Young love and/or kerchiefs
Post Content
Dustin, 5/9/25
It’s a little weird writing a blog about the relatively small world of the syndicated newspaper comics, because I know for sure that many of comics creators read my little posts but it’s not always clear which ones do, so when a strip makes a change that could be interpreted as being in response to my criticism my first reaction is to become slightly drunk with power. Like for instance, I’ve complained for years that the Dustin strips about the dating life of its Millennial Zoomer characters all take place in fern bars and don’t involve dating apps at all; today’s strip, I’d like to imagine, is the result of the Dustin team finally saying “FINE, we’ll do a dating strip that involves the apps, that’ll shut him up. The kids don’t put their pictures on dating apps, do they? That would be insane.”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/25
So it turns out that Kelly did not break up with Niki before starting to date a tall boy she met at college, and once she figured out her mother was no longer in mortal danger she went over to the garage where Niki works to break the news to him, and his reaction was pretty chill, all things considered. Today we learn why: seems like he’s got a new gal himself, with a kerchief! Is “Big Sandy” one of Glenwood’s wholly disproportionate number of retro musical acts? Are these two young people dabbling in the exciting rockabilly lifestyle? Is god-damned Buck involved, somehow? Reload joshreads dot com non-stop for further developments!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/9/25
Jesus Christ, what is this lady standing on? Is it her face? Is it more feet? None of the potential answers are good!
130 replies to “Young love and/or kerchiefs”
“Are we still on for Big Sandy at Lou’s this weekend? We’ll go once you’ve fixed that old jalopy. Afterwards we can head over to Pop’s for a chocolate milkshake at the soda fountain with our pals. This will be a swell time, daddy-o! Once this night is over, we can move forward a few years in our private cosplay. I can’t wait to get rid of this kerchief and put my hair in a stereotypical 1960s do!”
RMMD: So Niki is cheating on Kelly with Rosie the Riveter, while Kelly is cheating on Niki with…I don’t know, Goth Harpo Marx? The real question here is how Terry Beatty manages his steadfast devotion to banality in every single plot.
FC-“Miss Johnson wants to talk to you. Said something about ‘D’s.”
MW-“Oh who am I kidding, Dawn. This is your father. Wave any kind of tail in his face and he forgets about you completely.”
Luann-“Mrs. Horner, you’re trying to seduce me?”
RMMD: It’s “Big Sandy.” You might want to fix that.
Dustin: Are those two shaded figures in the back talking to people off-panel on either side, or did they take one look at each other, say, “Oh, hell no!” and walk away as quickly as possible? This could all have been prevented if dating apps would just feature pictures.
MW: Belle has been here a few weeks?! We’ve seen three days of her. Day One: Her Arrival/Spilling Soy Sauce/Crashing the Stage at Karaoke/Poisoned Tea. Day Two: Poisoned Bolognese. Day Three: Swinging Around Knives a la the Swedish Chef.
How has it been weeks?! Wasn’t she supposed to have a demanding job at Mega Corp? Does she not have a house/apartment/bills that need paying/a lawn that needs maintenance/any worldly obligations? Wilbur hasn’t once questioned how long she’s staying? Am I supposed to believe that he’s been obliviously foiling her murder attempts on a daily basis for three weeks?
Also, this makes Wilbur’s “just give her a chance!” sniveling all the more galling.
RMMD:
“Hey, Niki — who were you talking to just now?”
“Oh — nobody. Nothing to worry about — a small rotary cutting tool that I use on vehicles just consumed her!”
“No. Don’t say it, Niki.”
“Yep. A ‘car burr‘ ate her!”
MW: Yes, she did tell her father, Mary, and he couldn’t give a good goddam that she’s distressed. He basically told her to shut up and let him have his sexy time. Advice fail. Want to try again?
Boy I can’t wait for more panels of Buck talking on the phone, drawn from below.
MW: Mary, don’t lie directly to Dawn’s face like that.
RMMD: These strips are so unrealistic. Niki thinking far enough in advance to reserve a table? And doing it successfully? Preposterous.
RMMD: Niki’s new gal is named Rosie. He finds her riveting.
RMMD:
“So are we still on for seeing Big Sandy at Lou’s this weekend?”
“Unfortunately, no — he had to cancel because of an injury he got when he was engaging in rasslin’ horseplay with a fellow roots country performer who likes to hang around these parts.”
