Mostly teen Thursday
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Archie, 7/10/25
I honestly enjoy the fact that some nameless gal is clearly scoping Archie and Reggie out in the first panel, and that Reggie reacts approvingly to Archie’s lustful career decision making, rather than with his usual annoyance at his frenemy’s antics. These kids exist in a sea of horniness! At last, the strip is being up front about it!
Luann, 7/10/25
Speaking of seas of horniness, Bernice seems to be approaching a Lucky Eddie situation, vis-à-vis human-on-fish action, and I can’t say I’m as approving of this one. Sorry to be “vanilla,” but I gotta draw the line somewhere!
Mary Worth, 7/10/25
“It’ll be nice to see old friends again! Or rather … young friends! Who are … older now, I guess? But still young? Look, Mary, I’m gonna be real with you, I have taken several Ativans and I am having a hard time finding my bearings in this conversation.”
The Lockhorns, 7/10/25
“Just on his face and arms, though. And I made sure he had tube socks on so his feet stay nice and pasty, the way his OnlyFans subscribers like!”
164 replies to “Mostly teen Thursday”
Archie:
“Look, Archie! — Sofia Vergara is making a cameo appearance in our first panel!”
Olive gets to get older, while Dawn is perpetually stuck in her undergraduate years. You might think this is not fair, but remember, Dawn is a Weston, she’s incapable of maturing
MW: [Conspiratorial voice over]: We’ve secretly switched the contents of Mary’s glass with Toby’s beverage. Let’s see if anyone notices…!
If I had graphic talent, I’d superimpose Mary’s face on Al Pacino’s body with her saying “Say hello to my little friend!!! Who is not so little anymore”. But you’re stuck with my oral description
Luann-Oh great. Bernice is going to need a meddler when the fish dies.
RMMD-Oh heck I call everybody ‘son’.”
MW-And when I am done she’s going to be a woman.”
FC-No hard liquids until you master you’re drinking problem, Billy.
“And she’s a beautiful teenager now! You know what that means?”
“No”
“She’s ready to become Wilbur’s new girlfriend!”
“Mary, how can Ghislaine Maxwell beat you in sympathy?!”
Toby shakes her glass, as these vodka tonics do not re-fill themselves. The Time On Deck is 0941, and dammit, the Flexorils haven’t kicked in, yet.
MW:
“Why is her name ‘Olive,’ anyway, Mary?”
“Her parents conceived her after consuming martinis with a garnish!”
Lockhorns: I like the little touch of including the electric meter in the background. It’s a reminder that we all have bills to pay, even comic strip artists who are slowly becoming as tired and miserable as the characters they draw every day.
Lockhorns — Amidst the despair and hatred which accompany the constant snark and backbiting in their Sartrean No-Exit hellscape, it’s good to see that at least Loretta and Leroy have electricity delivered to their home by the local power company.
Archie: I know that it’s really beside the point, but benefits? For a minor in a part-time cashier job ? There’s always plenty of clues that this strip doesn’t take place in the present day, but this one seems more depressing..
MW Sorry, I can’t read the words ‘my little friend’ without hearing it in Tony Montana’s voice, and you know what? I think I’m going to read all of Mary’s dialogue like that from now on!
Lhrns: Hmm, it looks like the Lockhorns live in one of those electric utility buildings. Seems fitting.
One must imagine Leroy Lockhorn… happy? I don’t know if I can do it.
@Ettorre: Goddang it, slightly too late on Mary Worth snark…!
MW: “My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby!”
“Can we stop talking about Wilbur?”
Actually, in Fish, Monstro just recited the St. Crispin’s Day speech. He does that. What’s cool is you hear what you want, it’s how he got Bezos to start Amazon!
Archie : the AGLU3000 always adds these weirdly ill-fitting incidental characters to the strips; though sometimes it inexplicably makes these fake constructs (well, fake-ER than Archie and his friends in general, I mean) the person feeding the punchline, if not the punchline deliverer themselves!
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Luann : Monstro thinks : “How did you get THAT from ‘Get a life, you loser’?… I need a translator. Where’s Aquaman when you need him?”
