Current and future ghosts
Post Content
The Phantom, 5/17/25
One of the key ongoing dramas of The Phantom is the question of what woman will contribute her genetic material to the ongoing Phantom bloodline by allowing Kit to sire the 24th Phantom on her, and so far the main competitors have been Kit’s local sweetheart in Tibet or his mother and sister’s choice, Kadia Sahara, the daughter of former Phantom archnemesis The Nomad. But … is there another? Savarna, of course, has mostly been interested in Kit’s dad, having flirted with him when he thought his wife was dead and proposed a superstar teamup that the Ghost Who Has Morals rejected because she’s violent and kind of insane. As a result, it seems that flirtation has cooled — sure, rescuing her from Gravelines Prison was the inciting incident behind the years-long “Death of the Phantom” arc, but that was a purely platonic jailbreak. Anyway, apparently somewhere along the line that I forgot about she met Kit back at the Skull Cave, and like many a young man, he fell under the spell of a worldly, sophisticated older woman. Like, look at her: she’s using a napkin! Ooh la la, fancy lady!
Gil Thorp, 5/17/15
There’s been some spring sports action in Gil Thorp over the past couple weeks that quite frankly has not risen to a level of “interesting” that would get me to comment on it. But Coach Martinez attempting to summon the ghost of Pop(s) right there in the athletic department storage room specifically to prove a point to Gil, to the obvious amusement of the other assistant coaches? You’d better believe I’m ready for multiple weeks of this.
Dennis the Menace, 5/17/25
Henry, wearing that checkered suit jacket/bow tie combo in public anywhere of course marks you as a true fashion moron. But specifically wearing it to a restaurant’s clearly labelled Western night? You dipshit. You absolute fool.
115 replies to “Current and future ghosts”
Gil Thorp:
” ‘[R]eign’ in” Luke? — is Coach supposed to make Luke a king?
Dennis alternate caption:
Dennis: I bet he likes Radio Ranch!
Alice: Leave Mr. Batiuk alone.
Dennis the Menace:
“And if his serving doesn’t satisfy him, he might ‘Caesar’ salad as well by reaching across the table and grabbing it from her!”
DtM: Nothing is more menacing than puns…except for Henry’s crimes against fashion.
GT: I haven’t really followed the ridiculous narrative of Gil Thorp but whoever is doing the art now either has a broken hand or needs their hand broken because Gil in the middle panel looks like he was made with silly putty and stretched.
MW: “Love interest?” I guess Moy couldn’t just say “fuck buddy” because no one who has ever canoodled with Wilbur Weston can say it was out of love or interest.
Dennis the Menace:
“Big hat, no cows,” muses a clearly envious Mr. Mitchell.
RMMD-It’s funny because she’s eating the cat food.
MW-“Belle’s fine. She gives me all the right feelings.” In bed.
FC-Time to send Grandma away to Santa Royale to live with that nice Mary Worth.
DtM: Henry’s fashion faux pas is really not that big a deal. This ‘event’ seems to be happening in his eccentric neighbor’s apartment.
DtM: Good to see Ketcham not spoonfeeding the reader by giving the cowboy cosplayer something humans eat with ranch dressing, like a salad or chicken wings.
RMMD: Yes, but only one has reacted to change by horking up hairballs. Snowball, however, is fine with the new kibble.
BG&SS: “In this state? Textbooks! So, a little of column A…”
MW: Wilbur’s got exactly one feeling in charge.
Pluggers: “This audition for Salome is a mere formality.”
Blondie: “AT&T presents You Make the Call: Should our impressionable kids watch the game at Dagwood’s or Thirsty’s?
You made the right call! (If you didn’t, Child Protective Services will contact you shortly.)
CS: “I entered your username and password. All that’s coming up is your parents’ Pornhub account. Child Protective Services will contact them shortly.”
Crankshaft : the “solution” to the bus overcrowding was… come up with a pretext to not pick up the kids, ie something they were already doing.
…At least Batiuk got in a dig at technology
(even though “What’s the password?” is older than WW2)**********
Gil Thorp : this isn’t enough. Luke Hernandez-Martinez should be dressed in a black robe, wearing a crown made out of deer antlers, and wielding a ceremonial curved/wavy sacrifical dagger. And even then, this whole “one of the coaches goes insane and starts doing with rituals to try to undo a ‘curse’ ” bit STILL wouldn’t be half as over-the-top as it could be!