“Really? What happened?”
“He fell off Mud Mountain!”
“We both cheated, so it’s fine” would be a psychotic take, but remember that these people are teenagers with not fully developed brains, not, despite what “Rex Morgan MD” art shows, thirty-years old with a mortgage
Niki. Don’t say “Nobody. Nothing to worry about.” “My ex” is less suspicious. “My girlfriend who I just had sex with” is less suspicious.
Dustin: I’m actually really tickled by the idea of a text-based dating app that people join because they’re ‘not shallow’, right up until the point that they meet their worst-case-scenario match (the worst being Dustin, obviously)
RMMD If communism had ever taken hold in America, I’m pretty sure this is what they propaganda posters would look like.
MGG It’s funny because all those face-lifts have given Mrs Abbot an unquenchable thirst for human flesh to the point that she’s consuming them whole. Ok maybe ‘funny’ is not the right word.
Dustin: She may say she’s not attracted to him, but her breasts certainly seem to be. They’re stretching closer to him with each panel.
MG&G: A married Abbot in a Mother Goose take would indeed be shocking. Mrs. Abbot is a monstrosity because her husband has violated his office and angered God.
Luann: “Phil spent the whole meal insulting you. Isn’t he lovely?”
@Bob Tice: I always appreciate these.
“Reasonable doubt”? This might the girl you’re destined for, Dustin! She’s an asshole lawyer who belittles you, just like your father!
RMMD:
@Chance:
If Niki were to utter an imprecation about the young lady’s tonsorial haberdashery over a noon repast at Lou’s, would that be a luncheonette tourniquet etiquette epithet?
Dustin: This is why I don’t read Dustin. I can’t buy that this incredibly vanilla person is considered so ugly and undateable. Nor can I buy his asshole father being “relatable.”
MW: As if Dawn didn’t get enough gaslighting from Wilbur, Mary proceeds to charbroil her with the most hilarious line from her yet. She knows what Wilbur is like and it’s precisely why we can only see silhouettes because she’s trying so hard not to laugh at Dawn.
RMMD: First we get Bargain Bin Buddy Holly and now Kelly looks like she’s stepped out of a 1940s poster encouraging women to work while the men are fighting overseas. Does…Does Beatty know what century it is?
@matt w:
Thank you, Matt. A pun is often described as “the lowest form of humor,” so it suits me perfectly!
Luann: “I can be vibrant and fun.” Once again I say, OBJECTION! Facts not in evidence!!!
JP: “Marie! It’s so good to see you! My bags are in my dorm room, dash up and grab them then take them to the airport, will you? Reena and I are going to be making a quick getaway the second those diplomas are in our hands. Also, pick up two coffees (you still remember how I like them, right?) and some thai food that we can eat on the way. You don’t mind coming with us to Norway, do you? We’ll need someone to handle cleaning and laundry while we’re sightseeing and ‘working’!”
Lady, the two of you have the exact same face except you’re wearing lipstick. Let’s not throw stones here.
Opinion-makers have written thousands of editorials complaining about education polarisation and how blue-collar and university graduate Americans should understand each other and interact more etc. But “Rex Morgan MD” takes the bold stance that maybe if you have different values, lifestyle and job perspectives, you should stick with people similar to you and just kindly break relations with those you have nothing in common anymore — just be cordial! I like this bold take, “Rex Morgan MD”, may I subscribe to your Substack?
RMMD: In the all’s well that ends well department, Niki and his new gal are both better looking than Kelly and her new beau. Thus, balance is restored to the comics universe.
RMMD: Called it days ago. Niki is already dating a far more attractive co-worker. The only thing I got wrong was her coveralls unbuttoned to expose some cleavage. Wishful thinking on my part.
Dustin: Dustin’s date showed up in skin-tight leather, piercings and blood-red lipstick, and literally her opening line was to insult him. I’m pretty sure Dustin has hired this woman online to provide a… very specific kind of service. Or his dad, in their never-ending game of Freudian Oedipal horror, set his son up on a date with a humiliatrix as a prank. Perhaps in revenge for that time Dustin made fun of his cuckolding.
Also Dustin: Look at that man in the background. Goatee? Boater cap? Circular glasses? Good god, has Dustin taken this woman to a 1920s-themed hipster bar? He deserves all the humiliation he gets.
