Ha ha, TUESDAYS, amiright (statistically speaking, I’m probably right)
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Herb and Jamaal, 12/2/25
Usually when Herb and Jamaal does its “hilariously nonspecific” bit, it’s taking an actually quite specific scenario but changing proper nouns to generic ones for some reason. Today, though, they’re going actually nonspecific, in the sense that this could be about literally anything, as long as it’s intense and happens over the course of a Monday and the early part of a Tuesday, and I for one respect it.
Blondie, 12/2/25
Dagwood looks awfully shocked in panel three here, but I guess it makes sense that he’s unable to distinguish between “Thanksgiving leftovers, which many people end up with in their capacity as private individuals after the big holiday meal” and “food prepared by a restaurant and sold to paying customers.” After all, all comestables in his field of vision merely exist to be sucked down into his gullet so as to feed his infinite appetite, and he rarely makes distinctions among their economic origins or any of their other qualities, really.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/2/25
Oh, yeah, I haven’t been updating you on Rex Morgan, M.D.! It turns out Summer was really hurt that Auggie based the protagonist in his book on her without telling her, but then she finally finished the book and realized that said protagonist is actually super cool. Problem solved!
59 replies to “Ha ha, TUESDAYS, amiright (statistically speaking, I’m probably right)”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which Missing Final Panel would you prefer as canon?
Judge Parker Mashups: If you don’t like any of these Missing Final Panels, what would you put in the dialog box?
Blondie: Is Lou gripping that cup by the top, where it’s hottest? Look, we’ve seen your tattoo; you don’t have to prove you’re tough.
RMMD: “Not entirely you. She has much larger ahem, curves.”
“Is that what ‘Gyatt’ means?!”
MW: Sunny, read the room…!
@Baja Gaijin: Who doesn’t love a good casserole?
FC: Big Bill goes full Norman coordinate when he can’t parse whether Jeffy literally means the word “Me” or his given name “Jeffrey”.
RMMD:
“And that’s how you see me?”
“Nah. I objectify you. It’s the key to any successful romantic relationship!”
H&J Incredible that the managed to take the Lemon it’s Wednesday meme and make it twice and long and five times more vague…
Blondie That is Dagwood suddenly realizing that Lou does not eat food from his own diner, and coming to some troubling conclusions.
RMMD “I mean you’re not particularly brave…or smart…or the hero of your own story. But you’re blonde! I did say ‘blonde’, right? “
H&J: “Oh, man… You know we’re living in crazy times… When you say, “What a week”… and it takes you four panels to slowly express that very simple thought.”
Blondie: “You got any six-day old food? Does your disgusting filthy restaurant have any meat that’s just been sitting around since last Thursday? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, and a bit of violent food poisoning would do the job nicely.”
RMMD: “She’s not entirely like you: you’re cowardly, stupid and a passive nobody. But apart from that, you’re pretty similiar.”
BLONDIE: To be fair, when you’re talking to a short order cook while holding a menu in your hands, “Do you have any _____?” implies that you want to eat the _____ at this moment.
Also, diners automatically lose a star when the chef smuggles in lunch from home.
RMMD: “OK, you can write books, as long as I’m wildly flattered in all of them.”
MW: Which wild-eyed, screeching creature will Toby choose? The world holds its breath.
Blondie: “Got any leftovers? Cause I like to eat the food other customers leave on their plates…. I’m a very sick man.”
Blondie:
“Hi, kids, it’s Slylock Fox! Can you count the number of health code violations that you see in today’s Blondie panels — particularly in the slapdash assemblage of pans, cups and dishes shoved underneath the counter and in the smeared old food that’s all over the cook?”
SF: The left timeline seems like a much better universe than the right. People have more teeth, larger jewelry, they can afford eye care, and bandages are placed at a handsome angle. Not to mention that theater speakers have an extra sound channel, and Popeye is still the same lovable chain smoker.
Of course, both universes have three-toed Bluto, so neither are perfect. And our universe is no picnic either: ERNSE? I think he meant ERNSEC
Augie, Augie old adage: Know when to shut up.
Matt W’s Relationship Corner: When your girlfriend asks if you see her as brave and smart, try to scrape up a more effusive response than “Yeah — But.”
MW: Sunny’s already formed her opinion about Ian.
@MKay: RMMD: “OK, you can write books, as long as I’m wildly flattered in all of them.”
A science fiction book with the brave, smart heroine Divider Viscount.
H&J – This strip is SAD. Seasonal Affective Delicatessen….
Blondie – What? Ya think I’d eat the shit I serve here….