It’s a shame that Dawn decided that her mother was too much of a snob that refused to enable her lazy
slutslacker ways because now, Dawn is going to be her narcissistic father’s pawn until she moves out. And he’s going to willingly throw her into the tiger hole at the first chance that some poor gullible woman touches his eruption button.GT – Baseball, Football, Volleyball, Golf, Hockey, and now, we can add Ouija Boards to the list of things Barajas doesn’t understand how they work.
Ph: Far be it from me to question Bengalan traditions, but what’s with all the water? You’ve got three massive jugs of the stuff to go with a tea saucer of crackers. Maybe just ease off on the salt.
GT: I see that Couch Martinez didn’t have a regular Ouija board ready so we had to go with his Ouija-themed doormat. Is that a cheap alternative than a ring cam, where the spirit tells you who’s knocking?
DtM: Most adults in this strip seem to be annoyed or perplexed by Dennis’ little comments, but this guy seems really into it. “Fuck yeah: I love ranch dressing. I love it in ways that would blow your mind, little man…”
GT: “He’s freaking out faculty and students” because…it’s being broadcast live over the school wide AV system? Seriously, what high school student wouldn’t find this hilarious.
Luann – The manager at Weenie World is going to learn why Luann doesn’t work at the Fuze when they try (and fail) to teach her food safety basics.
MW: “Belle’s FINE…she gives me all the RIGHT FEELINGS! WHOLESOME feelings…the kind of feelings you get on a Sunday morning as you walk back from a service where you heard an inspiring homily that makes you want to devote the rest of your life to changing the world for the BETTER! RIGHT FEELINGS that are the source of unshakable faith, love of my fellow man, and generosity of spirit that doesn’t need recompense.
Had you there for a minute, didn’t I, Mary? To be honest, Belle gives me the best head I ever had! Better than I’m about to give this muffin, even.”
Phantom: To be fair, if I had a sinecure newspaper comic nobody read, and an artist who had to draw anything I scripted, I’d probably write endless stories of exotic beauties trying to seduce my author insert characters too.
Dennis the Menace:
“Is that Junior Samples over there, Mom; and did he take Ozempic?”
Luann: Considering that Bernice is taking full advantage of the DeGroot family’s hospitality, she could at least lay off the Carnation Instant Bitch for breakfast every morning.
@richardf8
Looking at the oracle mat, you may add “which letter comes after K” to that list.
@pugfuggly:
….so we had to go with his Ouija-themed doormat.
Gil ruins the moment when he angrily wipes his feet on it. “Who let that dog on campus!?”
The Phantom:
“But I have more important things to think about, like plotting revenge against everyone responsible for the fact that Johnny Rivers hasn’t been inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!”
@Needless Exposition:
I was going to point out, last week was entirely about how BERNICE didn’t have a job, but this week has been entirely about how LUANN should get one (even though the strip also said “Oh yeah, Luann TOTALLY DOES TOO still have that tutoring and assistant daycare worker job”).
@Anonymous: Bernice has figured out that getting a job means that she’ll have to give up extorting her disabled “best friend” for free room and board. And God forbid she stop being a smug, self righteous prude and actually develop any positive qualities.
Gil Thorp:
“Are you ready to talk to the Ghost, Thorp?”
“Red Grange — the Galloping Ghost? Absolutely! — I mean, he’s a sports hero, and this is a sports-themed strip!”
DtM: Cowboy is going to fling his mashed potatoes at Henry in three…two…one…
Luann – Wasn’t this Wee Weenie World yesterday? And now it’s just Weenie World? Has Luann moved up to bigger dicks?
GT – You can never really say you’re ready to talk to the ghost. All you can do is sit down, light a candle, and hope you can keep up your end of the conversation when he appears.
MW: “You don’t seem to understand, Mary. I’m getting it every which way from Sunday. Now if you would like to take over that role, then maybe I’ll listen. Otherwise, butt out.”
“Okay, fine, Wilbur, I won’t involve myself any further. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Then Mary hands Wilbur three dozen muffins loaded with salt peter.
