Mostly one-panel Monday
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The Lockhorns, 6/30/25
You all know that I hold the Lockhorns in a great deal of affection, but I am not blind to the truth, which is that they are squat, gnome-like people whose skulls are — let’s be real — lumpy and misshapen. We allow for this because they are, of course, cartoons, but it’s also true that stylized cartoons of the Lockhorns’ ilk are only meant to be viewed from a limited set of angles: in a very real sense, they do not exist in a complete three-dimensional space like you or me. Leroy and Loretta specifically should not be viewed from what appears to be an in-store security camera pointing down from the ceiling of whatever sad local drug store they’ve stopped by in order to browse the get well cards. This point of view really makes quite clear the aforementioned misshapenness of their skulls, in a way that I don’t think any of us asked for.
Marvin, 6/30/25
Two beings trapped together in a miniature world just big enough for them, yet still participating in an economic system where one must be indebted to the other? This is a grim scenario that no water-themed pun can cover up!
Pluggers, 6/30/25
Before today I would’ve said the bar for “What constitutes a joke or bit of wordplay in Pluggers” was so low that no installment of the strip could possibly fail to clear it, but that was before today, when I was confronted with “Pluggers stop at all the neighborhood kids’ lemonade stands,” accompanied by a drawing of a plugger stopping at a lemonade stand. This maybe could’ve been salvaged by showing that the plugger in question was precariously holding multiple cups to emphasize the scope of his generosity and/or thirst, but real heads know that Rhino-Man absolutely cannot afford to do that.
Mary Worth, 6/30/25
Ha ha, can you imagine being as ignorant of all the twists and turns of Wilbur’s love life as Dr. Jeff? Probably feels great! Sure, Mary’s about to tell him about it in vivid detail, but he can just open up the throttle on his powerboat until the engine is loud enough to drown her out.
115 replies to “Mostly one-panel Monday”
Lockhorns: This is the trouble with suburban living. If Leroy was just a little bit hipper, he could be buying cool $1 greeting cards from Trader Joe’s (and have a couple bucks left over for some Crunchy Chili Onion Hummus).
Pluggers: Sorry, kid, but plunking three ice cubes into a pitcher of lukewarm Minute Maid does not constitute “Ice Cold Lemonade.” (But it does put you in the correct mindset to enjoy plugger-quality cuisine from greasy spoons and diners for the rest of your life.)
Mary Worth: Dr. Jeff is so permanently uninterested in Mary’s life and friends that he wasn’t even paying attention when she told him a legit fascinating story, about how Wilbur’s girlfriend kept trying to poison his daughter and he almost let her because he was enjoying the sex so much. I mean, even the dolphins that keep swimming alongside Jeff’s boat for some reason know what happened, and they barely speak English.
MW: Mary and Jeff enjoy a sunset cruise after she gives the Limpets marital advice.
MW: It’s not that Dr. Jeff is ignorant of Wilbur’s love life; he just doesn’t care. The man has spent decades being dragged around and financially extorted by this meddling harpy. He owes her nothing and this trip to international waters will show her once and for all how much he’s been longing to push her overboard and let the turbines do the work for him.
MW: Is Dr. Jeff’s “again” meant to indicate that he’s already (willfully?) forgotten what Mary’s told him. or does it display his belief that Wilbur’s life is a karmic circle or disasters that are superficially varied but basically the same thing happening to him over and over?
@BigTed: It’s not Jeff’s fault that as soon as Mary says the word “Wilbur,” his brain automatically turns off and becomes static.
MW:
“Look starboard, Mary! — there’s my special porpoise!”
THWACK
GA: “HA HA! He tried to save money with eggs and now he’s deeply in debt with no eggs!”
S4th: Time portal. He found the Phantom’s Lair with the Zoom remote to the Unknown Commander’s office.
Phantom: What has it been, several years, since we’ve gotten a fresh clean New Adventure? And we’re already spoiled that he’s going to kick The Bad Guy’s ass (wait, that’s a spoiler?)
MW:
[Exposition Porpoise 1 to Exposition Porpoise 2]: “Let’s head to the Bumboat! — I hear their potatoes dolphinoise are to die for!”
Pluggers Break Bad Part 4 or 5 (I’ve already lost count): Rhino Plugger hands over what appears (on close inspection) to be a three dollar bill, thus fulfilling his role in the counterfeit money laundering ecosystem.
