I read the comics to protect you from terrible truths
Post Content
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/8/25
Way back in the mists of time when I first started this blog, it was called I Read The Comics So You Don’t Have To, and I still thinking of myself as fulfilling that mission, especially when it comes to letting you know when something exciting or important has happened in the soap opera strips. However, this goal runs into a philosophical conundrum with Rex Morgan, M.D., the strip where nothing exciting or important ever happens: sometimes it seems like something’s going to happen, but if I tell you about it, that’s leading you astray, because in fact nothing’s going to happen, so instead I usually wait to update you until it becomes clear that nothing is going to happen. Take this past week, for instance: after Augie did the responsible thing and reported the dead stalker to the police, the beat cop who showed up decided that Augie was actually the most likely murder suspect and started asking a bunch of probing questions. Was something exciting, like Augie’s arrest on false (or possibly true) accusations, going to happen? I sure didn’t tell you about it, because I didn’t want to toy with your emotions unnecessarily. But now it’s safe to discuss because a homicide detective has arrived and decided that the stalker simply drank three bottles of hooch then smoked crack and shot heroin simultaneously before eventually succumbing to his many vices. Problem solved! Nothing’s going to happen! Enjoy today’s strip and then go about your business.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/8/25
I actually spent a lot of time getting furious at this strip because everyone knows that in the comics, poodles are sexy French ladies, not old people, so what is this even about??? After some thought I think he’s riffing on “dumb blonde” stereotypes rather than old people stereotypes, but it doesn’t really work because (a) lots of people say “senior moment” but nobody says “blonde moment” and (b) poodles (in cartoons, anyway) are white while Grimm himself is blonde, or at least yellow.
Hi and Lois, 4/8/25
“Hey Josh,” you’re probably asking, “I know that in this current run of Hi and Lois, the Flagstons are beset by depression and anxiety, but is that true for everyone else too?” Yeah man, it is. They’re all burdened by awful knowledge they can do nothing about!
150 replies to “I read the comics to protect you from terrible truths”
RMMD:
“Let’s talk about a far more important question, Detective. If the dating service Ms. Knight used actually allowed someone with Mr. Telko’s profile and rap sheet to be listed as an available suitor for her, is she entitled to a refund?”
MW:
Tariffs, shmariffs. The reason for the cataclysmic upheaval in the financial markets these days is that Belle has been absent from her all-important job at publicly-traded Metacorp. for days now.
RMMD:
“Why are you wearing a coat, anyway, Detective? I’m not. Ms. Knight isn’t. Mr. Shuster isn’t. The EMTs aren’t.”
“You silly Officer, you! — I’m a stylized detective. And a stylized detective always wears a coat, with the collar up, to create the inference that he’s too busy and hard-working to be able to attend to something as trifling as putting his collar in the right position or, for that matter, to even figure out whether he needs a coat in the first place!”
RMMD: Cop: “What’s the status of our mystery man?”
Detective: “He’s dead, Jim.”
H&L: Do Abercrombie & Fitch, as an independent refuse collection concern, have a contract that allows them to use the city dump, or are they the garbage world’s equivalent of squatters?
H&L-Abercrombie has clearly read Motel of the Mysteries.
I can’t believe I’m saying this about a strip in which a man appears to be smoking a corncob pipe through his nose, but TOO REAL, HI & LOIS.
RMMD: This strip is about a doctor who has access to needles, pills, various types of drugs, and so on, and has very little patience or respect for other people. I’m just saying, if this strip turns into Rex Morgan, Medical Vigilante, ridding the world of crime/nuisance/roots country music one suspicious OD at a time, I won’t complain.
H&L: Guys? Your truck says ‘Recycle’ on the side. Do you just… not actually do that? Do you take people’s plastic, bury it in a poor neighborhood, and pocket the federal subsidies?
H&L: Thirsty’s doppelgänger garbage truck driver takes his partner’s doomsday musings with a grain of salt and a puff of a joint.
I hate to nitpick (no I do not) but people do say “blonde moment.” Honestly I forgot that people say “senior moment!” Having a bit of a Persian moment there myself (for the purposes of this comment I am an anthropomorphic cat).
Today’s Crankshaft
ha ha it’s funny because Lena’s baking is absolute ass
Dennis the Menace: Margaret should look miffed at Dennis’ witty remark, instead she looks mildly thoughtful. “Hm, does my mother let me watch horror movies? I hear there’s a new ‘Hellraiser’ movie.”
RMMD – To Protect & Serve…donuts….
MG&G – Even I know – to shit in the middle of that bed spread….
H&L – So…Thursty has a twin – Smelly….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD: I’ve never been completely clear on how the Rex Morgan universe ‘works’, exactly, but I’m intrigued by the idea that when you call 911 in this world, they send a fatter, sadder version of yourself to investigate the crime.
MGG: Ha, it’s funny because Grimm is not just getting forgetful, he’s losing his mind and is just spouting nonsense! Poodle moment! Toaster ambiance! Helicopter fertility! What are words, even?
