Friday is for Pop(s)
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Beetle Bailey, 4/4/25
That’s right, Zero! Article 17 of the Third Geneva Convention establishes that POWs are only required to give their name, rank, and service number to their captors; their identity so established is used for the administration of their rights under Article 71 to send and receive letters and cards, as supervised by the International Committee of the Red Cross. Your parents will be glad to know you’re alive and safe in … whatever country the men of Camp Swampy have been deployed to invade. It looks heavily forested, wherever it is. Good luck, fellas!
Gil Thorp, 4/4/25
Some say “Pops” was the heart and soul of Milford. Some say that he and “Pop” were the same person, while others say they were twin brothers, one of whom wore fancy clothes while the other wore workingman’s attire and a dumb hat. But everyone agreed that he sucked at coaching sports. He sucked so bad that Gil was credited with “turn[ing] the program around.” Gil! The coach we’ve been following for all these years, who frankly is not very good!
Hi and Lois, 4/4/25
I really love how exhausted Hi looks here. He’s reading that magazine right up until the final moment of unconsciousness, filling his mind with golf and nothing but golf. Golf will be the last thing he sees while he’s awake, so golf will be all he sees while he’s asleep! Golf, wonderful golf! Oh, also his wife is right there or whatever.
Family Circus, 4/4/25
“Let the kids watch PBS,” you said. “It’ll be educational and culturally enriching,” you said. “Definitely they won’t see a lady get stabbed to death by her jealous lover,” you said.
139 replies to “Friday is for Pop(s)”
Questionable Discontent:
Anh actually has potential as a character. Far more so than “I dropped out of college because I literally can’t be bothered to study” Ayo or “I am misunderstood child genius” Appleboom. She’s got contacts in the robot field, she has money, she clearly isn’t overly bothered about stepping on toes, and she could be a revitalising force in the tired old drag of this strip.
Instead of which she’ll be wasted on stupid “I am bi and I don’t understand how the poors live” one note rubbish.
At least we can say one thing: the focus on Ahn can only mean Jephthy’s more or less giving up on Cubetown.
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Is Anhtenna an independent entity? Is it some kind of alien brain parasite attached to Anhlikeable’s head? I can’t explain its wriggling around any other way.
That would also explain her behaviour. She’s being controlled by an alien who’s still exploring earth civilisation.
GT:
“Others say he looked suspiciously like former national security advisor John Bolton.”
H and L:
“Why do you read golf magazines before you go to sleep?”
“Well, it’s kind of par for the course for me!”
H&L: I think it would have been less annoying for Lois if Hi just read a Playboy.
MW: Dawn, you’re like twenty years old. You don’t have to go on your dad’s dates. And, Wilbur, you’re a dumbass. Not just because you think karaoke solves everything but because you’re really are a dumbass.
Hägår thé Hørrïblê:
His what?
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Beaten Daily:
Any enemy unfortunate enough to capture this lot would be well advised to return them immediately to consume resources, be utterly useless, and get in everyone’s way.
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Wrecks Moregone:
“So you don’t know for a fact that your boyfriend here didn’t murder him?”
“Right, officer. Just like I don’t know for a fact that we’ve been raptured, though we’re currently so high up in the sky we can’t even see the ground.
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Wary Morth:
During karaoke, Belle beats Dusk to death with her microphone.
Hopefully.
GT:
“But some say he never really left. In fact, when Beth the Bartendress was fashioning a creation out of clay one day at a local potting studio, she felt Pops’ nurturing, protective, caressing presence behind her. And then, he wouldn’t let go, which was more than a little annoying.”
Unfortunately Coach Thorpe turned things around 360°. Yeet!
@Needless Exposition: And, yes, the Thai restaurant was something that Dawn wanted but if she doesn’t want to go to a steakhouse with Batshit Belle and Dumbass Wilbore, she can stay at home and eat nondairy ice cream out of the carton.
MW: Dawn’s apprehension grows when Belle chooses No Body, No Crime by Taylor Swift as her Karaoke song.
BB: A timely reminder, as it seems that the whole company is getting captured right now, if those disappearing ‘trees’ are any indication.
GT Ok that’s all well and good, but whats Jay Leno doing there?
H&L So….Hi just jerked himself off to a golf magazine, yeah? I’m sorry to just say it like that but we’re all thinking it right?