MW – I hope Batshit Bellefrey turns out to be Lorena Bobbitt.
MW: I’m impressed; Wilbur is breaking his own records. He’s out-Wilburing himself.
DtM: Henry is dressed as the famous Dodge City Tax Preparer. Anyone can see that.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Considering that we won’t be finding Wilbur facedown in the Charterstone pool, that would be the ideal scenario.
GT: Uh-oh! Looks like someone reported Coach Martinez to school management.
JP: “Sam, Abbey, this is Glen. He doesn’t have much of a beard, so he had some stubble tattooed on his face to look fashionable. Isn’t it great?”
Ziggy: Ziggy dies an unspeakable death.
MW: Mary, if you kill him here and now, you will go down as the greatest character in soap opera comic history.
Phantom – Are you gonna eat those Splack (TM) crumpets, or are they for anyone….
GT – I hope this is moving towards demonic possession! Gil would like a demon on the court, floor or field….
DtM – And Jesus liked cross-dressing…right Dennis….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
The “Wee Weenie” is actually Weenie World’s name for the kids’ meal. Because of course Luann orders from the children’s menu
because that’s her mental age[TO WATCH HER WEIGHT].@Lauralot: Moy would sooner kill off the title character than she would her prized pig.
CS: “My user name and password are Fuck You, Asshole. Now let me on this bus or I’ll hack your Bean’s End account and you’ll never see so much as another zucchini seed from them.”
DtM: Guy wears a hat while he eats and grips a fork like he’s riding a bicycle. And he’s still not as big a doofus as Henry is.
I guess I don’t follow Gil Thorp enough to know if I’m supposed to be familiar with the Martin-ettes: are they female or male (I mean, come on, look at the face of the blonde one); are they staff (as indicated by the “M” for Milford — though possibly Martinez — polo shirts) or are they students (maybe he gave them the shirts for going along with this, though enlisting high school kids into your fantasy seems a little pervy). Anyway, someone had to arrange those candles in groups of 3, and the leader of the cult is too important for that.
Dennis – For once, I approve of Dennis’s taunting. That ridiculous cowboy cosplayer deserves to be mocked. I bet he drives a Ford Mustang.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I see you’re writing a letter to the newspaper”
“That’s right. I disagreed with their latest editorial”
“And you’re not afraid of sounding like a crank?”
“No. This will be well-reasoned and insightful”
“How do you spell ‘imbecile’?”
@Peanut Gallery:
Worse. It’s an old Pinto.
Pluggers: Don’t forget to pluck your chin feathers.
DtM- Sorry Henry, that’s the fashion sheriff- you’re heading for the hoosegow!
Dennis the Menace: What does “Western Night” at a local diner even mean? Is it an event? The name of the restaurant? At the very least, I’d assume the staff would dress as cowboys, not one random patron in “Support Your Local Sheriff” cosplay.
@23 Needless Exposition: I thought Bernice earned her room and board by being Mrs. deGroot’s jilling-off partner. Didn’t the latter give the former some soft core porn books sometime after the former traumatized herself peeing after bedtime?
@26 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: No, Luann hasn’t moved up to Crankshaft, Loathsome Lil or Wilbur Weston, the biggest dicks on the comics page.
@29 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Or this woman.
@Baja Gaijin:
The whole “Bernice and Luann’s mom bond over their shared love of erotica” storyline was abruptly dropped a while ago, and never brought up again since. IIRC, it was dropped right as it built up to Bernice and Luann’s mom planning to meet the author of all the mermaid porn they liked in person at a book signing, but then that event never happened on panel, and it was never mentioned again.
She’s barely in the picture but that man’s dinner companion appears to be dressed normally, which makes me suspect that “Western Night” is an excuse created by his embarrassed family who owns the restaurant for this giant baby to wear his sheriff costume in public outside of Halloween.
DTM…Henry isn’t having it
DtM: To tell the truth, I feel sorry for the Lonesome Cowboy. He saw in the paper that the local restaurant was having “Western Night” and got all excited laying out his cowboy hat and boots, vest and neckerchief, even a sheriff’s star. He was expecting big fun, a real hootenanny with line dancing and that good ol’ cowboy music. And what does he get? NOTHING. Tonight’s special is chicken a la king, and even his own wife was too embarrassed to wear the Dale Evans dress he bought her.