H&L: I like how Fitch(?) just stares grimly ahead, knowing full well that there will be no future civilizations in a thousand years. Not at the current rate, anyhow…
Hi and Lois – “Refuse and Recycle,” the confusing new slogan for Earth Day 2025. “What exactly are you young people refusing?” “Whadda you got?”
RMMD: Rex arrives at the scene and after pushing away empty booze bottles and wiping pills and capsules off McStalkie’s clothes he takes a photo of Summer out of the breast pocket of his sports jacket. “This man died of a broken heart.” He announces, tearfully.
RMMD: The only thing duller than a date with Summer is this arc about a date with Summer.
GT: ANOTHER i-ending name?? (my favorite rant) I honestly can’t dredge up one person I’ve known with an i-ending name – and I’m no chicken.
MW: Wilbur, you adorable naif! You actually think that Belle will be leaving without a court order.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Monin is an expert judge of people!”
“Don’t you think that’s an unconscionable misapplication of the word ‘expert’?”
“No… Watch this! I let go of his leash for one second…”
“And he instantly gets himself adopted by a better owner!”
I will accept a lot of unrealism in Mary Worth, but I have my limits. You’re expecting me to believe that Wilbur realized that Dawn was unhappy just because she made a passive-aggressive remark and is looking daggers at the front seat? He’s way denser than that!
H+L: Has Thirsty always been co-workers with a cartoon hillbilly who wandered in from Snuffy Smith? Is this a newspaper comic crossover I’m not getting or has this dude always been around but just not featured on this site?
@MKay, GT: What about….. Naomi?
Chix (sic): Say what you will about the Tuesday chick. It’s a safe bet we’ll never see a golf joke.
MG&G: Poodles are depicted as sexpots in comics. Grimm is not having memory problems here, he’s upset that he can’t control his sex addiction. Mother Goose had better wash her throw pillows.
H&L: The town dump would have filled up decades ago if A&F hadn’t recycled Thirsty’s beer cans and liquor bottles.
CS: It turns out you can attract skilled workers by offering more money, a better working environment, better snacks, and less exposure to incompetent assholes. Take note, corporate America.
MW: I love Wilbur’s complete obliviousness. Dawn’s feeling insulted. Belle looks like she just took bath salts, and is about to eat Wilbur’s face. And the only thought in Wilbur’s head is “I’m getting laid tonight!”
MW:
“Congrats”, Dawn.
You are the Libby to Belle’s Wilbur.
We all know how that fight went…
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
“What’s the status of our mystery man?”
“He’s still dead.”
“It’s too bad there’s not a doctor or RN around who could confirm that.”
“Yup, too bad.”
[They nod at one another]
@Little Guy: How about . . . Scratchi?
MW: Will we get to see them set up sleeping arrangements? Dawn offers to sleep on the sofa so Belle can have her room, but Belle doesn’t want to inconvenience her, heh heh. Or will tomorrow just be “the next morning” ?
Hi and Lois: THE CULT OF SUNBEAM WILL HAVE ITS AWFUL REVENGE ON THIS IDOLATROUS SOCIETY
By Dawn or by Belle?
In a perfect ouroboros of logic, Mother Goose and Grimm has forgotten that the original joke with Grimm would be that he came into the room to pee.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: @Banana Jr. 6000: It looks like the roadie has already begun, Dawn or no Dawn, and now I have to go scrub myself with molten boron. Terrible truths, indeed!
@Veronica: It’s not Thirsty, they’re just drawn to the same model. Abercrombie and Fitch (yeah, I know) have always been the garbage men.
They have never been funny.
Luann: So now the young adult protagonist is proclaiming via pollination-imagery and doggerel her “perfect fit” love … to a 93-year-old lady. Take me back to the “Can Brad and Toni figure out Tab A into Slot B?” baby-making plot, please
@pugfuggly: “fatter sadder version of you” whose buzzcut makes him look remarkably like Sarah’s friend (who I can’t remember his name at the moment)
“My dog will solve the mystery for us!”
@pachoo yesterday149:
Wilful murder of characters.
@Hibbleton:
Or any other kind of joke.
H&L — And a thousand years from now, linguists will think that “trash” was spelled with a Z
MW: Jeez, just look at that. Don’t tell me Belle’s not giving him a handie right there while he’s driving.
Dustin: Dustin faithfully deposits $5 into his savings account every month to cover the $5 monthly service fee. His average monthly disposable balance hovers around $1.32.
GT: “I want to thank you, Coach Cami, for being there for Keri. I know that slut Beth is too busy slinging booze every night to care about her.”
JP: “Hand me the phone. I can’t reach it way over there next to my keyboard.”
So what I’m hearing is that instead of a dud like Augie, Summer missed her chance of ending up with a fun party boy who really knows how to have a good time and found the one way to escape the hell of living in a society with nothing but roots country and neo-vaudeville to entertain you.
