Short ‘n’ snippy
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Six Chix, 8/12/25
Why start now?
Judge Parker, 8/12/25
Come on, lady, everybody knows April. They didn’t even need to tell you her last name!
Rex Morgan, 8/12/25
Sad-sack sister here sounds like an AI spooling out yards of generic content: “different points of view” … “makes communication tough” … “not open to the idea” … “doesn’t want to accept” …. Out with it, girl: the guy’s a jerk!
Hi and Lois, 8/12/25
Hi and Lois tiptoes into Rex Morgan Secret Sibling territory. Careful reconnecting with your new half-brother, Dawg—I hear his sister is a real bitch.
—Uncle Lumpy
34 replies to “Short ‘n’ snippy”
Hi and Lois: “Hey, that dog looks just like Dawg! And its owner looks just like my mother. And my brother! Do we all have another family we don’t know about, or is half this neighborhood part of some big-cheeked, tiny-nosed genetic cloning experiment? And if so, how come I got Dad’s nose instead — that’s not fair! And also, not for the first time, what’s the deal with Uncle Beetle’s eyes, anyway?”
I’m loving Aksel’s body language, here. “Look, I just wanted to get with at least one of these chicks. It’s been like an hour, my manager is probably super pissed at me. Is this gonna take long? It’s gonna take long, isn’t it?”
Fortunately, being Scandinavia, he could probably toss it off as a Wellness Break, or something.
So Six Chix is trying to make a joke and failing about failing to try to make a joke. Now THERE, folks, is an ouroboros. Mindfreak!
Six Chix-You should consult your tummy brain for a joke.
FC-“Whoever made this stuff must be rather lazy to slap some new stuff on to make us think this is something new.”
RMMD-And thus the story ends here.
Not content to merely fail to make a joke in a cartoon about failing to make a joke – the cartoonist is also failing to deliver on the premise of presenting a random fact instead of a joke! Six Chix is on another level, guys. In the interests of completeness we could also point out how it’s failing to use the comics medium to do anything interesting visually that wouldn’t be conveyed just as well in plain dialogue, although that is par for the course.
Cartoonist’s brain: “Did you know there’s a guy who’s made himself immune to snake venom through a regimen of building up tolerance against multiple different poisons, and they’re using his blood to develop a revolutionary general antivenom, currently in the animal testing stage?”
Cartoonist’s page: *empty*
Cartoonist: “Damnit.”
There, I fixed it-
RMMD:
“We have very different points of view, and it makes communication tough.”
“Such as?”
“Well, I’m confident that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, but he insists that that’s a lot of nonsense!”
JP:
“Say, I’ve got an idea for the three of you! Let’s do a reprise of Three’s Company. Sophie, you’ll take the role of Suzanne Somers’ slightly ditzy ‘Chrissy.’ Aksel, you’ll be John Ritter’s snarky ‘Jack,’ tossing off Paul Lynde-like one-liners. And Reena, you’ll be Joyce DeWitt’s sensible, pragmatic ‘Janet’ !”
Aw gee, Uncle Lumpy, you beat me to the Six Chix comment.
Seriously, Bianca makes me reconsider the whole idea of ‘comic strip’
RMMD: Let it go, Cody. Not everyone wants a “bonus” sibling. You can always tap Lorna, Larry or Lorrie for a kidney.
MW: Just how “gifted” IS Olive? I have yet to see her levitate, go into a trance or throw a chair telekinetically. She’s pulled Mary from two already happening menaces. She didn’t predict them.
H&L: Trixie’s first experience with parallel universes.
GT: Given that these people barely look HUMAN, the whole gender point is kind of lost.
@Bob Tice:
Let’s also not discount Jonah’s continued embrace of Lysenkoist theories. The New Soviet Man is a myth, dude!
@Amelie Wikström: (Resist making a “The Princess Bride” reference… resist making a “The Princess Bride” reference…)
There I resisted making a reference towards the iconic scene between Cary Elwes and Wallace Shawn.
@The Rambling Otter: Dammit!
