Spring has sprung
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Family Circus, 3/27/25
I’m not entirely sure what this is even supposed to mean, but I guess it has to do with the fact that Big Daddy Keane can do math silently in his head. Can you imagine having thoughts that you don’t immediately blurt out loud, to the annoyance of everyone around you? Billy sure can’t!
Gearhead Gertie, 3/27/25
A lot of people complain when I post Gearhead Gertie strips. “How can you keep posting that strip that’s about nothing other than NASCAR?”, they ask me. Well, big news: today’s strip explores the divine cosmology of Gertie’s world. We learn that she exists not in a universe where a single remote and omnipotent deity is the sole creator, but rather one where a more accessible pagan pantheon manages the universe, and you can call them on the phone, to harass them about NASCAR.
Hi and Lois, 3/27/25
I’m enjoying visualizing what clearly happened between these panels: Thirsty announced that he was blowing off work to go to the game, and tried to convince his best friend and fellow baseball fan to join him, but Hi instead demurred and slunk off to the office like the coward he is.
184 replies to “Spring has sprung”
I’m still astonished that Gearhead Gertie is an ongoing, published strip. It feels like one of those bad ideas that people have during the “there are no bad ideas at this stage” stage of brainstorming.
Hi and Lois-“We haven’t fired Thurston yet?”
Gearhead Gertie-Gertie, it’s not nice to mess with Mother Nature.
MW-“Menage a trois, Dawn,” Belle asks.
FC-Daddy is just thinking of what to change in the original comic.
Blondie-“By the water. I’ve always wanted to drive us off a bridge.”
MW: Tell me Belle has poisonous lipstick. Lie if you have to. Otherwise, it’s a good thing I didn’t eat breakfast before reading the strip. And I think I’ll skip lunch.
Many years ago, “Lio” did a strip where his giant ant farm broke and giant ants spread out among the other comics–the other comics being parodies of well-known “real” strips. (The only one I remember was the Lockhorns being “The Hateachothers.”) Anyway, “Gearhead Gertie” would have been perfect in that strip, as it could easily pass for a parody of a much better strip.
Hi and Lois: Do people still wear suits and ties to office jobs?
I mean, even (God forbid I bring this up but I will…) the most office-based comic in history, Dilbert, ditched the ties years ago.
FC: I imagine Billy, same dialogue (said sarcastically), but holding a slide rule. —Sometimes you have to provide your own yuks.
FC After closing the books on another hard year at the kompound, Daddy Keane stares pensive at a list of his four children. His pen hovers for a moment over ‘Jeffy’ before he hears an idiotic comment from the ither side of the room. He moves up a line and decisively strokes off ‘Billy’.
GG The following day, Gertie was bit by a raccoon and contracted a rare combination of rabies and flesh-eating bacteria. She was mourned by no-one.
H&L It’s weird that Thirsty’s boss would even ask where he is. Surely the regular answer is ‘sleeping it off’?
GG: I was going to make a joke, that Mother Nature really needs a freaking comb. Then I realized, she’s a Goddess/Nature Spirit, she can live however she wants. I mean if I called her up to complain “Hey Mother Nature, get a comb you hippie!” I’d be smited on the spot. I mean who would be stupid enough to phone her up and complain about anything…? (wait a second)
Hi and Lois: Fo you think Foofram takes his frustration out on Hi, making him work late and weekends to pick up the slack for Thirsty?
@pugfuggly: I was going to say, if Gertie became some sort of were-raccoon hybrid. That it would spice up the strip but really… it wouldn’t solve the problem, but just put a coat of paint over it at best.
Wary Morth:
“Dad! I thought we talked about you bringing home prossies already!”
_________________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
Will Augie fall asleep in the chair? Will he be compelled to seek sleep in Summer’s bed instead? This incredible cliffhanger forces you to wait to find out!
In fact, Daddy Keane has been playing Tic Tac Toe, by himself, for hours. It’s been a draw every time, but he’s feeling good about the next game.
MW: Dawn takes one look and turns around and goes out to buy a sacrificial goldfish.
Hi and Lois: Do you think Foofram takes his frustration out on Hi, making him work late and weekends to pick up the slack for Thirsty? Could you blame him if he went the “Thurston’s your problem, Flagstone” route? Day by day, never knowing if Thirsty is going to be there, pinching female coworkers or passed out at his desk. . . it’s not easy being Foofram!
FC:
“…something the two of us, and our siblings, don’t spend an awful lot of time doing!”
Family Circus : Bil has invented Psycho-history!
…and he has predicted that the next 50 years of his life will be the same couple of “jokes” on loop, slightly modified to match current technology*************
Gearhead Gertie : I’m surprised this is the first instance of Gertie and Mother Nature being antagonists : you’d think someone who loves smoke-spewing cars going in circles pointlessly would be the recurring nemesis of the embodiment of the environment, and vice-versa!
…Too far?…(Also, I prefer my Mother Nature to be a kindly, plump matron
(or a hot chick in a leafmail swimsuit), not this weird, stringy-haired scarecrow)*************
Hi & Lois : Thirsty understands it’s easier to ask FooFram for forgiveness rather than permission (not just this sudden day off, also the constant day-drinking).
Mary Worth: Thank God some artistic shading has spared us (and hopefully Dawn as well) the indignity of Wilbur’s pants tent. Although Dawn seems more concerned that Belle is digging her spiked heels into the upholstery.