***
That’s very philosophical and well spoken for a man who wears a hat that says “TRASH” with a backwards S on it, but maybe someone who smokes on the job should be a little less judgy of others.
Hi and Lois-And archeologists will find all the bodies who’ve buried over the years.
MW-Dawn’s upset because she’s not up front handling the stick shift.
FC-“This little piggy would tell everyone that it doesn’t eat glutens.”
Hi and Lois – “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” says Abercrombie. “Listen, you got any PVC pellets? I wanna make an offering at the shrine of the Goddess Polymera for good luck with my March Madness bracket.”
RMMD -if they are going to call him the mystery man and not have this be the dullest Phantom crossover in history, I for one will be most put out. The Ghost Who Stalks.
@Peanut Gallery: Oh yeah, it’s April already. Well, he can wish for time travel, can’t he? This is a goddess we’re talking about!
Phantom: I’m confused. Is Heloise texting the monks? Is she dishing to them on Zoom? What the zen is going on?
CS: Lena interrupts. “Actually, Ed, we all know what the real reason is, don’t we, you ignorant, overbearing, contemptible asshole?”
MW: Has anyone in the history of bucket front seats ever sat like that in their car??
“What did I come into this room for? Oh, right, to have a ‘puddle’ moment.” Lifts leg.
Rex Morgan, MD – The homicide detective’s expression shows how disappointed he is that he never got the marks in the police academy that would have gotten him into the Neo-Chicago police department where the real villains are. In Neo-Chicago this stalker would have a name like Abraham Slinkin’ and an array of appropriate tools, instead of being an addict dead of his many vices.
Mother Goose & Grimm – A “poodle moment” is when a cartoonist has tied themselves down to a certain schtick that reliably produces a series of scenarios and puns, but faces a challenge when treading the same ground for decades eventually depletes the premise.
Hi and Lois – The garbageman who looks like Thirsty is tired of this crap. This isn’t an observation, his coworker is workshopping his material to create a cult of garbage. He even made himself a funny hat so he could be Pope of Trash. Sadly for him, Pope of Trash is a moniker for director John Waters, and no matter how unique you look, as a supporting character in Hi and Lois you can’t compete with Oscar the Grouch for being the figure most associated with garbage in pop culture.
Corpse guy is not so much an international man of mystery but more a county man of mystery or quite possibly a just these two or three blocks of this neighborhood man of mystery.
Crank: The pimply young bus driver with the almost-beard is a “Rocky?” But this strip already HAS a “Rocky,” the pretty ex-Army brunette who’s in a relationship with….somebody. Some other vet. Funky’s son? Anyway there was a hilarious misunderstanding several years ago when they thought their son was boning a guy. Because “Rocky” is usually a boy name. God, I love this strip.
Luann: Puttin’ on the doggerel. This is going to be a very long week.
9CL: Thorax the 1930s private eye and his “sassy sex moll”/prostitute. This is going to be a very very long week. (Someone should really get in touch with Brooke and remind him he doesn’t do this sort of thing very well at all)
@Cleveland Mocks: The story is trying to build tension with Heloise hanging with Kit in Bangalla cross-cutting to show that off in the Himalayas his warrior-monk mentor has been ominously summoned to discuss the policeman’s murder which was part of a prophecy that would end the Phantoms – a prophecy that appeared to be dodged because Kit wasn’t there to get embroiled in the aftermath but Fate appears to be swinging for a round 2
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Nobody doesn’t like Molten Boron!
Luann: Bernice being Bernice reminds Luann that in the emergency room “gloved” refers to the misfortune of losing in its entirety the skin of one or both hands.
“There’s no overt sign of foul play. Plenty of covert signs, though. The guy had six passports and a disguise kit. We arrested three Russians nearby who all had drug paraphernalia and pictures of our victim, as well as a small passel of Angolan diplomats carrying dossiers on our John Doe. There were at least sixteen drones hovering over the car when we got there, and we found eight pairs of discarded rubber gloves. Someone had cleaned the whole car, so no prints. Anyway, we’re gonna call it death by misadventure, which is what the CIA is telling us to say.”
@Ukulele Ike: “(Someone should really get in touch with Brooke and remind him he doesn’t do this sort of thing very well at all)”.
That sort of implies that there are things which Brooke does well. Um, what are those? Let’s limit the options to “things which don’t violate minimum age of consent laws”.
@Ukulele Ike: 9CL – Hellmaw/Attempted Detective Noir Plot Alert!
I guess the double wedding is just forgotten and we are moving on. Are Polly and Lolly married to the dweeb and the senior citizen now, or are we just completely abandoning the past several months of strips??
FC: Dear Jeff, next time you rerun this strip, try “This little piggy had ‘roast beets'” for the set up. You’re welcome.