Looking at the second panel of Gil Thorp, it’s nice to see the life of Mao Tse-Tung had a second act, less devoted to tyranny and the destruction of the capitalist world.
Lois is as tired of golf jokes as I am!
GT: When my son played serious sports in high school, poor coaches were held in mild contempt to downright hatred by the players. What I’m saying is “Pops” was murdered.
FC: Billy, when the expression on Jeffy’s face says “What a dumbass,” ya dun goofed.
MW: You’re right, Wilbur. Without the miraculous properties of karaoke, we wouldn’t have world peace. Oh, wait…
RMMD: Just check the deceased. I’m sure he has a note pinned to him reading, “I did it. Signed, The Red-Haired Teacher.”
FC: They’re going to LOVE “Pagliacci.” Kids love clowns!
B. Bailey: Sarge tries to protect his historical legacy by making sure his name doesn’t come up during questioning of the most incompetent POWs in history.
BB – So…it’s not that don’t ask/don’t tell stuff anymore?
GT – The good ol’ days – when all Milford was known for for was MILFs….
H&L – I like to employ the Arnold Palmer interlocking grip….
FC – Ya know – base hit…
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Family Circlejerk – I enjoyed this one today.
Killer seems an odd choice to be given the “Why?” line. It could have been part of Zero’s question, Beetle could have asked it just to irritate Sarge, or even Rocky, as part of his “stick it to the man” rebel persona. Killer’s mainly interested in getting laid.
SF: Yes, the answer to your question is yes, Hilary.
RMMD: Look at the cop’s face in the second panel. That’s a man who’s thinking ‘this is taking too damn long! Why can’t I just shoot these two and say all three of them died in a suicide pact? Thanks Brandon!!’
FC: This episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the color scarlet and the letter ‘A’!
MW – Do you think Batshit Bellefrey’s carpet matches the drapes? Or do you think she destroyed the evidence?
FC: More cleavage on display in today’s comic than in the previous century of Family Circus put together.
BB: Perhaps the most famous moment in British sitcom history is in WWII comedy Dad’s Army, where a Nazi invasion of England(!) captures our plucky heroes, and the German commander turns to naive Private Pike, who’s just insulted Hitler.
“Your name vill also go on ze list! Vat is it?”
And in response, the group captain shouts “Don’t tell ‘im, Pike!”
Anyway, all that is to say today’s Beetle Bailey has made me see the light. That punchline would be much funnier if the captain had shouted “Only tell him your name, rank and number, Private Pike P64474!”
Pluggers can’t send snail mail without screwing it up three times, even though they’re the only people who still send snail mail. Tomorrow’s Pluggers will show how they re-use all three wasted envelopes.
MW: “Maybe karaoke will lighten the mood!” Yes, Wilbur, karaoke has always been a great way for you to de-escalate tension! You’re such an expert at handling conflicts with women!
GT: “Milford wasn’t known for its excellent sports program until Gil Thorp turned things around. It still isn’t.”
Luann: Yeah, those funnel cakes and fried oreos will get the home fires burning. Now I see why you went on the Pulverizer first.
@Hibbleton: Oh, wait until you see what they actually do sing.
H&L: Improving his dream golf is also why Hi made Lois replace their sandy-colored sheets with bright green ones.
FC: Billy is happy that in Rossini’s Otello unlike others, once stabbed, Desdemona stops singing.
H&L: The next day Lois cancels Hi’s Golf Digest subscription and gets him a P*rnhub Premium account.
Gil Thorp: My son has an allergy to saying “Dad,” so my familial nomenclature is “Pa” or “Pop.” Meanwhile, we have 25-30 large feral vultures living in a pine tree near our house. I can only conclude from these data points that I am dead, RIP I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV, still Gil’s equal as a coach.
FC: Alright. Even in the darker shade of reality we live in, I still cannot comprehend that Billy would use the word “stabbed” I can see him saying “killed” or “attacked” but Stabbed is a little too brutal a vocabulary not just for a 7-year old, but for that comic as a whole.
But then again, this is probably a repeat from the 70’s regardless, with the text unedited.
@MKay: But what if they are Pagliacci?
GT – “Some say” is very useful when you want to blatantly lie, but with a fig leaf of plausible deniability! “Some say” Gil Thorp is a great comic strip!