MW – Dawn thinks, “There goes my college fund.”
That’s one helluva push-’em-up bra Batshit Bellefrey is wearing.
DT: “They got the things, and then they left. I….I just thought you should know.”
JP: “As Sophie processes it, the seasons pass in Cavelton…winter, spring, summer….”
Phantom: Ah! Chekhov’s cargo ship. Kadia envisions her future profession, skippering a tramp steamer. Or possibly shoveling coal into boilers.
H&L: Thirsty, dude — you should move to Cincinnati. Opening Day pretty much IS a holiday here.
H&L – Opening Day also occurs during the NCAA’s Big Dance, so Thirsty better hope that it doesn’t occur to Mr. Foofram to apply basketball metrics to his business, and finds that Thirsty’s plus/minus shows the firm performs significantly better on the days he’s not there.
@BeckoningChasm: As it happens, Josh actually covered that one. I’m guessing the Hateachothers stood out to you because it’s what Josh mentioned in his commentary.
MW: I am so excited by this new love in Wilbur’s life! Belle Batsfrey is obviously a play on words for Bats in the Belfry. She is obviously crazy. She is so going to bring chaos and misery to Wilbur and Dawne. Let’s hope she is crazy in the Basic Instinct kind of way and the strip is a slow descent in to horror of madness. Hilarity will ensue!
MW: It’s not every day you see the worst thing you’ll ever see.
The Family Circus: “Why is Daddy crying while he’s doing math?” “I dunno, but he’s got the checkbook and he keeps talking about how he’s ‘practicing subtraction.'”
(Alt joke: [CAMERA PANS TO SHOW BIL’S WORKSHEET, WHERE HE IS DOING TRIGONOMETRIC CALCULATIONS FOR HOW FAR A HOMEMADE TREBUCHET COULD FLING BILLY.])
MW: Just how desperate and/or drugged-up do you have to be to pick Wilbur as a sugar daddy? I guess we’re going to find out.
GT: Instead of wondering if their stupid, insensitive behavior offended Brit, Keri blithely suctions onto cross-eyed Sean. I dislike Keri.
GG: If Ma Nature has access to any thunderbolts, now would be a GREAT time.
Hi and Lois March 27: Thirsty Thurston is obviously Mr. Foofram’s son-in-law, it is the only possible explanation for his continued employment at Foofram Industries all these decades.
Mary Worth: What is that thing on Belle’s chest? Why is she dressed like she stepped out of 2003? What have I done with my one wild and precious life that I should be reading this?
B. Bailey: Recycling dead bodies is probably not as positive a look as you think, Sarge.
GG: Given the state of the planet and our actions on it, Mother Nature looks about as harried and miserable as I’d expect. I’m not sure what’s more depressing: mankind’s continued and inexorable path to destroying the Earth, or this strip’s attempted joke.
H&L: Is it me, or is the boss drawn in a completely different style?
FC: When I took Latin, I recall an anecdote our professor told us where some philosopher or something had noted down that one of his peers was able to read without speaking aloud or moving his lips, which was apparently stunning to the person recording it. So history is a circle I guess.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I know that we Mudges have joked a lot that Belle Batsfrey is really Kate Gosselin, but seriously, I’m beginning to believe June Brigman was watching old Jon & Kate Plus 8 reruns when she designed the character. It’s the only thing that even vaguely makes sense.
Hi and Lois: An office where the manager wears a purple suit and a polka-dotted cravat, the coworkers dress in leisure suit ensembles of unnatural green, and the most prominent feature of the workspace is a giant trash can? I’d be ordering a brat and two jumbo Miller Genuine Drafts too, if I could.
@Lauralot: “Vaguely” is doing a lot of work here.
MW: Is this going to turn into a Florida Woman headline? Like, “Florida Woman Robbed by Meth-Addicted Raccoon”
GG: NASCAR runs at several road course tracks, and those go on when it rains. But Gertie’s a purist who doesn’t consider road courses actual racing; it’s ovals or it not real NASCAR
MW: Is Belle even wearing lipstick or did she just draw those kisses on Wilbur. And for Wilbur, does that consititute getting to second base?
BG&SS: Pigs are among the most intelligent livestock farmers have. If they could talk they’d be summarizing Proust, a writer (and a comedy sketch) nobody in Hootin’ Holler can understand.
H&L: Thurston’s regular duties, of guarding the bee in a jar, will be performed by a high-school intern. In two weeks that intern will be Thurston’s team leader.
Blondie: The Blondiverse carpool gang go into a deep trance about the joy of driving and which gorgeous mini-vacation they can immerse themselves in for half an hour. Once they wake up from the carbon monoxide poisoning caused by all the customized 4×4 exhaust systems in their suburban car sewer, the cold reality hits them. Slipping back into fanstasy, “Just one more lane will fix it, bro!” pops into Dagwood’s head.
MW: Brigman shouldn’t look to Michelangelo for inspiration when depicting women’s breasts.
Gearhead Gertie: Mother Nature has, like, C-tier Disney villain vibes. She’s no Ursula the Sea Witch, more like Mad Madam Mim from The Sword in the Stone. Still, she’s just menacing enough that she might hurl lightning at Gertie or maybe electrocute her through the phone.
Um… pretty please?
H&L: The thing is, Thirsty isn’t GOING to the first ballgame. He traditionally spends opening day sitting in the living room recliner and drinking heavily.
FC: Who let Billy use ChatGPT?