Marvin:
That joke really tanked.
Pluggers:
That’s what kids look like in Pluggersland? — that “kid” behind the stand looks to be about 35 years old!
Lockhorns: Leroy’s just being practical. He’s holding a get well card, sympathy card, and Happy Fourth of July!
So, we the audience saw what happened to Wilbur, then Wilbur told Mary in great detail about what happened, now Mary’s going to tell Jeff in great detail what happened.
Jokes on you comic, nobody cares what happens to Wilbur.
MW: Oh, come ON. It’s bad enough that Mary indulges Wilbur’s crap. Now we’re supposed to believe that Jeff does too?
RMMD: Oh, come ON. It’s bad enough that we’ve been talking this zero-stakes DNA test for a month. Now we’re supposed to believe Wanda cares about it too?
CS: Oh, come ON. It’s bad enough that Lillian’s a famous writer. Now we’re supposed to believe that she’s a famous YouTuber too?
Pluggers: Oh, come ON. It’s bad enough that Pluggers notice the existence of anyone other than themselves. Now we’re supposed to believe they’d spend money too?
Crankshaft: Ed should be on some kind of watch list.
GT: Clip-on ties? The enshittification of fast fashion arrives in Milford. Hard.
Dustin: I’m usually not much for this refugee schoolkid from Peanuts. But when he’s on, I will give him his plaudits.
Blondie: They live in a suburb and carpool to a city of some type. Where the hell are they driving, to go blueberry picking?
FC: The kids are really slacking off. Thirsty and Irma’s…lawn…looks worse than usual.
No-one else is going to question why Lockhorns is suddenly in black&white?
Not that it matters (nothing will make Lockhorns look better colour or not) but I’m just wondering if Josh had to get his source from a different site this time? Or if the creators just wanted to save on ink?
The entire bottom of that fish tank is encrusted with blackened filth, and the fish are visibly dirty. Marvin doesn’t do many things right, but the strip is always on-brand.
Pluggers: Almost a Six Chicks level of observational observation.
Pluggers put their gin flasks to good use when stopping at all the neighborhood lemonade stands.
RMMD: Will we get to see Wanda let down her beehive on the wedding night? They owe us that.
“What happened to him *again*? Did he fall off a boat like last time? Did he get drunk and sit on Aldo’s Curve contemplating ending it all, like the time before that? Did he start stalking someone through the shrubbery line the tone before that? Did he get scammed by a giantess like the time before that? Or am I forgetting something?”
“Wilbur? That loser we had the goldfish funeral for? We’re talking about this guy AGAIN? Out with it, Mary: are you sleeping with him? Are you – oh, God, is that why we’re on this trip?”
“Yes. Wilbur’s decided he wants Stellan taxidermied. I think the burial at sea was around here somewhere. Now go get your scuba gear on.”
MW:
June heaved a sigh as she closed the door. “Thank goodness we don’t have to leave after all!” she exclaimed, walking to the huge windows and opening the drapes to reveal the turquoise surf beyond. “I can’t believe our flight got cancelled and we have to stay for at least two more weeks! Maybe even longer, if we’re lucky!” She called out to the maid. “Daisy! Could you come here, please?”
Karen plunked down on the sofa. “I hate packing. And I hate unpacking. It’s exhausting,” she said flatly. “On the other hand,” she brightened, “Daisy will do all of that!”
The maid entered the room. “It’s so nice to welcome you both back to Royale,” she said, smiling. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, for starters,” June replied with an answering grin, “a few more mimosas would be great–it’s still morning! Then, if you would unpack our things, I’d really appreciate it. It looks like we’ll be able to stay for a while longer, after all.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Daisy replied, then added, “Would you like lunch on the veranda?”
Karen gave the maid a grateful nod. “You’re worth your weight in gold, Daisy!”
As the maid departed, Karen continued, “I’m worried about the strip, though. I don’t see how we can keep it going for much longer without giving them new material.”
“Well, it was a brilliant idea to have Mary and Jeff go for a cruise, that’s all I’M sayin’. There’s only so much scenery to admire and Jeff and Mary only had to exchange pleasantries, so this was a perfect way to lead into the entire flashback of Wilbur’s latest failed romance. I think we can stretch it even further if we need to, by recalling that it was just a year ago that they took a cruise with Wilbur to give Stellan a burial at sea. It’s kind of an anniversary, right?”