RMMD – I mean, she’s so awesome…she’d never date a loser wannabe writer…you know…like you do….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD:
“Of course she is. And actually, the plan here is for her to endure a series of travails with each succeeding book, kind of like ‘The Perils of Pauline.’ In a forthcoming installment, she’ll encounter a swarm of biting midges from the Cerotopogonidae family and will write a best-selling book about the experience called ‘A Day at the No-See-Ums,’ all of the copies of which will be snapped up by local socialite Dolly Wharfpoint!’ “
S4th: The way Ted’s blathering on, I hope Ronan’s place isn’t even a ‘pleasant split-level’. I hope it’s a tiny, one-bedroom apartment and the three of them have to share a single futon on the floor.
RMMD: Good grief, it’s like Beatty read the last Wilbur story and said ‘hold my beer…’
JP: ‘…Charlotte needs to learn that the cycle of trauma, abuse and pissy-facedness in this family will never end so long as we have breath in our bodies. We’re filing a restraining order against you so there’s no more inadvertent opportunities for happiness for her.’
Luann: Since mentally the characters are still in high school, can someone give this Sheldon knockoff a swirlie?
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Auggie looks so sad to tell Summer that he sees her as the hero of his novel. “Jesus,” he thinks. “I’m going to have to explain the concept of character as an intertextual cultural concept transcending the actant/actor dichotomy and indeed ‘identity’ as a socio-semiotic construct. It’s 2:00 a.m.! Couldn’t this wait until the morning?”
MW – You can tell Sunny’s pissed off by the way he holds that silent H for so long.
Blondie: This is much funnier if you read Lou’s lines in Adam Sandler’s “Thanksgiving Song” voice. Well, not funny, but funnier.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Better to do it now and then get home to grade papers.
Herb has been rewatching 30 Rocks, so he’s recycling the joke “Lemon, it’s Wednesday”. Herb has the decency not to say it out loud and claim the joke as his own, a decency the “Herb and Jamaal” writer lacks
Herb and Jamaal: Found your problem right here, Herb (Jamaal?): according to Daniel 9:27 God “will confirm a covenant with many for one week, but in the middle of the week he will put an end to sacrifice and offering” after a time of “great tribulation, unmatched from the beginning of the world until now, and never to be seen again.” You’ve entered the End Times, son, it’s natural to be confused. (The vagueness is a result of fallen human nature.)
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I suppose, if you’re up, you’re up. But I believe they are at his place?
RMMD We’re now back at he’s only inspired to write well by your travails, so watch your back, Summer!. Augie’s going to need you in peril to write the next “Autumn Rook” book, and if that needs some helping along, well, he’s come too far and used up too much of that sweet, sweet advance money to stop now – so beware of any dates on deserted old piers and such…
DT Somehow nobody examining this souped-up car ever touched that knob before and Tracy is about to discover it’s a Transformer-killbot
JP I didn’t know “depression” sounded so much like clinking barware and sloshing bottles…
Anymore, it seems like the only drama in Rex Morgan, MD is whether there will be any drama. How many times have we said “Phew, something interesting almost happened there!”?
Again, Pluggers goes from “Everybody in the world is a Plugger” to “Three people in the entire world are Pluggers.”
Blondie:
Is Dagwood going to put that coffee cup up against his lips after Cook smeared his greasy hand all over the top of it in placing the cup in front of Dagwood?
Rhetorical question.
“Rex Morgan MD” might not provide useful medical information to readers but it provides useful information nonetheless: put that girl in your art and she will put out for you!
Also Rex Morgan! “Listen, when I texted you ‘semiotic theory and chill?’ this is not what I had in mind.”
@Baja Gaijin:
Mary Worth – definitely the first frame – with an ultra realistic talon attack!
For JP: suggest (1) “Oh Neddy, Alan, Alan has the heartbreak of psoriasis!” (2) “Alan has left me and is now following a Grateful Dead Tribute Band”, (3) “Oh Neddy, Alan is now Elaine”
MW: Augie keeps stepping in it.
Luann: Strike now Bernice. Alan is not just wrong. He is technically way wrong. The day-month-year order is used in Europe, Asia, Africa and South America – so much more than 8% of countries! Strike hard and finish him Bernice!
Crankshaft – Is Crank really the pizza box guy?
Bizarro – nice gag left unsaid (SIS, DAD, MOM) and Bro wants in!
DT – What is that gizmo next to the parking brake handle – ? Cell phone holder ?
JP – “Oh Neddy, Alan is now Elaine”
Phantom – No wonder General Chuma is in trouble. Henchmen today just don’t want to work. This guy has a gun – ? a self-loading rifle ? and he is scared of a guy in striped shorts? The dog is worrisome but c’mon, this is the life you signed up for.
