NEPOS|AVUNCULUS
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Blondie, 3/8/25
Blondie’s longstanding addiction to obscure holiday themed strips and comics crossovers has achieved an uneasy peace today with its searing hatred of internationalism. Sure, this is a diverse group of women, from America, Australia, Themyscira, Viking-era Norway, the … land of fairy tales where some women are birds? … and so forth, but at least we’re not giving into the U.N. one-world government types and calling it “International Women’s Day”! It’s simply “Women’s Day,” like it was originally when the holiday was first celebrated right here in the USA by [checks notes] the Socialist Party of America oh no oh no oh no
Dick Tracy, 3/8/25
Wait, you’re telling me that the guy with the incompetent nephews … is himself an incompetent nephew? How many layers of nephews are we going to go through in this story??? It’s just like the old saying goes: truly the uncle ….. has become the nephew now.
Archie, 3/8/25
I genuinely enjoy the look on Hot Dog’s face in the third panel here. “Why are you involving me in your web of complex human lies and betrayals? I’m a dog! I truly dislike it!”
139 replies to “NEPOS|AVUNCULUS”
Blondie:
“None of the women from judge Parker are here, though — they’re too busy trying to tie story line threads together from more than eight years ago!”
RMMD-“I’ve been kicked out of better museums than this.”
MW-Megacorp? That sounds so made up.
FC-“I’m sorry but my father is in Australia.”
Blondie: Shapely Miss Buxley wasn’t invited. Women are so catty.
Wonder Woman seems to be scanning the ample femininity available for her browsing pleasure.
Blondie: It’s truly tragic that Beetle Bailey wouldn’t even give permission to use their iconic female character. Miss Buxley is too fancy for a tawdry crossover like this, but we’ll let you use everyone’s favourite small-breast-themed radar operator, Private Blips.
Archie: It was tasteful of Archie to point to the Cheez-Puff dust, and not the browser history filled with gigabytes of the most disgusting burger fetish pornography.
Archie: Jughead abandons searching the web for party invite envelopes on Archie’s antique laptop in favor of a hard copy sampler.
ARCHIE: Oh big deal, Archie! I certainly that isn’t the first time that laptop has been stained by gooey yellowish fingerprints!
MW: She works at Megacorp, does she? Does she also go to the stock market and do a business?
RMMD: Is this docent on some sort of substance? His unwavering smile makes me suspicious.
Trying to figure the rationale for continuing to employ nephews on sensitive missions when they’re known bunglers. Pure cheapness? (Don’t have to pay ’em, they’re family!) Attempt at training/education? (Perhaps they’ll learn by doing!) Favor to sibling who spawned the numbskulls? (“I know they’re useless but I CAN’T have them moping around the house all day!”) Subliminal wish to be caught? (Nephews leave an obvious trail!) Pure stupidity? (I’m sure THIS time they’ll be more careful!) OR IS IT SOME 4-D CHESS GAME WE CAN’T YET FATHOM???
Nah.
Archie: Jughead doesn’t just pour Cheesy Poofs into his mouth like a modern binge eater? I am a bit surprised. That’s a point in his favor.
@Schroduck: “Archie” as a whole is a fairly mixed retro place. In this case a computer with Windows 3.1 can get on broadband internet.
RMMD: Does this guy have a fetish for being manhandled by security staff? I find that easier to believe than anyone being this obsessed with Summer.
MW:
“She’s a salesperson at Megacorp!”
“Daaad. What did you buy????”
“Nothing. I swear. (hides yacht keys behind back)”
LUANN: Ah, they went to the classic ice cream parlor named, simply, Ice Cream. Now to go get some tasty grub at Food, and then to catch an action flick at Movie.
H&L: Thirsty is henpecked? His personality has…three whole facets to it. Layers upon layers!
ME: She agreed to be friends? Nothing more specified?? Wilbur’s realistic aims are sorta refreshing here.
RMMD: The docent looks way too cordial here. It’s a feint–he’s been waiting to use the taser on his hip ever since the riot at the Mapplethorpe exhibition.