“Is it? I’d forgotten.” Karen picked up a mimosa from the tray just brought to them, and handed it to June. “We’ll need more of these mimosas right away, Daisy!” she quickly added as the uniformed maid retreated.
“Well, I think our readers would enjoy seeing Stellan again, even if in flashback. I got a message from Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! He wasn’t real happy with Willa’s situation. Apparently, that incident with Belle went a little too far for his taste…heh heh! Maybe giving Stellan some post-mortem action will sooth the savage beast. Anyway, Stellan is supposed to be dead, so the cost of having him appear at this point is going to be dirt cheap. Especially if we re-use those panels with him lying in that box. Sid was all over how great his acting was, and that nobody plays dead like Stellan. But I happen to know for a fact that Stellan was passed out drunk when he did those scenes. Also, he’s a mouth breather.”
“Well,” Karen replied, “I don’t mind paying Stellan for whatever role he’s playing, although it’s a relief that the residuals won’t be so hefty, now that he’s dead. How do you want to handle the artwork, though? You didn’t bring your materials with you…!”
“I didn’t need to! Today’s panel showing Jeff and Mary at the helm? That’s really Wilbur and Mary sitting on the sofa. They’re even wearing the same outfits: Mary’s purple cowl-necked thing, and Wilbur’s maroon polo. I just had them drop the images onto a background of the boat from the last time they took out the yacht, replace Wilbur’s head with Jeff’s, and add those hands to make it look like Jeff was steering. I work with a guy at the printer’s whose trying to get ahead, so he did what I told him because he’s looking to make his big break. I must say, he remembered to change Wilbur’s neck to Jeff’s–I’d forgotten–and he made sure to give Jeff his distinctive pointy Adam’s apple. The kid is a gem. And going forward, we’re talking about re-using a lot of the artwork from the Belle story, only use scalloping around it so the readers know it’s a flashback.”
Karen shook her head and smiled in frank admiration. “How ever did you come up with THAT? We could stay here for months while we replay ALL of it!”
Daisy came in to replenish the tray of mimosas and removed their used glasses, closing the door quietly as she departed.
“Actually, I got the idea from Daisy’s scalloped cap.” June picked up a fresh glass and drank deeply. “The thing is, with my guy at the printer, we can pick and choose from artwork AND writing. All he has to do is drop it onto a background of our choice. As long as we fit the chosen text to the word balloons, we should be good to go!”
“Do you think our readers will notice?” Karen asked, a note of doubt creeping in. “I mean, we’ve already stretched this denouement out for, what, three weeks? Or is it four? I’m getting fuzzy….”
“Well, gee, it’s not like they can DO anything about it, even if they don’t like it. These people are hooked on Mary Worth! They love to hate on everything about this strip, so the worse we make it, the better fun they have snarking!”
“Do you really think so? Sometimes I wonder if our characters should have more…CHARACTER. They seem so flawed sometimes. Also, I think my sister knows that I patterned Belle after her, so she’s a little out of charity with me.”
“How did she figure it out?”
“The hair.”
June nodded. “Well, my cousin STILL hasn’t figured out that he’s Wilbur. Or Avery, for that matter. Anyway, I never see that side of the family so I don’t care. It’s Sid I’M worried about. He made more of a stink about Willa than that dead fish ever did. That’s why I think giving Stellan some visibility now might pay off in the long run.”
“So, you think we should mark the anniversary of Stellan’s passing?”
“We could have Mary find one of the flowers from the box that held Stellan, you know, just on the deck near a bulkhead. It could be a tender reminder that leads into another set of scallops.” June started giggling. “It’s like a seafood theme!!”
Daisy entered again and gave a small curtsy. “Luncheon is served,” she said, indicating the veranda beyond, where plates of herring awaited.
MW: “For those who came in late…”
Look at Dr. Jeff’s expression. He is eagerly anticipating the hilarious exposition of Wilbur’s sadsack love life. Moments from now, he and Mary will collapse to the deck in uncontrollable laughter. Then his boat rams a buoy, sinks, and they die. A happy ending for all!
@The Rambling Otter: Different source. It’s in color (colour, even) on the GoComics site.