FC – It was a mercy killing. The way she was a-hollerin’, she musta been in terrible pain and wouldn’t of lasted long anyhow.
@MKay:
“But doctor, you don’t understand! I AM Jeffy!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Where’s my food warming lamp?”
“Don Abundio’s using it as a sunlamp”
“He’s got some nerve!”
“You’d better put on some sunscreen, boss”
[Bottle: Barbecue Sauce]
The Family Circus: I find this panel wholly unrealistic. Billy’s not at all afraid of the little men with knives who live in the television set!
Also The Family Circus: Legit looking forward to Dolly belting out “Der Hölle Rache” and placing a knife in PJ’s hands tomorrow.
FC: I’m trying to figure out which opera this is. The leads’ costumes and the fact that the lady was just stabbed suggests Carmen, but the horrified chorus of onlookers and setting appear to be out of La Traviata, except for one lady on the left who seems to have wandered in from a community theater production of Once Upon a Mattress.
GT: I’m looking forward to seeing how Gil Thorp can make a vengeful ghost story utterly boring and inconsequential.
Pluggers use pencils in case they make mistakes but then forget about the erasers.
Beetle Bailey – Plato is hoping they invade Canada, because he is more than willing to hand over all the information he has in exchange for political asylum and a scholarship to study at McGill University.
Gil Thorp – It’s not whether you win or lose. Or follow continuity. Or can draw all that well. This strip pushed through Gil’s divorce, mid-life crisis to a heart attack and is spiraling toward death, which is how Pop(s) went out
Hi and Lois – It’s been established that Hi has lost his sex drive, even in his dreams, but thanks to the great coverage from Golf magazine, he still has a strong golf drive, if only in his dreams.
Family Circus – Billy outmenaced Dennis with his casual acceptance of femicide
H&L: Hi reads golf magazines to fall asleep because he finds golf just as boring as the rest of us do.
@Arabella:
Pluggers are the sort to be shocked that kids today don’t know how to address letters or fill out checks. But kids today have the excuse of never really being in practice, while Pluggers struggle with severe and undiagnosed dementia
Family Circus: in the Keane family’s religion, singing is punishable by death.
Hi and Lois: Lois: “Why do you read golf magazines before you go to sleep?”
Hi: “Just shut up, will you? How many times do I have to tell you to not talk when I’m reading a golf magazine?”
Mary Worth: Seated at that table in the background is Bizarro Belle, Dawn, and Wilbur: no one’s suggesting they do the thing anyone hates most, no one’s seething, no one’s dreaming of the sweet release of karaoke.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
That carpet’s a 2-tone shag with a Karen flip.
C’shaft: Yeah, you never know when your ninety-year-old father might want to start a new career as a professional arborist.
JP: Abbey has just discovered the theory of a constantly expanding universe.
Luann: Nausea, sudden desire for weird foods….are we sure Toni isn’t pregnant already?
MW: Wilbur has the strange sensation of a) actually recognizing an uncomfortable situation and b) not being the direct cause of it.
Pluggers have never heard of erasers. Or comma splices.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I dunno, Jeffy is quite dull and sheltered but if he were a normal 7yo? My 7yo and 9yo get into some pretty violent vocabulary territory when playing dragon gladiator fights, lightsabers vs blasters and so on – they narrate it because they can’t *actually* slice a toy (or each other!) in two. Yet.
Plugger Math: Do I have this right? You need 4 envelopes because you make mistakes on 2. You are not allowed to send the letter in the third envelope because you must correct each mistake before you’re done, wasting a fourth empty envelope.
Lush forests? Huh, so they sent the soldiers of Camp Swampy to invade Canada. That would explain why we’re not a state yet.
***
The joke’s on Hi as he goes on to dream about balls, light beer, boner pills, and whatever else they probably advertise in golf magazines.
I like to think the two portraits of Pop(s) speak to Gil. One tells him folksy aphorisms of fishing, young love, young fishing, and where to buy the world’s worst hats. The other speaks of bourbon, fried chicken, and why Northern Aggression started the war
“Some say he never really left. They talk, in hushed tones, about the old storage room, the one they kept musty gym mats in, which was bricked up and sealed off just after Pops vanished. Sure, Coach Thorp talked about asbestos and MRSA virus as he slapped thick coats of mortar on the bricks, but there are students – usually on detention, so hardly reliable sources – that say if you walk past that wall late, after the hubbub of the students has passed, you can hear a high, lonely voice calling ‘Run the Wing-T, boys. Run the Wing-T.’ But it’s probably just the wind.”
