The hottest frat fads from the early 20th century are back! Up next: phone booth stuffing
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Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/25/25
Every once in a while, I get frustrated with myself for not being able to remember my parents’ anniversary, or the names of people I’ve met socially on multiple occasions, but then on days like today I realize that those parts of my brain are being put to much more important uses, like remembering Slylock Fox puzzles from 2008 so I can immediately recognize when they get repeated. Today’s strip uses the same fake-Weirdly-hunger-strike gimmick as the previous version, but includes all new art, including the particularly grotesque detail of a duck cop sneeringly offering the Count a hot dog. In a world full of sapient pigs and cows, Weirdly may be refusing to eat primarily because he fears he’s being entrapped into a crime much graver than his usual misdemeanors.
Mary Worth, 5/25/25
I think we all kind of knew Belle was going to kill Willa, but I don’t think any of us expected her to eat her. I guess she saw Wilbur demonstrating genuine affection for his little fish friend and decided that she would need to actually consume her rival in order to gain Willa’s totemic power and transfer Wilbur’s affections to her. “But if that’s her M.O., why would she repeatedly try to poison Dawn, then?” you’re probably asking. “Wouldn’t that just befoul the meat?” That presumes Wilbur has ever displayed as much warmth for his daughter as he has for his fish, and I simply don’t believe that’s the case.
127 replies to “The hottest frat fads from the early 20th century are back! Up next: phone booth stuffing”
You could find out whether the Count is an android even faster, just check whether he pisses or poops. But we don’t want to have a riddle children might actually have fun with!
Wary Morth:
So what was Bats In The Bellefry’s plan to explain Willa’s disappearance? “Oh, Wilbie hon, she told me to tell you that she went on holiday”?
Wary Morth 2:
“Try to poison my daughter, that’s all right, but harm my goldfish? THAT’S WAR.”
Flylock Socks:
Just take a stethoscope to the android Weirdly and see if he has a heartbeat. Problem solved in 30 seconds!
MW: Aside from the uncomfortable amount of detail put into this, how is Belle going to casually brush this aside to keep her piggy pig? It’s not like this is his daughter; he actually cares about his fish.
SFx: Is it me or do the solutions for the “puzzles” of this comic sound a lot more complex than the average age of the people who actually try to solve the puzzles…which I presume is either age 8 or age 80.
Think deeper, Slylock! Maybe it’s not just this Weirdly who is an android, ALL the Weirdlys you have ever met are androids! Just as human scientists were being besieged by the Animal Army after the Animalapocalypse, they built a AI modelled after their brains, to preserve human intelligence and knowledge and eventually plot the human restoration! This could explain why Weirdly is the only real scientist around and can be in multiple places at the same time. Also, because he’s green: he’s solar-powered by chlorophyll
Flylock Socks 2:
Congratulations to Convict Cat, who’s just caught a yellow rat for dinner.
Slylock Fox:
I’ve got it! — apply for a writ of habeas corpus on Weirdly’s behalf. When the android appears in Court, the application for the writ will be denied, because there isn’t actually a corpus. Okay, so a little technical from a legalese standpoint, but that should do the trick!
MW: The look on Willa’s face in the next-to-last panel is stunning in its naked pathos. “I knew it would end,” she thinks, “but not like this. Not…like…this…”
Slylock: That hot dog is clearly too big to be anything but an actual dog. I’m guessing dachshund, primarily for the “weenie dog” jokes, although based on the size and shape, Scottish terrier is also a possibility.
SFx: I think we’re missing the fact that Max is about to get eaten by that cat prisoner. Well, I guess Officer Mallard there can always be Slylock’s new sidekick.
Slylock Fox-One month later. “Wow! I guess that really was Count Weirdly,” Slylock says finding Count Weirdly dead due to starvation.
Slylock Fox-“Fine. You won’t eat and we won’t feed you.”
RMMD-“Is that it? Is there really only two restaurants in our town?”
MW-And you know, Wilbur, that Belle is a pro at swallowing things.
FC-“Granddad, when will I stop dreaming about you and start dreaming about girls?”
@Ettorre: Or you could just cut him open. Even if it does turn out to be the real Weirdly, I don’t think they have laws against cruel and unusual punishment.
We complain about comic artists phoning it in, so I just want to give Brigman a shout-out: this Mary Worth is really good. I’m really feeling the full force Belle’s insane fish gobbling.