The Lockhorns: On the plus side, Leroy’s eyes appear to operate independently, chameleon-like, or are totally blank, depending on how you squint at them. I like the second option, accompanied by a flat, robotic voice, all the better to fit the emotional tone of this strip. You can lead a horse to the greeting card section, but you can’t make him care!
Lockhorns-“What’s your cousin leaving us in their will and how can we get more?”
Slylock Fox-Slick Smitty didn’t steal anything. It was his girlfriend you did the siphoning out of the car. Now they are off for her to siphon something else.
RMMD-Sadly they bought a 23andMe kit.
MW-And cue the unnecessary summation.
MW-As Jeff and Mary finish dumping Wilbur’s body. “Do you think the sea will accept Wilbur’s body this time?”
FC-Pick the weeds that can be smoked.
MT: The Shaws know about the contaminated lake but okayed a swimming outing for Robbie. It makes about as much sense as having Robbie keep water wings on for slip n slide on the lawn.
FG: Looks like we’re gradually getting bits connecting to the trapped travellers’ stories – Azura/a new Margrave, and now I’m betting on the ex-Ming-guard who raises wild dogs. Maybe Zarkov will meet the serpent lady?
MW: I’m reading that as “What happened to him, AGAIN” and none of you can stop me.
You’re a Plugger if you think business should be like lemonade stands: no taxes, no unions, no health regulations!
Marvin: Oh, I don’t know: being trapped in a zero-sum economic contestation while slowly suffocating in your shit? Very on-brand for Marvin, and closer to our social world than we might like. I am very much looking forward to learning what mutual aid looks like in an oxygen-starved world.
Mary Worth: Those dolphins? Those dolphins are on an intercept course for Dr. Jeff’s S.S. Booty Call. They’re as sick of hearing about Wilbur as the rest of us. Go, go little dolphins! Sink the Booty Call! Save Santa Royale! Save your readers! No maritime court will convict you!
Like a primeval ancient goddess, Mary needs to ritually purify herself after dealing with something dirty and polluting, i.e. Wilbur. This will require a sacrifice and this is why at the end of every Wilbur storyline Dr Jeff takes out his boat and drive it around until the engine has killed some manatees or emitted enough CO2 to drive another species to extinction
MW: To echo my fellow snarkers, AGAIN??? NO NO NO NOT AGAIN!!!
MW: Mary apparently has her own very eccentric personal vocabulary, in which for some strange reason “fortunate” is somehow a synonym for “celibate”.
Pluggers: Wouldn’t the obvious joke have been to show a street with like 8 different kids running lemonade stands in front of 8 different houses and a plugger gamely marching off to stop at “all of them”. I mean, sure, it doesn’t bear much resemblance to any real world scenario I know. But that’s normal for this strip.
It’s honestly impressive that a young kangaroo can hop an entire jug of lemonade from the kitchen to their non-health code compliant place of business.
***
Mary, as we all know, is not a licensed therapist nor is she clergy, so this means she is not beholden to any industry standards when it comes to patient confidentiality. This means she is free to partake into what makes all of this worth it – blabbing tales of her friends hitting low points in life to anyone who will listen.
Mary Worth: Ha! The placement of Mary’s hair makes it look like Dr. Jeff has a duck’s bill! Insert quack joke here, I guess!
I heard thousands of moans when Dr. Jeff asked for a recap…….no new Mary Worth storyline for at least another week, probably two.
FC: Later in the day, a Plugger wonders how he picked up ticks at a kid’s lemonade stand.
JP: I assume I’m the only one who expects the Sophie, April and nasty cat storylines will inevitably intersect.
Mary tells Dr Jeff “the other day”, so to my mind, between 3 and 8 days ago, in strip time. We see her wearing the same mauve cowl-neck sweater. Does Mary have an unending supply of mauve cowl-neck sweaters, like she does of muffins, salmon squares and bowls of grey goop?
Why is Mary telling Dr Jeff this story? For Dr Jeff to make sense of it, Mary’s going to have to tell Jeff that Belle had huge tracts of land, and actively served as the vessel of Wilbur’s basest desires. Doesn’t that violate the Mary Worth Comics Code Seal of Approval, or at the very least, inflame Dr Jeff’s passions, and put Mary in danger of an underwear free walk of shame from dock to Charterstone?