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Mary Worth : Olive has not just become a teenager, but a sullen one! Yes, Olive has grown her hair out and is now one of those long, stringy, raven-haired misanthropic goth girls! Thanks a lot, Tim Burton and Jenna Ortega, for reviving that character archetype!
(Wait, am I being sarcastic, or geniunely thanking them? I’m not sure anymore!)
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Ripley’s Don’t Believe It :
a) Well, doesn’t that kinda go against the theme Josh chose today! Anyway, the way I understand it, it used to be that the bridge between childhood and adulthood was crossed by accomplishing some kind of ritual proving your adulthood (optionally, your name would be upgraded from the “kid” version to the “adult” version, too).
b) And that is why newspaper comics surged with “abstract art is dumb” jokes for a couple of years afterwards.
c) One has to take into account that there is an upper limit to how much time one can look at their phone at school; even kids who have been sentenced to detention for life can only be on their phones 24 hours a day, max.
MW: “My little friend is not so little anymore.” Mary chuckles to herself as she fulfills her goal to use one of Dr Jeff’s lines in normal conversation.
Does Pluggers snark sometimes write itself? Depends.
Also writing itself today is Family Circlejerk as Billy angles to find the secret cabinet where Thel stashes the gin.
Luann:
“Did you just say ‘boyfriend’?”
“No, no. ‘Blorp’ is just onomatopoeia for an aspirating sound that a fish makes!”
MW: After the last two months, Mary “videochatting” with a teenage girl and going to her house at her parents’ invitation seems downright wholesome.
RMMD: If this ends with Cody *not* being Truck’s kid, I will actually be a little impressed. That would low-key be a great troll.
Pluggers: For the last time, Grandpa, nobody wants to hear about your underwear.
Luann: “What will I do all month if Luann’s not here for me to boss around?” Christ, Bernice, get help.
Lockhorns: The Lockhorns usually has a pretty minimalist approach to backgrounds, so when they suddenly decide we need to see every detail of their backyard electric switch box situation, you’d better believe I take notice.
Still Lockhorns: Are we sure that’s a window? It looks more like Leroy just set up a flat screen TV with a crude AI Loretta making nonsensical quips at him. Is he so broken that he can’t relax without a nagging voice in his ear crushing his spirit?
“My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she’s quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It’s actually quite alarming! We’re getting into I’m a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I’m trying to make.”
@Ettorre: I got you covered.
*Mary Worth enters the NY apartment*
Chris Hansen: Why don’t you take a seat over there?
Mary: It was just chat!
CH: Chat is chat, but showing up is showing up, and guess what Mary Worth, you showed up!
DT: What you are just going to crate that painting? It could be of immense scientific and historical value. Diet: Don’t worry we have top people working on it. DT: Who? Diet: Top People.
RMMD: waiting for the test results to come back.
JP: So the strip is about two girls who live around the world and their family who have espionage ties – where does the legal aspect come in.
GT: the whole prom arc shows the strength of the creator and artist – NOT high school sports
MW: OK – so the little girl will now be taller than Mary right?
“Olive, you see, she’s not a little girl anymore”
“I see. She’s become a woman”
“No, she’s become a little boy”
@matt w: Thanks a lot! I can see my vision realised no matter how misguided!
MW: Toby has been around her ephebophilic husband for so long that hearing a geriatric talk about a teenage girl being beautiful doesn’t phase her anymore. She knows how easily replaceable she is.
Also, Mary, stop being creepy just because Wilbur’s not there.
MW: I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something creepy going on here.
Lockhorns: Loretta neglects to inform the person on the other end of the phone that Leroy is sunbathing fully dressed.
“Start your day with a mental image of Leroy in a thong;” she thinks passive aggressively. “Who else can I call?”
MW: You people are sick! Toby is reminding Mary that while she’s in New York she should bang Ken Kensington.
Archie: I’m just curious why they’re standing in front of a fresh grave. And who died? No one seems upset at all. Was it Mr. Lodge?
A&J: I ran across that book at a neighbor’s house when I was 12 or 13, and even at my most hormonal, the hideous drawings were the opposite of erotic.
CS: You’d think weight loss drugs would be a gold mine of humor, but somehow, no.