And you KNOW she won’t wear the spurs to bed later on, which he was really looking forward to.
GT: “Multiple weeks of this”? Silly Josh, this is Barajas-era Gil Thorp. We’ll be lucky if the Ouija storyline even continues on Monday, let alone for weeks.
DtM: There was a funnier version of this gag in 1993 when Dennis happens to see pop singer Michael Jackson at a restaurant and asks him if he likes Neverland ranch-dressing.
DtM: Having seen Lonesome Dove, Dennis innocently (ahem) asks the couple if they’re going home to have a poke like his parents are.
@pugfuggly: Fun fact: the word “Ouija” is trademarked by Hasbro, so rather than pay royalties to the game company a lot of writers resort to using phrases like “spirit board” or “witch board.” “Oracle board” seems to be the go-to for boards designed by new-agey woodworkers, so I’m guessing Coach Luke got his on Etsy. Give the man credit for supporting small business.
FC – Holier than thou Grandma might forget a doctor’s appointment, but she definitely can tell you every time since 1973 that her harlot daughter-in-law didn’t clean the house properly, burned dinner, dressed the melonheads inappropriately for the weather, wasn’t a “good wife” (you know what I mean), baked cookies with store bought dough, and got sloshed.
Frazz – I’m going to sit around and read all day just to spite these fanatical assholes.
Mary Worth – Come on, giant meteor! They’re in the same room. Two birds with one stone.
Pluggers – What does she do with lipstick? She doesn’t have lips.
Sherman’s Lagoon – I honestly don’t know what to think about Hawthorne’s butt crack.
@mstgator: Well, technically it has been going on for multiple weeks, it’s just been interspersed with Coach Permawave’s tepid rivalry with Gil Thorp and all Thorp-adjacent personnel. There may be another subplot in all of this, but if there is it’s so dull even by the standards of this strip that I forgot it.
GT: Look, Gil, this is an easy fix. Just pass word of this along to the “prayer in public school” advocates; they’ll come down on Coach Luke faster than you can say “double standard.”
Phantom: Sarvana has proven multiple times to be violent, self-centered, short-sighted and concerned with nobody beyond herself. But she’s also thirsty for the Walker D, so I guess we’re supposed to empathize with her.
Mary Worth – This conversation is causing me to loathe Wilbur even more than I did when he jumped off the cruise ship. What a self absorbed jerk. Mary’s stilted dialogue is moving her up on the most hated characters list, too.
To be fair, the characters don’t know that Belle has tried to poison Dawn. Only we readers have that knowledge. I do have to give Mary some credit for taking Dawn’s uneasy feelings seriously.
I wonder how this situation will turn out. Mary will probably have some suspicions when she meets Belle.
@55 I speak Jive: Does this image contain the missing final panel you wish?
@58 I speak Jive: “This conversation is causing me to loathe Wilbur even more…” One day science will prove that the amount of Wilbur-loathing in the universe is larger than the amount of dark matter in the same universe. Hell, they may discover dark matter is actually free-floating Wilbur-loathing.
@Baja Gaijin: Yes! Thank you!
MW: I’d call Wilbur an ass, but that would be an insult to every equine on the planet.
Gil Thorp: If one can’t draw to save their life, why they making a career out of art?
There was a quote from an old computer game called “Hugo 2: Whodunit”
“A detective who catches red herrings all day, might as well quite their job and become a fisherman”
The game attributes it to Confucius, but that seems iffy, as I don’t believe there were even Detectives way back when he was alive, or even the concept of “Red Herrings” as a term.
Still, this is one of my favourite quotes regardless.
@Daisy: Or an insult to literal asses as well. My ass deserves better than being compared to Wilbur.
RexMd: I would rather read a whole month of strips about Snowball and his new kibble than one more day of Wilbur Weston and his sex addiction. (Those final six words were torturous to write, believe me.)
MW: “Belle’s fine;” says Wilbur as he takes a long, exaggerated lick of the muffin he’s holding.
“Can I use your bathroom?” He asks with a glazed look in his eyes.