GG: Most people consider this strip pretty awful artistically. If you believe the Gaia hypothesis however, she pretty much nailed today’s Mother Nature.
Phantom: I suppose Kadia’s earlier days’ bits about not wanting to talk about her dad, she’s a strong swimmer and Kit should go in, etc are supposed to make us think she’s trying to drown to escape her family’s evilness, but I prefer to think she’s swimming off to join the freighter crew and escape Heloise’s stifling efforts to plan Kadia’s life.
Heck, if she’d been hanging out to find details of the Phantom and now was going to fake her death, rejoin her family’s criminal empire via a freighter ship pickup, and become a new enemy to the next-gen Phantoms, that would be interesting (so I’m sure we won’t get that).
With four children and a dog in today’s economy, Pa Keane is trying to figure out if he can afford to buy a desk that’s big enough to hold more than a lamp and a single sheet of paper.
***
I hope the complaints about Gearhead Gertie are that we shouldn’t be mocking a woman with crippling monomania, because otherwise it’s exactly the kind of comic I want someone else to read so I don’t have to.
MW: Dawn, now is not the time to be mildly annoyed. Now is the time to recognize a threat to your continued existence. Your idiot father is getting suckered again, and this Jerry Springer Show contestant is here to replace you. And probably drain Wilbur’s bank account.
At first glance, I thought Mother Nature was at the hairdresser’s. I’m not sure WHY I thought that, except that she seems to be swathed in towels like maybe they do at upscale spas (? I wouldn’t know, I don’t go to spas) and her hair is a huge mess (contrasting with Gertie’s neat poufs). Okay, so I was wrong! But the more I look at this picture, the weirder it gets. Mother Nature’s chair looks just like Gertie’s, except for the footstool and the “Mother Nature” label — is she in a nursing home, where she needs name tags on all her belongings? (Nah, I’m overthinking this — her chair is labeled because it’s otherwise COMPLETELY non-obvious who she’s supposed to be.) Why are these two sitting in armchairs in the middle of empty spaces? Are there TVs off-panel in front of them? Do they inhabit the void? It just seems so… off.
I can’t believe Gertie is calling on any other god than Dale Earnhardt, who died for our sins in the final lap. Guess she’s going to NASCAR Hell which, I assume, involves Formula One racing.
Family Circus – Daddy Keane is considering the cost and risks of transitioning this strip into a Pluggers-style user-submitted story format in contrast to the cost of the current upkeep of his children. Honestly, one well written /r/AskReddit question could supply him with three years of material for very little effort.
Gearhead Gertie – I will give Gertie this, unlike Gen-Z, she has no fear of picking up the phone and voicing her complaints to the subject of her ire, rather than @ing them on social media in an attempt to get them canceled. Gen-Z couldn’t order a pizza over the pone, while Gertie will threaten a goddess with arrest.
Hi and Lois – Mr. Foofram looks absolutely disappointed in Hi. Foofram is not a baseball fan (he seems like a golf watcher), but at least Thirsty has a passion for something and will used his earned PTO to engage with it.
@The Rambling Otter: I have to say, if they did change Gertie into some kind of horrible supernatural monster, but then just kept doing the same NASCAR schtick without acknowledging it at all, I would respect that!
Questionable Content: Oooooo, Rodrigo Ernesto Ortega Serrano! That guy was hot as a chile pepper!
FC: Meanwhile, Billy is sitting next to a disused computer that probably has a perfectly good calculator program on it.
GG: Gertie will be plagued by clouds of mosquitos at every NASCAR event she attends, but it won’t occur to her why.
MW: Finding Batts Belfrey in her apartment has left Dawn SHOCKED…to find a woman with a sillier hairdo than her own.
GG: Thirty years from now when eternally geriatric Gearhead Gertie is a long past its prime (?) and is a legacy strip, the handful of young readers (if they even exist) will stumble across it and wonder what these four wheeled human driven objects are doing that would elicit any interest.
RMMD: There’s a crazed and potentially dangerous stalker in this storyline, and we get a week of boredom including today’s action-packed strip where we get…Augie contemplating the sleep-a-bility potential of an easy chair. Cmon, let’s get this story moving!
Luann: I had to look this up. “Breaking Wind” is a sub-Scary Movie parody of the Twilight movie series. Honestly, I think they’d be better off watching Antichrist.
CS: Crankshaft definitely looks like he’s about to have an imminent “health event.”
9CL: It’s not good sex unless it involves voyeurism.
Look at those chairs — they’re practically identical, which suggests that Gertie is actually talking to herself. What’s troubling about this is not that she imagines herself to be an all-powerful personification of nature’s awesome fury, but that her love of NASCAR is greater than her sense of duty to her godlike role, resulting in a deep sense of self-loathing. Notably, her Mother Nature persona is kicking back with her feet up, completely comfortable with the terrible destruction she wreaks upon the world. Even she doesn’t give a s–t what Gertie thinks, and she’s just a manifestation of Gertie’s mental illness!
Beetle Bailey-Sarge should really be reported for his constant beatings of Beetle.
@Voshkod: Well, NASCAR racing is definitely hell for Formula One fans. (Just ask one.) Which suggests an interesting cosmology for auto racing fans: heaven and hell are completely subjective. What’s heaven for one is hell for another. There are two possible destinations, one very suited to your preferences, and one very unsuited.
And since we live in the reality where someone gets paid to create Gearhead Gertie, and newspapers of record devote space to publishing it, I’m assuming we’re in hell for both Formula One and comic strip fans.