MW: It looks like Toby heard about “spiking a drink” and thought it was like spiking a football.
Mary Worth: “It’ll be nice to see old friends again. Or did you say young friends? Or enemies? So sorry, Mary, but this is my fourth drink. . . or, rather. . .sandwich?”
(Or Mary? Whoever’s body that arm is attached to.)
Luann: “What’s that you say? Well, I don’t as how showing you my tits is going to help the situation any.”
Luann: Mr. Monstro should know at this point that Bernice is not only a terrible friend but a fun hating prude on Mary Worth levels. She’s such a killjoy that she makes a wet blanket look like a beach towel on a clothesline.
Lockhorns: If sabotaging the joke means we don’t get to see Leroy shirtless, then I don’t see a problem here.
LUANN: What is it with all the piscine life coaches? I sincerely believe that that their thoughts are limited to: “Drop some more of them little flakes down here, would ya?”
SF: Haha, Ted Forth has been out-moroned!
DtM: Martha just HAS to be gaslighting George. She simply cannot be that oblivious to his loathing for Dennis.
RMMD: You SUPPOSE she had her reasons? She never wanted to see your stupid face again. How hard is that?
@matt w: Mary won’t even go to first base with Dr. Jeff…though to be fair, he’s likely relieved about that.
Bernice’s transformation into Wilbur is going worse than we thought.
“And she’s a beautiful teenager now! But I haven’t aged a day, and neither has anyone else here! In fact I think I look younger every time the artist changes! That’s what I love about these New York girls, man. They get older, I stay the same age.”
Pluggers: I’ll be 70 in another month and have worn jockey briefs my whole life. Does that free me from pluggerdom?
Pluggers: I once saw a photo from when Elvis was drafted. He and several other men were stripped to their underwear awaiting their physicals. The white men, including Elvis, were wearing jockey briefs while the black recruits were wearing boxers. Those that make black men pluggers?
Luann: “Because the fish told me to” is a terrible reason to get a boyfriend, but at least she didn’t decide the fish was telling her to kill and kill again.
The Lockhorns: Joshua Fruhlinger, you have made me contemplate a Leroy Lockhorns Only Fans page. God will not forget this. God won’t care about it, but she won’t forget it.
@Needless Exposition: Made me look up ephebophilic. Good job.
MW: The two-week long setup for the trip to NY which will likely last the entire rest of 2025 is going to be maddening…
Mary Worth: Even the white rose bushes approve of Mary’s trip to (New) York. Later, they will call on Toby for blood revenge against those red bastard Lancastrians across the way and the traitor Alora who prunes them so carefully, but we can deal with that another day.
Also Mary Worth:
New York City is a bad place to be
when you’re out of your mind, Toby-style,
meddling wild, Mary-style…
MW: Nobody in this strip ever ages, but Pimento does age?
Does proximity to Mary have something to do with this?
Archie: Sadly, much like the Aral, tomorrow Archie‘s sea of horniness will have dried up. Camels will lay down in the shadow of stranded ships, neighboring communities will worry about the poisons leaching out of the soil, Miss Beazley will serve Principal Witherbee some inedible slop, Archie will be unable to make up his mind between Betty and Veronica.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Considering his wife is old enough to be his daughter and the whole thing with the student trying to seduce him for a good grade, it’s a good thing that Ian and Toby don’t have any children. Not that they could with Mary’s “no children under twenty” policy.
Luann: Monstro clearly said “Come out of the closet and admit you’re a lesbian.” I heard him say it.
I can only imagine that the Evansi read the last Mary Worth story arc and thought “Wow, why don’t we have an unhealthy human-goldfish pairing as well?”
Lockhorns – If it’s true that Leroy is working his tan and has an Onlyfans account, I’m guessing that account is farmer-themed.
@Weaselboy: “Loretta folk just don’t get it.”
“A couple of the cashiers are kind of cute!”
They share a hearty chuckle.
“Anyway, thoughts about how to escape this quicksand patch?”
Someone’s ask how it’s possible that Olive is older but Mary hasn’t aged, at which point a high pitched siren is gonna go off. The characters will grab their ears and develop nosebleeds until it fades, at which point Toby will stammer out, “ha… have fun with Olive, Mary.”