Slylock Fox:
Well, when he doesn’t say “The wiener takes it all!” after being handed the hot dog, then you’ll know it’s an ersatz Weirdly, because androids don’t do Abba parodies.
SFx: Once again I feel like Slylock is really overcomplicating his solutions here. Like surely he could just poke that thing with a pin and see if it bleeds, or hang around for a few hours see if it pees? Or sure, make a weigh chart over the next two weeks and see if it loses weight. I’m sure they’ll be no other animals crimes that will happen in the interim.
MW: I like that the throwaway panel seems to imply that Belle eating Wilbur’s beloved fish might actually be a good thing? I’m imaging that tomorrow’s strip is going to be her flashing a badge and saying “Belle Battfry, Interpol. I’ve been tracking that guppy ever since he offed the Italian ambassador to Malta. I’m sorry for the deception, Mr Weston, it was the only way I could get close without arousing suspicion…”
MW- Doesn’t matter, had sex
Slylock Fox:
Well, I mean, he could check to see if this Weirdly doppelganger uses the restroom, right? I mean, androids don’t use the restroom, do they?
@Schroduck: I love Brigman’s art. Even with Wilbur’s necrotic presence, I find MW to be the most aesthetically pleasing strip.
MW: I’m just thankful that Belle doesn’t have Chickweed Lane shark teeth. Nice uvula, by the way.
RMMD: The closer the wedding gets, the jerkier Truck gets. Rex will be called upon to administer some happy pills to the runaway bride-to-be. Runaway-to-be bride?
MW — Charles Van Doren quoted just after his disgrace for cheating on a TV quiz show?
“Dad, can you see now how foolish you were!?”
“I know Dawn, I should have paid attention to what you said!”
“Oh no, that was smart! No one should pay attention to what I say, not even me! But you dismissed Mary’s advice! That’s a mortal sin!”
MW: Sure, the disappearing fish would hard to explain, but so would the one-two combo of Dawn’s corpse and a plate of poisoned spaghetti. Among other things, Belle would be trying to explain the latter to the police. So I’m not surprised by Belle’s lack of foresight here.
@Schroduck: Cavity search. No permanent damage and it gives you leverage in an interrogation
Whoops, anonymous comment at 22 was me, I bumped “return”. I’m surprised it lets you comment without name and email.
…So, the common thread in Josh’s picks today is vore!? …Funny that the one featuring funny animals is significantly more tame than the one with actual humans
well, as close to actual humans as the characters in Mary Worth are, anyway…**************
Ripley’s Don’t Believe It :
a) I forget, was the joke that Les Moore couldn’t do it, or that he somehow managed to get all the way up, but couldn’t come back down?
b) It had, in fact, been stolen BECAUSE it was an obscure, little-known painting at the time
(Okay, it was actually because it’s significantly smaller than the other paintings in the gallery, and thus easier to conceal)c) And after a wild adventure to get it back so they could do other rounds of shooting, it turned out that the concept didn’t photograph well and they ended up editing pictures to put the balloon in there instead.
d) Wait, do they mean comic book-style “throwing your voice”, or how ventriloquism actually works in real life? ‘Cause those are VERY different things!
Considering June Brigman has had the task of drawing Karen Moy’s perverse brainrot for years, I can’t think of anyone who deserves more of a vacation than she does. Having to draw a slovenly Wilbur in his open bathrobe in a filthy condo was horrible enough; the amount of detail put into this really means that this woman is wasting her talent. A comic about a self absorbed tub of lard being enabled by his elderly landlady doesn’t deserve such good art.
Thank you, Mary Worth art, for dredging up childhood trauma around the mouse eating scene in the 1983 sci-fi miniseries, V.
Slylock: Weirdly anticipates the foxe’s MO and powers his android with a tank of highly compressed gas.
MW: it’s too bad Wilbur doesn’t have a pet Rottweiler. But I don’t like Belle as much as the rest of you. Actually the hound of the Baskervilles would be even better.
Androids do eat though, they take bytes.
MW: I don’t care for this remake of the opening scene of ‘The Lion King’.
[Seriously though, of all the directions this could have gone in, THIS was not even on my radar. The amazing thing is, I don’t think we’ve actually hit bottom yet. This can, and probably will, get even stupider.]
