Please see my comment yesterday at #141. Re: obscure comic praise and recommendation.
The French title is Les Nombrils, which unfortunately translates to The Bellybuttons. Canadian Mean Girls plus one Nice Girl. Yes, it’s teenagers, but think Clone High in tone rather than Archie. Eight books, about 50 pages each, in English translation. Great jokes, also suspense, treachery, a serial killer, rock and roll. No nudity, or sex past first base. Addictive cartoony art style a la Chuck Jones — enormous boingy eyeballs when shocked, steam coming out of ears when angry, etc.
The first two books are essentially two-pager joke strips, but things quickly start to complicate, characters deepen, plots ripen. At that point you don’t want it to end.
Try it. Fun. Link goes to Internet Archive, god bless ‘em because the books are out of print and cost a fortune online.
Re: the Amazon link: Now we know what happens when AI tries to recreate Wayland Flowers’s beloved-to-some-probably puppet friend Madame. Let’s not let it happen again.
Alice: She has gotten stoned and has been listening to Billy Idol singing “Eyes Without A Face.” She’s going to steal a car, go to Las Vegas. Ooh, gigolo pool!
Archie: Pro tip. If your macaroni and cheese looks like a pile of brown diarrhea with a dead fish in it. DON’T EAT IT!
@Sequitur: It’s OK. I just remembered, I ordered ham salad.
Mother Goose and Grimm-Roosters suffer from severe PTSD. That’s why they scream in the morning.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Sam and Silo-“This jelly tastes weird.” “Yeah it’s been on my crotch.”
Lalo Y Lola Spanish to English.
Special for SCRATCHY!
Tips for great grooming.
“Sam, you’re eating it!”
“Well, yeah! I have no will to live!”
Why do cocks rise in the morning? Horniness or existential despair?
I recently discovered that one of my streaming services has Hardware Wars. So I did, in fact, order Ham Salad. And Augie Ben-Doggie, and 4Q2.
@Peanut Gallery: Have never raised chickens myself but my brother does, and can confirm roosters do NOT shut up. And if they’re yelling because of existential dread, why would they?
(All this crowing talk is reminding me of one of my favorite MST3K riffs of all time from the movie Jack Frost, where several roosters are shown crowing and Tom Servo remarks, “Wow, Peter must be going around denying everyone today!”)
Since Mother Goose is a bird, she obviously met the rooster in question last night at a singles bar, where, after both were sufficiently inebriated, they decided to return to her place; and, waking up in the next morning with a bad hangover, he opened his eyes, realized where he was, and immediately regretted all of his life choices. And looking in a mirror, she can only empathize with his regrets. This is way too heavy for a comics page on a rainy Monday morning.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/24/25: The young rooster crows “cock a doodle doo” and the old hen replies “ANY COCK WILL DO!”
Sam and Silo, 3/24/25: Does Sam have cyclopia?
I had a dream the other night that the guy behind Barney Google and Snuffy Smith kicked the bucket and the strip was ending, and in the dream I immediately came here after finding out, to see what Josh and everyone had to say about it. I can only assume it wasn’t a prophetic dream, or it would have been on the news by now. Anyway, how’s things?
@BeckoningChasm:
Belle’s hired goons will rob the Weston property of everything worthwhile, leaving nothing disturbed.
FTFY
@Ukulele Ike: He accomplished it the usual way – putting exactly as much care into the art as Ces puts into the writing.
@Sequitur: Thank you for this. I was once asked to find a use case for AI. Boom! Done!
Bizarro – If Baja is still following the comics, I hope he avoids this.
Mary Worth – I planned to comment about how unrealistic and unbelievable Wilbur’s dialogue was, but @Cleveland Mocks: #29 beat me to it.
No human being would ever say “without prior notice” to a former fling who visits unexpectedly. (“Oh, I didn’t know you were coming. You didn’t text.”) Time to go back to the mother ship to recalibrate that human speech system.
Rex Morgan – Heaven forbid that anything would happen. Summer may not be able to sleep, but it’s a snoozefest here in readerland.
Far Side – The third one is not safe for Melody Mare.
Looks Good On Paper – I can think of a few cartoonists (*cough* Batiuk * cough) who pull their ideas out of the other end.
Pluggers – It’s a good thing he didn’t drink that coffee in November. He’d be up all winter.
Rhymes With Orange, Last Kiss, One Big Happy – All of these made me laugh, for different reasons.
@4 richardf8:
Let’s see how close you were…
Yep. Close enough.
What the squirrels are chattering about outside your window in the morning.
@Sequitur:Mrs. Rosner (seventh grade Spanish) would be so proud!
@108 richardf8:
I’m sure she would give you a pat on the head right now.
@The Rambling Otter: Apparently ZAZ weren’t too heart broken about Police Squad!’s early retirement, they didn’t think they could have keep the quality going much longer, but I disagree, as long as the QM catalog of shows held out, they’d have plenty of material to work with.
@Ken: RMMD: The twist is that’s not Augie,
__________________
…….It’s Doggy Daddy!
Call Roto-Rooster™, that’s the name/and away goes screaming fowl, down the drain!
@Sequitur:
Its funnier when Trixie hits Hi over the head with a frying pan while screaming, “iNo es la Mama!, no es la Mama!”