It’s one thing to have an aging neighbour who talks in nothing but exposition and platitudes, you can tolerate that so she’s not lonely in her few remaining years. But when it starts getting creepy and she’s suddenly talking about “beautiful teenagers” it’s time for an intervention and a look at her search history.
FC: “C’mon, mom. Why should PJ get all the good stuff?”
@Voshkod:
I’m more intrigued at the black/pink/salmon rainbow that just passed over Reggie. Or, perhaps, emanated FROM Reggie? Did somebody throw one of those crappy car racetracks at him, and just missed? Yes. Yes, that makes sense.
@Tom T.:
Archie: I’m just curious why they’re standing in front of a fresh grave. And who died? No one seems upset at all. Was it Mr. Lodge?
Not sure who but it looks like they’re both about to piss on it. Mr Weatherbee?
Leroy appears to have two RIGHT feet. Does this mean he’s amazing at dancing, or terrible at it in heretofore unseen fashion?
@Robert Carlson:
Means with the right terrier, he could still have a Best In Show winner.
@Robert Carlson:
Means with the right terrier, he could still have a Best In Show winner.
FG: of course, every grinder, smelter needs a good industrial sweeper to collect the metal that litters the surrounding area. Hope it just takes Edda’s uniform and leaves her body (which would only taint the product)
Huh, that’s weird. I didn’t think it was funny enough to post twice.
MW panel 3: “Good thing I’ve got my little friend here! It never leaves my hand from dawn til night unless I’m refilling it. I drink to forget, you know “
@pugfuggly: Tomorrow’s entry will be the tell.
Real world: “Well, Jughead, it is the only store in town with groceries. Now let’s drive past all Riverdale’s empty stores and weed-covered lots to Pop’s Choklit Shoppe.”
Arlo and Janis: I’m with Arlo here. These two are the closest-to-real-life legacy comic couple I know of (see April 20, 2009 below it) and they’re way too young in body and mind to be Mary Worth and Jeff.
Blondie: Nameless guy can vacation in Tahiti? He’s way too well off to be in the social group of that carpool.
I thought Pluggers either wore whatever underwear their wives bought for them, or underwear that was so worn out you could no longer tell if they’re boxers or briefs. Pick a lane, Pluggers!
*blorp*
“Did you say ‘Hello from the gutters of N.Y.C. which are filled with dog manure, vomit, stale wine, urine and blood’? You did? Do . . . you want me to kill for you?”
*blorp*
“Oh. You just want me to clean your tank. There goes my summer.”
“These kids exist in a sea of horniness!” I don’t know if the actual comics feature the Betty/Veronica love triangle as much as most people imagine. But there’s a fanfic waiting to be written that inverts the premise. Archie may only seem to be a benign hero with a healthy appreciation for women – from their perspective, he may be manipulating both Betty and Veronica and stringing them along while cheating on both.
Archie: Part-time at a big box store? “Cute coworkers” is really the best benefit package Archie can hope for, along with a 10% discount at the on-site Starbucks.
Luann: That’s right, girls, the only way to find fulfillment in life is to get yourself a man!
MW: Charterstone appears to be some kind of weird, bland Shangri-La, living in stasis while the outside world moves on without them. Mary and, for some reason, the Westons can leave for short periods with no ill effects; if anyone else were to do so they’d instantly crumble into dust.
@A Grave Mind: A pride parade walked by (with somewhat muted colors, to be sure), but didn’t stop to help them out.
Lockhorns: “Leroy’s working on a tan. Fully clothed. Yes, he’s as bad at that as everything else.”
JP: talk about white male entitlement! Seriously, I hope this guy de gets what’s coming to him.
MANDRAKE: May and Narda are admirably focused– they don’t even bother to explore to see what, or who, is on this uncharted isle. Hope there get out on their own without a “htpnotic gesture of a man”
PHANTOM: we’ve all had bosses like this.
@Voshkod:
With that color pattern I would have to assume they were proud of being Johnny Rocket’s fans. You guys forgot sea foam!
Hmm, did I overdo things last night?
I thought that I was just playing along.