The Keane Kids hate-watching Carmen is a remarkably specific reference. Have we underestimated them? Do they do snarky, MST3000-inspired commentary on Great Performances every week?
Seems unlikely but dang, I’d watch that!
FC: Classical music snob Billy tells Jeffy; “One screaming Italian at a time.”
The art in Gil Thorp has gotten weird. Is that Gil standing next to Pops or one of the Easter Island Moai? And why does he have a black pocket square embroidered on his windbreaker?
BB: In such a case, Zero’s parents are odds-on favorites to get the note which begins We regret to inform….
I don’t know when exactly the art in Gil Thorp changed to this janky angular style, but I do know that this strip marks the point where the artist completely gave up.
THE FAMILY CIRCUS: Opera is too silly for children…
@ValdVin: “We regret . . . no, too strong . . . We are sorry . . . no, too dishonest . . . We have a duty to inform . . . too formal . . . We’re happy to tell you that you can free up that spare bedroom . . . nailed it.”
DT: As an insurance scam it seems overly complex – but how much are they going for? Maybe the payoff is worth it? Several million? Uncle has to get a good position, work there with a clean background, get insured, and then fake his death using a homeless guy whose dental work has been made to look his? Walter Neff and Phyllis Dietrichson – uncle and auntie are not. Barton Keyes would break this down in few days.
GT: usually the artwork in nationally syndicated strips meets a certain immediate eye test. On first glance one may not love the style but it is definitely consistent with what is considered a professional standard. Characters are consistent day to day and distinct. GT recently has slipped down to high school and college newspaper comic level – please forgive me, the truly capable creators starting out in high school and college.
MW: As much as complaining about the strip is fun, have to give credit to the creators. They know that Wacky Adventures of Wilbur Weston is a major draw. Once again, we have an example of the Worldly Weston Wisdom at work, thinking karaoke can somehow fix things. The cattlemen and ranchers should protest – this is two arcs now where the villain is a steak lover. Nice people also like a good juicy thick slab of beef.
GT: Ah, I’ve finally figured out what’s going on. Gil’s dead and what we’re seeing is a slide show being presented by Marty Moon, who’s delivering his eulogy. Coach Gerads has been warned against heckling.
MW: At karaoke, Dawn tells the audience, “For my first selection, I’d like to sing ‘The Bitch Is Back.’ ” Things escalate from there.
RMMD: Hey, you two, being honest and telling the truth isn’t working out. Better come up with something better, like a mysterious one-armed man or something.
Phantom: Ah, a roaring fire on the beach with two hot bikini babes. Yeah, just another ordinary moment.
JP: “Everyone keeps moving farther away. They’re telling us something, aren’t they, Sam?”
CS: (Please note that the following is not a political statement but merely an observation on similar personalities.) This moron makes Donald Trump look well adjusted.
TFC: Billy is lying on the floor so he can hide his arousal from watching a man stab a woman to death. Jeffy is pressed against the screen, studying the scene closely. Now we just have to wonder if he is coming for Dolly or Thel!
H&L: Lois has every right to be disgusted. We all see where Hi has his left hand. He’s pleasuring himself to the golf magazine–there’s probably more pics of Rory and Scottie Schefler than Paula Creamer in there–and can’t even bother to get out of bed to shave. That’ more than a one day growth people.
Hi and Lois – “I have to bore myself to sleep somehow. The color scheme of our bedding is so loud, it keeps me up half the night.”
If I had to guess which strip’s lesson would be “Cops are bastards, and you absolutely should never, ever speak to one without a lawyer present,” I would not have chosen Rex Morgan.
@Rosstifer: If you search for the artist’s name, you can see that she is capable of doing very good work. Why doesn’t she do this for Gil Thorpe? The question answers itself.
@Victor Von: I’ve been referring to it (to myself, as people start avoiding me when I talk out loud about newspaper comics in person) as “Neo-Yellow Submarine” due to the distressingly elongated bodies. This entire era may turn out to be a weird trip.