FC: The fanfic for this one is gonna be Exhibit A for some Child Protective Services case, isn’t it?
BLONDIE: Blondie: “The Woman’s Day event is going great!”
(PAN TO: Alice Mitchell and Private Blips)
Alice Mitchell: “So…your primary characteristic is having small breast? You go girl!”
DT – And if you tangle his clacking balls, there will be hell to pay….
Archie – How about the same gag with Reggie, and it’s cum coated….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Luann: Was that intentional innuendo? Given that this character has never and will never get laid probably not
MW: I think Wilbur is telling a big fat lie
Blondie: Sorry, Snuffy, but Weezy is never going back. NEV. ER.
RMMD: “Be sure to stop by our gift shop on your way out.”
GT: Um, this conversation is happening DURING A GAME??? Henry is truly breaking new ground in idiocy, and we are here to see it.
MW: Meanwhile, back at MegaCorp HQ, Belle tells her assistant, “Hey, I’ve lined up a pretty big fish out in California. Give him a call and a little sweet talk, and see how much you can wrangle out of him. It won’t be hard.”
MW: “Belle’s a sales director at Megacorp in Orlando” sure isn’t refuting my theory that Wilbur took this trip for some hands-on supervision of his drug empire. Very hands-on in this case.
Blondie — They didn’t invite Mary Worth cause they think she’s a b*tch, Edda because they think she’s a sl*t, and LuAnn because they think she’s a child.
MW: “Dad, tell me more about Belle.”
“We me at the Beauty and the Beast ride at Megacorp! She was so beautiful
Blondie:
I see that a dour-looking Private Blips has been relegated to an unassuming spot in the back of the second panel. As Joe Strummer and the Clash so aptly put it in London Calling, “Phony Beetlemania has bitten the dust.”
MW: “Dad, tell me more about Belle.”
“We me at the Beauty and the Beast ride at Megacorp! She was so beautiful. Reading a book. Every day when I went back she was always there waiting for me. She even gave me a pet name. Who is Gaston?”
Luann:
“I’m a blank slate.”
“Oh, come on. You’re not that flat.”
Archie: After the first panel, my mind first immediately went to a “Jughead reads internet porn” related scenario.
Then I felt bad for that being my “first instinct”
What have I become?
6C: Yes, kids, ask your school to buy more books by women. Even better, books by multiple women! Maybe even six of them? Please buy the Six Chix collection! We’re begging you! Syndicate royalties split six ways are literally pennies! We’re trapped in the belly of this horrible beast and the beast is dying!
Blondie: Blips but no Buxley shows that Blondie Bumstead is an envious woman who needs to be the prettiest in the room. I’m shocked WW is there. Blondie probably fears getting her ass kicked.
RMMD: this is beyond ridiculous. This scrawny stalker is clearly unbelievably stupid. Does he have a single example of a time a security guard or bouncer broke a sweat tossing his skinny ass out onto the street? Make this stupid storyline believable.
@Yesyouareone: After you finish browsing this site and head back to your Stalker Shrine dedicated to Josh, you can have all of the creepy NSFW Josh-related fantasies you want. We won’t judge you.
(Actually we will, but we won’t say it to your face)
Dick Tracy: “Go to my uncle’s office, you dolts, and learn how a real moustache is grown!”
Blondie: I can ID everyone except the black chick talking to Helga
A&J: A move to the lower left square gets Arlo out of check and buys him a little time. But if he’s reduced to the King and White has a Queen, Rook, and Bishop, it’s only a matter of two or three moves.
That’s what she said.
Family Circlejerk – Well drawn with the smiles of those kids as they stare up at Thel’s cameltoe.
MW – Dawn desperately hopes that this time Wilbur won’t forget to hang the necktie on the door.
@Pat O’Neill: Blondie’s employee
MW: So, the foreshadowing says Belle’s going to show up and stalk Wilbur. More stalkery, ahoy. Moy is nothing if not consistent.
Mary Worth: Know what would be great? If 5 years from now, someone looked back and realized “maybe she’ll visit us if she’s ever in the area. . .” was the last anyone ever heard of Belle.