Bil glares at the desk lamp. Pixar made billions starting with just a fucking desk lamp, he thinks. I should have stuck with funny office equipment for inspiration instead of having children.
GT: Hey, Sid, Goldie seems pretty excited to have this gig, judging by the exclamation mark that follows his/her spoken “neigh.”
Is this a case of a newcomer being a little too amped up, or does this just mean that the role calls for a bubbly personality?
MW: Dawn can tell Belle is not vegan.
Dustin: I’ll just have to yell extra loud at Dustin about being a lazy, good-for-nothing millennial. That’ll burn off some more calories, Ed thinks to himself before going back for the last two donuts.
FC – 4/15 is like Sunday BBQ! Daddy does the cooking….
GG – Oh…and more blue state wild fires….
H&L – Well…that sounds better than the truth! He’s passed out in the hammock in my back yard….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@The Rambling Otter:
Most comics are outdated. They are several decades behind the times.
@Cleveland Mocks:
Sid, oops, I screwed that up. It’s the brown horse who had that line. My bad.
Anyway, congrats on the placement.
FC – Putting it on the floor for your kids to play with is no way to treat a vintage Apple Lisa computer. Donate that thing to the Smithsonian!
GG: I’m sure you could write a comic strip about an old lady who loves NASCAR in a way that would be funny to people who enjoy NASCAR. It would probably involve a lot of inside jokes and references that would go over the heads of anyone outside that niche, but it would find its audience. You cannot, however, write a strip about an old lady who loves NASCAR in a way that’s funny to people who know nothing about NASCAR, because all your punchlines just end up being variations on “Boy, that old lady sure does love NASCAR!”
H&L: Mr. Diva has long been in the habit of using a couple PTO days to catch the opening rounds of the NCAA tournament, so I’m siding with Thirsty on this one. Hi, meanwhile, will forgo any sort of personal pleasure or fulfillment in a desperate attempt to get his boss to notice him, and will receive nothing for it but a layoff six months before his pension kicks in.
Far be it from me to complain about which strips Josh chooses for comment. The only problem with GG is that Mudges who slavishly follow the Boss’s lead feel compelled to comment on GG and there are only two or three jokes that can ever be made about GG. Which makes for a dull and redundant day of snark.
Don Abundio, translated:
[Signs: LIPSTICK; FREE SAMPLES]
“Good afternoon, sir. Would you like me to paint your moustache red?”
“OH, YES!”
“I’ll look just like Yosemite Sam!”
@Banana Jr. 6000: If the comic wanted to get vaguely political, Gertie could get into a heated argument with a Formula One fan who associates NASCAR with the worst stereotypes about rural white people.
@Lauralot: The horror…the horror.
MW: One of the most bizarre things about the Moyverse is that while Moy consistently has depicted Wilbur as an absolute troll, a narcissistic stalker with a taste for booze, overeating, and self pity, he is also somehow irresistible to women, at least until they get to know him. Iris, Stelle, even the woman with the dog are interested until they see him up close. Mary consistently defends him. Why this is, I don’t know, not being that familiar with the DSM.
Dustin: It’s very telling that Dustdad, on finding a box of donuts in the break room, thinks nothing about hogging a whole third of them for himself.
GT: “Brittney’s been reassigned now that we no longer need you to be conflicted about being friends with someone on a rival team.”
MW: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a shower, standing in the spray with a thousand-yard stare while I obsessively yet vainly attempt to scrub myself clean.”
@TheDiva: Yeah, Hi seems like the kind of coworker who never takes a day off, because he’s afraid everyone will notice the office works perfectly well without him.
This moment of Family Circus… “bliss?” was taken just before the children held a court of the Inquisition and sentenced Daddy Keane to be burned at the stake for thinking. But then Billy thought they were talking about burning a steak, so they did that, the fire department came, and the kids were distracted by the lights, so Dad Keane survived another day leading the compound.
@TheDiva: Or Gearhead Gertie‘s creator could write it in a way that the jokes make sense whether you’re a NASCAR fan or not. But that would require, you know, talent.
MW: Belle Batsfrey? I’m disappointed that every Charterstone resident doesn’t have a similar name that tells you everything about their personality.
Opening Day! The most optimistic day of the year!*
*Even as a Pirates fan, I still find this to be true.
@Liam: Gearhead Gertie-Gertie, it’s not nice to mess with Mother Nature.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
THUNDER ROAR!
MW:. Dawn awakens to reason her mother took her to teas, balls, etc. “This is what she wanted to save me from!”
PHANTOM:. Was it her ancestor who jumped off a pirates ship and swam forever to get to shore? No, guess that was Savarna. Circus is not in town so Kadia wants to escape ON a pirate ship.
@Morgan Wick: Thank you, I knew I’d read it here before.
Bil is not doing the atheist math of Pagan Greeks and Infidel Arabs! He’s doing gematria, to calculate when the world ends! Though you don’t need any esoteric calculation to predict this, because you could just, you know, look around
After centuries of intellectual stagnation, Gertie makes an unorthodox but innovative contribution to theodicy: if there is evil, just arrest the gods!
I might not be a gringo, but Thirsty’s idea sounds to me not as stupid as other American holidays! You have a special celebration for mattress sales!
Family Circus: Billy discovers the concept of sapient thought, a remarkable thing to a creature devoid of a brain like himself.