Pluggers: Gee, if only there was some way Chicken Woman could remove her errant pencil strokes and replace them with the correct markings.
@Peanut Gallery:
GT – “Some say” is very useful when you want to blatantly lie, but with a fig leaf of plausible deniability! “Some say” Gil Thorp is a great comic strip!
RMMD: “Well, officer, some say there was a mysterious one-armed man around here last night.”
9CL: A 60 year old virgin. Sex before marriage. Sex with a teen. Inane banter (“nice save” because he threw away his bucket list?). It’s a mashup of sexual fantasy and dementia.
FC: Wait, when did Mary Worth become an operetta?
GT: “More recently, Pops haunts the new GoComics site, where he subverts re-registration from critical readers of Gil and of Henry Barajas, his beloved pen pal. He specializes in delaying password change codes for up to twelve hours. Rumors have it that Pope is also loose in the Social Security website.”
GT, Meta: “….all I know is,….. HE’S CALLED THE STIG!“
FC: Billy stands center stage holding a bloody knife in front of a shocked audience at Dolly’s recital . “Wha…!?”
Yes, Pops… no one knew his name… he just showed up one day, wandered onto the school grounds and started yelling at kids… we all figured he’d get tired and wander away, but he never left, so we built this stadium around him and started a sports program. That was how it worked back then. Didn’t matter which sport it was, Pops would yell and draw something on a blackboard… usually scribbles and penises… and the kids would go run a play in whatever direction the penis was pointing… sometimes it was just spirals and they’d run around in smaller and smaller circles until they stopped and were tackled. Pops was always there. Sometimes he’d chase the players and bite at the referees… that old scamp. Ah, Pops… anyway, then we got Gil and well, you’ve been reading the strip now for years, so you know how boring the world is now… now when people wander into the schools, it’s lockdowns and calling the police…
Jeffy: “Meh, Carmen again? I think we can get Berg’s Lulu on Criterion—now that’s some stabbin’!”
@Needless Exposition: H&L: I think it would have been less annoying for Lois if Hi just read a Playboy.
Nah, that would get him horny, and Lois does not want to deal with that!
The art in Gil Thorp pretty much causes me pain and I kinda wish I could selectively block portions of your posts to stop seeing it. I thought Mark Trail had gone downhill when it changed it’s artist and that was the apex of decline but it’s like the owners of Gil Thorp saw that and went ‘Here, hold my beer’.
RMMD: so does this nitwit cop think Augie caused Stalker’s fatal heart attack?
MW – Let’s remember that first thing in the morning, Wilbur asked his daughter out for dinner and Karaoke.
RexMD: The poor cop is probably thinking to himself, “How much longer til the end of my shift…?”
Beetle Bailey: Would the Camp Swampy soldiers be required to give their real names, or their goofy nicknames like “Zero” or “Sarge”?
Gil Thorp: I’m glad to see that the radical art style change this comic went through has done nothing to impede it’s “channel hopping on heroin” storytelling where it jumps to a random plotline every other day.
Family Circus: Borrowing a page from the Soviet Union’s playbook, the Keane Kompound does occassionally allow outside media on the premises, but only carefully selected media that they feel shows the decadent horrors of the outside world, in order to brainwash their children into never leaving.
@richardf8: Does God love us enough for Wilbur and Dawn to duet on Afternoon Delight?
@TheDiva: I know we’re “supposed” to read Crankshaft as a wacky sitcom type of thing, but this current “plot” comes off much more as “Bean’s End is a grifting operation scamming seniors out of what little money they have”. Fun!
@Bob Tice: #3
…I…I *could* say something about a “hole in one” but that seems inappropriate for this strip…
Gil Thorp has been so much harder to read since they switched to anamorphic lenses.
Now I kind of want to see Keane Kommetary on the ending of Madame Butterfly. “She stabbed herself to stop singing.” and then something stupid about the Star Spangled Banner motif when Pinkerton makes his belated return.
Crankshaft: “Well, come in for dinner. It’s a bowl of oatmeal, since you spent our monthly budget on all this crap.”
Curtis Meanwhile, the Wilkins family is dining on cold tomato and cheese sandwiches, as Dad’s DMV paycheck only covers meat twice a month.