MW: Has this wrapup gone on long enough that Moy has caught up with the snark, realized oops – Dawn and Wilbur never realized the poisoning or told anyone about the wild knife scene – we should fix that! Are we about to get a “recap” reconning Mary as having been told this all along? Are we to blame for the neverending story??
Anyone still suffering from Apartment 3-G withdrawal should head over to Comics Kingdom, starting up a story arc from 1971 featuring recurring character Newton Figg, a manboy children’s book author, stuffed-animal afficionado, and belligerent drunk.
@Needless Exposition:
“OK, Mary: never my lover, but now my chum.”
Pluggers – Pluggers stop at all the neighborhood kids’ lemonade stands. Except Alex’s. Pediatric cancer, my foot! Get out of that hospital bed and get a paper route or something, you little moocher!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Juan, you’ve worked hard to make it in show business”
“That’s true, Abundio”
“Has your success been as great as other famous actors? John Barrymore? Spencer Tracy? Gregory Peck?”
“No, no… Greater!”
“It was easy for those guys because they had talent!”
So a couple weeks ago, one of Mr. Diva’s co-workers came across a child’s lemonade stand. On being solicited for a purchase, he apologized, explaining that he had no cash on hand to pay with.
“That’s okay,” the kid says, pointing to a QR code attached to the table. “You can Venmo me.”
It now occurs to me that this is the sort of thing that would happen in a comic strip–though not Pluggers, since as today’s strip demonstrates Pluggers still carry cash. But where it was mildly amusing in real life, in a comic strip it would feel like an awkward attempt to comment on generation gaps and changing technology. Context, as always, matters.
Kids don’t open lemonade stands to make money anymore. They make Skibidi Toilet.
GT: “How do I look?”
“Much worse the last few months but that’s true of all of us. Beth has gone into hiding and Marty Moon is doing reverse loan mortgage commercials”
“At least Meemaw is having fun with the hockey team. Wherever they are.”
MW: “What’s up with Wilbur? You won’t believe what that Dumb$&@ has done now. You might want to pull over.”
MW: “WHAT happened to him again?” “Well, we think he was dropped on his head as a baby…”
MW: Mary needs to summarize The Lesson of the Story, since Mary is all-knowing and all wisdom must issue from her mouth. But she can’t summarize it in Wilbur’s presence, since that would force him to either a) actually learn something or b) admit that he has no intention of changing, but is completely happy as a waste of carbon who expects everything from the world and contributes nothing, neither of which this strip will allow. So Dr. Jeff steps in, fulfilling his role of listening to and admiring Mary while preventing anything from disturbing the comfortable character stasis.
Pluggers: Littleton is, in fact, a fairly affluent and un-Pluggerish part of the Denver metro area, a higher-end suburbia with many houses currently listed above the $1M mark. The revelation that Pluggers think of themselves as unpretentious, salt-of-the-earth types when in fact they live in a world of comfortable, unexamined privilege doesn’t surprise me near as much as it might.
GT: After tying Keri’s necktie and offering fashion tips, Gil reminds her that it’s her responsibility to get express permission before approaching each base, and slips her a pocket copy of The Modern Gentleman.
Pouring gin into the neighborhood kids’ lemonade yields a flat Tom Collins. Pluggers also carry Alka-Seltzer to provide the necessary fizz.
FG: Hey, it’s our first look at the Mongovian district of Arboria, the forest world! Of course Arborio has wolves, and probably deer ticks too. Which will get Dale first?
“Did you ever think, Mary, that we could just get away from Wilbur and all the ‘grandstanding oddballs’ at Charterstone forever? The boat has food and fuel for months, and I packed swimsuits for us both. We could just keep going west, out into the central Pacific, and find a quiet atoll just for the two us.”
“Jeff, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. I don’t care what your ultimate fantasy is, I’m not wearing a bikini on Bikini for you.”
Lockhorns: “How sick is your cousin? The sympathy cards are cheaper.”
Marvin: “Go float upside down.”
The Lockhorns – This angle gives me $5 get well card nausea
Marvin – Private equity has bought the castle out from under the fish, and rent is rising 30% a year.
Pluggers – The faceless figure in a hoodie on the currency leads us to wonder who the Pluggers honor as their greatest leaders.