C’shaft: I’m sure there’s a joke here, or at least something that, if you squinted at it from a distance and in poor light, might resemble a joke. But I’ll be damned if I know what it is.
DT: Just store that next to the Ark of the Covenant.
Dustin: Dustdad having a “World’s Greatest Lawyer” mug has got to be grounds for a false advertising suit.
GT: “Limbo Rock”? What is this, a Skate City in 1986? (Then again, nobody is actually limboing, so maybe this is some kind of Stranger Things-inspired retro deal, like Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill”?)
JP: “Your parents took everything from me! They even took my facial hair! Look at me, I’m having to draw my goatee on with a highlighter!”
MT: Is that a hat, or did Violet commission an abstract public art installation for her head?
Phantom: I love this Ivory Lana warlord, framing his threats to his trafficked slave labor in bland corporate speak. Hopefully he refers to his manifesto as a “vision statement” and the mass executions as “downsizing.”
Pluggers weren’t asked, and nobody cares.
@A Grave Mind: But the movie is HILARIOUS, so the repeated reference is all good!
Archie – The newspaper strip is not as horny as the Riverdale show from the CW, but it’s still more horny from the reportedly very chaste Gen Z generation the cast is supposed to be
Luann – Monstro is suggesting Bernice get an actual boyfriend. He saw what happened with Willa and Stellan over in Mary Worth and he’s not going to be the emotional dumping ground for an unlikeable character that takes up too much story time.
Mary Worth – If Wilbur said any of what Mary said now, there would be a call to the police.
The Lockhorns – For all we know those are LeRoy’s actual feet, at least as best the cartoonist can draw them
Just dropping in to say “Bernice seems to be approaching a ‘Lucky Eddie’ situation” made me laugh out loud.
@TheDiva:
On Crankshaft : I think the joke is supposed to be “This headache medicine has the side effect of causing weight loss… but we’re DEFINITELY NOT trying to encourage you to buy it for THAT *WINK WINK*”?
Archie: The vibe in this strip has really shifted. The girl in P1 is clearly wearing a ball gag.
FC: “Naw, mommy…I want some of that stuff that looks like daddy’s mouthwash ‘n gramma’s always complaining you drink all the time because you’re a ‘drunken sot’ or sumpin like dat.”
@Bob Tice: Sofia Vergara? I would have said Denise Richards.
@The Rambling Otter: I know that I shouldn’t “read minds” by which I mean “assume what others are thinking” but I deeply apologize if I had offended anyone.
It’s a very emotional morning for me I guess, but I shouldn’t let it consume me.
Edit: Although I am currently going cold turkey on my soda addiction so that might have something to do with this.
Mary Worth / Archie: “She’s a beautiful teenager now! In fact, she has her driver’s license, so she’s been going out to the suburbs every day for a summer job at the Riverdale Mega Max store. She says she likes it… the benefits are decent money and flexible hours, and the only drawback is that she keeps getting hit on by her sexed-up red-haired coworker.”
Archie: Why does the random girl character have a pacifier in her mouth? Is that a “thing” with youngsters these days?
@matt w: Very nice!
RMMD Okay, your “son” only shows up after you have a hit song.
Could be a fake nepo baby trying to cash in.
Besides, what’s to stop him from spitting in two test kits and sending them in, proving they come from identical twins?
Archie: Isn’t Archie dating either Betty or Veronica most of the time? So why’s he talking about trying to get laid elsewhere? Are Archie, Betty, and Veronica a polyamorous throuple in an open relationship? Would this comic dare to portray something so progressive in a positive light? The main Archie Comics certainly aren’t afraid to feature things like that, but this is a newspaper comic, where even the slightest deviation from the nuclear family plan could give the readership heart attacks.
Luann: This Shape of Water fanfic is terrible.
Mary Worth: “It’ll be harder to manipulate her into using her psionic powers for my benefit now that she’s older, but I’m confident I can keep her under control.”
Lockhorns: If he’s supposed to be getting tan, why is he sitting under the shade? Seems counterintuitive.
FG: I’m still obsessed with with these stupid helmets and how the workers are able to see anything, so “not my best angle” made me think “Well, no, it would be very hard to climb a ladder if you can’t see either your hands or your feet,” but then I realized she was talking about her fat ass.