Gearhead Gertie: Thus begins Gertie’s arc of becoming a JRPG villain who seeks to usurp the gods in order to ensure her NASCAR is never interrupted again.
High and Lowest: Judging by the discussion in Panel Two, it doesn’t sound like Thirsty’s in any trouble for going to Opening Day. Most likely he called the office and said he was taking one of the personal days in his contract to go to the ballgame. That explains Hiram’s downcast expression, as he of course must save those days for when Trixie’s spewing from both ends simultaneously.
@Kirkout: #23
Or she turns into a “Fatal Attraction” psychopath who demands Wilbur’s total attention 24/7 with greater and greater intensity until Wilbur in desperation finally spurns her; and, in an act of unspeakable revenge, she serves him Willa as a fried fish sandwich slathered in rancid mayonnaise. Dawn long ago left for Canada, never to be seen again.
Luann: Good grief, no wonder Brad and Toni can’t conceive, that fertility window calendar is all wrong. I wouldn’t expect Evans to know off the top of his head how the motile gametes survive maybe 5 days in the fallopian tubes and the sessile one is lucky to make it beyond a day = optimistically a conception window is ovulation -5days to ovulation +2days , not this weeks-long marathon sex-o-rama schedule. But there’s this nifty thing called The Internet that Evans could use with information like that on offer in a few seconds!
@Tabby Lavalamp: 342
Actually, the Keane’s have *two* dogs and a cat, so that desk will shrink to a TV-tray size with one of those tiny clip-on reading lights. If we include Thel and her shopping (and “other”) addictions, Bil will be forced to do his paperwork on the floor by candlelight.
@Cleveland Mocks: re GT: Yeah, I *think* that Brown Horse may be the elusive “Silver” – or who knows, it may be “Bronzie.” Anyway, I don’t know where the heck they get these Equines and who names them…. we’ve never done business with this comic. We did go over there and try to
poachsign up Silver after his first appearance, but the crew – apparently on drugs – didn’t seem to know he even existed! But that is a nice “neigh!” delivery, whoever it is.Now we’ll see what “Goldie” can do – I like that side-eye she’s showing. We’re gonna make another attempt to add this talent to our stable. This may be an undercover job for Melody Mare…
MW: Man oh man – did we dodge a bullet! It must have been divine providence that Willa’s contract wasn’t renewed, so she’s not exposed to this salacious debauchery! Wait, is that a redundancy? Anyway, her fans don’t need to worry that she’s a witness to this depravity!
@Morgan Wick:
As it happens, Josh actually covered that one
The rabbit hole that sent me down is old enough to attend college. What’s even crazier to me is that I’ve been here since then. In fact, that’s right around the time I found this website. Which means… I’ve seen a lot of things. A lot of horrible, glorious things.
MW: If this turns into a Fatal Attraction situation at least Dawn doesn’t have a pet rabbit, but I’ve got a really bad feeling about the goldfish.
GG: One good thing about this strip, which I don’t follow, is I can pass on all the Mudge comments when scrolling. Ditto for Marvin, Gasoline Alley, Daddy Daze, and Sally Forth.
RMMD: You know who else is soundly asleep by now, Auggie? Goatee McStalkerson, he finally succumbed to the ennui and is in a self-induced coma.
RMMD: No one will be seated during the riveting Auggie takes off his shirt scene.
@Old School Allie Cat: I’ve seen things you curmudgeons wouldn’t believe. Lizzie being forced to marry a mustache. I read Funky Wiinkerbean when it was kind of funny. All those moments will be preserved in a blog, like bugs in amber. Time to comment.
@Ettorre: Aw, we only celebrate Mattress Sale Day because we want a day off of work.
(Just joking! Of course we don’t get any more days off of work!)
I’m gonna get a chair with my name on the side. I’ve had it with anthropmorphized concepts getting all the cool swag, why shouldn’t I have a sweet “Dan” barcalounger? I work hard.
@Old School Allie Cat: @Roy Batty: Who remembers Hatlo’s They’ll Do It Every Time?
Josh featured it often. It also died in 2008, after an eight decade run.
”The Urge”
Mary Worth – I laughed at the lipstick marks all over Wilbur’s face. Thank goodness it’s lipstick marks and not a hickey – I don’t want to think about how that would happen.
Rex Morgan – Augie needn’t worry. If I can fall asleep at the kitchen table reading this snoozefest of a story, he can fall asleep in that well cushioned chair.
Lockhorns – Her hair is too long to be a pixie cut.
FC – I’m trying to figure out if Jef added the computer and monitor now or the last time this reran.
@Roy Batty: Today is actually Funky Winkerbean‘s birthday. The first strip was March 27, 1972.
@Ukulele Ike: Oh yes — They’ll Do It Every Time — and Our Boarding House
The Katzenjammer Kids.
And, of course, Major Hoople.
FG: Alchemy lady is thinking, “What’ll end this are some really strong martinis. Let’s see, is it equal parts gin to vermouth? No, that’s a gimlet. Hey Peek-a-boo, where do you keep the olives?”
HL: Thirsty harkens back to a time like Otis of Mayberry, where being a chronic alcoholic was a source of amusement and not a sad situation. A simpler more innocent time.
DT: The plot advances – odd that the boss didn’t think it odd that someone travelling on business needed to send nephews to clear out the office? I guess he is a more trusting soul who doesn’t pry.