I know that Wonder Woman is a Comic book character, but unless there’s a comic strip of her, does she really count to be here?
So, question.
Do comic strips… ALL comic strips take place in some weird inter-connected continuity like with most TV Shows being connected by St. Elsewhere?
Or do the characters all live in a shared universe and are actors starring in comic strips?
“Garfield gets Real” actually went with this. Even better, Dagwood made a cameo in that.
RMMD: Being a docent (docentry?) is worthy but largely quiet work. This nice little man is excited about vicariously enjoying the ass-kicking that’s coming.
BLONDIE: Edda, Lolly and Polly were invited, but, really? No slobbering, spineless men? What’s the point?
Luann – Phil McCracken is going to be disappointed when he tries to fill this slate.
Blondie: “Oh my god, that misshapen goose thing can talk! And she’s bitching about old age!”
Archie: That’s quite a comic book. Nothing but colored panels with empty speech balloons. It is very apt.
Blondie: Ha ha, the women’s day…event? (is Blondie’s Catering hosting a reception for the Association of Comics Women?) is standing room only! That’s the joke?
Hagar: Dr Zook has placed a jar with a pair of testicles adorned with human eyeballs on his desk as a reminder to Hagar that Viking doctors don’t use collection agencies.
As much as I enjoyed the grawlixii in Marvin today, this would have been better if Bitsy was referring to something other than his tail that got whacked off.
Blondie: Many artists doing a multiverse crossover of this nature would draw their best approximation of other artists’ work, but not the Blondie conglomerate. They copy-and-pasted in characters wholesale, then awkwardly pasted in plates of food and glasses of water as best as they could (Liz the Veterinarian pinching her drink between her thumb and forefinger takes the prize here, though I have to give honorable mention to Loweezy Smith, whose plate is apparently balanced on Ellie Patterson’s shoulder). It’s a deliberate, determined laziness that almost takes more work than putting in actual effort.
@Nobody: Good thing she’s there, too, because store co-owner Tootsie Woodley is fried.
6Chx: Stephanie Piro concentrates so hard on her craft — producing the most exquisite art and wittiest dialogue on the comics page — that she hasn’t noticed who’s been running the government for the past six weeks. I’m afraid there will be no expenditures for women’s history and biography at your public school library, little girl, and if you try to raise money privately your federal funding will cease! What happened to those Muslim-loving hippies at Columbia University can happen to you.
JP: The manacles are a start, but I think some leg shackles are called for as well. Ann is a wily little sneak.
@The Rambling Otter: Well, Walt from Gassy Alley frequently hits the Old Toons Home, where discontinued strip characters live. I assume there’s at least a small town nearby to support it, obviously full of the still-ambulant toons.
*Dick Tracy* Do we non-ASL reading folks need an interpreter for whatever hand jive brown-suit guy is making?
@Pozzo: Looks likes she’s sizing up Lois. Hmmm. Let’s see, husband gone all day at work at Foofram Industries, a toddler easily entertained by a sunbeam, part-time job as a realtor allows access to unoccupied houses with plenty of bedrooms. Oh yeah, that’s the ticket…
@Buck Ripsnort: Hmm, now I’m wondering what counts as a retired comic strip character?
Say, Sam from “Sam’s Strip” if he would count as a separate entity or not, from the spin-off Sam and Silo (which is an entirely separate continuity altogether)
Like with how Black&White Betty Boop was replaced by color Betty Boop in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”
@Yesyouareone: Sick burn dude!
On the bright side, it’s Jughead. If ever someone isn’t going to get you on any FBI lists because of their browsing, it’s Jughead. Too disinterested in sex to look up weird porn, too lazy to get radicalized. And don’t worry, Archie, he doesn’t give a crap about the bland-ass porn you’re downloading.
Dick Tracy: It’s nephews all the way down.
DT: I get that there’s a mystery going on and everything, but eventually you’re going to have to reveal some information to the audience.
C’shaft: Pam just wishes he meant that literally.
Dustin: “Dorky loser” is perhaps the kindest possible assessment for a guy who will not leave you alone despite your obvious and clear expressions of disinterest, which makes this the closest to “getting lucky” Dustin will ever get.