Phantom: Hello, I’m collecting corpses for charity. Mind if I shoot you for a donation?
Dustin prefers to use the dating apps that don’t use photos, so as not to draw attention to the fact that he only owns one shirt. Dustin also thinks that ordering carrot juice at a bar makes a good first impression.
Remember when Dawn decided to forsake her presumably blue blooded mother to go back to Santa Royale because she thinks her dad is the better parent? After getting back, she’s been through an emotionally abusive relationship that had more flags than a 4th of July parade and now she’s being menaced by her dad’s latest relationship while Wilbur has done nothing but gaslight her and downplay her issues. It hasn’t occurred to her that she’s not ten years old and doesn’t have to put up with this nonsense because unless she’s trying to get into some strange man’s pants, Dawn acts like a prepubescent child who has an unhealthy attachment to her father.
I hope buyer’s remorse bites Dawn harder than her latest case of crabs.
GT: Well, he’s passed the first test. He noticed that we secretly replaced the Bloody Mary he normally drinks on the sideline with ketchup.
@Schroduck: Oh yeah. Dustin’s dad definitely bullied one of the junior associates at his law firm into humiliating his son. The “reasonable doubt” line is a dead giveaway.
MW: If Belle has been around for a few weeks and Mary knows (you know she knows) and hasn’t found a way to meet her, what’s up with that? She can’t be THAT busy making vegan ricotta.
RMMD: You go, Niki! I didn’t give you enough credit for craftiness!
Big Sandy is a real contemporary Western Swing musician. He’s actually very, very good. go check him out
Dustin: Twenty some years ago Ed Kudlick took a case pro bono, or should we say pro boner, since the female client could only pay him with sexual services. You just dodged a bullet, Dustin. That’s your half-sister.
MG&G: Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘sit on my face’.
RMMD: “I reserved us a TABLE!” What about chairs, grease monkey?
Drunk with power? Don’t make me laugh. You’re really a little, little man.
Dustin the Wind: “Your dating app said you were HANDSOME! Oh well. Why would an app lie to a person?”
@MKay: The last time we saw Mary, she was on her laptop’s word processor doing Wilbur’s job for him since he’s been so busy playing simp for Belle. I refuse to believe, however, that an advice column that was in danger of being canceled at one point would suddenly have so much work coming in that it’s keeping Mary tethered to her laptop.
MW: As more and more people learn of Belle’s existence and her full name, I have to ask, is the colloquialism “Bats in your Belfry” not a thing in Mary Worth land? It can’t be, right? Because SOMEONE would say something about Belle’s name…
Granting the premise that it isn’t, does this mean other colloquial phrases aren’t in the Charterstone verbiage? Have I wasted too much time thinking about this?? (yes)
RMMD: “Oh – – nobody. Nothing to worry about. Nosiree. No one that might trigger your irrational jealousy or threaten your suffocating neediness. Certainly not an ex-girlfriend that I kept secret from you. Nothing to see here.”
GT: Wow, Coach (Ex-)Mrs. Thorp couldn’t look any uglier if you beat her with a soccer boot. The sight of her mug caused Coach Gerads to puke up blood, which isn’t easy since he sees his own mug in the mirror every day.
JP: “Marie! What a surprise. I thought graduation was going to be . . . um, more exclusive. Are all the other maids and butlers allowed in too?”
Dustin: Looks more like a Goth bar, or she’s a snazzy cat burglar with that skintight jumpsuit. Meooow
RMMD: I wouldn’t say that Beatty is losing his skills… but when you’re getting too lazy to draw backgrounds and ends up just being a close-up of the characters faces, is not a good sign.
I mean, sure… in APT 3-G’s final years, The Tribeca Grill looked like the inside of someone’s apartment, but it was still a background. The artist at least TRIED.
Mother Goose and Grimm: -screams-
Dustin: I got nothing this morning. So, you know, the same as Dustin. Hiyooo [Waves small white flag lethargically, knowing that the vast machinery of Daily Comic will grind on regardless of mere mortals]
Also Dustin: Speaking of body horror, as who does not so early in the morning, I am always fascinated by the breasts of this strip hanging out at belly level. Has the bra not been invented in Dustin’s world? Have all the women had the opposite of a breast lift? Are they feeding a race of dwarves? Are all the males just a bunch of man-babies? Okay, we might be on to something there…
MW: “Look, Dawn, we must embrace opportunities for change and . . . uhhhh . . . look into ourselves . . . or is it outside of ourselves? No matter, each day brings a new opportunity for growth. The challenges we seek and those that seek us are . . . umm . . . challenges. Let not a borrower nor lender be. And brush after every meal. That’s all I got.”