RMMD: So help me, I’d somehow convinced myself that Wanda Wanda BoBonda BananafanaFoFonda MiMyMoMonda here was engaged to Mud, not Truck, and with that crack about having her slave over a hot griddle to serve a crowd of hungry wedding guests (CAKE!) she has GOT to be having second thoughts right about now.
MW: Heh heh.
SFox: Are there no X-Ray machines left?
SlyF – Well, there’s always the Voight-Kampff test, right?
@Anonymous:So, the common thread in Josh’s picks today is vore!?
Well, the real feat is that he did that without a single Bill Holbrook strip!
@Needless Exposition: If only she could get back to Captain Ginger!
@Professor Well Actually: actually I’m picturing Belle shrieking “get him off me, get him off me, ” with everyone assuming she’s talking about Wilbur amuses me.
Will Wilbur fight Belle to get Willa back in an epic battle?
Best case scenario is that Wilbur kills Belle, but “she ate my goldfish” doesn’t hold any water in court as a defense, so Wilbur spends the rest of his life in prison.
Worst case scenario. Whether Willa survives or not. Wilbur simply tells Belle to get out, and so she leaves town. THE END.
MW: There’s a The Far Side strip called “Dinner On Elm Street” where a chicken in a dog costume tells a dinner party “No I’m not your little dog Fifi! I’m the chicken you thought you fixed for dinner! Would you like to know where your little Fifi is? Ha ha ha ha ha!” Anyway, that’s where I thought this was going. Would have been infinitely better.
Luann: Nobody wants to hear about what fits nicely into Luann’s box.
@The Rambling Otter: I want to see if she tries to turn this around and blame Dawn for double dog daring her to do it. “You know how those college kids are, Wilbie!”
This “A Fish Called Wanda” remake is ok, but Belle really is not selling the “comic” part of “comic madman” of Kevin Klein while Wilbur really lacks the je ne sais quoi of Michael Palin. And the less said about the psychosexual dynamics of Dawn in Jamie Lee Curtis’s role, the better.
I associate goldfish eating with flagpole sitting, and the Karen hairdo is a bit like the flapper bob. Perhaps Belle is just unstuck in time?
Funny, I just remembered, there was an old Judge Judy case, where parents went on a trip, teen son holds a wild party, and drunken friend eats the family goldfish.
Parents sue the drunken friend for eating the fish.
Mary Worth: She’s going to say she was “just” French kissing the fish, he’s going to believe it, and the rest of us are going to look up “spank bank” in the Urban Dictionary.
For all of next week, Wilbur consults with Mary. “I dunno, Mary, this whole thing seems fishy. I’m floundering a bit here, I’ll be honest. I don’t want to let Belle just skate on this one, but not to carp, I do feel like Dawn’s being mean to Belle without any porpoise. The whole thing just smelts. Anyway, I’m going to finish that Salmon Rushdie book you recommended, see if it clears my head.”
Never thought I’d see Uvula Porn in Mary Worth.
Oh yeah, Sunday Mary Worth quote confirmed, it’s from quiz show cheat Charles Van Doren’s public confession and not from the movie.
MW: That bookshelf right beside the fish tank. I take suspension of disbelief that Wilbur would actually take the time to sit down and read anything.
Unless it’s porn.
Those books are porn right?
JP: Seriously?? Stay tuned next week as the furniture deliver daily soliloquies. Queue Neil Diamond:
“I am”… I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
@Anonymous: Agreed, but she also does it so casually – has she been doing this before? And gotten away with it?? Just how bad are the police in Florida?!
JP: I have no experience in this matter, but has anyone ever MISSED a dorm room? Seems unlikely. I *can* say that there is not a single Army barracks that I miss.
RMMD: “You invited the Morgans??? Oh no! Have you seen the way that guy eats cake? This is gonna cost me a fortune!”
MW: The looks of Willa’s wild-eyed terror today are a perfect embodiment of the idiocy of this entire story line. Well done, June. These are almost as good as the recent squiggely-wiggelies!
@The Rambling Otter: Yeah, what was Bella’s endgame here? Killing someone’s beloved pet can be terrifying, but not if the owner’s not there to see it, and you leave no evidence. Was she going to intimidate him by vigorously denying involvement? But Wilbur’s dumb luck saves the day again.