GT: Unfortunately, a missing ‘K’ is the least of their problems with that knock-off “Oracle board.” Somehow the staff got hold of a top-secret prototype surveillance device. They think they’re talking to incorporeal spirits, but actually they’re being recorded by the NSA.
DtM: Is that…a restaurant? Or someone’s dining room? And why would either of those places have a Western night?
C’shaft: Please, Crankshaft can’t be bothered to remember these kids’ real names; you think he’s going to learn security info for each of them?
DT: Ugh, this ENTIRE PLOT was just an excuse to justify that sub-Gil Grissom one-liner, wasn’t it?
Dustin: You THINK? You THINK that there’s an eensy-weensy chance that your phone is tracking your search history and other personal data and algorithmically curating your information access? How did a slow-witted idiot like you ever pass his bar exam?
JP: Either give Glen five-o-clock shadow or don’t, but quit half-assing it like this. Panel two looks like he got interrupted while wiping barbecue sauce off his face.
Luann: I’d like to know what fast-food franchise is hiring people just for the purpose of “wiping tables.” Half of them are so understaffed you’ve got one seventeen-year-old working the counter, the drive-thru window, and the deep fryer all at the same time.
MW: The thing about Wilbur isn’t just that he’s awful, it’s that he’s awful in a way that has become all too familiar in the internet age. Social media sites and message boards are clogged with this type of sub-mediocre man who gets offended every time a Black actor is cast in Star Wars and thinks he would be quite the catch if only women weren’t so shallow. They’re pretty much 75% of the remaining user base on Xwitter now.
RMMD: You know what, at this point I’m more interested in Snowball’s cat food. What prompted the diet change? Did they start snubbing the old stuff? Was there too much scarf-and-barf? Are they a pate aficionado, or more of a shreds-in-gravy type? Don’t leave me hanging like this!
@The Rambling Otter:
I thought of *that* definition of “ass” as well but I think more highly of the human body than that. Maybe if I could find a brand of bathroom tissue with Wilbur’s smug, stupid face on it I would feel vindicated.
DT: I will hold out the teeniest-tiniest bit of hope that the Sunday strip is a wall of text recap of the hospital (deathbed?) Piltdown confession which goes through why they wanted to steal the body, why failing to do so didn’t matter, why Piltdown left things in his office that he needed the bumbling nephews to fetch instead of actually staging “off on a business trip”, what was up with the church wallet dropoff, what… forget it, nobody’s got microfilm readers at home to see the tiny font that would be required
@The Rambling Otter: Chinese forensic investigation actually did start around the time of Confucius. (The history of Chinese forensic sciences is fascinating.) And 2000 years before that, ancient Mesopotamians were using fingerprints to verify identities. So the concept of investigation has been around at least as long as humans have lived in cities.
I agree, it’s most likely not a real Confucius quote, but it very well could be a modern version of a very ancient saying.
Goodness, look at the “cowboy’s” facial expression. THERE is a man who has known Alice Mitchell. FOR SEX!
Josh…
I am…in awe
You not really not can follow the convoluted plot of the Phantom, but pull history from the first year of the Obama administration to explain current events in the TP Universe.
Your dedication knows no bounds, sir, and though I have followed since (gulp) the days just after you stopped being IRTCSYDHT, you never cease to entertain and, occasionally, astound.
All that to say: what the hell about The Phantom? What is going on?
DT: uncle found a suitable double in Sarge whom he killed to cover his embezzlement. So what were the dum dum nephews trying to accomplish in their morgue raid?
MW: others may find this slow pace excruciating but this is great! We see prime pure Wilbur unfiltered and raw. He is having a great moment. Sexual and gustatory bliss. Now comes the downfall with an attack on Dawnie that everyone at Charterhouse will talk about for decades.
RMMD: perhaps the next arc will be about something medical – there can be some compelling stories I hear.
@TheDiva: So is every member of the Jungle Patrol Danger Rangerette squad, so Savarna better take a ticket and get in line.
Several years ago a co-worker of mine let drop that she was planning a long weekend trip to Lily Dale, the famous spook town in western New York State. I said “Don’t forget to pack your Ouija board,” to which she deadpanned “I think they probably got a few there.”