GT – Gil being a jerk (again)
RMMD: Everything is going fine but right there in Frame 3 is where Augie blows it. In Frame 4 off screen he elaborates that Autumn is indeed Smarter, Braver, and more Heroic all with capitals then Summer, but she is blonde and stacked. Hilarity ensues, and finally RMMD gets to appear in his own strip by tending to the deep slap wound to Augie’s face.
MW: If only Ian understood parrot, he and Sunny would get along famously.
SCREECHHH! (move your fucking head so I can see, dummy.)
Herb & Jamal: I’ve never had a comic strip character tell me, “Wow, a lot happened here, guess you missed our zany hijinks,” in a depressed monotone while also treating his current situation like a joke.
That’s wild. It sounds like I’m describing Judge Parker, but I’m not.
RXMD: And Augie fumbles at the 1.
Blondie-And plenty of Health Inspector left.
FC-Young Jeffy Keane turning out another classic comic.
Chix (sic): “Is it the entire cast of Frankenstein?” She asks desperately hoping Xunise isn’t going to start fucking the pizza.
@GrafSpee: If CNA is in good shape, it may be worth some money. I got rid of Jutland, lacking the requisite basketball court upon which to play it properly.
“She’s kind of you, but not entirely you. Autumn puts out.”
Business idea: Start a restaurant where we can scrape uneaten food off of plates and sell it again later to Dagwood Bumstead.
***
Hey, Herb and Jamaal… yeah.
***
She’s not entirely like you. She lives in a world where it’s about the title character and not about retro hipsters for some strange reason. Could you imagine?
RMMD — For heaven’s sake, Augie, put those graduate school English courses on poststructuralism to some good use for the first time in your life and calmly explain how the text is an area of freeplay and the author has no centered right to an ur-interpretation within the always already existing structures of power mediated through the cultural norms of (late-stage) capitalism! The girls fall for that every time!
MW: Sunny the parrot (translated): “I’d llike to build a nest in your beard.”
@Baja Gaijin: Can you do a panel where Ian wakes up and finds Sunny hovering over him with a pillow? Or a knife, I’m not picky.
@Voshkod: It is funny how things have come full circle. Wargaming for hobbyists (not the professional kriegspiel) started out as miniatures, then evolved into board wargaming but games like Tobruk, Panzerblitz, Squad Leader and Jutland, it is basically miniatures on cardboard! Cheaper then the figures/models and no painting!
Pluggers: That’s right. Only pluggers own and wear hats. The rest of us hoi-poloi go bareheaded in the rain or risk sun-induced skin cancer.
CS: Busiest time of the year? Couldn’t tell that by looking at your place devoid of customers, Pete.
@Voshkod: It is funny how things have come full circle. Wargaming for hobbyists (not the professional kriegspiel) started out as miniatures, then evolved into board wargaming but games like Tobruk, Panzerblitz, Squad Leader and Jutland, it is basically miniatures on cardboard! Cheaper then the figures/models and no painting!
RMMD- “She doesn’t wear stupid looking glasses”.
Blondie- at first I was wondering why Dagwood would eat at a greasy spoon when his wife is such a great cook. But I figure there must never be leftovers in the Bumstead house.
@Little Guy: Exactly, that look and the finger are just perfect. Tip of the hat to the artist!
@Voshkod: Considering it’s *Augie* begging off to grade homework instead of having *Summer* come over, I don’t think that’s the difference
Augie should just explain to Summer that, in accordance with their namesake seasons, she is hot and boring whereas Autumn is cool and interesting.
RMMD: Now that she’s at his place, will he offer her some “coffee?”
Blondie: Today is officially the day Thanksgiving leftovers begin to spoil, so Dagwood is running a serious risk of food-borne illness here. Or he would be if this wasn’t Dagwood we’re talking about–the man’s gut microbiome must resemble those organisms that live in geothermal springs, thriving in conditions that would kill most other forms of life.
RMMD: “Let me put it this way: are you familiar with the concept of a ‘Mary Sue’?”
Luann:
Bernice: Is the USA one of those 8% of all countries?
Allen: Yes, why?
Bernice: Then fuck you, you commie, one-worlder dickwad. Don’t you follow the news? It’s America first! Whoo-hoo! USA! USA!
RMMD: I’m trying to imagine how Summer would be made the hero of the stalking story. That is, I can imagine such a story – it’s getting from “sat in her house and later found out someone else killed the stalker” to “hero” that’s puzzling me.
Luann:
Bernice is going to bang this little nerd, just to turn his entire life upside down, isn’t she?
Also, the little nerd is right about ISO-8601 date format. 2025-12-02 for the win.