@astroboy: Niki’s new gal is named Rosie. He finds her riveting.
—
And he’s really going to drill her.
DT: Pursuing with caution in the Traciverse means causing no more than one car pileup and single-digit pedestrian fatalities, right?
GT: I don’t know what’s uglier, the artwork or Milford’s attitude to student-on-coach assault as long as it’s from another school. Also, I’m sure the spitting is connected to the whole orange-versus-red sports drink thing yesterday. Probably supposed to make us think this Designated Villain is a prissy jerk, but he really can’t take the food colouring / additives / artificial flavour of the wrong one! He’s trying to make do and not be a bother to his assistant, but his body rebels!
FC: A teacher grading down from a standard “A” for how-sweet-it’s-for-Mom because the kid couldn’t be bothered to try? More menacing that anything recent in DtM.
MG&G – If my feet were sticking out of my face, I would not see a pharmacist; I’d go straight to the ER.
I could see a dating app without pictures, with the stated goal of emphasising language mastery to appeal to sapiosexuals. The problem is, sapiosexuals don’t exist
Dustin:
“I want you to know that no less an authority than The Vatican’s daily, L’Osservatore Romano, has declared me to be handsome!”
“Oh, so that’s the meaning of ‘papal bull,’ is it?”
Dustin – Luckily for Dustin the standard is “proof beyond a reasonable doubt”, so the jury of his peer is still out on whether he’s a liar. If he’s lucky he can reach a settlement (where his date settles for him).
Am I mixing my legal metaphors? Yes, but not nearly as much as his date will have to have mixed drinks to settle for him over spending another Friday night alone scrolling Netflix.
Rex Morgan, MD – Roots rock to rockabilly? Whoever gave Terry Beatty Red Morgan, MD a gift Spotify subscription better feel okay with what he does to subgenres of music with small, but dedicate fan bases.
Mother Goose and Grimm – It’s a lot easier to understand when you realize the doctors’ name tag says Rx, and this isn’t an actual patient he’s seeing before himself, but a hallucination caused by his abuse of prescription drugs.
Luann:
Am I the only one who read Bernice’s comments as, “With a vibrator, I can be fun . . . in pubic.”?
Mother Goose and Grim: That’s clearly a footlift, not a facelift. It’s not funny, just weird, but that’s the strip they drew. Trying to create a punchline based on an alternate version of the strip really doesn’t work for me.
The hipsters of Rex Morgan, M.D.‘s Glenwood must listen to Taylor Swift and dress like they’d fit in with 2025 suburban America. “Pfff! All the sheep around here go with the flock and are into Big Sandy and Mud Mountain Murphy, but have you heard The Tortured Poets Department? You HAVE to listen to it on Spotify for the full aural experience!”
Dustin: Ummm… Lovetastic? Tribal? There *are* dating apps that either blur or block photos for at least an initial period to go for “deeper” compatibility. So they got impatient and set up a casual date in under 72hrs…
I didn’t know where I was going with that so I Googled where Rex Morgan takes place and the AI gave me this:
No. The fictional town is Glenwood you stupid piece of bad tech that nobody asked for.
So Niki is dating Florence Henderson’s grand daughter?
MG&G: Mike Peters is 82 years old, and probably quite wealthy from his years of fame and influence in the comic business.
This is not what I had in mind when I think of “Elder-Rich Horror”
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Wait, a girlfriend with a kerchief? Where. . . ? Oh, now I see it! And I see a name tag, and a wrench, and. . . whelp, that’s about it.
Do “Dustin” have any incel cult following? Because it’s weird that a real woman would immediately dismiss such an average person as Dustin for lacking a chad physique! At least give him an hour to get know his terrible personality!
Dustin: This is the same lady that was trying to trick her husband earlier. I guess he’s out on another business trip?
MG&G: This is why you don’t let *any* Cronenberg guest write your strip.
