The drool-blob is genuinely upsetting
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Blondie, 3/15/25
You gotta imagine that, when you’re talking to Dagwood Bumstead, there’s always a danger that he’s going to stare off into the distance, licking his lips, as he descends into a food-driven fugue state. It’s probably pretty off-putting and it’s honestly surprising that more people don’t just avoid him. Certainly his mailman has no real professional obligation to interact with him as much as he does!
Daddy Daze, 3/15/25
The central mystery of Daddy Daze is, I suppose, whether the Daddy Daze baby actually communicates with the Daddy Daze daddy in an elaborate language of “ba”s that the Daddy Daze daddy can understand, or if literally every strip we see is just the Daddy Daze daddy doing an elaborate series of bits with a baby who is too young to consent to participate in them. But the secondary mystery is undoubtedly “Why are the “Daddy Daze daddy and the infrequently seen Daddy Daze mommy no longer together, despite the fact that they had a baby together quite recently?” Today, the answer is clearly that, whether the baby is a willing participant or not, a life with the Daddy Daze daddy is obviously a life spent subject to endless bits, and such a life is to be avoided at all costs.
Judge Parker, 3/15/25
Aw, isn’t that nice? Randy is sad about his sister going to prison, so his trained CIA assassin wife is helping him cope by cutting off his oxygen supply, sending him off to a peaceful sleep, possibly forever.
85 replies to “The drool-blob is genuinely upsetting”
JP. I guess “I need to run an idea by you” is the new “Netflix and chill.”
MW: Nothing is more romantic than Belle first seeing a swimsuited Wilbur in the moonlight, unless it’s total darkness.
RMMD: Wait, Summer absolutely needs to hire a lawyer to get a restraining order? What the hell state does this comic exist in?
H&L: …and speaking of restraining order.
BG&SS impresses me with an actual two-strip arc.
That peanut butter sandwich (hydrogenated fat and white bread) could be the healthiest thing Pluggers has shown them eating in a month.
MW: Well, no WONDER Wilbur isn’t ready to resume his Wendy column! He’s too busy churning out these Pulitzer-worthy gems.
RMMD: Easy there, Augie. You hardly know Summer. Is she really worth going all Rambo for?
Blondie: It’s the highlight of the mailman’s otherwise boring day to think up a food based saying to get Dagwood to start drooling. Tomorrow, he speaks of his ‘salad’ days.
MW – Wilbur BOLDS random WORDS…when he TYPES?
JP: In his latest boondoggle, New York City Mayor Adams installs hardwood flooring at all intersections.
Blondie – Honey…could I slather your tits with mint jelly tonight….
D-D – Bird flu to human crossover from raw eggs….
JP – Yes – a rigorous tit/back massage – your troubles will melt away….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Not going to lie: Between Dagwood’s appetite, the baby being a baby and whatever the hell might be going on between Randy and April in Judge Parker it took me a while to figure out which strip had the “drool blob” referenced in today’s headline. It was not unlike a “Slylock Fox” game for comics-reading adults.
FC: “Us” AKA, The Filthy Four.
Blondie: Remember that dentist from Minnesota who got canceled for shooting a lion? Reckon we could get Dagwood canceled the same way by saying “lion” around him enough while he’s hungry?
JP-Translation: “Glen, I need to do you.”
RMMD-Run him down with your car and take him to Rex Morgan?
MW-Gah! We don’t need that image in our minds.
MW-“The weather is angry like an old man trying to return soup.”
Daddy Daze daddy divorced Daddy Daze mommy when she grew that mustache.
MW: “PS, here’s the $5000 I owe you for the last two days you escorted me. Hope the rash clears up soon!”
GT: This game actually made ESPN Sports Center, for occurring outdoors during a whiteout blizzard. Weird what that snowfall and wind does to sound.
DD: Those “ba”s in the last panel are coming from inside the cookie jar, aren’t they? I do NOT want to know what’s in there.
Luann: “This gets stupider by the second.”
Summary of this strip.
Daddy Daze: Neither of these two is the baby’s actual parent. This mysterious creature, who communicates with adults telepathically, has been mind-controlling the “Daddy” into taking care of him, a process that has been gradually eroding the man’s sanity. (The “ba-ba-ba” sound is to lull adults into a receptive state.) He occasionally forces the “Daddy” to visit the “Mommy” when he has additional needs — such as conceiving a potential future sibling, or when he runs out of cookies.