@Baja Gaijin: wonderful!
@Rare Commenter: not only these reference but in some of the earlier entries there are references to previous Wilbur relationship problems.
@Baja Gaijin:
Or this woman.
Yikes, with a wife like that, I can see how he’d need to watch porn.
Cripes, lady, just get a divorce.
@The Rambling Otter:
Gil Thorp: If one can’t draw to save their life, why they making a career out of art?
Or spell.
Gil Thorp: Summoning undead creatures from a creepy high school basement? I wouldn’t have expected Gil Thorp to be the vehicle for the latest appearance by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I’m not against it.
Dennis the Menace: It’s been pretty well established that Dennis has his own Junior Cowboy outfit, so this “Western Night” must have come as a surprise to everyone. (Either that, or the kid finally realized that his actual role on any ranch would be as a farmhand shoveling cow poop, and his everyday overalls would do just fine.)
Blondie: Dagwood seems to have finally put a couch in his living room… for the sole purpose of spending time alone with the neighbor kids while he feeds them snacks. This is a wholesome comic strip, so I’m not going to make the obvious crass jokes here, okay? Nope, he’s trying to give them binge-eating disorders so they grow up just like him, which is also bad!
@Veronica!: Very cool!
@BigTed: Or Sam and Dean Winchester.
Still waiting for a crossover between the two shows. It could work, and besides Sam and Dean have entered TV Show worlds several times. So that would avoid any shared canon controversy.
I know this isn’t the first time Bernice has been negative to Luann, but it is where I’ve realized she’s negging her. She really needs to try something less subtle if she wants to get anywhere.
DT: I’m trying to work out what I’d make of this if I hadn’t learned on this forum that Expense Account Guy was based on a radio character I’d never previously heard of called Johnny Dollar, who signed off “Yours truly, Johnny Dollar”, but the strip was being careful not to name him. I mean, I’d probably be baffled, but it would still be far from the aspect of the story I was most baffled by.
JP: Oh, I see, Glen’s failed attempt at designer stubble is the story trying to drive home to Sam and Abby that Sophie is dating An Adult Man, just in case the fact he’s a head taller than Sophie and they’ve already been told he’s older than her isn’t enough to clue them in. (And yes, if Sophie’s just graduated college then she’s reached her adult height and boys her age can probably grow stubble. This is Judge Parker, don’t apply logic to it.)
MW: “She’ll come around” is literally what Wilbur said when Mary first pointed out Dawn’s discomfort, back on Tuesday. Moy’s been rehashing the same two points for so long she’s run out of ways to say it!
@Daisy:
Adding “Wilbur Weston and his Sex Addiction” to my list of potential band names.
@The Rambling Otter: There’s some good Historical China detective stories out there — Judge Dee is a series by Robert van Gulik based on an anonymous 18th century Chinese novel, based on an actual Tang Dynasty magistrate (a few hundred years after Confucius, of course).
@Rare Commenter: Well, my helpful kindle autocorrect convoluted my comment as usual. The should read “You can not only follow…” Smh
GS: Well, well, well…someone likes to brag.
@Treetown: The Wilbur plots at least make sense. I try to follow The Phantom story every couple.of years and after a few months i give up, having never made heads nor tails of it. Its an enigma inside a conundrum inside a whirlpool inside….well, I have lost the point as much as I feel The Phantom has
@I speak Jive: I think Moy knows just how awful Wilbur is but she still brings him out because he gets more attention than any other character and she’s like a neglected toddler or one of my mom’s second husband’s daughters who craves any kind of attention whether it’s positive or negative. Every single time that Wilbur is in focus, he becomes more obnoxious and entitled with the entire cast having nothing better to do than coddle and enable his actions with Mary as the lead enabler. Not once has Wilbur learned from his mistakes and now he’s sitting smugly on Mary’s couch, not at all concerned about how the only person who actually cares about him is feeling uncomfortable because he’s getting some action.
Seriously, Belle is targeting the wrong Weston.
@mstgator: No, Barajas will not drop it. We’ll spend some time on a whole bunch of other stuff and then we’ll all be puzzled by Martinez starind at Pops’ floating head hovering over a cauldron of posole.