My knee-jerk, lizard-brain response to today’s Dustin: Dating apps (and dating sites) have been with us since at least 2001 (when I started using them). Everybody knows they have pictures of the prospective dates! That’s the WHOLE POINT!
My reasoned response to today’s Dustin, upon reflection: Dustin’s date burned him WITH HIS OWN WORDS! That’ll teach him to reach so far out of his league! 10/10, no notes.
Dustin – Hey – I got me some hands, and I know how to use ‘em….
RMMD – Crips…Bloods…Pink Ladies…it’s a dangerous world in 2025….
MG&G – Abbott & Costello on the Island of Dr. Moreau….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD – The only way this makes any sense is if that car he’s working on is a ’57 Chevy with huge tail fins.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I really enjoy showing off our offices… visitors are usually quite impressed”
“By all the productivity?”
“Heck, no…”
“By our office-themed floor show!”
MW: I see that others have noted the astonishingly long time frame for Belle’s visit. This might be due to Dawn not really understanding the passage of time, or Belle is extremely incompetent in her serial killing.
FC: Still better than Jeffy’s card. His teacher threw it away before Jeffy could inflict it on Thel.
@Needless Exposition: I actually can buy that Dustin would be considered undateable. Online dating apps have created a lot of unrealistic expectations on the part of both men and women, and from personal experience as an at least okay-looking and healthy guy (5’11”, 180 lbs), I can tell you that my luck has been miserable.
Rex Morgan – Speaking of facelifts, is that a young Sally Fields we see in the garage? She’s cute. A little TOO cute. It’s not a competition, but Niki absolutely wins this one.
Dustin: As other Mudges have pointed out the problem may not be Dustin’s looks but the fact he owns only one set of clothes and every woman in town knows it. That rugby shirt of his must smell worse than Marty Moon’s denim coat.
Dustin: You should talk, lady. You look more like me than my own sister.
GT: Mimi’s trying to outdo Buck Wise’s talking on his phone upshot in the ugly department.
Luann: “I can be vibrant. I just need to reach into the nightstand…” Also, “Luann’s usually into vibrant types who like to have fun.” {Citation needed}
CS: Pam really needs to negotiate for better lines.
9CL: This is taking place at the Burber house?!? Setting this in the Void led me to believe it was a public restroom.
I had become more and more convinced that my patient was something less – or perhaps something more – than human, but my horror was uncontained as she lifted her veil. Oh god. The callouses. The bunions. The warts, the feet, no face but feet, feet for a face, and in the arch of her left face foot a long scar smiled, revealing toenail teeth. I swallowed, pushing the vomit back down my throat, and said ‘I think you need to see a podiatrist, not an ENT, Mrs. Abbot. I can write you a referral.” Her right foot nodded and she turned and walked out – on what feet, I was no longer certain.
Still, I charged her a thirty dollar co-pay.
– The Feet in the Face, H.P. Lovecraft
Rex Morgan: “Going to Lou’s to see Big Sandy” sounds vaguely mob-related. Especially when combined with a job as a mechanic. What if Niki joins the mob as a goodfella? What if it ropes in Rex and he gets blackmailed to be a mob doctor? What if interesting and bonkers Rex Morgan plot twists happened in the strip instead of just in my brain?
@The Rambling Otter: She’s auditioning for a reboot of To Catch a Thief. . .
Look, Unnamed Date Lady, you clearly ate an entire lemon wedge garnish, peel and all, between panel 1 and panel 2, so maybe stop being so judgmental, give Dustin some time, and grow to hate him for what’s inside like everyone else does.
RMMD: Don’t get too involved here, Niki. She’s gonna dump you for Ricky Ricardo.
RMMD — Nikki and New Girl are going to be mighty disappointed when Big Sandy cancels and the venue hires Mud Mountain Murphy to fill in.
Crock: Even on the verge of execution, a man’s gonna brag about the size of his….
RMMD: I know Beatty makes it easy to make fun, but it’s not “Big Sal,” it’s “Big Sandy,” he’s real, and his show is great. I’ve seen him at least a half dozen times.
I used to play a lot of rockabilly (I still do, but I used to too) and a lot of rockabilly gals wear kerchiefs. It’s that whole retro thing. Personally, I think it’s super-cute—but I’m into that scene.