Mary Worth – I think Karen Moy just caught on to the “aftershow” trend from the 2010s, where recaps of episodes were used to keep audience watching on cable channels, and many unofficial ones ran on YouTube. Dr. Jeff has been drafted in as the first host. Most of the non-Wilbur/Dawn characters will find this their fate as well, as the strip increasingly becomes taken over by the Westons and talk about the Westons.
@Professor Well Actually: You weren’t the only one. I said as much on Saturday. The only question is what role will the nasty pussy play? (And I don’t mean Freyja! HI-YO!!)
@LTJpezcore1: MW: Jeff’s dialog should have been “Oh God, what happened to that loser this time?”
@The Rambling Otter: Canadian Otter?
@Ukranazi Stepan: Way TL;DR
C’shaft: Oh great, Tom Batiuk has discovered BookTok.
GT: You look like you’re aiming for “Marlene Dietrich gender-blurring sophistication” but landed somewhere in the vicinity of “low-level thug in a Mafia movie.” Your dad looks like someone tried to draw Gaston from Beauty and the Beast from memory.
Luann: “Yes, we’re going to stay at home and watch my Blu-Ray of Wicked. It’s the sing-along version, so get your pipes ready!”
MT: Cherry, did you have a brief fling with Ranger Shaw about, oh, eleven or twelve years ago? I’m just saying, you may have convinced Mark Rusty’s red hair comes from your side (even though L’Oreal Brilliant Bordeaux isn’t an inheritable trait), but to the rest of us it’s kind of obvious where he gets it from.
@nescio:
That’s a much better joke than the one they actually used. If only Lockhorns were willing to go that dark.
@Uncle Lumpy:
Unfortunately you have to pay Comics Kingdom to read ‘Apartment 3G’.
Lockhorns: Is Loretta above Leroy here? Is she standing on a stepstool so she can get to the top row of cards? Maybe we are meant to be looking at them as if through a security camera. If so, that would explain the use of black & white.
Marvin: “Hey Finn, get stuffed.”
Pluggers: Flowmax, not just golfers anymore.
Luann: Fastforwarding – “Sorry about losing your job at Weenie World, but at least you have more free time with Phil, right?”
Pluggers-For an extra dollar the child can Irish up that lemonade.
Pluggers: Rhino guy probably just throws the empty cups on the ground as soon as he’s done with them. Pluggers don’t strike me as the kind to care about the environment.
Marvin: He pissed his money away.
@Nobody:
“He’s fluffy, he’s cute, he’s lots of fun, he eats some clams when the snarking’s done. He loves water…. he’s the Canadian Otter!”
@Lord Flatulence: You absolutely know THAT’S too much to ask for but…we can always read between the lines!
@Myrtle: RMMD: Will we get to see Wanda let down her beehive on the wedding night? They owe us that.
She’ll just take it off and set it by the bed.
Shlockhorns – In the Shlockhorn universe, a card for a good outcome implies best death wishes….
Marvin – Cuz I’m drowning in debt….
Pluggers – For ninety crumby cents, a Plugger makes the poor kid listen to a half hour dissertation on why social equity demands senior discounts….
MW – We must report back to the pod ASAP, with this Wilbur Weston news!
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Lockhorns — Say what you like about the loveless, colorless, joyless Hell on Earth that Loretta and Leroy inhabit, but you can still buy $2 Get-Well-Soon cards in the drugstore there. . .
MW — This dialogue goes down much better if you can imagine Jeff saying “The feeling is mutual” in Teri Garr’s Young Frankenstein voice
JP: mean cat’s future role will be to permanently marr a pretty blonde’s face with deep scratches. Which pretty blonde is yet to be determined.
FG: If you have no control over where those spacial discs dump you, how come General Tahl was able to end up in Castle Syk exactly where he needed to be?
“OK, we’ve got ‘congratulations on departing this vale of tears,’ ‘I hope you see your pilot face to face once you cross the bar,’ and ‘do not go gently into that good night.’ Jesus, what sort of sicko wrote that last one?”
FC: Why don’t you two go over Crankshaft’s house and help him weed his garden?
@The Rambling Otter:
lol… I asked because of the spelling of colo(u)r
@The Rambling Otter: No-one else is going to question why Lockhorns is suddenly in black&white?