Luann: Someone is chasing the sweet, sweet profits from the Daddy Daze business model.
LUANN: Geez, Bernice, I know that you you haven’t perfected you new Aquaman-like abilities yet, but your goldfish telling you to “go fuck yourself” is not a clue that you should enter the dating scene.
@TheDiva: Or a fish.
Luann: Just failed the Bechdel test, which is funny because if anyone’s a lesbian in this strip, it’s Bernice.
Curtis: Grammy-Pearl is a Conjure Wife. Keep an eye out for waxen figures that look like you, Curtis.
DT: Diet Smith: “The time-travel painting, yes. Well, I’ll be keeping that.”
JP: Nothing says “sophisticated international secret agent” like taking your dweeb husband’s last name.
Blondie: Why are they vacationing in the tropics in JULY?
”Can’t wait to get into that glaring sun and intolerable heat!”
”But we have all that right here in Enid, Oklahoma.”
6C: Sick Chix.
Olive is aging, but Mary is not? Mary needs an invitation to cross the threshold of Olive’s home?
Ian is the only professor in the cast, so I guess he gets to be Van Helsing.
H&L:
Lois: What are all the clothes doing here?
Dot: Ditto makes his friends take them off before they come up.
Ditto: Ha ha. He he.
@Daisy: could be a botched lip filler, which is a thing with kids these days, sadly.
ARChIE: “And they haven’t added sexual harassment training to their HR department. Score!” (Gives Reggie a high-five.)
FC: Whiskey!
@BillieVee: #102
You are exactly right – and I’ve seen pictures of some hideous lips from using fillers. :-p
Curtis: This looks like one of those Kwanzaa stories.
Phantom: Giving a pep talk to slave labor?
Archie – Reggie, you’re supposed to be one-upping Archie! At least say you got a job at the Giga Max store.
Don Abundio, translated:
“What’s that you’re wearing, Juan?”
“It’s the costume I wore in the movies when I fought Bad Bart”
“Oh! I remember that guy!”
“Yes, I defeated him in 30 swordfights”
“But don’t turn your back on him”
Luann: The universe will end long before this bore ever gets laid
@The Rambling Otter: Hey, buddy, I can’t speak for others but I doubt if anyone is mad at you, I think you’re just having a bad day. I’d say “Have a Coke and a smile, but maybe that’s in bad taste.
@Lord Flatulence: Phantom: It’s the “apply for a job” that gets me – the army here abducted people for slave labour. Did they first take them to a little job fair with various possible slave jobs set up? As you’re grabbed from your village don’t forget your resume or you’re liable to get the nasty “latrine digger” or dangerous “mine worker” instead of “camp cook”!
Luann – Is Bernice trying to get on the bandwagon with all the talk about “jutting” in this blog? You’re no Thel Keane, Bernice.
@TheDiva: #79: re-Phantom: I also hope the warlord refers to the slave laborers squalid living quarters and inadequate food as part of his corporate culture.
That’s always been one of my biggest pet peeves about corporatespeak.
Look, you gray-suited jackwagon, Eskimos are a culture, New Guinea headhunters are a culture. How your stupid company treats your employees is not a culture.
@AnonymousLuann : Monstro thinks : “How did you get THAT from ‘Get a life, you loser’?… I need a translator. Where’s Aquaman when you need him?”
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“Anyone out there have a spare Babel human to stick in her ear?”
FC: Mommy, how come PJ gets to drink out of your boobs but I can’t?
@Daisy: #89: I can’t speak for the rest of the country but believe or not, here in Texas I’ve seen a lot of teenagers walking around with baby pacifiers in their mouths. It’s either a fad or a new way to take drugs.
@Alter Ego: “No Thel Keane?” Bernice isn’t even a Beetle Bailey.
Phantom: Next week — the bad guys start chopping off hands, like the Belgians in the Congo. (See KING LEOPOLD’S GHOST [Mariner Books, 1998], a popular history that reads like a thriller novel)
Archie – The random girl looks like she stepped out of the Luann strip. Today’s Luann is not a good example, but many of the other women in the strip have those inflated lips. That and the ugly artwork in general are the main reason I gave up on trying to follow Luann after a couple of weeks.