@Old School Allie Cat:
She knows her way around a car, while Travis is a dork who doesn’t know to stay in the car.
Dustin: I have several questions. Isn’t this the same woman that Dustin met on Sunday that was clearly cheating on her husband? What sort of dating app doesn’t have pictures? Why would you agree to a date you when you don’t know what they look like? What exactly about Dustin makes him so physically repulsive, even though he looks just like a completely average guy? Why is this strip (and its creators) still allowed to exist?
Dustin: Dustin’s inability to attract a woman even long enough for her to figure out what an awful person he is makes a lot more sense when you see the strip as something written by middle-aged men who have been confronted with the fact that they’re no longer attractive to young, beautiful women and have decided this is the fault of the women for having shallow judgement and impossibly high standards.
RMMD: Caaaaaalled it. Now the only question is if Kelly will get irrationally angry at being dumped before she could dump Niki. (And by the way, what male-presenting person goes by “Niki”? “Nick” is pretty typical, and “Nicky” works for kids and gangsters, but “Niki” feels more like a moniker for the type of woman who still dots her i’s with little hearts.)
MG&G: I didn’t know Quentin Tarantino had a side business in plastic surgery.
@Brendan Skwire, RxMD: Does Big Sandy play “Tarzana Nights” or “Muddy Boots”? Hmmm? How can you say his show is so great when he doesn’t play “Tarzana Nights” or “Muddy Boots”?
RMMD: Big Sandy is backed up on doghouse bass by his little sister, Pecan Sandy.
FG: Wow, we get the Unmasking of the Margrave in ONE WEEK. If this was JP or Phantom it would be stretched out till Halloween. —BTW, I’m changing my vote. The Margrave is going to be Brother Leader Outlaw Lead Guitarist from Quicksilver Messenger Service, and Dale’s gonna have to whip his ass all over again.
GA: I hear there’s less professional competition in Hootin’ Holler lately.
CS: Flamethrower? Usually “restraining order” is a phrase I trot out for drama strips, but I’ll make an exception.
C’shaft: Now it all makes sense: Crankshaft gardens, carefully tending and nurturing growing things, just so he can have the pleasure of watching it all go up in flames.
DT: Maybe follow the damn thing? Jesus, what do they teach you guys in those fancy training facilities our tax dollars go towards?
Luann: Yeah, we’ve all seen how vibrant and fun you are when you’re hanging out with Luann in her bedroom. Is this like the guy in Mystery Men who can only be invisible if nobody’s looking?
MW: A few weeks? Like, I know the whole “working for Megacorp” thing is probably a lie and the Westons are idiots, but surely Belle would have concocted some explanation for why she can be away from her office for such a long time. Like maybe she claims to be working remotely, but all her time on her laptop is spent searching things like “most toxic household cleaners” and “highest cliffs near Santa Royale.”
Dustin: I’m waiting for the ultimate humiliation, Dustin gets turned down by a hooker.
@Ukulele Ike, FLASH! AAAAAAAAAA!: Rene Belusso.
@Yesyouar: Sick burn, dude!
MW: “Belle Batsfrey?” Really? I must have missed it when this strip became Dick Tracy.
FG:
The Margrave pulls down his hood.
Dale: Hmm, still doesn’t ring a bell.
Margrave: Then let me pull down my pants.
Dale remembers.
@Bob Tice: I vote for this as comment of the week!
MW: You know, I didn’t expect to hate Mary Worth‘s slide into deliberate camp over the past few years as much as I do. What’s the fun in making fun of something that tries to be in on the joke? Plus the sincere attempts at humor are really bad. Please just go back to trying to tell normal stories.
MW: For some reason every time I read “Belle Batsfrey,” I start hearing Cat’s in the Cradle in my head.
And the bat’s in the belfry and the silver spoon…
Rex Morgan: So Niki and his gal pal are employed in the exciting world of auto repair. Their only problem is sexist customers who say, “Wait, I don’t want some woman working on my car!” But then they see that their only other option is dumb-blonde Niki, and suddenly it’s “Y’know what, at least she’s wearing an old-timey kerchief — let’s give the little lady a chance!”
@Ukulele Ike: #85: I was thinking Brother Charisma Sojas too but if Dale can whip his ass how could he beat Flash AND Bok at the same time? It was previously mentioned that the Margrave could anticipate their every move, meaning he’s either fought Bok before or watched him fight, possibly at the jail master’s underground prison fight club.