MW: Oh, Wilbur, you idiot…karaoke certainly lightened the mood between you and Estelle that one time, didn’t it…
Anyway, we cannot wait to see what lineup of hate songs will be belted out between Dawn and Belle…
FC: That look on Jeffy’s face is telling. He’s knows now his mission is clear, his weapon chosen by others. That smug, smug Dolly has sung her last. “‘Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with the light from a bulb’ my ass.”
GT. “It was a sad day when Pops passed, but at least we have this framed photo…and lifesized cardboard cutouts of him and Gil standing by the track.”
@Dmsilev:
I know we’re “supposed” to read Crankshaft as a wacky sitcom type of thing, but this current “plot” comes off much more as “Bean’s End is a grifting operation scamming seniors out of what little money they have”. Fun!
“And guess what, Pam — Bean’s End now accepts iTunes gift cards!”
@Voshkod: #49
Bravissimo!
@Cleveland Mocks: #58
Hmmm…well, Crankshaft *does* wear a red hat…
Gil Thorp: “Pops was the heart and soul of Milford — until one day he got sick of Coach Thorp’s whole deal, because who wouldn’t? That’s when he moved to Riverdale and opened up his Chock’lit Shoppe. And the teenagers there were a whole ‘nother story. They didn’t care about sports — it was all, “Should I date Veronica, or Betty?” And also, “Should I date Archie, or Reggie?” Poor ol’ Pops couldn’t handle it — he developed a five-milkshake-per-day habit, getting sweet on his own supply. It was a sad day when he passed, but, well, not exactly unexpected, if you know what I mean!”
GT: Sadly, the artwork has recently improved when readers complained that they couldn’t recognize the characters from panel to panel.
@Little Blue Bicycle: #68
“Rumors have it that Pope is also loose in the Social Security website”
=:0 His Holiness has hacked into our Social Security database????? No wonder the Vatican Treasury’s deposits have increased a thousand-fold overnight…
FC: A few years ago, PBS ran short films to fill time between programs.
One was a summary of the plots of several operas.
It was narrated by a woman who matter-of-factly told the plot with its actions portrayed by cutout figures and simple animation.
For someone not exposed to opera, the violent stories came as a shock.
At the end of each story, they would list the crimes committed in the opera followed by a little bell.
“Murder” ding!
“Sexual Assault” ding!
“War Crimes” ding!
And for multiple crimes, it was dingdingdingding!
Who says TV can’t be educational!
GT: “If Pops ever had a last name, no one knew it. He slept in the school sportsball office, and ate by going through the cafeteria dumpster.”
Re GT – I agree with the other commenters that the new artwork style is really jarring and, for me at least, unpleasant to look at. It’s a shame, because I really enjoyed the former rendition a lot. Same with Mark Trail. I stopped reading it a long time ago because the art and the narratives were just too unnerving. On the other hand, the new “Flash Gordon” is awesome, even though I loved Jim Keefe’s renderings when he was the artist.
@UncleJeff:
“And don’t forget, it was their gold!“
GT: I recall learning, when drawing the human figure, that the entirety body should be seven heads high. From my estimate, in panel 1 Gil’s body from hair to knees is six heads high. Artistic choices have certainly been made. I don’t agree with them, but they have been made.
MW: I will gladly click on all the banner ads on the site, twice, if they have the bravery of actually following through with this plot and killing off Dawn. And I mean permanently, not a dream or something. Mary’s killed before, there is precedent.
Crankshaft – Everyone hopes that he’s dead by then.
Mary Worth – Yes, karaoke. Never forget that Wilbur is an advice columnist who gives people guidance with their problems.
I honestly can’t decide which is worse – Wilbur’s shallow dumbassery or Mary’s inane platitudes.
Pluggers – Even after she doesn’t make a mistake no one can read that chicken scratch writing.
9CL – Either he’s a senior citizen virgin or he’s always boinked without any affection for his boinkee. In any case, a normal parent would be alarmed by Polly’s apparent sex addiction and help her get therapy.
Time for this again: get help, Brooke.
Phantom: Kit will always remember Kadia, sitting in the fire, burning to death.
@Daisy:
Hmmm…well, Crankshaft *does* wear a red hat…
Ha haaa, excellent!
But I should have written, “kinda sorta almost well adjusted.”
@Daisy:
Yes, sadly, Mark Trail is unreadable now. I can’t stand to look at it. Gil is only slightly better.