In Rome there is an entire hill, Testaccio, that is made up of the broken pieces of vases that were used to transport goods from the sea to the capital. It is an amazing archeological site that gives insights into trade and production in the Roman empire, providing info that is lacking in the written sources. So I am glad that “Hi & Lois” appreciates how even the humble trash can be useful for archeologists, it is doing a much better educational work than “Hagar the Horrible!”
Archeology is how we know the Mesopotamians worshiped clay.
Dawn Isnt in the back seat, she was actually behind the car when Wilburp backed into her. She’s looking in from outside the back window, hanging on next to Willburp’s BABE ON BOARD sign.
MW – Is Belle giving Wilbur a handie while he’s driving? Here’s hoping they are fast approaching Kelrast Curve.
#TeamSweetFireballOfDeath
Rex Morgan, MD continues its war on copaganda: First, our protagonists go to the police for help, but the cops can’t even begin to care. Then, when they call in to report a dead body, a cop shows up and is much more interested in harassing the people who had the nerve to report it, and finally a detective shows up and decides investigating a possible crime would be too much work and calls it a day. While this may not work as “drama” it definitely scores points for “realism”.
Dude… you’re wearing a hat that says “Trash.” You knew what the job was when you took it: collecting refuse, lying about recycling plastic, laundering mob money, and occasionally making a corpse disappear.
Poodles are also *notoriously* smart dogs so what
LUANN – Just like the saying goes: “No glove, no love”.
@Dmsilev: World-class music concerts! Performed by nearly every character in the strip! With make-outs!
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: I’m hoping P/Lolly have reverted to toddlerhood, allowing Amos and Edda to be 20-somethings again. Enough of Edda parading her 45-year-old ass around in bikinis and skin-tight gowns. (Brooke let Juliette go gray, the least he could do for a grandmother of 20-year-old twins, but she’ll be parading around this week in a low-cut leotard and slit skirt.)
I think Hi and Lois has been farmed out to Swedish writers, who toil away in the dead of a long, depressing winter.
Six Chex And A Cat Named Peter Parker In Search Of A Punchline: It’s nice that that one spider is showing its friend it’s safe place! I hope they’ll be happy together.
H&L: I like to think the guy driving the truck is Chip in 25 years.
H&L: No, I’m pretty sure they’ll recognize it as a trash heap. They may, however, have a lot of interesting ideas about our religious beliefs.
“The cult of sister-goddesses Elsa and Anna, believed to represent the cycle of the seasons and the harvest, emerged from the matriarchal ‘Disnaiprinsis’ pantheon in the late Usaean empire….”
MG&G: “Poodle moment” is especially weird for a “brain lapse, but make it canine” metaphor because poodles are among the smartest breeds, ranking right next to border collies. Afghans are the idiots of the dog world, although golden retrievers tend to get (unjustly) stuck with the “dumb blonde” stereotype.
RMMD: On one hand, Rex Morgan has consistently portrayed the police as unhelpful if not counter-productive in this particular plot, a pretty daring move for a legacy strip. On the other, revealing Goatee McStalker as an all-purpose addict promotes the stereotype that violence against women is something only done by sleazy proletarians and not, say, powerful and wealthy C-suite types. Not that I expected better; I mean, this is Rex Morgan, load-bearing beam of the status quo we’re talking about.
@Batiuk’s Attic: I think Hi and Lois has been farmed out to Swedish writers,
______________________
“Low and Hi-less” is being written by The Swedish Chef?!? That explains so little! Bork Bork Bork!
Jay North, who played Dennis the Menace on TV from 1959 through 1963, died Sunday, aged 73.
Rex Morgan: I’m honestly starting to get fascinated with this dead stalker guy. Like, who the hell is this guy? Why did he become so monomaniacally obsessed with following Summer of all people around? Why in God’s name was he apparently doing massive amounts of drugs and drinking amid all this? Why did he just randomly die in front of Summer’s house? It’s insane.
Hi And Lois: Don’t you hate it when your coworker goes into nihilistic, misanthropic rants about mankind’s doomed future on the clock?
@Ukulele Ike: I clearly go to the wrong sort of world class classical music concerts. I’m reasonably confident that Yo Yo Ma has never once done an on-stage strip-tease.
@Dmsilev:
Does his 1985 appearance on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood count? Because that was pretty damn hot!
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box, Luann: For a moment, I had to check if we weren’t still in the “Bwad & Toni Want a Baby” storyline.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: LUANN – Just like the saying goes: “No glove, no love”.
_______________
“All You Need Is Glove”- J.Lennon, P.McCartney
9CL: *looks at strip for first time in months*
*looks away quickly, remembering how much happier I am not looking at this strip*
Dustin: Dustdad is so, so close to recognizing the massive wealth inequality that has put financial independence out of reach for his offspring…
Luann: “La Belle Dame Sans Merci” it ain’t.
MW: Okay, I think I’ve figured it out. Belle is an alien in (not very convincing) disguise, and Wilbur’s mayonnaise-based diet has cultivated the unique gut microbiome necessary to sustain her and/or incubate her eggs. This explains the weirdly hungry look she’s giving Wilbur, her impulse to eliminate any potentially competitive offspring, and most importantly why she picked Wilbur of all people in the first place.