Blondie: I don’t know what’s worse — that Blondie and Dagwood have arranged their furniture so they never have to sit together or even face each other, or that Blondie has such terrible ergonomics when using her laptop that her posture will eventually become just as bad as her husband’s. (The latter won’t matter to Dag, so long as she can still reach the oven and stove well enough to satisfy his ravenous hunger several times a day. But the rest of us have come to depend on a certain level of physical perfection when it comes to this particular comic-strip character.)
Pluggers: Yes, the Wonder Bread brand still exists, but it’s harder to find these days. I suspect this plugger saved the polyethylene bag from a loaf he purchased 30 years ago, and repackages whatever generic slices of fiberless white bread happen to be on sale in a given week. He believes it imparts a bit of the original bland flavor, like a treasured sourdough starter.
Scylla is a weather report triggering a food fugue state for Dagwood, Charybdis is a weather report triggering a sex fugue state for Wilbur Weston.
Luann: wouldn’t some kind of blood donor society in Canada we have Canadian Blood Services, be involved in any kind of blood drive? Where are they? Are these idiots planning on filling sandwich bags with blood and then find some organization to take the blood?
MW: OMG, just look at panel 2. I never, ever thought I’d see a man masturbating in a newspaper comic. I need a shower.
GT: As the ill-fated shot leaves Leo Atazhoon’s hands, the color is drained from his jersey. Meanwhile, a large clump of hair falls from Coach Gerads’ left temple in celebration.
RMMD: “Not legal? Like what?” “You kill him, obviously. Du-uh.”
Shoe: That’s actually pretty good!
@Hibbleton:
JP: In his latest boondoggle, New York City Mayor Adams installs hardwood flooring at all intersections.
Ha haaaa, good one, Hibbleton!
Daddy Daze: I just realized, Daddy had to rehearse this skit with his kid. He had to teach a baby with the attention span of a donut to lift the lid and then send his shrill baby voice echoing into the cookie jar on cue.
All for an audience of one. Honestly, respect and fear is the only appropriate response.
@BigTed: Hmmm… like that Doctor Who episode, where the parents have a young son, but have “vague memories” about conceiving him. Turns out the kid was a just a very lonely alien who wanted to have a family and has panic attacks if separated from them.
@Cleveland Mocks: Do you think Sophie – or whoever that is – has hardwood floors?
@Hibbleton: honestly I LOLd
@The Rambling Otter: I’d say a lot of legacy comics fit the “Doctor Who” template — in that they’ve been around for more than 60 years, and every so often there’s a noticeable change in the lead character’s appearance.
Blondie My partner and I bought a home about six months ago, which means I am still in a major cycle of figuring out optimal room layouts. So when I see that final panel, all I can think is…really? You’re just jamming two completely different chairs together at a 90 degree angle in the middle of the room? Is this acceptable in our society? Because if so I have wasted months of my life…
DD: I’m sorry, I’m just imagining my ex showing up at my door saying “I spent the day loading up our baby with raw cookie dough. He’s all yours now”
JP: The Parkerverse is a lot like our reality except that the rich have even more(!) power. You can tell by the subtle differences, like the fact that Manhattan has had hardwood flooring installed.
@Hibbleton: dangit, oversnarked there. Great minds etc. I like yours better,
@Professor Well Actually: That’d be the bloodmobile. It’s basically a van or bus that’s used to hold and transport the blood. Earlier strip said the red cross was going to be there, which is the primary organization in the u.s. that handles blood donation.
RMMD: Summer doesn’t need a restraining order, she needs a peace bond. Those can be obtained with a simple application to the court, and require only the fear of harassment.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Usually you are so vulgar. It’s a refreshing change to discuss interior design. Why the sudden interest in someone’s interior?
As usual, Rex Morgan MILF Diver sets us up for something that sounds interesting – Augie Doggie Style taking care of the issue in non-legal ways. All the possibilities: Taking some of his savings from being a teacher and hiring someone to rough up Scruffy McScrotum. Planting evidence to get Scruffy arrested for child p0rn. Taking a dump in a paper bag and starting it on fire on Scruffy’s doorstep.
