Saturday is for death
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Beetle Bailey, 9/6/25
Hmm, Sarge managed to knock himself unconscious after landing on his tailbone, presumably from some shockwave that went up his spine, and now he’s got X’s for eyes? He’s dead, dude. He’s super duper dead!
Marvin, 9/6/25
Hmm, a jellyfish that’s not in the water, and is all brown and stiff? Mr. Squishy (name now inaccurate) is also super duper dead, kid, I regret to inform you!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/6/25
Cody’s newly discovered rageoholic half brother is not super duper dead, but thanks to his recent massive heart attack, he’s not what you’d call super duper alive either. Anyway, what is super duper dead is probably Cody’s chance of forming a bond with this part of his newfound family. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! I’m telling tough truths to everyone in the funnies today!
39 replies to “Saturday is for death”
Mary Worth Mashups: A few missing final panels as food for thought.
RMMD:
“Doctor, before we chat about my brother, though, has anyone ever told you that you look like a midlife John Cale?”
RMMD:
“Can I see the leafblower? — is it okay?”
I think the joke is supposed to be “Sarge is fat,” but the water was about an inch deep. Killer and Beetle committed a convoluted fragging.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Unfortunately, Jonah will now feel indebted to Cory and want to be his friend. If they want to follow a lame Gomer Pyle plot (which was previously done on the Andy Griffith Show), they could have Jonah devote his life to serving Cory to the point that it’s a pain in the ass and Cory has to rig up something so that Jonah will save his life and then they’ll be even.
RMMD:
“I don’t think he’ll want to see me.”
“Precisely! — so go in there and finish the job!”
Marvin: That jellyfish is both dead and lucky that it no longer gets to be a Marvin character.
MW: Mary knew that it was a good idea to take Toby’s stash of quaaludes and put them in Ed and Evy’s food.
RMMD: It’s a shame that Cody’s not on Mary Worth because she would give him the tasteful advice of considering the possibility of suicide.
All week Cody’s brother-in-law has been standing around looking grave and all I can think is “Why are you wearing a short-sleeved turtleneck?”
Phantom:
“WHAM!!!’
“Unh…losing consciousness…apropos of which — and speaking of ‘Wham’ — wake me up before you go-go, okay?”
Marvin: “Kiddie Corral”? No wonder we can’t see who’s watching this — it isn’t other children, but aliens who are disgusted by seeing two different types of Earth creatures interact in this human zoo.
Beetle Bailey: Sarge doesn’t even look all that overweight with his shirt off — are we really supposed to believe he could empty an entire pond just by jumping into it? I’d say this was just a gag in which Beetle knew there was only half an inch of water over solid ground — but that would be a heinous (and court-martial-worthy) offense, and still wouldn’t explain the fish.
Hi and Lois: Thirsty’s only sober pleasure in life is a weekend morning playing golf — and it turns out he hates that too! Whelp, back to the booze.
BB: when I went through a law enforcement academy, many moons ago, one of my classmates who was similar in build to Sarge fell off a rope obstacle, landed similarly to how Sarge did here, and I think he broke his hip–at any rate, he wasn’t in my class anymore.
Anyway, Beetle and Killer are going to be in a lot of trouble when it’s discovered that they abandoned a badly injured Sarge to his fate.
MW: Olive and Mary plead their cause while the entire family changes seats in their nightly dinner game of Musical Chairs.
RMMD: “What is super duper dead is Cody’s chance of forming a band with this part of his newfound family”
That’s how I first read it which is also true, I guess.
Marvin:
So Marvin has brought a Cnidaria
Into his school’s show-and-tell area
It’s nothing but squish:
This gross, spineless fish
Will no doubt produce mass hysteria!
You are in no position to talk Luann.
JP Well folks, it’s official, avocado toast is so over — as both a culinary trend and a wasreful-expense signifier — that it’s made it to the comics page.
FG So the Tournament of Mongo is an all-out melee where you’re not out until you’re at least so badly injured that there’s about a 90% death rate… and we’re still doing it with Ming out so it’s not some Hunger Games forced sacrifice… is there a Mongo version of the Star Wars “the Empire had a point” memes?