Plugger physics are just regular physics, but lazy.
@Dmsilev: I’m reasonably confident that Yo Yo Ma has never once done an on-stage strip-tease.
______________________
That was Tommy Smothers as the Yoyo Man.
Six Chix – Is Popeye the Sailor Man in there?
@TheDiva: Golden Retrievers are also stereotyped as friendly and heroic.
Until that recent Mario Bros movie, which had a outright PSYCHOTIC Golden Retriever as a minor character.
@Dmsilev: Whenever I think of Yo Yo Ma these days, I think of his appearance on the PBS cartoon Arthur.
DW: Yo Mama is a much better musician than that Josh guy!
Arthur: It’s Yo Yo Ma! You don’t even know his name!
@Uncle Lumpy: Jay North, who played Dennis the Menace on TV from 1959 through 1963, died Sunday, aged 73
______________________________________________
Are you a Plugger if you get your celebrity death news via The Comics Commudgeon?
who the fuck is that guy in Hi & Lois?
@Uncle Lumpy: I did think of an actual example of a strip-tease during a legit serious classical performance: Karita Mattila did a version of Salome where she performed the Dance of the Seven Veils fully stripping down, not wearing a body suit or the other usual workarounds for staging that piece.
MW: Remember how Wilbur was patting himself on the back about how he’s such a good father for taking his daughter out to dinner after disregarding her bad relationship so that he could brag about how much sex he had while he was on vacation? Now he’s thinking about how he must be so lucky to have his batshit insane vacation ho and his daughter-wife, who is emotionally five years old, not so subtly fighting for his attention/affection.
That would definitely explain why he looks particularly punchable today.
MW: The manic expression on Belle’s goofy face leads me to conclude that she is either a parasite, a predator, or a psychopath.
RMMD: I’m actually kind of digging the First In, Last Out symmetry of the narrative in the last panel.
@Braxwell Brontë: The difference is that Libby is a lovable and endearing character whose only failure is that she didn’t give Mary Worth toxoplasmosis thanks to her beard being allergic to (pussy)cats but made up for it by pissing on Wilbur’s seat. Dawn is an emotionally stunted brat who likely wants to marry her dad.
@Dmsilev: I’ve been to Salome twice in NYC within the past 20 years. Both times the lead was sung by a young(ish), fit, attractive soprano; both times they got nekkid during the Dance of the Seven Veils. (I own the classic Birgit Nilsson/Solti/Vienna Phil recording. Birgit looks like the aunt you won’t let kiss you when you’re five. I hope she kept her clothes on) I understand that some performances with older, fatter Salomes bring in a professional dancer as a ringer for the scene.
In 1905 operagoers were disgusted and horrified by the title character soul-kissing the dead head of John the Baptist. In our degenerate times, that head nearly always ends up between Salome’s thighs. I bet it’s Brooke’s favorite opera.
Professor, I’m writing to you from the Sullivan site. it is everything we hoped, I feel it will finally unlock the secrets of early 21st century society. Oh Professor, it is astonishing, it seems that these people actually worshipped plastic! I believe that, as an act of devotion to their hydorcarbonic gods, they heaped great mounds of broken plastic a few miles away and downwind of, their cities. I do not wish to get ahead of myself, Professor, but I believe this discovery will secure our place as the greatest archeologists since the mysterious events that made the people of our future time incredibly stupid.
@TheDiva: @Daisy: Belle is a visitor from the same world as the alien in Under the Skin (2013), sent here to lure in and harvest male earthlings for meat. That planet is fresh outta Scarlett Johanssons and they’re kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel now.
MG&G: The thing that really bugs me about this is that poodles are a famously intelligent breed. Grimm is a bull terrier, also a smart breed of dog. Maybe this joke is meant to be like the rivalry between, say, biologists and physicists, where both are smart but make jokes about the other being dumb. But Grimm is obviously very stupid, and I don’t think the strip is subtle enough for that to be the gag.
@Dmsilev: There was also Charlotte Moorman, known as the “topless cellist” in spite of her many other achievements. However she didn’t strip while playing.
@Ukulele Ike: I’m actually a bit surprised (and relieved) that Brooke hasn’t tried to mine opera for his plot lines. Comic opera is filled with mistaken-identity boinking and similar. Femmes fatale play right into his sexpot-dominates-thralls obsessions; Carmen is basically a Berberesque as realized by librettist and composer and so forth with actual artistic talent.
Maybe he just doesn’t want to bother drawing more than a handful of people in any given strip?
According to what I’m sure is a highly rigorous, peer-reviewed article, the #1 dumbest dog is the Afghan Hound. But for the sake of comedy, chow-chow (#4) would be funnier. Either, of course, would top MG&G’s approach.