But we all know by Monday the issue will be resolved with something like the news that Scruffy has moved out of the state.
Having such consistency to cling to makes our lives better.
@Professor Well Actually:
Luann- Not that I’m defending this stupid arc but, the Red Cross is equivalent to your Canadian Blood whatever….
@Professor Well Actually: @Yside: It’s still odd that they’re doing this without any input from the Red Cross people. I wonder if they’ve even been told about this blood drive, or if the Fuze Brain Trust just expects to call them up the day of and have a full phlebotomy team sent over right away.
FC – A real birthday gift for Thel would have been to take the kids to the Pied Piper’s Pizza!
Blondie: The meaning of the term “trigger” has eroded through its inclusion and misuse in the popular lexicon; where once it referred to something that made a trauma survivor flash back to their painful experiences, it now is employed to describe anything the viewer finds unpleasant or upsetting. And now that it has been used in Blondie to describe the onset of a Dagwood eating binge (which is traumatic for those around him, but not Dagwood himself) it has officially outlived its usefulness.
JP: “Aw, cheer up, honey! Some of the best years of my life were spent in prison!”
@Little Blue Bicycle: You can take solace in the thought that it’s an echo showing how very empty the jar is.
DD: “I have no idea how his underdeveloped digestive system is going to react to raw cookie dough. You should probably have him squat on the cookie jar for the rest of the day.”
It’s a good thing that modern day Dagwood is middle class, because a rich Bumstead would have gone out to his underground exotic food club to have some lion this day.
Rex Morgan: It probably says bad things about the art when April and Sophie look so identical that for the briefest of moments I thought this comic show April teleporting to the mall after using Instant Transmission from Dragon Ball.
CS: Ok, that’s Ritchie Rich. Cute, but who’s old enough to get the joke? Oh wait, the average comic strip reader. Never mind.
C’shaft: Wasn’t the whole point of Richie Rich that he had so much money that he never did anything so plebeian as use publicly funded transportation, but arrived to school in a bus-yellow limousine with a pool and a water slide in the back?
Dustin: And he wonders where Dustin gets it from.
GT: Caaaaaalled it.
MW: Wilbur insisting that he “doesn’t believe in long distance-relationships” while writing gushy e-mails to a woman who lives on the other side of the continent is…pretty typical Wilbur, honestly.
Pluggers eat like five year olds.
RMMD: “Also they’re all too interesting to be used in Rex Morgan.”
Luann: Man, Tiffany is so shallow and self-absorbed! Unlike Luann, who once considered donating a kidney so the cute guy who changes the colostomy bags at the old folk’s home would notice her.
@Sex-Negative Nellie:
Miss Nellie (if I may be so bold to address you in this manner), I admire your upstanding moral character. I hope we can meet some time for coffee or another non-alcoholic beverage. Could I interest you in a Cleveland Steamer?
JP: “I need to run an idea by you. If only we lived in an era where people could communicate verbally in some other way than face to face….”
MW – There goes my appetite for the rest of the day.
6Chix – Those jackets and hats will absolutely protect them from the giant meteor.
Looks Good On Paper – That’s actually Henrietta Beak. She was visiting her cousin in Hootin Holler, and they stumbled on Snuffy Smif’s meth lab.
9CL – Wasn’t Hugh cowering in the bathroom?
@Enormous Dump:
No thank you. I wouldn’t take the chance of you putting an adulterant in the drink, if you catch the double meaning ha ha, and then do something gross involving poop or something.
JP:
SNAP CRACKLE POP
‘Did you bring me Rice Krispies, April dear?”
“Nope. Just crushing your vertebrae!”
MW: Wilbur composes an email that he thinks is a romantic recollection. In reality, frat boys are spreading around the pictures of him in a Speedo as a hazing ritual to make their pledges vomit the cheap beer they’ve been drinking.
That’s why you don’t give out your email address to just anyone.
For someone who told his daughter (and only his daughter, ick) that he “hit it and quit it,” Wilbur’s a little too attached to the idea of a vacation fling. Personally I still think that Belle was just a fantasy that Wilbur made up so that he can brag about getting laid with no strings attached to his friends. Unfortunately, the only “friend” he has is Dawn who is enabling his delusions rather than tell him to shut up about his stupid love life.
Father of the Year right there.