**wasteful-expense
MW: California!!!
The Golden Gate bridge! Giants! 49ers! Skiing at Lake Tahoe! Venice Beach! Hollywood! Rodeo Drive! Disneyland! Yosemite! Sequoias! Burning Man! Red Rock! The Getty museum! Surfing at Big Sur! Napa Valley! Palm Springs! FUN!
@18 Stacker: Yeah, like Mary’s bringing Olive to any of those places. Olive will see the interiors of the Old Lady Underewear Store, the Bland Food Restaurants, and the hideaways for those sexy sexy nights.
@Stacker: And watch as they do nothing but hang around in Charterstone with the stench of mayonnaise, Ben-Gay, and death licking at Olive’s nostrils. Mary’s certainly not going to pay to entertain her “kindred spirit” outside of her salmon-scented home.
Marvin: Plus, a jellyfish could probably kill a kid that age, so it’s just as well it’s dead.
RMMD: “Can I see my bother?”
“Briefly. It might help for him to see a familiar face. If my theories are correct, peek-a-boo therapy just might cure him!”
Marvin: The boy’s dismay turns to glee as Mr Squishy starts walking across the floor on the tips of its tentacles towards the shit talking kids.
Gil Thorpe- Size 11 feet? Yeah, they call me Big Dogs, so move it on over…..
MW: One problem with subscribing to the NY Times daily but not the magazine is that I missed the newest trend of kids taking a gap year between 9th and 10th grades.
@Unca Bob: “My sweet Babu has size 11 feet?”
“I am not your sweet Babu!”
@Baja Gaijin: “Olive, this is my favorite restaurant, the Bum Boat! And here’s Dr. Jeff!”
“Hello Dr. Jeff! Have you ordered your surf and turf yet?”
“It’s uncanny!”
MW: Quite the dilemma Ed’s facing. Forbid his young daughter from flying across the country with a creepy old groomer, or have weeks of uninterrupted sexy time. Ah, Who’m I kiddin’. Ed’s choosing sexy time.
@matt w: He’s got an onion on his belt too!
Well, Mary Worth, thanks for immediately addressing the question of whether the teenager would be sleeping in your bed. Not that anyone asked. . . .
@Charterstoned: I was thinking of the tea party in Alice in Wonderland where they just randomly rearrange the seating.
I can’t remember if that was in the book (been ages since I read it) but I do recall that being in the Disney adaptation.
RMMD: Mr Lorna is totally stoned and just chillin’ in the background.
“Hey Doc!! You know what’s good for the heart? Beans!!! Hah, hah, hah“
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: Of course Mary has a spare bedroom, in case her relatives visit. Let’s see, according to wikipedia we last saw her son and grandson in… 1963. And her cousin in… 1970. Might want to air out the room and change the sheets.
RMMD: I’ve come to find Cody extremely slappable, so it irks the crap out of me that of course, Jonah will want to see him, so that he can feebly whisper, ” You…saved…my…life. My…brother.”
BB: Time for some Weekend at Sargey’s hijinks.
Marvin: It checks out that in this world, parents would give their children possibly lethal pets.
RMMD: Now Cody is going to have to prove his love further by donating his heart to Jonah.
@The Rambling Otter: The lack of visual continuity in this strip is often disturbing, sometimes on a subliminal level. But I love the absurd scenarios that spring to mind from seeing the disjointed images. Yesterday’s strip, with everyone’s hands under the table, reminded me of a family we knew growing up. The kids would surreptitiously hold hands under the table and then the last one would touch the dad as the kid at the other end would jam his fork into the electrical outlet.
FC: Watch out for werewolves!
MW: She’s going back to Cali. She’s going back to Cali. I don’t think so.
Dustin: Surprisingly, Kelley knows a thing or two about Axe Body Spray.
Luann: Is there supposed to be something inherently funny in the notion of a creator hating on their title character? I don’t get it.
CS: “That’s right. I didn’t even go out to mow the grass. The neighborhood kids thought my place was haunted.”
9CL: I’ve got to imagine durians are sweeter than this strip.
@Baja Gaijin: Nice, the look on Olive’s dad face – a wistful daydreamy look to his upper left is perfect for these musings!