Beetle Bailey : Sgt Snorkel’s squad was never heard from again.
***********
Hagar the Horrible : …sure. Cowboys meet Vikings. Whatever.
***********
Hi & Lois : Dawg thinks : “Look, if you’re going to accuse ME of infidelity… Chip, Ditto and Dot are actually Thirsty’s. YOU’RE actually Abercrombie and Fitch’s.”
***********
Judge Parker : there’s going to turn out to be the added wrinkle that this lady thinks April Parker is FICTIONAL (within the Judge Parker’s universe) because of how absurd the Netflix series was.
She also thinks NEDDY is fictional, because no human could be that self-centered and shallow.
RxMD: You know, he’s one of those people, with the distinct hats….
Phantom: … who voted for the sore loser….
GT: ….hopefully, that sore loser won’t try again and actually win.
HTH: They missed. It should say “Welcome to Ki-Yay.”
6C: Bianca ran out of storyline with the sandwich romance?
Look, at least she’s being honest. Brooke ran out of storyline with 9CL, and he rebooted Pibgorn twice and has writer’s block for a year.
MW: It’s difficult having a child like Olive. It cuts into her parents fucking time.
Blondie The Neighborhood Bumstead has been brought to you by Hound-Os™,trusted maker of Puppy Uppers™, Doggy Downers™and now new Poochie Poppers™!
MW: get stuffed with the Olive is special bs. She is so special no one except creepy Mary likes her. What? Is she the kwisach Haderach? Is Creepy Mary a Bene Gesserat? This is beyond ridiculous.
(Reads Uncle Lumpy’s comment on Six Chix)
“Hello, police? I’d like to report a murder.”
6Chix: Not content to waive the artistic ability gatekeeping average people from drawing comics, the attempt to even be lightly amusing is also unnecessary.
RMMD:
“He said something about ‘“No one born of a forbidden union may enter the assembly of the Lord. Even to the tenth generation, none of his descendants may enter the assembly of the Lord.’
Actually, he’s kind of a dick.”
6Cx Boy, I thought this was just another stupid ‘meta’ joke, but then I saw that the artist is, in fact, an alien! So random!
JP Judging from her hand gestures, this woman knows April because of Dat Ass.
H&L Hey Trixie, did you notice that the woman also looks like your mom? And that all your friends and neighbours just look like subtle variants of your family? It’s really just the limitations of the art style…
Chix (sic): She needs to try a different direction. What’s the opposite of fucking a sandwich? Blowing a quiche?
Just spitballing here.
Hi and Lois floats the idea of secret off-panel children to distract from the plain-sight obvious fact that Chip is Thirsty’s child. Or the child of Thirsty’s secret brother, Fitch the garbageman. Or maybe that’s Abercrombie. Anyhow BigTed, Otherdawg’s owner doesn’t look that much like Lois–she’s smiling.
[and I found Six Chix relatable, haters]
Dawg looks so scared and upset at the idea of having another family somewhere. Well, duh — he was taken from his real family by you bipedal monsters!
Random Thought: In a world where fish are sentient. Would Blowfish be the prostitutes of the fish world?
JP: “We were merely talking about the month of April. We’re all tax attorneys, you see. But now that you’ve mentioned April Parker, you have essentially confessed to killing the Pope. (speaking into lapel mic) We have what we need. Move in.”
Judge Parker: You know that this takes place in Scandinavia, as that is the most Ikea looking room I’ve ever seen.
@The Rambling Otter: Iocaine can produce perfect breasts? And I thought Botox did wonders for beauty augmentation.
@Little Guy: “There’s so few perfect breasts in the world…”
Judge Parker: Yes, of course they know April! The global population consists of the Spencer-Driver-Parker clan, and those who exist to serve them and/or advance their narratives, didn’t you know that? Seems like someone in the espionage world would know.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: I regret to inform you that this is a perfectly realistic scenario and a fairly accurate depiction of how people will use circumlocution to avoid telling you that their family member is a complete asshole. I know, I know. Rex Morgan, M.D. is on the nose. I’m afraid too.