__________________________________________________
“Dead Lockhorns Wear Plaid” Steve Martin had his skull blunted for the part.
@Nobody: I have finally found a way to live, in the colour of the pompous English speaking people….
@The Rambling Otter: “He’s fluffy, he’s cute, he’s lots of fun, he eats some clams when the snarking’s done. He loves water…. he’s the Canadian Otter!”
_________________________________
If he has a identical twin cousin, Sid can get him starring in the sitcom “The Other Otter”.
Karen Moy’s rules of good writing: “Whenever Wilbur is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking, ‘where’s Wilbur?'”
Oh, I want to hear Mary’s version of what happened. Is it going to focus on Belle’s mysterious obsessive-compulsive murder disease? How Wilbur remained oblivious while she went off her meds and spent days doing increasingly desperate murder plots? How Dawn feared for her life but refused to either fight or flee? Really the part I want to know more about is how Dawn somehow sensed that Wilbur somehow sensed the danger and became helplessly addicted to it which somehow made it into fine, understandable fatherly behavior.
Can we follow those dolphins for a few weeks instead of Mary and Dr. Jeff? Please?
Lockhorns: “Well let’s see, first he couldn’t go #2 if you know what I mean, but then he got Parainfluenza virus type #3 — after which they discovered a severe #4-Alpha-hydroxyphenylpyruvate hydroxylase deficiency — but sure, Leroy, make your little jokes.”
9CL: Alistair’s head is as large as his entire torso.
RWO: What are those things?
FC – Jeffy looks like he’s familiar with weed.
Pluggers – I was trying to figure out how a kangaroo can squeeze lemons, but then realized that maybe I don’t want to know.
9CL – Good grief, Alistair’s Easter Island head is larger than his torso. That’s taking into account that his swimming trunks are pulled up halfway to his armpits. Brooke can’t be bothered with details (or backgrounds) when he’s drawing a couple making out. However, he’s overdue for a meticulously detailed view of Polly’s, Lolly’s or Edda’s legs.
Frazz – I know that kids addressing adults as Mr. or Mrs. Whatever is a Stone Age tradition, but Caulfield doesn’t even address Frazz by his first name. “Dude!?” I guess they’re considered to be equals instead of mentor and child. They’re certainly equals in the smug superiority department.
It seems appropriate to re-state Rube’s scrotable comment from a week ago:
Pluggers are incredibly smug about incredibly little.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: re: FG: General Tahl was lucky enough to be transported to the Greyhound Terminal in Schenectady, New York. $37.50 bought him a second-class bus ticket back to Kira.
@Tom T.: We think alike about Alistair’s torso – you got there first.
@Myrtle: #20
Unless it’s a *literal* beehive…that’ll be one memorable wedding night!
@Ettorre: No child labor laws.
@Professor Well Actually: I expect that, too, and I guarantee that it will be incredibly stupid with numerous plot holes and continuity issues.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I was trying to come up with the point of today’s Pluggers, but that’s definitely it.
I think that McKee might be going for sweet, thoughtful, or endearing, but it’s just smug.
@TheDiva: Was coming here for the “Pluggerville median household income is six figures” beat but you got there first!
Two bits of praise today: the Lockhorns joke is good, and the Marvin joke is one that, if not for the drawing style, I wouldn’t have known was Marvin.
@TheDiva: LUANN: Yeah, that would require a knowledge of pop culture that Luann doesn’t have. She spends her spare time staring off into space, remember?
Lockhorns: “How much to I care about your Cousin? $2, $3, $4? How about zero? Let’s go with zero.”
@I speak Jive: I thought of that, but too late, so thanks for the addition
@Charterstoned: #23
C’stoned, you are absolutely killin’ it here…it was worth squeezing into that little French maid’s uniform again just to be a part of Karen and June’s shenanigans! Herrings for lunch was brilliant! And for the evening repast, perhaps a mushroom quiche with a “special ingredient” as an appetizer, followed by pan-seared scallops with scalloped potatoes and veal scallopini with a finish of scalloped coconut pie and scallop martinis!
Too much? :-)
LUANN: Mrs. Horner said Phil needed Luan to liven him up. But amphetamines (Tara) can be dangerous, son.
PHANTOM: Ok, #21 had played with shadows to hide his absence. But this drawing clearly shows he’s out to lunch.