Brewster Rockit – He’s a Brony.
Crankshaft – It obviously doesn’t do anything to boost IQ.
Frazz – Even when he’s not able to exercise fanatically, Frazz manages to be smugly superior about the lifestyle.
Looks Good On Paper – We all are going to die.
THE LOCKHORNS: Actually, what happened was that Leroy tried to play hooky from work and Loretta was passive-aggressively trying to get him fired.
6Chix – Someone needs to cut down on fermented beverages. That’s some incomprehensible, badly drawn crap.
Thursday and Tuesday Chix appear to be having a race to the bottom of the barrel.
Gasoline Alley – They think this brain dead idiocy is hilarious. Slim should join Shorty and Beanpole’s act.
JP – I seriously loathe the April cloak and dagger dreck. I have loathed April for years. This story will be a masterpiece of made up as it goes bullcrap, with plot holes and lack of continuity and despicable characters. I guarantee it.
@Philip: Ian’s the only man who can creep on girls outside his age group in this comic. We all know he broke up with Helen “School Management!” Sharp because they were walking down the street and she was mistaken for his wife instead of his daughter.
@treetown: Re JP – Where does the legal aspect come in? You must not have been following this when Judge Alan Parker helped April’s father fake his death and ended up in prison as a result. I guess that counts as legal.
@The Rambling Otter: If you have a soda addiction, I hope you will succeed in cutting it out. When I was working I drank a lot of diet soda, and I wonder what it did to my bones especially. I went cold turkey when I retired in 2007, and since then I’ve had soda only a few times. Keep on trying!
Archie, 7/10/25: Being a “babe” doesn’t mean she has to put a pacifier in her mouth!
@Bob Tice: “Why is her name ‘Olive,’ anyway, Mary?”
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“The Taylors are ” Popeye” fans and they already have a Swee’pea.”
“Leroy’s dead. And he had the fucking gall to die happy. I just don’t know how to top that, Ethel.”
Luann: Hey, Bernice! Do you know what “blorp” means? Not a damn thing. Not a daaaamn thing.
@Anonymous: #124
I know! That is one badly misshapen mouth. It looks like there’s a small lip ring stuck in the middle of a bright pink oval. That looks like no human mouth I’ve ever seen.
@I speak Jive: #121
“Thursday and Tuesday Chix appear to be having a race to the bottom of the barrel.”
After seeing today’s offering, I’d say it’s a free fall to the bottom of the abyss.
Curtis: If Grammy-Pearl going to up and die on Curtis? “Curtis killed Grammy-Pearl, FOR NO GOOD REASON!”
@Philip: Gen Z is chaste, but less due to lack of horny and more due to being shut-ins. Plenty of porn consumption, of both the written and visual varieties.
@Ukulele Ike: #118
Thank you! I just requested that book from my local library!
@matt w:@Ettorre: Nicely done!
@Guillermo el Chiclero: #117
Wow…I had to check that out and it’s a “real” thing, at least on TikTok. Maybe for some people it’s a calming device, like those fidget toys; or a fad or a novel drug delivery method…who knows?
FC: There are times I wonder if someone at King Features knowingly publishes these.
Dustin: I don’t know why they choose to illustrate this man as repulsively as they do. And the guy Ed is talking to isn’t so great either.
Luann: Oh, good! We’re getting treated to Bernice’s further descent into madness!
MW: “So, I guess you’re going to see Olive her?” “Toby, this is not goddamned Crankshaft.”
Rambling, as a fellow former soda addict I suggest keeping a pitcher of ice water in the fridge and drinking it with Mio™, or a similar brand of water enhancer.
CS: It’s also not prescribed for lame-ass attempts at jokes.
9CL: I think what we’re learning here is that Alistair is into scat play.
Low and Hi-less: Ditto started The He-man Ticklish Foot Fetish Club.
Archie – It’s quite a pick me up, if you get cancer….
Luann – Bernice needs a burn-noose….
MW – This whole story line already has my tummy brain churning….