So now Speed Racer is coaching Milford?
Dustin: That second panel really shows what the creators think of women, doesn’t it?
Phantom: So, how many times a week has it been necessary for Wheezey to rescue Kadia from self-immolation? She doesn’t care if her brother boinks Kadia or not, she’s exhausted and just wants someone else to take over the childcare.
Gil Thorp: Oh my God, are they really doing a Phantom-esque “For those who came in late…” flashback story? I only see this strip when it turns up here. The creative changeovers in the strip at least ensure it won’t fall into the no-one-ever-says-a-complete-sentence pattern of Lee Falk’s later years: “For those who came in late…losing teams…old coach…passing the torch…new coach…still losing…divorce…”
Hi is hoping for a hole in one….you know…..sexually.
@Daisy: LOL. I ask for forgiveness.
@Old Man Shadow:#71. Thanks for this one!
@ValdVin: They already sang that “We Can Be Heroes” song to confirm that they’re deluded as hell and hinting at those incestuous undertones that are now like a billboard. No wonder Batshit Belfrey wants to kill Dawn; she acts more like a mom-wife than a daughter.
@Daisy: Personally I hope Belle says something offensive about karaoke in the most passive aggressive way possible so that Dawn is offended but Wilbur is too stupid because he’s thinking with his tiny limp noodle…and his genitals aren’t too smart, either.
@GarrisonSkunk: Good luck with trying to get that with Lois, Hi. Your left hand is more of a guarantee.
@UncleJeff: I remember that one! And here it is.
I have finally managed to log into the new GoComics! Wow, it’s terrible!
I particularly love how, as a non-paid subscriber, they not only don’t give me the all-my-favourites-on-one-page view, they’ve made it less convenient compared to the old version! And also dropped Andy Capp from the list, because who cares? Honestly surprised that the banner encouraging me to give them money doesn’t start “Dear freeloading scum…”
I’m heading to Edinburgh next week; I’ll consider how I want to deal with this when I get back. I may just stop using the site.
DT: Today in “this story is just an endless fractal of things that don’t make sense, and when you look at them closer, it reveals more things that don’t make sense” we’re told that, if you’ve faked your own death, it’d look really suspicious if your supposed widow didn’t make it clear that her number one priority was claiming your life insurance! I realise the Piltdowns know that their main purpose in Horace faking his death isn’t insurance fraud but … something else, and we’ll doubtless learn how little sense that makes when Costello gets round to telling us what it is … but the cops don’t! From the cops’ perspective, the most likely reason to fake your death is probably for the insurance!
EC: Honestly, if I were Len I’d be less embarassed by “I had to bribe my son to make him go to baseball practice” than “I tried to threaten my son to make him go to baseball practice” which he freely admits to Coach Wally. Then again, if I were Len, I think I’d be sufficiently embarassed by “I refused to accept my son didn’t want to go to baseball practice” that anything else would just be a matter of degree.
GT: Sometimes I wonder if it’s really fair for me, a person who can barely draw, to criticise comic strip artists. Mostly, I resolve this by reminding myself they get paid for it, and I don’t. Today, however, I’m reminding myself that I can at least draw a square picture frame at an angle so the perpective works, good grief, Merrill!
JP: Hahahahahahahaha! A Judge Parker character is complaining about how fast everything’s moving!
MW: Yes, Wilbur, if there’s one thing you’ve learned in your life, it’s that when there’s tension between two people, karaoke always fixes everything!
Phantom: Sigh. Here we go. Remember the teashop girl, Kit! Failing that, remember that everything that brought you to this point was actually evidence that your sister is completely insane!
I genuinely think it’d be kind of neat if Kadia was all “Um, I’m not interested in you that way, what with you being a guy.” Partly because Weezie’s head would explode, but also because I like The Phantom sufficiently that it kind of bugs me it’s one of the last two soap strips still quietly pretending LGBTQ people don’t exist. (The other is Mary Worth, of course, but I don’t expect any better there.)
@Peanut Gallery:
#113. That summary of operas was both biting and wonderful. Thanks! It’s also a good reminder that followingthe decline of the stock market, gold may NOT be a safer investment.
@Peanut Gallery: Very funny. Thanks for the link!