@ectojazzmage: RMMD: I wonder about him too. Is he a full-time stalker? Were his interests limited to simply being irritating or was there something deeper and more dangerous involved? Where did a scrawny little chap like him get the impression he was tough? Is he related to Rene Belluso? Will Rex perform the autopsy?
Today’s music selection inspired by Hi & Lois.
@Ukulele Ike: That would truly be amazing. Greatly underrated film.
@Dennis Jimenez: RMMD – To Protect & Serve…donuts….
_________________
“We have a report of a missing donut at Dewey, Cheated and Cudlick! Car 69 where are you?”
DT: Upset aunt has to cool down. It will take a while to establish identity and for the insurance company to accept proof; still not clear as to what she and Uncle are hoping to clear, $2 million ? When James Cain wrote Double Indemnity, the policy was for $50,000 – double to $100,000 in 1943 dollars which is just shy of $2 million today. So, does Uncle work for the insurance company like Walter Neff?
Is the name of the insurance company Vesuvius a play on words. Mt. Etna is a volcano and a homonym for Aetna insurance?
RMMD: Nice to see the patrolman is consistent. First assume Augie is the perp, then assume an OD, why bother wait for a full investigation, coroner’s report, etc. Who knows if they ever bother pulling the guy out of the car, he might have a knife or bullet wound in his back.
MW: Wilbur is, of course, oblivious but that is why he is such a great character and give credit to the writer/creator for responding to the audience. He is a character we can’t help but want to see what happens next. With Dawn’s recent arc, we’ve been largely spared MW for weeks!
GT: The artist is clearly capable to better work, so why the current level? Could it be a pressure of time – and these are the pencil roughs that are then inked, and colored. That could explain the blocky shapes, faces and flat like of depth and perspective.
@Dmsilev: Brooke did A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Pibgorn once. Used all his Pib and 9CL characters to fill the parts. He was younger back then and his pencil-holding hand was steadier. As for femmes fatale, I bet he’s just itching to dramatize Venus in Furs in comics form.
@treetown: I’d never heard of the movie until it was referenced in Dustin a couple years back, and Josh waxed enthusiastic over it. I agree, it’s the cat’s pyjamas.
AGING:
PLUGGERS:. Aging awkwardly, of course.
LUANN:. Aging gracefully at 93.
Happy AGING ADVENTUROUSLY Day, according to my travel company. My young co-workers appear to want quiet, safe, comfortable lives. Are we boomers unique in still pursuing ideals and meaning?
@Activist: No, but they’re unique in thinking they’re the only ones who seek ideals and meaning.
@Banana Jr. 6000: But….but….we ended the war in Vietnam*! Levitated the Pentagon**! Got weed legalized***!
* sorta
** not really
*** eventually
@Banana Jr. 6000: Yeah, my Gen Z son is running for the Green Party while my Boomer butt just wants to spend my retirement in a comfy chair.
Bliss – Well, that’s dark.
Mary Worth – This might almost make sense if Dawn were nine years old. Dad’s girlfriend could resent the kid because Dad cares about her and spends so much time with her. However, Dawn is a COLLEGE STUDENT. So far this story involves a psychopath and a father and daughter who are both emotionally stunted, not to mention dimwitted, oblivious, and obtuse. However, I can’t look away from this flustercuck.
9CL – I should tear myself away from this. Hellmaw. Thorax. Legs. Another abominable detective story. Thorax alone should be enough to skip this for the duration.
Rex Morgan – There sure are a lot of random people wandering around this crime scene. One would think that something might happen, but so far that isn’t the case.
@Peanut Gallery: I get that reference!
@MKay: I-ending names: I know a woman named Tami, and her daughter also has a name that ends in I.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Fun party boy would probably expect Summer to go dutch on the drugs.
Wrecks Moregone:
Stalker Guy died of boredom, like we all would.
@Ukulele Ike: He also did Romeo and Juliet in the same fashion, making a big deal about how his overt sexualization of the thirteen-year-old Juliet was not creepy or weird because “back then it was normal for girls her age to be married!” Never mind the fact that a) it was very much not normal back then, and even Juliet’s dad initially admits she’s way too young for all this, and b) he set the whole thing in fascist Italy rather than Renaissance Verona. (The whole thing climaxed with Juliet stripping down to the waist before stabbing herself, while Brooke ranted in the commentary about performances where actresses “stabbed” themselves through several layers of brocade and corset–never mind that his Juliet was for some reason buried in a black sheath dress with ample decolletage.)
@treetown: GT art: Based on the April 04 art, I don’t think it’s rough drafts – that one shows a blatantly obvious crazy perspective / vanishing point for Panel 3’s picture on the wall. A non- tilted rectangle would be better. And yet the background lines in Panel 1 are fine. It really looks like the artist is deliberately choosing to go for a “quirky” style and just can’t pull it off. The tweaks beyond realism are random, unstable, and get in the way of even recognizing characters. The painfully exaggerated style is giving me “hello fellow kids”-level cringe.