Dustin: I’ve never understood, other than to maintain a running gag, why average-looking Dustin is considered so physically repulsive by every woman in town. Fitch at least has the excuse that he’s fat, dumb, and ugly.
RMMD – What’s with her hairstyle? Is Nikki dating a youthful-looking cougar? Then again, that way of wearing a headband went out with the 60’s, so maybe we’re finally getting the Rex Morgan/ Zombie College crossover so many of us have been pining for (Ok, me). Regardless, it’s a safe bet she’s naked under that coverall; whether shedding it shows flesh or a skeleton is still up for grabs.
Rex Morgan – The children in this strip look like middle aged midgets, and the teenagers are characters from Happy Days, only middle aged. If anyone wondered what Pinky Tuscadero looked like at age forty, here’s your answer.
Mary Worth – Mary is so busy churning out those platitudes for Ask Wendy that she doesn’t have time to read her own strip. Yes, Dawn tried to talk to her father, but he was thinking with Little Wilbie and dismissed her concerns.
FC – Grading a child’s Mother’s Day card? Wow, that’s cold. Those projects are supposed to be fun and are intended to make something sweet for Mom to treasure. Of course, Thel will be so sloshed that she won’t even notice the effort.
Frazz – Why is he bent out of shape over a homework assignment he won’t bother to do?
@taig: Actually, it also seems to be the same girl who shot him down on May Day. Out there, somewhere, there’s a pointy-nosed woman with dark hair with bangs and a ponytail who somehow became the model for Kelley and Parker’s idea of the unattainable woman.
Big Sandy is to Large Levi what Xena is to Hercules. Except presumably without being a lesbian icon. This is still Glenwood, after all.
@Jack: yes, this. Big Sandy is great
@Guillermo el chiclero: “If Dale can whip his ass how could he beat Flash AND Bok at the same time?”
Kiran magic!!!
Henceforth, Kiran magic is my answer to EVERYTHING.
@Phantom Phan: Shelly Duvall?
MW: how long before the Criminal Minds unit of the FBI tracks down the Heh Heh Killer?
@Tom: An easy summary of the online dating experience are people whose expectations are far higher than their reality. They want to get lobster and filet mignon when all they can afford is catfish and meatloaf.
@taig: For someone who’s so adamant about killing Dawn, Belle is being way too tame by only going for tampering with the food and drinks while Dawn is awake instead of just smothering her in her sleep or causing an overdose or throwing a hair dryer in her shower. And of course she’s taking the stupidest route by making sure that she’s the one known for making the food.
Belle isn’t just a bad serial killer; she’s a moron who wants to get caught.
Big Sandy is a real band. https://www.bigsandy.net/
Crank: No, Pam, you are absolutely not the only person to see the upcoming disaster of giving your father a new outlet for his pyromania. Dare you be the only person — ever! — to actually do something about it?
Dustin: In the interest of saying something nice, the fact they’ve not just moved the “camera” in the final panel, but gone for a three-quarter view rather than the same profiles but reversed, is kind of neat. It’s more effort than I usually see in three panels of the same scene, and much more effort than I’d expect anyone to put into freaking Dustin.
JP: “I assumed you’d just stopped existing when you weren’t employed by us any more!”
MW: “Yes, he told me I was imagining it and he was too happy with Belle to care about what I thought.”
“Oh. Well … um, you know your father and his … his endearing qui… Yeah, even I can’t keep that line up any more. Just get out, Dawn. Get out as fast as you can. The rest of us are trapped in Charterstone, but maybe you can still make it!”
OTF: Oh, good grief, I thought that by having the Mars mission finally happen in Fastrack, Holbrook was going to fix the time discontinuity he’d established for no particular reason. But by setting out that it’s still going to be “years” before the thing that happened in Safe Havens in twenty-freaking-eighteen happens here, he’s actually making it worse!
Pluggers: Since I’m sure I read somwhere that “secret decoder rings” weren’t actually a thing (you got secret decoder discs and secret compartment rings), and even if they did, that plain gold band clearly isn’t one, I guess this is another for the “Pluggers have dementia” file.