@Needless Exposition: At least Brigman has clearly been enjoying drawing Belle’s Bat-guano-insane expressions! I’ve been a fan of her art since Power Pack and she does good stuff – I still wonder whether that clearly-a-metal-chain-not-leather wristwatch used when Belle dug at Dawn’s veganism was due to miscommunication about the script, or whether she was having fun making this insane storyline even more ridiculo
@matt w: I thought Quiz Show was really underrated.
MW – I’m disappointed that today’s Mary Worth is embellished with a quote from a contestant on a rigged quiz show. They should have used a quote from a contestant on a rigged “reality” show.
Don Abundio, translated:
“How do you like my flying car, Admiral?”
“Well, it’s certainly a marvel of technology…”
“But I’m actually more impressed with your flying butler”
MW: Still probably tastier than Wilbur’s dick.
MW: Quite the trick to remind me of not one, but two movies I’d rather be watching than reading this strip.
H&L: How many times would real-world Trixie have been killed without baby locks? Or would that just lead to countless lame jokes about how only kids can open childproof medicine bottles?
“Belle! What are you doing?!?! That’s not the swallowing we agreed on!”
The best way to expose an android is with a logical paradox. Such as, “How is it just that a man can be convicted for evading lawful arrest if he was innocent of all charges against him?”
@11 Liam: on Rex Morgan: The Toxic Taco doesn’t deliver.
@46 The Rambling Otter: They’re books on the history of mayonnaise (95%), debates on “Miracle Whip, mayo or not?” (4.9%), and “How to Raise a Happy Daughter as a Single Dad” (1%). The latter is covered with 20 years of dust.
@49 CanuckDownSouth: Belle likes her sushi ocean-fresh. None of this slicing or rice logs or anything.
I choose to believe Belle is going to make out with that fish and attempt to get a threesome going. Because she’s crazy, that’s why.
In the background of today’s Slylock Fox, Max Mouse finds out what happens to little twink mice in this particular cell block. Time will tell if he comes back for regular conjugal visits.
@The Rambling Otter:
You think domestic violence is funny? How dare you even insinuate that. It is NOT FUNNY.
@Snowflake: Oh, no no. I never insinuated it was funny. In fact I cringed personally when I typed “kills Belle”
I was merely getting towards how satisfying it would be for Wilbur to be locked away forever.
I’m looking forward to next Sunday to see which fake quotation and purple prose Mary Worth will employ to gild the crude moral of “don’t stick your dick in crazy”!
Willa’s expressions of terror seem incongruous to me with her situation of being an eternal prisoner of Wilbur. I imagine her reaction to being about to be swallowed to be more along the lines of Depth Gauge in Waterworld seeing the Mariner’s emergency flare falling into the fuel tank he lives in: “Oh, thank God!”
MW: This may actually be the most sensible part of Belle’s scheme (insofar as anything with the end goal of “keep Wilbur all to myself” can be considered sensible). 1.) Get rid of Willa. 2.) Blame Dawn for Willa’s disappearance, thus driving a wedge between her and her father. 3.) Wait until Wilbur kicks Dawn out or she leaves on her own, or arrange for Dawn to “disappear” and claim she ran out. Alas, she didn’t count on Wilbur needing to turn back because he forgot his pre-breakfast snack.
And seconding the praise on the artwork. June Bridgman is like when a classically trained British actor has a supporting role in a bad movie: it’s stupid, and you have a feeling they know it’s stupid, but by God they are committing to the bit and it’s fun to watch.
SFx: Oh, just force feed him like law enforcement officials have done to hunger strikers for decades! Either you mess up the android’s hardware and force it to break down, or the resulting trauma and possible death will prove he was human. Win-win! (And don’t tell me they’d be worried about “cruel and unusual punishment;” you just know that duck is itching to perform a little gavage on Weirdly.)
Isn’t Bella supposed to quiz Wilbur while his stutter prevents him from speaking clearly?
@Needless Exposition: #26
I could not agree more. June’s an amazing artist. IIRC she was the artist for the comic strip “Brenda Starr” (written by Mary Schmich, formerly of the Chicago Tribune) which was brilliant. I also have her two “Captain Ginger” comic books which are outstanding. “Mary Worth” needs a different *writer*.
MW: Given today’s action, and the fact that it’s Sunday, Moy could have gone with the totally unexpected plot twist, and have Willa go all biblical great fish on Belle:
Jonah 1:17 – “Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Belle. And Belle was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.”