GT: high school sports with recruiting drama, pressures to take money from boosters, playing year round on community, AAU and other travel teams, player burnout; wish the current writers and artists new more about high school sports in the USA.
MW: THIS IS GREAT. Hard to predict what is coming next. The real out there twist should be that the Batsinthebelfrey lady turns out to be legitimate. She is a big boss at Megacorp whose board appreciate her off the wall spontaneity and enthusiasm. Dawn knowing her dad’s prior history can’t believe what she is seeing could possibly be real, so breaks them up. Mary bakes a lot of muffins and salmon squares, hilarity ensues.
@Hibbleton: @Daisy: @Guillermo el chiclero: re Willa G. Fish — Guys, and/or gals, please!! Willa is in no danger here, so no need for these doomsday predictions! She’s no longer a member of the Weston household, thanks to The Ladies not renewing her contract – a blessing in disguise. Now if you *do* happen to catch a glimpse of a generic Goldfish, it will have been artificially created. I don’t think they’d stoop to using one of Willa’s archived appearances, but if they try to pull that crapola, we’ll have our crack legal team all over ’em!
@Situation Normal, @Die Rosenkavalieren: Who can forget Our Boarding House with Mott the Hoople, and their hit version of Bowie’s “All The Young Duds”?
Baby Blues – I had to look that one up. Kenny is right. Now hit him with “Is a hot dog a sandwich?”
@Ettorre:
Not gonna lie, I laughed REALLY damn hard at this
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: #101
*SOB* I hope you’re right, Sid…I just have this sinking feeling that Willa’s not out of the water yet…I have a BAD feeling about Belle…a BAAAD feeling…
@Treetown: Go to the comics section of the website for a newspaper in Washington. Post-date some URLs.
Nice that Gearhead Gertie gave Phyllis Diller a cameo, she hasn’t gotten much work since she died.
MW: I feel sad for Dawn coming home to see her father necking on the couch with a strange woman. And then remembering her father is Wilbur Weston. That calls for getting shit faced.
Is Gearhead’s Mother Nature how “Alice” would look if someone other than Pablo Picasso drew the strip?
@Peanut Gallery: Ask Wilburp if a Chocodile™ is a Twinkie™!
Low and Hi-less: “Mr Foofram, ever notice how your shiny hair makes it look like you have Mercury wings on your head?”
MW: It’s probably been mentioned and I missed it, but Belle Batsfry is actually quite the Dick-Tracy-esque name, isn’t it?
FC: Daddy used his “math” to predict that Melon Baller was going to beat Prancing Pretzel in the fifth. Good thing we weren’t going to need that college fund anyway.
Bil can use all the math he wants, but he will never realize Jeffy is The Mule.
@Ukulele Ike:
@Old School Allie Cat: @Roy Batty: Who remembers Hatlo’s They’ll Do It Every Time?
Josh featured it often. It also died in 2008, after an eight decade run.
”The Urge”
TDIET was under the pen of Al Scaduto when he passed, at which point they retired the strip.
I have a signed original from Mr. Scaduto of a suggestion I sent in that he illustrated and put in the paper in July 2007.
After his death, members of this forum sent flowers to his family from the Comics Curmudgeon family. I don’t know who was in charge of that kind act, but his family loved it. My guess is that Uncle Lumpy probably had a hand in it.
I’ve often got the urge to…
Also, do I love Bladerunner? Yes, yes I do.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
LUANN: My attitude toward Bwad over the decades has ranged between mild disgust and loathing. But watching Bwad listening to sex advice from TJ, of all people, and remembering that TJ lives with Bwad and presumably hears a lot of the sex, and seeing that sad bonkers fertility chart that seems to illustrate the reproductive schedule of some other species, is a reminder that just being Bwad is punishment enough.
Happy 53rd anniversary, Funky Winkerbean!
@Old School Allie Cat: And did I cry when Roy Batty died? Yes, yes I did.
@Old School Allie Cat: I miss TDIET and Al Scaduto’s work. Thanks.
@Old School Allie Cat: Okay, I can’t stop wondering. What was your suggestion? I’m sure we CCers knew at the time, but my memory isn’t that good, alas.
Gearhead Gertie: I was 70% sure this was a Slylock Fox Six Differences puzzle for a second. (Answers: Hair, footstool, customized armchair, word balloon shape, camera angle, footwear)
Back in the late 1980’s did any of you eat this?
@Sequitur: I can’t say I’ve ever had the “pleasure.”
@Sequitur:
Did. It was…okay? It was no Cap’n Crunch (any incarnation)
Marvin Spanish to English.
@LTJpezcore1: #112: Only if she has a head shaped like a belfry, or a face like a South American fruit bat.
@taig:
Luann: “I had to look this up. “Breaking Wind” is a sub-Scary Movie parody of the Twilight movie series. Honestly, I think they’d be better off watching Antichrist.”
The sequel “Break Like the Wind!” was far superior. How many times must a man remind you of this, before he is too drunk to see? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind (x2)
FC: Adult Jeffy tries rather desperately to update a “Kids these days and their fancy pocket calculators, eh? They’ll forget how to do sums!” strip, as was the fashion in the early eighties, by cramming a computer into the space previously occupied by the calculator. I would respect this slightly more if it went further, and Billy was instead in awe at Big Daddy Keane’s ability to actually use a calculator, since the only way he knows to do maths is to ask ChatGTP and get told the wrong answer.