The sad thing is there really is a Megacorp: https://www.megacorplogistics.com/ I was driving by it one day and saw their sign. I searched it online just to make sure.
Are we going to have scammer 2.0, or is Belle just going to be nuts? Or both? Whatever it’ll be, it’ll be boring and badly-written!
@Mountain Mama:
Well at least she doesn’t work for MAGA Corps.
HI-YOOOO!
FG: This took a sudden turn. I was hoping the barmaid had a story about an encounter with Flash. She took him to her place after her shift, fucked his brains out, and gentleman that he was, he made her breakfast the next morning.
@Inspector Gotcha: ROFL!
Ahhh, the fond memories of reading Mother Goose’s Tales Of Existential Despair. I kept it on the shelf next to my copies Golden Books Murder/Suicide and Garfield Does Some Shit, Who Cares?
@GarrisonSkunk: It was even better when Dinosaurs did it.
@GarrisonSkunk: I had no idea Roto-Rooter was a national franchise. I honestly thought that is was just some local Colorado company with a schlocky jingle and bad production values that could only afford to advertise on our UHF channel back in the day.
Mother Goose: “My boyfriend says it’s normal for roosters to crow in the morning. But it sure sounded like a scream when I came out of the shower.”
MW: “Aren’t you happy to see me?” Belle you’re more perceptive than I thought you to be. You can probably make the flight back, if you hurry.
Blondie-The story ends with Dithers beating Dagwood.
Beetle Bailey-It’s a shame that there are no superior officers Beetle can report Sarge to for the constant abuse he receives.
Ziggy-Ziggy, it means you get a muffin without a Mary Worth lecture.
AC: “O-kaay, I’ll be sure to tell the chef not to put any ‘work’ into the food.”
“Heh. You might want to rephrase that, it sounds like…”
“I know what it sounds like.”
Curtis: I think Greg’s slightly off-base here. I will criticise Michelle for a lot of things but, in her defence, I don’t think she’s ever pretended to like Curtis.
DT: Once again, Tracy and company, when they’re not waiting to be handed clues on a platter, are outright deciding that the baddies are suspicious because Costello knows who the baddies are. You asked to speak to Claire’s husband, she said he was away, and then you asked her to meet at the morgue. You might expect her to be confused at this point, but if you’re judging her on how she’s reacting to her husband’s apparent death, you might want to consider that you haven’t fricking told her that!
Foxtrot Classics: Qué? Could the Spanish-to-English folks take a look at this one, por favor? (Seriously, is the joke that it’s en Español, or have GoComics stuffed something up?)
MW: There is a special place in Hell for anyone who thinks “you must visit if you’re ever in the area” a) is even true, and b) means “with no prior notice”. Especially if they’re actually in regular communication with you.
Phantom: Aha! The reason we’ve recently been reminded what Kadia’s father, Eric “The Nomad” Sahara, looks like is so that when she gets dragged down by the undertow, we’ll recognise that the body she discovers looks exactly like him (but isn’t).
@pugfuggly: (re: Alice) I can hear it!
@GarrisonSkunk, @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Wait. Is that what Homer’s “Mr Plow” jingle is a parody of? The things that go straight over your head when you’re a non-American watching The Simpsons!
This Alice is particularly insulting as a half-assed fragment that shows a fair amount of contempt for its readership.
Luann: And now we return to the world’s most boring couple.
@Stacker:
MW: “Aren’t you happy to see me?” Belle you’re more perceptive than I thought you to be. You can probably make the flight back, if you hurry.
She could tell he’s not happy to see him because she didn’t have to ask if he has a pistol in his pocket.
@Cleveland Mocks:
Edit: not happy to see HER becau . . . ah, never mind. I screwed it up and there’s no going back.
@Horace Broon: Never thought of it that way, but you may be on to something…
@Lord Flatulence: Well, this week’s JP and RMMD are certainly giving them a run for their money.
@Ukulele Ike: And last week’s Crankshaft.
@TheDiva:
Maybe Augie is just another creep. After all, how “well” did he know the girl when she was in school?
@Anonymous: I have ripples Greg. Can you sell me?
@Nobody: ripples. lol. NIPPLES please.
@Voshkod: I understand this.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: I only knew of it, personally, as being the “normal” job for the lead investigators on Ghost Hunters back in the day.
@Austria: If that happens, it’ll probably be merged with Dick Tracy, as Dick Tracy is apparently Comic Strip purgatory (Little Orphan Annie, Brenda Starr)
Or will show up at the Old Comic Strip Folks Home in Gasoline Alley.
@125 Horace Broon:
Foxtrot Classics:
1st panel: Paige: Ha! I beat you!
Jason: That’s not so.
2nd panel: Paige: I won! Scissors beat paper.
Jason: This isn’t paper.
3rd panel: Jason: It’s a sheet of hardened steel for military use. Hardened steel breaks scissors every time.
4th panel: Paige: Meanwhile, Paige breaks Jason.
Jason: Fine, fine! I’ll give you another chance.
@Sequitur: I was expecting some sort of subtle Paper/Page/Paige joke.
@142 The Rambling Otter:
With Jason I’m surprised he didn’t do rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.
However, the Foxtrot comic came out in 2004 and it wasn’t played on The Big Bang Theory until 2008.
Alice is pretty cool for a plugger.
love is… toe tits.