@TheDiva: “is like when a classically trained British actor has a supporting role in a bad movie: it’s stupid, and you have a feeling they know it’s stupid, but by God they are committing to the bit and it’s fun to watch.”
I do like when that scenario is completely turned on its head, Like with Michael Caine in “The Muppet Christmas Carol” (which is a very beloved movie)
“In order to emphasize a strong contrast between himself and his Muppet co-stars, Michael Caine plays the lead role of Ebenezer Scrooge completely straight with little to no exaggerated or comedic moments. Caine himself has even said that he approached the role as if he was acting opposite members of the Royal Shakespeare Company.”
@65 TheDiva: on Slylock Fox: They should have tossed Weirdly into a lake. If he sinks, he’s a man. If he floats, he’s a duck.
@richardf8: #34
Yes!!! I have both volumes of that story and they are amazing! Brigman is truly gifted. Her ability to portray facial expressions is exceptional.
Mary Worth: Ca. 1940 swallowing goldfish was the big college fad.
“I hope you’ve learned a lesson from this, Wilbur… Next time Dawn feels uncomfortable around someone, take her seriously! They might have even worse interests than Star Trek!”
“Mary, when I said she was a geek…”
FC: Demonic Grandpa lets the seed grow in Billy’s mind. “Next visit I tell him where I hid the gun in the attic.”
C’shaft: I think Lena would have been better off if these assholes forgot her birthday entirely. You just know that their gift is something cruelly backhanded, like a Bowling for Dummies book or a commemorative plaque carved out of one of her brownies.
DT: I’m sure there are procedures for handling a ninety-five year old piece of art that’s widely considered a cultural treasure, and those procedures don’t involve a square-faced plainclothes cop just grabbing it and tossing it in an evidence locker.
Dustin: “Well, this tree was badly damaged in the storm and at risk of falling onto a nearby house, but sure, kid, we’ll leave it up so you can net five bucks next fall.”
Pluggers are innovators at being impossibly stupid about technology.
@The Rambling Otter: I’ve heard it said that Michael Caine approached his role in Muppet Christmas Carol as if the Muppets were human, and Tim Curry approached his role in Muppet Treasure Island as if he were a Muppet. Both approaches are completely valid.
@richardf8: Yes, but the newer version reciting Pale Fire by Nabakov is much superior!
@Johnny Q: YES! If that ends up being the excuse used by Belle, it will only further date this strip.
MW – “Belle! What are you doing? I’m the only one who can French kiss Willa!”
@TheDiva: @The Rambling Otter: I was going to name Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest. He’s a great actor in a silly movie, and his character is a great actor in a silly TV show.
Slylock Fox: I’m not proud that my first solution to today’s puzzle was that a robot that doesn’t eat won’t poop.
All right, I’m a little proud.
I’m also a little bit worried about that cat that seized Max through the bars of his cell. Background Cat looks like an atavist to me. He’s eaten sapient mice before, and he’ll eat mice again.
I’ve never been a Mary Worth fan but thanks to this blog I can begin to actually appreciate its lunacy. It has come a long way into this era of surreal noir but I am here for it
Slylock – The cell bars are too widely spaced to prevent anyone from escaping, but animal society has perfected the Invisible Fence Prison.
Slylock Fox: It’s morally wrong, if not always technically illegal, to taunt someone on a hunger strike with delicious food. On the other hand, if anyone knows about the ins and outs of force-feeding, it’s a duck. “Looks like this time you’re the pâté, eh, human?!” says Officer McQuacky as he ominously pushes the giant tube of grains and fat toward Weirdly’s mouth.
Mary Worth: After a Google search that will probably make me the leading suspect in several local crimes, I came across an article titled “You Can Eat Your Goldfish, But Here’s Why You Shouldn’t.” Apparently goldfish are basically small carp and are technically edible, but they have “very little meat but a lot of inedible bones, and… are often described as tasting like mud.” Swallowing them can cause illnesses that “range from food poisoning, to parasites, and more serious bacterial infections.” The article goes on to discuss the “ethical quandary” of eating goldfish,” but I’m really just happy that Wilbur’s awful girlfriend is about to get sick as hell!
9CL: Yes, when you see your spouse flapping her arms around in “wild undulations” the first thing you should think of is that she wants you to take her to bed.