HtH: “Of course, one day I hope to take a pilgrimage to Lindisfarne to see the relics of St Cuthbert, but that’s not really a ‘vacation’ as such. Have you ever been, Hägar?”
“Um, yeah. I wouldn’t bother, honestly, there’s nothing to the place. Well, not any more, anyway.”
MW:Punny name, wacky misunderstanding, and now comedy lipstick marks … I see what you’re going for, Moy, but there’s a difference between writing a farce and writing that’s farcical.
Phantom: And so Weezie’s cunning and convoluted plan for her brother to drown chasing Kadia so she gets to be the 22nd Phantom bears fruit.
Pluggers: Counterpoint: so many other Pluggers strips saying that Pluggers are very aware of their great age at all times.
Beetle Bailey Spanish to English.
@Old School Allie Cat: That was also around when I began reading (and mostly lurking). I’m pretty sure the first post I read featured Mark Trail (which I had never heard of before) yelling “Don’t worry! Dan’s a great swimmer! COME TO THE SURFACE DAN!” while his friend was apparently drowning outside his window and I laughed so hard I became an instant fan of the soap strips.
@128 Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
Break Like The Wind was a 1992 album by Spinal Tap.
@Sequitur: Geez Louise! I can’t say I ever remember seeing that because if I did I’d have wanted it for sure!
Rex Morgan M.D. Spanish to English.
@Treetown: #100: I remember the bad old days of the funny drunk, when a C-list comedian could make a lifetime career schtick of it, like Foster Brooks or Frank Fontaine AKA Crazy Guggenheim. I think the switch in public opinion occured sometime between the two “Arthur” films starring Dudley Moore. In the first one he came off as amusing and endearing but by the time of the sequel he was merely pathetic.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: I suppose agents can’t divulge certain things, but the drug use at GT is quite the revelation. Apparently Marty Moon is more far gone than we thought.
@Lauralot: #30: re-FC: Did your Latin professor also tell you that Julius Caesar could read on one subject, write on another, carry on a conversation, and listen to another, all at the same time? Learned that from Ripley’s Believe or Not.
@GarrisonSkunk: Somehow I missed that controversy! ♪ It takes a while… to argue about a Chocodile
@Poteet:
It was that when people leave a voicemail, they will talk slowly and explain who they are and what they want super slow, but then as soon as they get to the phone number, they speed through it. Given smartphones, it did not age well. But I was working in a Customer Support role at the time, and it happened DAILY.
I bet they can spell phone correctly
@Sequitur:
I did.
FC-Daddy’s busy writing “Mary Worth”.
Pretty much anywhere you work in Boston, if you have tickets to opening day, you just take a personal or vacation day and all anyone will call you is Lucky Bastid.
Really, though, in pretty much any office, taking a day off for a ballgame is nothing anyone would so much as blink at.
@141 Liam:
Were you disappointed that you didn’t get new comics every morning?
Has any Keane ever done paperwork? Even in Family Circus, in whatever distant past it lives its zombie existence, there should be a computer or at least a calculator on the desk. I’m as good at arithmetic as anybody I know, but wouldn’t think of doing anything important without checking the calculations, preferably using a spreadsheet for review & records.
@Little Blue Bicycle: re GT: No, I don’t think we’re lettin’ the Cat outta the bag when we mention that they’re all flyin’ high over there. You’ve probably noticed that they’ve destroyed most of the sets and backgrounds – I’m surprised the stables are still standing. You understand why we need to rescue those Equine actors pronto. Melody is workin’ on a plan already… at one time we woulda asked Mark Trail to help – before he became such a candy-ass.
@Ukulele Ike: Who remembers Hatlo’s They’ll Do It Every Time?
I can remember when it was “The Urge to Kill” instead of just “The Urge.”
I also remember J.R. Williams’ “Out Our Way,” which featured cartoons set in a machine shop, under the title “Bull of the Woods,” in reference to the boss of the shop. This was where I learned about sarcasm as a mere child. It’s probably held me back in life.
DustinDad: “God, my son is so lazy and terrible! That’s the problem with his generation: No sense of discipline whatsoever!” *scarfs down two more donuts*
@taig:
Bil can use all the math he wants, but he will never realize Jeffy is The Mule.
Did you mean Bing Crosby’s mule? because it fits.
A mule is an animal with long funny ears
he kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny and his brain is weak
he’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
and by the way if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule
FC: Billy could have substituted near any verb or verbal phrase for “doing math” and, given that this is the Keane family, it still would have made perfect sense.
GG: When I think of Mother Nature I don’t picture a sawed-off Phyllis Diller in a Barcalounger but it makes a kind of sense that Gertie does.
@Hibbleton: It does. I was referencing this guy, however.
@Sequitur: Nah, in the late 80s I was in my late 20s and hadn’t touched breakfast cereal in twenty years.
I occasionally have cereal with fruit and yogurt these days, but it’s the fancy healthy artisanal kind with ancient grains and seeds and almonds. In the late 60s I was strictly a Quisp man.
I brought up They Do It Every Time because it existed within the timeline of this blog. But if you want to talk about Happy Hooligan, Count Screwloose, Barnaby, and Abbie n’ Slats, I can do that too.
“I peeked at Daddy’s paper and it just says ‘All work and no play makes Bil a dull boy.'”
New list from GoComics
18 Comics to Pair With a Glass of Wine
FC – “Daddy invented a NEW way of doing math. It involves translating all the basic concepts into set theory, and for teaching elementary school kids it’s an incredibly fucking stupid idea.”