@I speak Jive: Wilbur does have the anomaly of Belle throwing the poisoned pasta on the floor when he seemed to want to eat it.
GT: No table. Nine citronella candles not quite covering the overpowering smell of used gym socks. One of the participants openly guffawing. This is about the sloppiest séance I’ve ever seen. Any ghost who shows up will only stay long enough to register their disgust.
Phantom: “I could also see that he didn’t know how to handle a drinking glass, although I was too polite to say anything.”
@Horace Broon: #85: Back in 1974 the ABC network ran a TV movie based on a Judge Dee novel starring Khigh Dhiegh, the actor mostly known for playing archvillain Wo Fat on the original Hawaii Five-O series.
C-Shaft: Alarming to think that anyone thinks that Crankshaft has been too user-friendly up till now. Or any kind of friendly.
Curtis: Greg should be relieved that his son is more interested in food than in gangsta posturing. Not that it’s much of a surprise after you’ve seen Curtis sandwich it up with Dagwood Bumstead himself.
DT: This has been your Chris Evans koan of the day.
JP: Abbey looks like she’s blushing at this DA being very much on the P side but if she’s a real redhead it could just be the sun. Damn these outdoor daytime graduations.
Luann: At least Puddles will be happy that she’s coming home at night smelling of wiener (not that kind, perv).
MW: The bolding on “right feelings” is the print equivalent of an elbow to the ribs. I dream of Mary Worth dangling Wilbur out the window.
GT: Am I the only one bothered by “reign” instead of “rein”?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Luann – Wasn’t this Wee Weenie World yesterday? And now it’s just Weenie World? Has Luann moved up to bigger dicks?
Once you go salami, you never go back.
@Treetown: #73
“ an attack on Dawnie that everyone at Charterhouse will talk about for decades.”
And it will probably take that long for Karen Moy to conclude this absurd storyline…
@Baja Gaijin: Or this woman.
Brings new meaning to “eat a kettle of dicks.”
@mstgator: #84
*thumbs up!*
@Cleveland Mocks: Or spell.
Oversnarkpologies, I missed your veiled reference since I searched only for the unveiled word itself.
DtM – And the guy in the cowboy outfit says, “Ranch dressing? Wha’cha think I’m wearing you little twirp.”
Sorry about that, Uncle Lumpy. At first I couldn’t figure out why my comment was taken down, because we’re just having silly fun here. But after I thought about it a while, I realize that my comment could have been construed to mean something other than what I intended it to mean. So my bad.
@Just John: #95
You are not. Misspellings like this drive me crazy!
@Rare Commenter:
#88. PHANTOM: Josh’s plot summary was pretty good, so here’s just a little more:
Old Man Mozz had a vision that if #21 freed Savarna from prison, Diana and the kids would desert him and the legend. He freed her anyway and now he and Diana are trying to escape OMM’s consequence. That is, after Diana and the twins leave in disgust, he would hook up with Savarna who has twins. The legend then would pass down through her.
No one wants this. So far, they’ve managed to avoid “fate.”
@Anonymous: #97
That was *me*, li’l ole Daisy!! Dadgummit!
@Anonymous: #99
That was ME again – Daisy! Consarnnit!
@Just John: #95
That was me, just for the record.
@tverlaine: It’s a Christmas-themed Ouija board. No “L”.
@Horace Broon:
a few hundred years after Confucius, of course
Of course.
@Anonyminimouse: How are they going to call on “Lucifer” without the “L”?
MW: Willbur, you forget yourself! Dispensing that sort of filthy talk in front of Mary? You’re in for it now. You’ll be lucky if this ends with only one person dead.
@Just John: @Daisy: Someone should take hold of the reigns and pull Barajas up short. His Gil Thorp rein of terror has gone on far too long. As Bob Dylan said, a hard reign’s gonna fall.
Okay, off to watch the original The Invisible Man, starring Claude Reins.
@77 Cleveland Mocks: The husband should have been more specific when saying he wanted his penis in her mouth.
@98 Maude R. Fawker: [SNERK!]
@Peanut Gallery: Or a Bronco. When you want to go for a long drive through town.
Clearly they needed a reason for a guy eating in a cowboy outfit to make sense of that awesome punchline. A comic has to be believable you know.