JP: And Ann is remitted into custody until she’s needed to stir up more pointless drama.
Luann: “Basically every couple of years I get a new interest or talent in a desperate attempt to prove I’m wonderful and gifted, but it always ends up getting smothered by my permanently middle-school mentality.”
MT: “Don’t worry about it, Mark, we have homeowner’s insurance, right?”
“….”
“….Right?”
“….”
“*sigh* Take the convention job, Mark.”
MW: “Sales director at Megacorp in Orlando” is definitely Wilbur-speak for “I was busy stalking a face actress at a theme park when I should have been interviewing hurricane survivors.”
RMMD: Good idea, stand there bragging “I can do whatever I want and you can’t stop me!” even as the big guys who can and will stop you have been summoned. That’s worked so well for you in the past.
MW: DING DONG! *
* That is supposed to be the sound of the doorbell ringing, not a reference to Dawn and/or Wilbur being a ding-dong. But that might work, too.
DT – It’s incompetent nephews all the way down!
Dick Tracy: The nephew is the uncle of the man, as Lou Ford used to say.
Blondie: I love the complete lack of effort to make the art styles of the various comic strip women match, with the result that Wonder Woman looks like a cardboard stand and Cathy looks like some kind of mutant freak born without a nose.
DT: I don’t understand how there are two layers of incompetent nephews here. The nephews in this strip (the guys in the third panel with the green and purple sweaters) are the same incompetent nephews who were in the linked strip. Who is their incompetent uncle, and whose nephew is he?
Rex Morgan – I agree with @Lauralot: – that docent is baked. I wonder if he would share.
Seriously – the character of Stalky McStalkface is a much better example of bad news than Dirk was. However, Beatty just can’t help turning it into a snoozefest. There should not be several days of pleasant banter about this. Throw the creep out.
Pluggers – Ye gods. There’s bacon, potatoes, and a stack of pancakes topped with several eggs and strawberries. And a cinnamon bun on the side. He tells himself that he had a healthful breakfast because he had fruit.
Blondie – Holier than thou Grandma sent her regrets. She doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of harlots.
Blondie: Cathy looks awfully glum — maybe because she’s noticed just how few of the other women here are actually the named lead characters of their own comic strips. Or else she’s thinking, “Is this really the best Blondie can do, sandwich-wise? And could we get something a little stronger than ice water here? Also, does Irving fantasize about Wonder Woman when he’s with me? Sheesh, where the heck is Mary Worth when I could actually use some advice? Aack!”
@Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis): Say, that was a pretty good album. Whatever happened to Plasma, Perspiration, and Water That Comes Out of Your Eyes? Heck of a band.
Dustin: Hey, second day, same woman. We’re finally going to see the shall we say specifics of how Dustin gets shot down every week.
FG: Schkrade DID manage to close out the plot in one day. And the guest artist decided to cuten up Lizard Girl for her final appearance, thank goodness, as well as including a fanservice upskirt for Dale.
Dustin: In the worst fourth-wall gag ever, our protagonist is printed below RMMD. Dustin looks up and imitates Goatee McStalker, whom Dustin considers a ladies’ man.
RMMD: my new theory is that dumbass stalker is actually wanting a broken face in the hope he can sue.
@Joshua K.: I have a theory. Jazz Hands Man in panel one and his wife (sister?) are the uncle and aunt of Green and Purple Nephews and Morgue Nephew (“Boils”). The mysterious corpse is supposed to be the body of Uncle because Uncle and Aunt are planning to pass him off as dead and get him a new identity, for reasons as yet unknown to us.
This plot may have worked in 1934 when Dick Tracy started, but now that cops can do DNA tests it’s really tough to kill somebody, dress him up in your clothes, pretend to be dead and have anybody believe you,
DT: You know the Hindu myth about the world resting on the back of a giant turtle? And that turtle was resting on top of another turtle? And so on, and so on? What if, and hear me out now, it were nephews instead?