Shlockhorns – Leroy is working on filling his Depends(tm) from home today….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Pluggers: If you come up with increasingly strained definitions of Pluggerdom because you’re desperate to believe that literally everything about you marks you as One of The Tribe, you’re a Plugger.
S4th: Come to think of it, how did Ted convince all these people to come back? “Hi, the Forths would like to invite you to an inquisition! BYO guilty secrets!”
SH: Haha, yeah, that’s probably how a shared cat would consider its various homes, if cat-sharing like this was in any way a thing that actually happened.
@taig: MW: “So, I guess you’re going to see Olive her?”
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“WHAT A ‘TWIST’!”
FC: Thel’s wearing the universal Little Black Dress. She’s obviously heading for a hot night in town. Wonder if Bil’s invited.
@Horace Broon: SH: Haha, yeah, that’s probably how a shared cat would consider its various homes, if cat-sharing like this was in any way a thing that actually happened.
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Where is Safe Havens available?
@Guillermo el Chiclero: I think I heard pacifiers (or dummies as we call them) were part of rave culture back in the nineties (I wouldn’t know; I spent the nineties reading Discworld novels and campaigning for the BBC to bring back Doctor Who). It wasn’t a way of taking drugs as such, but it was something to do with mitigating some side-effects of “dropping an E”, I think?
@GarrisonSkunk: I get it on Seattle Times:
https://www.seattletimes.com/comics-king/?feature_id=safe-havens
@Daisy: Prepare to be depressed. Great book, but . . . man.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: FC: Thel’s wearing the universal Little Black Dress
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Hope she had it disinfected.
@Horace Broon: @GarrisonSkunk: I get it on Seattle Times:
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Thanks! Every source I checked has On The Fastrack, but not Safe Havens.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: that’s been a thing for years. Started with the rave kids back in the early 2000s if not before.
@Tom: I have a generation screen-time kid. She didn’t start dating till last year. She’s 21.
Heathcliff-“We are the Eggmen!”
MW-Are we going to be getting a female version of “Lolita”?
@Guillermo el Chiclero: I noticed the dress, too. I think Thel’s headed out to the rotating daily 10AM cocktail party thrown by all the stay-at-home moms in the neighborhood.
@Voshkod: Yeah, harrowing story. But that faceless clerk in the British shipping office who noticed the oddities in the Congo-Belgium goods trafficking (ivory and rubber out; guns, ammo, and whips in) and blew everything wide open is a Hero who should get his own holiday.
Six Chex And A Cat Named Caulfield In Search Of A Punchline: How the cast of “Frazzhole” see people not obsessed with exercise.
@GarrisonSkunk: https://comicskingdom.com/safe-havens is the only location I can pull it reliably with the work-protected browser I’m using…
@Needless Exposition: “That’s right!” says Iris, the women who married a guy her son’s age.
@Ukulele Ike: #154: Lots of people in Belgium want to pull down all the statues of King Leopold II. I say leave them up but saw their hands off.
Strange how in less then a decade Belgium went from being an international pariah to poor, valiant little Belgium when the Germans curbstomped their asses in 1914.
MW: “My little friend is not so little anymore!”
If she now looks like Alice The Goon out of Popeye, I’ll take my hat off to Karen and June.
Luann: “blorp” is goldfish-ese for “IMPERIUS REX!”. Watch out, everyone in Luanntown!
MW: I wonder if Olive has ever seen a 60-year-old woman naked.
To be fair, Belgium itself had no input on the Congo until 1908, it was literally Leopold’s private spot until then.
@A Grave Mind: True, but things did not get appreciably better AFTER 1908. The beatings (and murderings) continued until Congolese rubber ceased to turn a profit. (The ivory was already long gone, turned into piano keys and babies’ rattles all over Europe and the Americas)
The Congo didn’t become independent of Belgium until 1960.
@Ukulele Ike: It’s interesting how Belgium and the Netherlands were probably the two most brutal colonial powers, but it’s been largely forgotten outside their former colonies.
@Rube: Yes, we CONTINUE to suffer here in New Amsterdam, under the iron fist of the fuckin’ Dutch.
Bagels and hot pastrami are reserved for wealthy tourists. For the rest of us, it’s erwtensoep, cocoa, and stroopwafels until you want to scream.