@Voshkod: All I said was, “Here’s Bil(l)y!” when I axed him about it….
@Liam: Dear Dip- Shit, Dear Dip-Shit, you have no complaint – you aren’t what you are, and you are what you ain’t….
C-Shaft: On some days you can actually figure out what Crankshaft was trying to say with his malapropisms. Today is not one of those days.
DT: The fellows sent were the hopeless bad mustache nephews acting on behalf of Auntie Claire so in answer to Lizz’s question, Much Wackiness Ensued.
Dustin: The box reads “__nkin Donuts,” so from whence do these donuts come? Dunkin’ Donuts, of course, rebranded the donuts out of their name years ago, so it can’t be them. My money would be on Sinkin Donuts, as in, “I’ve got a sinkin’ feeling Dustin won’t be funny today, either.”
Luann: Breaking Wind appears to be a 2012 parody of the Twilight saga that may or may not rise to the Seltzer & Friedberg level of competence. If ever a movie’s best bet for a new audience was a brief mention in Luann, this is that movie.
MW: Not to tell the colorists how to do his job but this would have been a great chance to use a greenish tint for Dawn’s face.
Phantom: The three possibilities are: somehow make it out to the cargo ship, drown, or continue talking to Kit Jr. Kadia has made it clear which of these options she likes least.
RMMD: The bed is currently empty so this looks less like gallantry and more like masochism.
Ziggy: Leave it to the IRS to try and take credit when the Righteous are raptured up to Heaven smh.
RMMD: Augie! Take a tip from John Lennon. Crawl off to sleep in the bath.
In the morning you can either smoke a joint or set fire to Summer’s house, depending on which Beatles lyrics an@lyst you prefer.
@Old School Allie Cat: I like that!
GG: That’s the fugliest comic-strip depiction of Mother Nature I ever saw, which I suppose makes sense in GG.
@Liam: He should be writing “Ask Wendy.” Even he couldn’t be worse at that than Mary.
@Poteet: But wait, if he’s writing MARY WORTH, than he IS writing “Ask Wendy.” It’s crazy turtles all the way down.
@161 Poteet:
There are dozens of Mother Nature. This one is really pissed she was assigned to NASCAR.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Re Dustin: Punkin Donuts. They’re left over from November.
MT: And here I assumed that all major airports had comprehensive security plans and staff to deal with a full variety of problems, including accidental wildlife entrances. Is this your client, Sid? Nice acrobatic work if so.
@Voshkod: Or soap-box derby racing.
@The Rambling Otter: Old Lady, Were-Raccoon, Hodag, Chupacabra, changing the creature that does nothing but bitch about Nascar does nothing to improve the strip. Now if we made the strip about mezcal running Chupacabras in fast cars outrunning and outgunning ICE, we might be onto something.
@Peanut Gallery: “Nancy, this is a very punk meal.” ~ Sluggo
@taig: The best Twilight parody I ever saw was (of all things) the Sesame Street parody-short “Twilight: Breaking Cookie”
The Bella Swan parody was so hilariously over-the-top monotone, and the whole thing was just well, fun.
@The Rambling Otter: That sounds like fun. I’ll have to check it out.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’m sure MADD had a little to do with it as well
@Ukulele Ike: #152: You ate Quisp too? Remember the promotional they ran where you could get a ring with a small meteorite fragment mounted in it? Or at least they said it was a meteorite fragment. Got mine, how about you?
Quisp was partnered with another cereal, Quake. They were almost like eating sugar cubes floating in milk. The TV commercials even had some crossover appearances by Captain Crunch.
@Poteet: Mark Trail has cushioned his Big City culture shock by landing at a little-known New York airport that doesn’t even have a PA system, just a guy yelling in the one hallway to make an announcement
What is Thirsty doing to forestall the firing he obviously deserves? That’s a potentially interesting issue for the “Hi and Lois” writers to explore if they’re looking for new ideas, which they obviously aren’t.
Oops, I used “obviously” in two consecutive sentences. My English teacher wouldn’t be happy.
@Lee S.: Thirsty hired a guy to take secret and unauthorized vacation photos of Mr. Foofram. ‘Nuff said.
In the second panel, Hi is thinking about how Thirsty has so much paid time off he can use for fun stuff because he doesn’t have kids.
@Downpuppy:
Solid advice
@Naked Bunny with a Whip: I am hearing that! Hi hates Thursty for it. He is extremely jealous.
@Hibbleton: @richardf8:@The Rambling Otter: Old Lady, Were-Raccoon, Hodag, Chupacabra, changing the creature that does nothing but bitch about Nascar does nothing to improve the strip
__________________________________
Gertie Raccoon fell back in her room only to find a guide to NASCAR/Now she and her man,who called himself damned for having to live with such a monster.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Quisp was partnered with another cereal, Quake. They were almost like eating sugar cubes floating in milk. The TV commercials even had some crossover appearances by Captain Crunch.
________________
Wasn’t there also Quangaroos? Orange kangaroo flavored?
If I was doing Gearhead Gertie, I would have run out of NASCAR jokes by the 7th or 8th one. And that’s even after googling racing terms since I known nothing about NASCAR.
Side note, I found that a good portion of the Wikipedia article is devoted to citing this blog. Googling “Gearhead Gertie” also has lots of hits on this site (and not too much else).
@JustSomeGuy: If I was doing Gearhead Gertie
Ew. You people are perverted.