Blondie: Looks like Cathy’s gearing up for an “AACK!!!” when she bites into that sammy, Blondie will not be amused.
Dick Tracy: I’m obsessed with the Man In Tan in panel one and his hand signals! What’s he doing? Telling her to throw a curve ball? Signaling that the other team is going to pass on the next play?
Blonde: All those moms finally allowed a break from their ageless children? The missing third panel is just binge drinking at a level not seen since Animal House.
Blondie: Six months before Ma Keane and Alice Mitchell poisoned their husbands, abandoned their kids and ran off for a sex-filled sapphic cross-country romp, this is the record of their first meeting
@The Rambling Otter: Archie: After the first panel, my mind first immediately went to a “Jughead reads internet porn” related scenario.
Line: Jughead, has your dick always been orange?
Blondie: We see a hint of a smile from Thel as she glances at Private Blips’ odd little…. blips. “Bless her heart” she thinks.
Okay, Wilbur. You met a lady in Cancun and had a nice time. Good for you. You just called it a “vacation romance” and said you weren’t pursuing a long-distance relationship. So why are we still talking about this? What do you want, a trophy?
@Ukulele Ike: This plot may have worked in 1934 when Dick Tracy started, but now that cops can do DNA tests it’s really tough to kill somebody, dress him up in your clothes, pretend to be dead and have anybody believe you,
Yes, and it’s exactly the plot of Nora Prentiss (1947), except that the leading man, actor Kent Smith, plays a doctor who comes into possession of a body through his medical practice. Through a plot twist, he winds up on trial for murdering himself, and won’t say a word in his own defense.
Blondie: Buxley wasn’t invited because Blondie and Thel’s racks in such close proximity were already getting near to the point of achieving critical mass.
MW: Wilbur has agreed to be “friends” with a woman he’s “crazy” about? As a plot device, this is as unbelievable as Dawn’s never-mentioned-before contact lenses.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat # 34,867.
FG: Looks like Ike called it, Zarkov ex machina. I can’t wait for the barmaid’s tale.
Wonder Woman is right to look smug. She’s the only one there who’s still culturally relevant.
Blondie: My favourite part of this scene is Blips maintaining a fixed smile as she listens to Alice and Thel swap stories about their moronic kids.
DT: I think Josh has misinterpreted “Uncle’s office” as being Horace telling the Idiot Nephews to go to his uncle’s office, said uncle being assumed to be Moustache Guy. But my reading is that this is Claire, telling the Idiot Nephews to go to their uncle’s office, that being Horace. Certainly yelling at them seems more in character for Claire, since Horace has been shown to be much calmer and never talks to them directly (these two things may be related).
EC: I’m bewildered that we seem to be going for some mysterious-ways, psychic-forces-help-those-who-help-themselves ending, when we saw the psychic do the worst cold reading ever and blatantly just agree with Abby when she mentioned the National Therapists Conference. Maybe someone there can explain it to her.
MW: It’s easily done. You need to come up with a plausible fictional name for a megacorporation, and inspiration isn’t striking, so you just call it “Megacorp” as a placeholder, with the intent of coming back to it later. And then the deadline’s looming and you suddenly realise you didn’t come back to it later because, honestly, you don’t like thinking about Wilbur storylines any more than anyone else.
Peanuts Begins: First appearance of Snoopy playing baseball, before he got all anthropomorphic, even! I’m not sure why Violet thinks dog-catchers are scary. If you aren’t a dog, I mean.
RMMD: “Surely the law of averages means I can’t possibly be thrown out of a third place!”
S4th: “Jackie, don’t take this the wrong way, but are you sure Bettina isn’t a blood relative of Ted’s somehow?”
Blondie – “Honey, it sounds like a big buzz going on there for women’s day!”
“Oh, yes!! Oh, yes!! Excuse me, dear. As long as I’ve got you on the phone, could you bring over a couple dozen fresh packs of batteries?”
@Guillermo el chiclero: Blondie: Buxley wasn’t invited because Blondie and Thel’s racks in such close proximity were already getting near to the point of achieving critical mass.
Good point. And in the not-so-far past, this would have excluded any of the Parker-Spencer-Driver women. But could the ones today fit in there?