MW: If you’re going to depict someone killing someone’s pet in the comics, I guess it’s better to do it in Mary Worth than in Family Circus.
@86 Anonymous: How do you feel about depicting killing someone’s pet in Pluggers rather than Mary Worth?
Slylock Fox: Donald Duck simmers with rage as laws regarding prisoner wellness require him to feed Count Weirdly. Slylock watches, pondering what the best time would be to cut the cameras and beat Weirdly with a phone book. Meanwhile, Max is sexually assaulted by a prisoner and nobody cares. Such is life.
Max looks like he’s about to have a prison collision
Crank: A nice touch is Mary’s askance look at Ed, like she knows it has been decreed by Batty that she’s dating this asshole, and she wishes she had more of a say in the matter.
DT: So after way too long attributing the speech bubbles in panel one, I moved on to panel two and spent way too long trying to work out why a secured entry would prevent the person who left the painting calling Dick. Learn to disambiguate your clauses, Curtis!
PV: Okay, is it just me or is Domina Cassia meant to look like the Spanish Infantia from The Black Adder, as played by Miriam Margoloyes?
@Daisy: Yeah, Moy’s writing has pretty much devolved into “How can I insert Wilbur into this situation when he’s got no place in this story?” Like that random cameo during the Keith Hillend story where he’s smugly smiling as he’s holding a burger as if to say “Do you miss me?”
@ectojazzmage: Slylock should be wondering why Max has PTSD episodes when they’re interviewing prisoners rather than finding ways to frame Cassandra Cat.
Wilbur likes the view in the second to the last panel. Minus a terrified Willa of course.
@93 Copperhead: And no teeth.
MW: This being a comic in a family newspaper, you have to read between the lines to understand the metaphor of Belle’s sexy, sexy mouth surrounding and swallowing Wilbur’s tiny, tiny cock.
You’d think Weirdly made a death ray that wiped out an entire city based on that duck’s tone. On the other hand, not gonna lie, I’d like to see him in charge a division responsible for taking down “It’s just a prank, bro!” video creators.
***
Of all the possible ways to find out if the Weirdly in the cell is an android or not, Slylock is going with one that takes more than two minutes. Why is he in charge of all the criminal investigations again?
***
The look of horror on Willa’s face is some of the most incredible art seen in comics in years. Do goldfish get PTSD but forget why a minute later?
@Maude R. Fawker: I don’t think any sane person has the stomach to visualize the metaphor.
@MKay: Nice uvula, by the way.
This pickup line works exactly as well in the real world as you might expect.
@Astroboy: Never thought I’d see Uvula Porn in Mary Worth.
“It’ll behoove ya, to care for your uvula.” — SNL 5/29/1976
@Needless Exposition: I don’t think any sane person has the stomach to visualize the metaphor.
“I Visualize the Metaphors So You Don’t Have To.™ “
Okay, no one’s mentioned A Fish Called Wanda in their Mary Worth comments?? I appreciated the reference and everyone should watch it tonight.
@Hibbleton: I’m torn between “ha ha!” and “ewwwww.”
@Banana Jr. 6000: A great performance in a classic comedy.
Rickman:”What’s it’s motivation?”
Allen:”It’s a rock!”
BF: That’s the old boloney! NO ONE has ever looked at Blonde Friend and thought “she looks so great!” I guess I have to start calling her “Bottle Blonde Friend” now.
(Fuck off. That’s how RUBE GOLDBERG spelled it.)
@Dan: @Rachel: Dan did.
MW: Willa, Willa, Willa! What an incredible performance you’ve put in the past few days! The doubt, betrayal, the danger, the violation of personal space, the horror– you captured it all.
Whether or not your character survives, you deserve a retreat followed by buzz for an Oscar. Sid owes you both. Congratulations!
MW:
“Oh, Wilbie, hon!” Belle drops the fish in shock. “It’s not what you think! We were just making out!”
“You’re into that too?” Wilbur asks, a smile growing on his face.
Then they start kissing while Willa suffocates on the carpet.
@matt w: Oh, um, sometimes I don’t notice the post title before I comment.
Mary Worth – It’s a good thing that Wilbur didn’t have a pet hamster or guinea pig. We’d be getting flashbacks to V.
Why didn’t Belle flush the fish down the toilet? That would eliminate the revolting part of doing away with Willa. Oh, that’s right – Belle is cray cray.