A&J: The fourth wall collapses.
JP: Random passersby clipped from an earlier strip. At least they cut out the Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon.
DT: “Only one way to find out, Lizz…now bend over and grasp your ankles firmly.”
RMMD: “Maybe if you tried an even less attractive hairstyle, he would lose interest.”
JP: Meanwhile, Sophie vandalizes the George Segal installation by spray-painting the sculptural figures pink.
@Enormous Dump:
@Sex-Negative Nellie: Miss Nellie (if I may be so bold to address you in this manner), I admire your upstanding moral character. I hope we can meet some time for coffee or another non-alcoholic beverage. Could I interest you in a Cleveland Steamer?
For the record, I had nothing whatsoever to do with that post.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Wow, I was thinking that Augie had a checkered past, and could maybe just threaten Stalker McGoatee effectively. It would be great to see how the Rex Morgan, MD, artist, which his huge hand gesture fetish, would handle any of the circumstances you image. As you correctly presume, nothing of interest will happen. Summer won’t even be depicted in a lewed and/or lascivious manner.
Beetle Bailey-“Wrong. You’re going to Vietnam,” Sarge says cocking his gun.
Gil Thorp-An eternal game of basketball shall forever be played in that featureless white void.
@ValdVin:
Belle is most likely a fat woman, probably fatter than Wilbur, and one of those entitled fat people think “fat acceptance” is great and refuses to pay for two seats on a plane, rejoicing in her fat spilling over into the unfortunate person sitting next to her.
Gil Thorp: From the good folks who brought you Big Mouth Billy Bass the singing fish, now there’s Ronco Rim, the basketball rim that blares “BRICK!” when the ball hits it at just the correct angle. Get yours now!
@UncleJeff: I like the occasional meta-joke they have in Arlo and Janis.
@Sex-Negative Nellie: By adluterant, did you mean something like what happened in my neck of the woods?
Charges Dropped Against Man Who Allegedly Ejaculated In Co-Worker’s Coffee
My, but you have a dirty mind. When you inquired earlier about my interest in interior decorating (since I asked about Sophie’s hardwood floors), I thought you were serious. But now that I see what a wild babe you are, I’ll note that I’d like to examine your interior.
Blondie – People around Dagwood have their own version of algospeak to avoid triggering the hunger within.
Daddy Daze – We talk about the cycle of poverty and how it impacts generation after generation, but too little time is spent discussing the cycle of vaudeville, which will impact the latest generation of the “Daze” clan.
Mary Worth: Stop it. This weather deep-dive is no doubt destined to get Belle all hawt and bothered, and not in a way that can be measured in Fahrenheit or Celsius, but this is supposed to be for family newspapers. Take it to Weatherporn.com please.
/edit – I just checked, and Weatherporn.com actually does exist but is not currently functional. Available for purchase though from a domain squatter, though. This must be some sort of Rule 34 corollary: “if it exists, and porn of it somehow doesn’t exist, that merely reflects a state of quantum uncertainty and there is still Schroedinger’s Porn of it.”
DT: Man, I hate it when this strip starts delving into sci-fi. I refer, of course, to replacing Lizz with an alien who has no nose but four nostrils.
FC: The kids are kids, they don’t know any better. Big Daddy Keane in the background, smiling the blissful smile of someone who’s absolutely sure it’s never his turn to get the kids ready? That’s another story.
FG: “If even being mind-controlled to be a brutal dictator couldn’t turn Flash into a cold-blooded killer, it thereby follows that all the other aspects of being a brutal dictator were really part of him all along” is some messed-up logic, but something it seems plausible for Dr Tyr to believe, so fair enough.
MW: Content warning! For pity’s sake, give us a content warning!
RMMD: Dear Wendy,
Some unfortunate experiences with online dating have left me with a stalker who I’m trying to get a restraining order against. At the same time, I have met a guy who is perfect in just about every way. However, he’s proposing that murdering the stalker might be a simpler solution. Is this something I should be concerned about?
Girlfriend in Glenwood
Dear Girlfriend,
The past only exists in how you remember it. Once you’re rid of the stalker, you can pretend he never existed, and then it doesn’t really matter how you got rid of him, does it?