@White Rabbit: I thought that plot idea seemed familiar, though I wanted to attribute it to James M. Cain or Josephine Tey. With a dash of The Prisoner of Zenda.
Don Abundio, translated:
“What do you want for dinner?”
“Deep-fried clams!”
“Coming right up”
“Careful, the shells are hot!”
@Arabella: Blondie: We see a hint of a smile from Thel as she glances at Private Blips’ odd little…. blips. “Bless her heart” she thinks.
DDD: Loweezy
DD: Tootsie
D: Blondie, Thel, Wonderful Woman
C: Alice, DustMom, Lois
B: Elly, Sally
A: Blips
A-: Olive Oyl
Those would be my guesses. Anyone want to correct any errors of commission and all the errors of omission (Cathy? Opal? etc)? My commitment to the bit goes only so far.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Okay, Wilbur. You met a lady in Cancun and had a nice time. Good for you. You just called it a “vacation romance” and said you weren’t pursuing a long-distance relationship. So why are we still talking about this? What do you want, a trophy?
He wants the FBI to investigate the $150,000 that has suddenly gone missing from his IRA.
@87 E. Norma Stitz:
DustMon? Did you mean ZitsMom?
Blondie-And with Sally and the mother from ‘For Better or For Worse’ there are two buzzkills.
Today’s Dick Tracy has left me heartbroken that Wilford Brimley has taken a heel turn. Moving terrible oatmeal wasn’t enough?
Blondie: Cathy is frustrated because there’s no room for her to do her signature hand gestures without smacking Dr. Liz in the face. Wonder Woman is just putting in a token appearance before she heads off to her real International Womae’s Day party with Black Canary, Zatanna, and a gaggle of male strippers. Sally Forth is relieved that she doesn’t really speak Canadian.
DT: Strap in, everybody. We’re in for another installment of “You Just Can’t Be Related to Good Help These Days.”
MW: Wilbur discovered a hotel karaoke, to find a place where people have to pay some kind of attention to him, and he so loves to sing. He remembers Belle saying she was staying for two weeks but that night was the only time that they talked.
The difference between Dawn and Wilbur’s last romance.
Dawn got laid. Wilbur didn’t.
BB: So is all of Camp Swampy celebrating Amelia Bedelia Saturday now or is it just a Beetle thing?
C-Shaft: Hey, Crankshaft’s Aching Back, there’s no need for that kind of language.
H&L: From the stricken look on Hi’s face I’d guess that Thirsty just sent a massive, vile fart his way. No, Irma, trust me. You don’t want to know.
Luann: The lack of a comma between “fit in more” and “Phil” makes this technically a double entendre, if anyone cares.
MW: Figures that Wilbur would fall head over heels in lust with an employee of Megacorp, who sound like their business is bulldozing beloved town squares and killing off endangered species.
Phantom: One thing you can say about Heloise’s prophecies is that they’re nice and short, unlike someone else I could name.
RMMD: The security staff will be there tomorrow and they’ll have seven panels to play with. Sad state of affairs if they can’t get the job done in that time.
Zits: C’mon, guys. You’ve got to slice her finger first.
Hagar the Horrible: What’s in that jar? Testicles with eyes?
@Sequitur: DustMon? Did you mean ZitsMom?
A longer reply seems stuck in moderation, so I’ll simply say thank you.
Blondie: Blondie is just glad Zitsmom and Diane Wilkins didn’t bring their voracious sons. There wouldn’t be any leftovers for Dagwood.
@Sequitur: Zits: C’mon, guys. You’ve got to slice her finger first.
One of my best bad memories is the time I was sitting in our second-floor condo and heard the sound of water dripping on the metal bathroom ceiling. I went upstairs and knocked on the door of the sweet old lady who owned the apartment. “Oh FUCK!!!!1!!1!” I heard the sweet old lady shout from inside. She opened the door and quickly explained that she’d left the water running in her laundry tub and it had overflowed.
She was mortified about her mistake, so a day or two later after the water had dried and there was no apparent lasting damage I enjoyed further mortifying her by teasing about her lapse in verbal decorum that day.