I know of the Charles Van Doren scandal from actually watching the TV show Twenty-One and then hearing about the scandal as it happened. My family watched it every week, and my grandmother always said that the contestants had the answers. The contestant I most remember was a woman named (I think) Elfreda Von Nardoff, who had a long winning stteak.
FC – I had a premonition that Dead Grandpa would make an appearance, but I thought he would be changing the weather or something like that, not this terrifying, depressing shit.
Prince Valiant – I seriously love this artwork.
Rex Morgan – I was wrong. I was sure that the diner would be catering the wedding, not Jordan Like The Country. It’s unbelievable that they’ll pass up homemade grub for elite cuisine. They might serve quiche! Wanda must think that she can’t wear an apron over her wedding dress.
Looks Good On Paper – No. Drunk driving is never funny.
@matt w:
#40. MW: indeed, Belle IS unstuck in time. You’ve noticed “Mara Llava” is 404 from Seattle Times– rash acts like that have consequences. Is ML active anywhere else?
Anyway did you know that the 1920s trend of goldfish swallowing started on a bet? Perhaps Belle is just doing a Mr. Beast video, which would also explain “slept with Wilbur.”
@Maude R. Fawker:
#95. “Small ones are sweeter.”. That’s what Belle tells all the wee ones.
@Schroduck: I agree. Brigman is a talented artist.
@The Rambling Otter: I’d love to hear what Judge Judy said about that.
@Voshkod: Belle ate the fish just for the halibut. Ono!
@matt w: Undergraduate goldfish-swallowing was invented by Lothrop Withington, Jr? If only he’d been called Lothrop Withington III, he would have achieved the infamous “Harvard Trifecta.”
My freshman roommates were named “Ed Nowicki,” “Dean Chang,” and “Michel Chaouli.” This is less the difference between Harvard and Yale then the difference between 1939 and 1978.
MW: Clearly Belle planned to kill and eat Dawnie, which would have been horrific but perhaps interesting depending on the definition.
@The Rambling Otter:
Rimshot
@pugfuggly:
MW-I would say Wilbur did get aroused.
@Baja Gaijin: Isn’t every Pluggers comic about a dying animal?
@Lauralot:
Willa flops over hoping to get crushed.
@Rachel: I’m so glad someone finally mentioned it. Now I just wish the strip had gone all in with Wilbur tied up with a ketchup-tinged chip up his nose.
MW: I’m tellin’ ya, folks – this is the day that A Star Is Born!! Hopefully not the opposite. You can’t believe the buzz that Willa is gettin’ for this incredible performance. Have you ever seen such horror, yet such courage in facing the unthinkable? Willa is making it *real* for the audience… this could be any of us, coming to terms with our mortality. Her range of emotions is just breath-taking as we share her struggle to cling to life…
@Activist: You are so right! Willa can start planning her outfit for when she
flopssashays down the Red Carpet!———-
Intern, I think it’s time to put The Plan into action – I’m worried that we haven’t seen any post from Willa today. Of course she still may be heavily involved with doing the scene. But it’s not like her to keep us hanging. What? You think something’s *fishy*? I’ve told you time and time again to lose that cliché.
@The Rambling Otter, @Rachel: I haven’t seen the movie because I’m too squeamish, but I’m pretty sure @Hobbes Fan was also referencing it.
We love to be oblique around here!
@Peanut Gallery: Yeah, those old quiz shows always weirded ME out, too.
PV: Next week, Cassia’s story: How she got so goddamed fat.
Ah yes, fish and chips, served raw and wriggling and without the nasty chips. Welcome to the Smeagol school of cooking! Now, what’s this about you using fancy poisons on someone you could just strangle?
For the record, catching a goldfish by hand is actually pretty hard unless there’s something wrong with it. We never did find out why the other one died, did we? But I do see that tank has no filter on it. :(
Swallowing a goldfish alive is essentially killing it by drowning it in your vomit. It will be poisoned as the stomach contents get into the bloodstream through the gills.
@Rachel: “Oh, no, it’s w-w-w-w-w-Wilbur coming to w-w-w-w-waste me!”
SFx – Slylock will sift through the prisoner’s shit each day for traces of nuts, bolts and metal shavings. It’s a living….
MW – Bitches be crazy.
Rick James
Adios Amigos, DJ.