Wendy
OTF: Seriously, Holbrook, just skip ahead to “and then the Mars mission happened as seen in Safe Havens and now both strips are in sync” before more people start thinking “Didn’t the Safe Havens cast miss the Covid lockdowns because they were on Mars? And haven’t the Covid lockdowns already happened in On the Fastrack?”
Phantom: They aren’t thinking that, Weezie. Even your brother isn’t that dumb. They’re thinking “Oh, great, she’s making some lame excuse to leave us alone as part of her utterly blatant campaign to get us together. She could have outright said that’s what she was doing and it wouldn’t have been any more obvious!”
RMMD: One of the best kept secrets of Glenwood High is the Fight Club that Augie runs after school in the basement. The loyal students and alums would always be happy to do Augue a favor.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: But now that I see what a wild babe you are, I’ll note that I’d like to examine your interior.
There, see? I knew your invitation wasn’t on the up and up.
@Guaedy Greene: Nah, Wilbur’s one of those hypocrites who doesn’t date “fat chicks” even though he himself is notably obese. He’s like a much more unlikeable version of George Costanza without the Freudian excuse of abusive and embarrassing parents.
The Familliar Mucus: Is that signature a four leaf clover or Billy, Age 5’s attempt at drawing four melonheads?
Anyone want to see Aunty Acid on a toilet?
@Hibbleton:
I’m not sure “salad” would work. How about, “I watched a 50’s sci-fi movie last night. Boy was it cheesy!”
@Horace Broon:
RMMD-Dear Girlfriend, The stalker’s name perhaps wouldn’t be Wilbur Weston?
Cookies anyone?
Breaking Cat News brings you chocolate chip cookies.
#69 is wide open and I can’t think of a single thing to write.
Wife joke.
My wife and I were looking out our kitchen window watching the bird feeding station in our backyard where a flock of blsckbirds were feeding. Suddenly, they all flew up in a tree except for one bird who kept eating. I said, “I wonder why that one bird didn’t go up in the tree with the others?” My wife replied, “He must have been the one who tooted.”
@Sequitur: It turns out that my answer was “no,” but you gave very fair warning, and it could have been far worse.
DD: Back when I made cookies, I would make a double or triple batch because it seemed like a more efficient use of time and effort than making just one batch. But even assuming that Daddy is a one-batch guy, that’s a fair amount of cookie dough to ingest, especially if the cookie recipe included raw eggs, because eating raw eggs is considered a little dicey now. And did Weird Baby eat a lot of cookie dough, which would seem even more dicey? This is why I’m grateful that DD shows up on CC only occasionally. I end up musing about it, which is rarely a problem with, say, MARVIN.
@Sequitur: I like your wife already.
@Sequitur: I appreciate anyone who can make a good fart joke.
Can it still be called a joke if it doesn’t make you laugh? Wouldn’t it be just some sentences at some point?
Don Abundio, translated:
“I think I’ll write a good nasty complaint letter”
“All I’ve got in here is ballpoint pens! I need a writing implement that’s appropriate for the job!”
“There… Dear Acme Feather Pillow Company…”
In The Sticks: Animated!
Daddy Daze – And the result? Salmonella poisoning.
@BeckoningChasm:
I’m not sure “salad” would work. How about, “I watched a 50’s sci-fi movie last night. Boy was it cheesy!”
Good but maybe “too” good. The mailman has to consider Dagwood might take a bite out of his arm.
Hi and Lois – Now I’m wondering just what sort of mind-scarring experiences Hi has had with Thirsty borrowing his ladder, that prompt him to ask “What for?”
Blondie: I feel like you could end with “did I hit a food trigger” or “honey, how ‘bout lamb tonight” and you’d have a joke. Not a great one, but functioning. Instead of a joke explanation for simpletons.
DD: Childless lifelong bachelor here, but I can only imagine that if I had an ex-wife who was also the mother of my infant child I’d avoid sentences that started with “So…” and ended with “and X got out of hand” unless they were absolutely necessary. Lack of freshly-baked cookies doesn’t qualify.
JP: Ah, I see Sophie is walking by the place where they’re holding the convention of Pepto Bismol mascots. It truly is the city that never sleeps.
Peanuts Begins; When Charlie Brown could fly a kite.
@82 Peanut Gallery:
And the fact he didn’t lend Thirsty the ladder but gave him an alternate solution.