BTW, a few years later as condo sellers we learned a valuable lesson for condo buyers: hire a really good inspector, because they will catch things you might never think to check when your realtor walks you through. This one noticed some tiny stains in the paint and correctly concluded there had been an “incident,” and we had to jump through some hoops to assure the buyer that this wasn’t some chronic problem. I suppose too fresh a coat of paint would also have been suspicious, so always remember to invest a few bucks to apply a fresh coat of paint at the time of the damage instead of later, so it can age. Even if you don’t see any.
@But What Do I Know?: You’re right about Mary Worth. Edda and Luann are going go need to wait for the AMS party.
MW: First we had Dawn claiming that her mother was the reason why they never got along in her extended trip to Connecticut (because we know that Dawn is such a peach and not a jobless mooch taking decades to get a liberal arts degree) and now Wilbur is going on about a supposed vacation fling which ended with them being “just friends.” Either the Westons are incredible liars who can fool each other flawlessly or Moy is flagrantly ignoring the first rule of writing (show, don’t tell) out of spite.
Blondie: Bitch is FaceTimeing a landline phone
@Just John:
One of my best bad memories is the time I was sitting in our second-floor condo and heard the sound of water dripping on the metal bathroom ceiling. I went upstairs and knocked on the door of the sweet old lady who owned the apartment. “Oh FUCK!!!!1!!1!” I heard the sweet old lady shout from inside. She opened the door and quickly explained that she’d left the water running in her laundry tub and it had overflowed.
She was mortified about her mistake, so a day or two later after the water had dried and there was no apparent lasting damage I enjoyed further mortifying her by teasing about her lapse in verbal decorum that day.
—
And did you then fuck her?
Blondie: Zitsmom and Liz the vet are comparing the Botox treatments to their lips.
Blondie – Ironically this strip with a gathering of many of the greatest female characters in newspaper comic history doesn’t pass the Bechdel test.
Though I like to imagine the women are mostly gossiping about the Six Chix who weren’t invited.
Dick Tracy – I have a feeling that this storyline is writer Mike Curtis letting his own nephews know that they will not be taking over the strip for him. He’s ripe for retirement by being in his 70s, but he believes in merit based hiring.
Archie – Being a non-verbal dog in a comic strip is generally thankless work. You either have to pretend to like the Keane Kids, have Dennis make some inane comments about you, or you have to follow Dagwood around the house, including during his baths.
I suppose it could be worse. Those dog’s can’t all be Snoopy, but they don’t have the indignity of being Wilbur Weston’s pet.
Dick Tracy: So those two nephews were clearly feeling each other up off-panel, right? Like Greenshirt is still grabbing Purpleshirt’s chest, and Purpleshirt’s got a surprised expression, and his hands are in a “you definitely didn’t just catch me feeling Greenshirt’s ass” posture.
Blondie: I’m waiting for the part two of this storyline, where it’s revealed one of the women hired a stripper.
BLONDIE: Not only no Mary Worth, but no Aleta or Morgan le Fay. Blondie, you are living dangerously.
@Philip:
“…and now she’s spending all her time dressed as some kind of nu metal sad clown. Who needs that in their life?”
RMMD: Yep, that docent is high as a kite.
LUANN: When someone shows you they are a blank slate, Phil, believe them the first time.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Blondie: “I’ve had to cut the Tuesday Chik out of the comics pages ever since she fucked the Big Sandwich. Dagwood would have had a coronary.”
Sex Organ V.D. : Still having troubles bouncing Abe Lincoln’s clone from “Clone High”.
@Toys for Twats: And did you then fuck her?
Knowing this crowd, probably yes.
Blondie: Only problem is, one of the ladies won’t shut up about NASCAR.
DT: Wasn’t this woman’s gimmick that she spoke in alliteration? That was quashed quite quickly.
Luann: Two days ago she was flummoxed by the implication of a mere kiss. Now at the end of the date she’s all hornt up and practically spreading her legs and pointing to her crotch while a neon arrow flashes, by virtue of this witty double-entendre about her flabby and capacious snatch and/or his likely pencil-dick.