Compare that to Flash Gordon, which goes for simplified / angular / exaggerated quite a bit but the characters are obvious and the exaggerations can work to give an alien world feel.
@TheDiva: I remember that arc. Unfortunately. There were lots of self-congratulation “what it all meant” after the play nominally ended.
“never mind that his Juliet was for some reason buried in a black sheath dress with ample decolletage.”
Yes, but the question remains: When she was buried, was she commando underneath that dress? If Brooke addressed that question, please don’t tell me. I really would prefer not to know.
@I speak Jive: This whole storyline makes me root for Belle because while she’s clearly insane for wanting to kill Dawn so she can have Wilbur, the Westons are incredibly unsympathetic. Dawn is acting like a bratty child sulking about not having her dad’s attention when she should be trying to be independent and Wilbur is acting both oblivious and fully aware of the conflict between Dawn and Belle but is enabling it because he seems to enjoy the attention like the self centered asshole he is.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box, 9CL: They may be trapped in a Tralfamadorian zoo with multiple Montana Wildhacks.
And so it goes.
@TheDiva: @Dmsilev: Wow, I had COMPLETELY erased the memory of the Pibgorn R&J. Thank god.
Salome was also a youngster when she danced before Herod and had Jokannan’s head chopped off — about fifteen, I believe. I have a framed reproduction of Moreau’s The Apparition hanging at the staircase landing. Ol’ Gus definitely had an older and more buxom young lady in mind.
@Little Guy: Tune in tomorrow for Love of Chair!
@Dmsilev, 9CL: He did first meet his decades-long collaborating partner, Kathryn Stott, in his underwear.
@Dmsilev: The Midsummer’s Night Dream arc “post-production” notes was the first instance of Brooke calling his anyone who didn’t appreciate the story arc “beefwits” that were unable to appreciate his “art”.
@Ukulele Ike:
#104 Ike, ok, thanks for noticing younger generations also have ideals. Even though those I know don’t seem to.
We escalated Vietnam fighting, then quit.
Our Presidents were corrupt, but then we found out about one.
We stopped runaway population growth, now it’s restarted.
We started environmental movement with Rachel Carson, but ignored many issues.
We had great leaders for justice who guided us, then backtracked part way, tho not all.
The Age of Aquarius didn’t quite pan out. Maybe instead of being the greatest generation, we’ve been the #1 Okayist generation.
Bliss: What th—?!? Are those supposed to be BAILEY’S ashes? He’s been a contract player over there for years now, but he’s still part of our client base! Did they “off” him off-panel? This is a heck of a way to let us know he’d been terminated! Why, he made a regular appearance just a few…. waitaminute. Exactly when did we last see him?
I’d heard rumors of conflict between him and Mittens the Cat – you noticed that they didn’t appear together so much lately. Yeah, they seemed to be pairing him mostly with a Squirrel – usually Squeaky, shown here today. I dunno if that relationship went bad or what… Anyway, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this. I suspect Bailey is just hanging around over there waiting for a ride, so we’re heading right over. We’ll bring him home… one way or the other. Hey, Intern, grab a rake and a lawn vac, just in case…
@Rube:
#105. Sounds like you raised him right! Perhaps your job now is just to fine tune from a distance.
9CL = A new article about The Master, written by his daughter, the puppeteer:
https://nicolarosedirects.substack.com/p/an-interview-with-brooke-mceldowney?fbclid=IwY2xjawJiWHBleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHoB7_sZ4skRySh7HiFlgdhnEykKDJTCBoUPwCiLFHxL1bSsBa3ALnBLs5tXr_aem_ICV-23hg7DqWMwrTMaWiDg:
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box:Whoa, dude that link does a number on phones. Can you or Lumpy edit it?
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: I find them difficult to fap to. They just don’t exude the raw sexual heat of a Greg and Karen Evans.
Marvin-“Oh no. I expect you to eat me,” Marvin’s Mother says.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Oh dear.
“However, I have an end in mind for the the present Pibgorn story, and a plan to go on to a new one. I also want to cobble Pibgorn settings of Twelfth Night and The Tempest. Pibgorn would play Ariel; and I suppose Drusilla could be Miranda, although she never comes across as quite such an innocent. Possibly she could be Prospera. Yes, I think Prospera would do nicely.”
Can someone hook Shakespeare’s body up to a dynamo? I feel that the grave-spinning would yield ample power. On the other hand, the odds of this actually coming to pass are pretty low, considering his current pace on the strip.
@Ukulele Ike: Worth reading the novel – it isn’t too long and a nice work that stands up to time. Hemingway and Cormac McCarthy get a lot of praise for their plain stark prose, but James Cain is right up there. His description of how Walter Neff falls for Phyllis Dietrichson and how they execute the murder and the consequences is great. Cain worked for an insurance company so the discussion about how companies of that era dealt with big claims is interesting. It was also the era before Miranda rights, and so using a rubber hose and beating suspects was no joke.