(Wait … “plain gold band”? Ohh, maybe he means the secret code ring that his old friend George Goosefeather was given by a Mountie, back in the days when Mark Trail was batshit insane in a good way.)
S4th: I’m glad Hil’s got someone who worries about her when she’s suffering disssociative hallucinations, because, as we learned on the New York trip, her parents sure don’t!
RMMD – “Nobody special. Except… remember when I gave you the clap? Well, guess who that was!?”
@Flask Joe: Cue the nostril cam.
@D: Buck’s most attractive features.
MW: Belle is a participant in the Great Orlando Megacorp Scavenger Hunt of 2025. It’s a tried and true motivator for office initiative!
Number 7 on her list: “Murder Adult Daughter of California Dweeb.”
@Horace Broon: Well, you just keep strengthening my theory of Charterstone being on par with the Overlook and the house from The Amityville Horror.
@Rick Dyer: I sometimes wonder if payola is involved in these things. Like, does Beatty contact Big Sandy and say “Yeah, you’ve been named in Rex Morgan as a band that Niki likes. What’s it worth to you not to actually appear in the strip as a band that Niki likes?”
REX MORGAN M.D.: Ok people, yesterday I “joked” about how all Rex Morgan M.D, pilots are resolved with a trip to the local hokny-tonk to see C-list roots country has-beens. You may now bask in my amazing gift for clairvoyance.
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): Anyway my next psychic prediction will be the Mary Worth franchise suing this strip for plagiarizing storylines for a third time (We already had the “Jerk Falls Off a Cruise Ship” and “Stalker Who Can’t Take ‘No’ for an Answer” swipes. (Just saying don’t be surprised by the winter 2026 plotline that introduces a woman named “Shelly” advising “Donna” on how to deal with her father’s new psychotic girlfriend.)
@2+2=7: The scenario you present in your second comment makes me think it’s a lost Twin Peaks plot.
This woman has now seen Dustin in person and still isn’t certain whether he’s handsome or not. I’m guessing she did see a photo of him but has no way to tell, and her doubt is entirely based on social cues, like maybe how he’s drinking chocolate milk. She simply doesn’t know what handsome looks like! This is I guess a great opportunity for him, since canonically he’s much less attractive than everyone else despite looking basically the same as them.
@Rick Dyer: And an awesome band at that.
Dustin’s date waited until they had ordered and been served drinks to say “You’re Dustin?” My guess is until that moment, she was perfectly civil and normal with him until she suddenly remembered “Oh right! I’m a young female in the Dustinverse. My job is to take unfair digs at him and treat him like shit.”
Can we haz COTW?
MW-Dawn, having a girlfriend who wants to kill you is just one of Willie’s endearing quirks.
@Ettorre: Do “Dustin” have any incel cult following?
I’d be honestly surprised if it doesn’t. I don’t hate anything in this world as much as Steve Kelley seems to hate women. It’s also worth noting that the character of Dustin gets absolutely eviscerated in his character description on the strip’s Wikipedia page, but it’s so accurate that nobody has edited the entry to make it more neutral.
@Liam: Abusing pets because they’re getting attention, obnoxious behavior during dates from spilling sauce on intimate areas (and groping said areas) to forgetting the credit card, inappropriate and downright creepy implications with his daughter…if those are “endearing quirks,” I would hate to see what actual things are considered heinous and unacceptable. Oh, wait, it’s Mary Worth so it’s women who have jobs outside the home, children who don’t have tummy brains, and anyone who has an actual personality.
MW:
“He cares about you and wouldn’t want you to be distressed”
Uh, Mary, as long as Wilbur the Hutt is getting his regular dose of that sweet puuuussseeee he wouldn’t listen to Jesus Christ himself.
MG&G: It’s feet all the way down.
MG&G: I Have No Feet And I Must Scream. — by Harlan Ellison’s Less Talented Cousin
MW: What??!!! So, for a few weeks, has Batsy been actively trying to murder Dawn, or not? Has Dawn been having horrible dreams every night, or not? Has Batsy been cooking most of the meals, or not? Has Wilbur noticed that he’s got the unpleasant symptoms of a STD, or not?
I am feeling righteous indignation. I have demonstrated my willingness, over the years, to trot along behind MW in whatever ridiculous direction it chooses to go. But I demand moderately-credible timelines, dammit. Suddenly turning a few days into a few weeks is TOO MUCH.