@Lauralot:
I always refer to my (now former, as I’m no longer a productive member of society) place of employment as “Megacorp”. If I use the actual name, there will sometimes be people who have a problem with that company and will feel the need to let me know. Like I would care. I didn’t run it, I just took their money for 36 years of a modicum of effort, and now collect a pension.
@Garrison Skunk: Wasn’t the “20 years after Clone High” Clone High great? Got rid of Doofus Gandhi, brought in Confucius, Freda Kahlo, Harriet Tubman. Not to mention Topher Bus. “My clone dad was a genocidal racist, OKAY???”
@Sex-Negative Nellie: @Sexy McSexerson: Are you two the same person? It’s not unheard of in these parts.
@Ukulele Ike: Are you two the same person?
Are YOU the same person? Are any of us?
I’m sorry, “Needless Exposition” and “Professor Actually,” but you two are the most boring people on earth.
It needed to be said.
I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, but I resisted because I hoped you would change.
I’m gonna swill another ale.
@Posting Pretty Buzzed Even Though I Know Better, But Obviously I Don’t:
I’m not this guy, though.
@Hibbleton: Women are so catty.
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Speaking of…where’s Cassandra? Did Racial Rabbit swipe her invite and frame Shady Shrew for the crime?
@Ukulele Ike: @Sex-Negative Nellie: @Sexy McSexerson: Are you two the same person?
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Doesn’t matter…they’re parts are interchangable. Like Majors Burns and Hoolihan at Henry Blake’s trial.
@Garrison Skunk: Doesn’t matter…they’re parts are interchangable. Like Majors Burns and Hoolihan at Henry Blake’s trial.
Been posting here pretty continuously since, oh, 2016, so it’s funny the question comes up now.
“I am large, I contain multitudes.” — Walt Whitman, AKA Emily Dickinson, AKA Herman Melville
Blondie-The drugs Blondie got are finally kicking in.
@Anonymous: I am also all the funniest people who post here. There’s just one of me.
@Ukulele Ike: I am also all the funniest people who post here. There’s just one of me.
If I ain’t who I am, then who am I? And if I’m someone else, then how come I still look like me?
Luann: the artwork in today’s strip is just ghastly. This whole “I’m a blank slate” thing that the writers keep coming back to is tiresome at this point. It’s just an excuse for refusing to develop their main character.
By Monday, all of this will likely be forgotten—maybe Les Knox will return from his adventures in the Rex Morganverse (getting thrown out, naturally).
At least one can hope.
@Posting Pretty Buzzed Even Though I Know Better, But Obviously I Don’t: I take offense to that, my rambles about random TV shows and such are WAAAAY more boring than anyone here can hope to be.
@brendancalling: I don’t get why writers refuse to “fix” characters.
Like with Agent Bishop on NCIS, she was boring as a brick. Especially being the replacement for the very very cool and badass Ziva.
Instead of making her more interesting, they just made the characters associated with her more interesting (well, they tried to)
@Posting Pretty Buzzed Even Though I Know Better, But Obviously I Don’t: Oh, darn, I missed my opportunity to bask in the attention seeker noticing me. Well, better luck next time!
@The Rambling Otter: I dunno, I think some of my late-night rants could give you an extremely dull run for your money.
@Ukulele Ike: @Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis): Say, that was a pretty good album. Whatever happened to Plasma, Perspiration, and Water That Comes Out of Your Eyes? Heck of a band.
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That was a pretty good album. Whatever happened to Plasma, Perspiration, and Water That Comes Out of Your Eyes? Heck of a band.
@Poteet: : I dunno, I think some of my late-night rants could give you an extremely dull run for your money.
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Your rants get raves, Poteet!
@Garrison Skunk: Your late-night rants are all reet, Poteet!
One hand looks like “N” while his spinning index finger (which should be next to his head) seems to communicate “crazy.”
Need I say more? ?
Why was Gearhead Gertie not invited to the Women’s Day brunch?
This is some exclusionary TERF bullshit.