The movie ending is very good but the book is better.
@treetown: The movie I was referring to at #101 is Under the Skin, not Double Indemnity.
But I agree with you — Cain’s novel is much better than the movie, and the movie is terrific. The Phyllis in the book is a lunatic.
”The moon.”
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Brooke came across as somewhat less pretentious than I expected, although he was pretty full of himself by the end of the interview. I thought that he looked gaunt in the photo, but he said that he’s fine.
He claims that creating 9CL takes a tremendous amount of time. Imagine how much longer it would take if he drew backgrounds.
I still think that 9CL is pretentious soft p0rn garbage.
MG&G: Along with what Josh has pointed out, Grimm has short fur without any curls in it, making him look even less like a poodle. In fact I’m open to the idea that he’s a pika trained to think of itself as a dog.
RMMD: So the answer to the question “How high do you have to be to get obsessed with Summer and start stalking her?” turns out to be “Very.”
Rex rolls up. He looks around. “Well, my job is done.” He drives home, consuming a packet of Combos and a six pack of tall Steel Reserves on the way
C-Shaft: Talk to me about a school bus rodeo and my mind goes to roping short buses and things of that nature, but somehow I doubt Crankshaft and Rocky will be doing anything even that amusing.
DT: Uncle Piltie certainly likes his mixed drinks, although he doesn’t hit the bottle as hard as I probably would if sharing a hideout with Claire and the two nephews.
Dustin: There’s, like, three whole extra zeroes, maaaaaaan!
Lockhorns: Big news this week if Leroy’s three managers choose to press those buttons, opening up a trapdoor that will drop him into a nest of hungry alligators. Loretta will then have to marry a whole new Leroy and spend a few months breaking him in.
Luann: Ah, I had almost forgotten that Luann considers herself a poet. So it’s, um, nice to see again how little evidence there is for that claim.
MT: A man in Peter Pan tights is thrusting his crotch at Mark and asking “How do you like the new me?” so I guess Jules has just given up and is writing fan fiction now.
MW: For the record having your (fill in appropriate relationship tag here) lean over and give you a handjob while you drive is a bad idea even if the two of you are alone in the car.
Phantom: That feeling of satisfaction you get when you’ve collected a full set of meditating monks.
@Ukulele Ike: Well, there is certainly a lot of “meat” to harvest…
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
#129. PHANTOM:. Curious why KD (tutor) has his hands behind his back. Are his hands tied? Or is it a Buddhist (?) stance of submission? Or is he holding a phone or weapon,? Check yesterday’s strip.
MW: If Belle isn’t human, then my guess is that she is the chess computer from the 1970s, who, V’Ger-style, evolved to achieve sentience but not common sense. She is trying to prevent Dawn from promoting to a queen, so she can keep Wilbur as her stale mate.
@I speak Jive: Brooke looks all emaciated and is six foot seven inches tall because he is really Mike Teavee, and Mr. Wonka had to stretch him out on the taffy machine back in 1964. He later changed his name because he admires the Irish.
@I speak Jive: Re 9CL: Did that lady go from having grey hair to being a redhead and suddenly double her cleavage? Why am I even asking? It’s Brookeworld.
Is Hi & Lois about how future archaeologists will be too stupid to recognize a midden for some reason, or are we to conclude there has been some kind of structure erected over the dump that could be confused for a temple? Or is he just thinking about how they would interpret his hat, which honestly I’m not entirely clear on now?
@The Rambling Otter: oh god you’re right…
@Artist formerly known as Ben: She sure did. It’s amazing that a person with no chin can have so many teeth.
What’s with the basket of blueberries next to the phone?
Random drive by post from a long-time lurker:
Jay North, the original TV Dennis the Menace, has passed.
https://variety.com/2025/tv/news/jay-north-dead-dennis-the-menace-1236361237/?
@Bob Tice:
#2. MW:. Bob, you could be right about Belle’s absence resulting in the fall of the economy. I just belatedly did a search on Megacorp Orlando, to find it has only two principals. Apparently, one is with Wilbie and the other six feet under. (But the good news is, he didn’t die alone).
@Texas Stranger: WE KNOW!
(yesterday) @Professor Well Actually:
@TheDiva: I had completely forgotten the Pibgornization of Romeo & Juliet. Even now I’m sure that I read it, but my good and loyal brain refuses to let anything through.
@Activist: I just bet he didn’t, heh-heh.
MG&G: Grimm is a Plugger
Has anyone mentioned that Jay North, star of “Dennis the Menace”, is dead at 73?
Ever heard of Mount Testaccio? It’s a half-mile wide dump near Rome filled with the remains of approx 50 million clay amphorae. And while archeologist did and do research that huge dump, you know what they DON’T think the Romans did? They don’t think they worshiped clay amphorae.
@CHORUS:
Like I said, a random drive-by post. Thanks for the update.
While not as common as having a senior moment, Having a blonde moment absolutely is a common phrase.