@Bob Tice:
That’s what kids look like in Pluggersland? — that “kid” behind the stand looks to be about 35 years old
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…..and he’s still living in his Mother’s pouch!
PLUGGERS: You’re not a Plugger if you don’t get your penny in change.
MW: As usual, after an EXHAUSTING bout of saving the day and restoring harmony to the cosmos, Mary feels richly deserving of an ocean jaunt, Jeff’s obsequious ass kissing and a hearty Bum Boat meal, where she’ll order…c’mon, you know this!
MARVIN: Wilbur creeps in to steal the fish. How could he resist? They talk and possibly have money!
@Bryan:
Well, it would have made sense for Luann to have an interest in musicals and the theater back when that was her goal forever ago. Though Luann wanting to break into an industry while having no interest in what it produces would also make a lot of sense…
@I speak Jive: Alistair’s torso
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Who could forget Alistair Torso hosting PBS’ “Masterpiece Piano F*****G”?
@I speak Jive: Alistair’s torso
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You can get anything you want at Alistair’s Torso-raunt.
FG: glad to see we get a Dana (?) arc, albeit a week deferred. Love how confident they each were before stepping in the portals that each would successfully make allies and handle deadly danger. They keep McDonalds toys in their pockets to make new friends?
@GarrisonSkunk: Alistair MacLean had an antique organ…well…that’s what his wives said….
@Lord Flatulence:
#96. LOCKHORNS: In truth, I can still get cards for $.50 at Dollar Tree. But add on about $1.00 per stamp and it’s still not nothin’.
@Tom T.: RWO: What are those things?
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New Milton Bradley’s Simon™ For Dogs? (Sid might know) I saw Odie and Snoopy playing it in his waiting room last week.
@Activist: In truth, I can still get cards for $.50 at Dollar Tree
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Dollar Tree Mark™ Cards: When you care so little to send the very worst.
Lockhorns: Just about every week at work, I see discarded greeting cards dumped on shelves and at the registers.
I always imagine the buyer/not buyer going: “I am buying this card because I care.”
And then:
“Well, this card doesn’t express the sentiments I had in mind and/or the art doesn’t reflect my tastes.”
Or:
“5 dollars!!!! I don’t care THAT much! I’ll send an e-mail or a Facebook note.”
MW: I think Wilbur would have taken the breakup even harder if Belle murdered Dawn. Maybe not.
MANDRAKE: It’s a little late now, Narda, but next time you hire a navigator make sure first she has eyes.
BF: shouldn’t parents give adult children the respect they’d give other adults?
MW: Maybe it’s me, but I think the bigger story here is that Wilbur’s girlfriend was a homicidal maniac who was trying to kill his daughter, his fish, and finally Wilbur himself, and not Wilbur’s upset about breaking up with someone.
Crank: I think this is an attempt to bring back “the twins take things literally”, but what it actually comes across as is “Lillian is bad at sarcasm”.
DT: Well, that’s that all cleared up! And to think I was worried Curtis might be making this up as he went along!
JP: So, when exactly in the morning is it? Is it dawn? Did Sophie’s screwed-up body clock lead to her getting up at 4am because it was sunny, after maybe three hours sleep? (Yes, I am going to keep harping on about the very long days of a Norwegian midsummer until I get some indication Ces knows about them.)
MW: YES, PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT SODDING WILBUR, MARY! WE JUST HAVEN’T HEARD ENOUGH ABOUT HIS PROBLEMS OVER THE LAST
FOUR MONTHSSEVERAL YEARS!!I can’t believe I’m asking this, but how’s Keith Bellend doing? Yes, I hate him too (in fact, I think he should probably be in prison, whereas I only think Wilbur should be ostracised) but it might be nice to hate someone different for a change.
S4th: In retrospect, of course Ces was only setting up “this painting symbolises that Ted’s dad didn’t hate him” in order to have it damaged during the party. Of course he was.
SH: “I mean, I don’t know why I thought he needed help swimming through the hoop, since he was managing it fine on his own, just like I don’t know why we decided it made sense for him to only swim through it downwards rather than me pushing him up through it. The important thing is that these skills just happen to transfer directly to a sport I’ve never heard of, provided you ignore that the mechanics of it all would be completely different outside the water!”
Marvin: “Fish Bowl”
FIFY