@UncleJeff: #94
I just watched that cute video! My goodness – for the highest art form of Western civilization, opera should be R rated. Now, whenever I watch grand opera from the Met or Chicago’s Lyric, I’ll be tracking the mayhem. I have the DVD of Turandot at home – that should have a high body count. :-)
@Peanut Gallery: #113
Thanks for the link – I just watched it – fun!
@Little Blue Bicycle: #109
You are forgiven, my child!
@I speak Jive: #100
“I honestly can’t decide which is worse – Wilbur’s shallow dumbassery or Mary’s inane platitudes.”
There is a kind of symbiosis between the two…without Wilbur’s dumbassery there would be no need for Mary’s platitudes. Nor would there be any need to read “Mary Worth.”
FC-“He stabbed her because he wants Dawn Weston for himself.”
Beetle Bailey-“With the way we are treated in this army we’ll give our complete loyalty to the other side.”
A&J: I have to take the same medication that their cat is getting, and it is quite bitter. A friend once told me that her cat got it in liquid form, which the vet was able to prepare with chicken flavor. I asked my pharmacist if that was an option for me, but she said no.
Phantom: Kit’s got the wood and Kadia’s got the burning crotch.
@Paul Balze: On Gil Thorp: You forgot: Hot bartender … Heart attack … Non binary son … Daughter with eating disorder.
Gil Thorp-Some say that Pops soul is forever trapped in a picture and is unable to pass on until the curse that only he knows is broken.
@Tom T.: You need a better pharmacist. Seriously. My veterinarian sister-in-law regularly has her pets’ medicines filled at the local grocery store pharmacy (it is much cheaper that way), and anything that she can order compounded (including flavoring) there is most likely a human-grade equivalent.
It is like the “Purina Lion Chow” scene in the movie Second Hand Lions — you’d be surprised what you can special order through the local Kroger shop.
@Activist: #115. MANDRAKE:. Also a cording to this arc, gold may NOT be a safe investment.
OK but what if this Family Circus is actually unironically funny
I think it’s very classy that Pops’s funerary portrait has a black mourning hatband.
Presumably it’s one of those post-mortem portraits like in Victorian times.
FC: What channel are Billy and Jeffy even watching opera on. Bravo might have aired a few a zillion years ago, before they discovered that reality shows about narcissists are cheaper.
GT: Some swear that they’ve seen his shiny glasses and crushed fedora late at night as he prowls the baseball diamond for warm blood.
H&L: Lois’s sour look is because she knows that even if Hi isn’t bringing a phone to bed so he can listen to golf ASMR videos yet, the road he’s traveling inexorably leads there.
@TheDiva: I was going to attempt a snark about that out-of-place headgear, but you said it perfectly.
C-Shaft: A Charlie Brown Christmas proved that an undergrown tree could be the basis of a touching, profound, and funny story. What’s the relevance here? Absolutely none.
DT: “The Quivering Jellies of Microcephaly” is one of those lost Doctor Who serials from the 60s, isn’t it?
Dustin: Chalk one up for honesty being the best policy, I guess.
HtH: Gotta hand it to the suddenly namedropping Lucky Eddie, he’s definitely picked a mermaid whose mammalian half is all there this time out. Of course courting a beautiful naked woman who needs a magic spell to get legs and Some Other Stuff is still an extra step.
Luann: “Something to make our tummies happy”? Some couples who want to be parents are way too eager to use baby talk.
MW: Belle wants to kill Dawn but it’s Wilbur whose epitaph is going to consist of those six dreadful words, “Maybe karaoke will lighten the mood.”
Beetle Bailey: So we now know Sarge’s abusive behavior isn’t simple rage. He’s engaging in his own form of SERE training, so his men will be able to return with honor after their inevitable torture.
@TheDiva: Re LUANN, I’ll give you credit if that’s true. I briefly wondered the same, along with wondering if the poor baby might inherit Bwad’s piggy nose.
Anyone have Michael Hurley in their dead pool?
@richardf8: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Have Moicy! (1976) is the GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE.
@Ukulele Ike:
It takes a village (of idiots in a vigilante/warlord dynasty).
RE FC
The stabbed woman is uncharacteristically beautifully rendered, however the stabber more resembles the standard FC Billy attitude. The wall decoration looks like angry rays , maybe from the Stabber’s (Billy’s) head.
The caption is good.