Ha ha, TUESDAYS, amiright (statistically speaking, I’m probably right)
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Herb and Jamaal, 12/2/25
Usually when Herb and Jamaal does its “hilariously nonspecific” bit, it’s taking an actually quite specific scenario but changing proper nouns to generic ones for some reason. Today, though, they’re going actually nonspecific, in the sense that this could be about literally anything, as long as it’s intense and happens over the course of a Monday and the early part of a Tuesday, and I for one respect it.
Blondie, 12/2/25
Dagwood looks awfully shocked in panel three here, but I guess it makes sense that he’s unable to distinguish between “Thanksgiving leftovers, which many people end up with in their capacity as private individuals after the big holiday meal” and “food prepared by a restaurant and sold to paying customers.” After all, all comestables in his field of vision merely exist to be sucked down into his gullet so as to feed his infinite appetite, and he rarely makes distinctions among their economic origins or any of their other qualities, really.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/2/25
Oh, yeah, I haven’t been updating you on Rex Morgan, M.D.! It turns out Summer was really hurt that Auggie based the protagonist in his book on her without telling her, but then she finally finished the book and realized that said protagonist is actually super cool. Problem solved!
151 replies to “Ha ha, TUESDAYS, amiright (statistically speaking, I’m probably right)”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which Missing Final Panel would you prefer as canon?
Judge Parker Mashups: If you don’t like any of these Missing Final Panels, what would you put in the dialog box?
Blondie: Is Lou gripping that cup by the top, where it’s hottest? Look, we’ve seen your tattoo; you don’t have to prove you’re tough.
RMMD: “Not entirely you. She has much larger ahem, curves.”
“Is that what ‘Gyatt’ means?!”
MW: Sunny, read the room…!
@Baja Gaijin: Who doesn’t love a good casserole?
FC: Big Bill goes full Norman coordinate when he can’t parse whether Jeffy literally means the word “Me” or his given name “Jeffrey”.
RMMD:
“And that’s how you see me?”
“Nah. I objectify you. It’s the key to any successful romantic relationship!”
H&J Incredible that the managed to take the Lemon it’s Wednesday meme and make it twice and long and five times more vague…
Blondie That is Dagwood suddenly realizing that Lou does not eat food from his own diner, and coming to some troubling conclusions.
RMMD “I mean you’re not particularly brave…or smart…or the hero of your own story. But you’re blonde! I did say ‘blonde’, right? “
H&J: “Oh, man… You know we’re living in crazy times… When you say, “What a week”… and it takes you four panels to slowly express that very simple thought.”
Blondie: “You got any six-day old food? Does your disgusting filthy restaurant have any meat that’s just been sitting around since last Thursday? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, and a bit of violent food poisoning would do the job nicely.”
RMMD: “She’s not entirely like you: you’re cowardly, stupid and a passive nobody. But apart from that, you’re pretty similiar.”
BLONDIE: To be fair, when you’re talking to a short order cook while holding a menu in your hands, “Do you have any _____?” implies that you want to eat the _____ at this moment.
Also, diners automatically lose a star when the chef smuggles in lunch from home.
RMMD: “OK, you can write books, as long as I’m wildly flattered in all of them.”
MW: Which wild-eyed, screeching creature will Toby choose? The world holds its breath.
Blondie: “Got any leftovers? Cause I like to eat the food other customers leave on their plates…. I’m a very sick man.”
Blondie:
“Hi, kids, it’s Slylock Fox! Can you count the number of health code violations that you see in today’s Blondie panels — particularly in the slapdash assemblage of pans, cups and dishes shoved underneath the counter and in the smeared old food that’s all over the cook?”
SF: The left timeline seems like a much better universe than the right. People have more teeth, larger jewelry, they can afford eye care, and bandages are placed at a handsome angle. Not to mention that theater speakers have an extra sound channel, and Popeye is still the same lovable chain smoker.
Of course, both universes have three-toed Bluto, so neither are perfect. And our universe is no picnic either: ERNSE? I think he meant ERNSEC
Augie, Augie old adage: Know when to shut up.
Matt W’s Relationship Corner: When your girlfriend asks if you see her as brave and smart, try to scrape up a more effusive response than “Yeah — But.”
MW: Sunny’s already formed her opinion about Ian.
@MKay: RMMD: “OK, you can write books, as long as I’m wildly flattered in all of them.”
A science fiction book with the brave, smart heroine Divider Viscount.
H&J – This strip is SAD. Seasonal Affective Delicatessen….
Blondie – What? Ya think I’d eat the shit I serve here….
RMMD – I mean, she’s so awesome…she’d never date a loser wannabe writer…you know…like you do….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD:
“Of course she is. And actually, the plan here is for her to endure a series of travails with each succeeding book, kind of like ‘The Perils of Pauline.’ In a forthcoming installment, she’ll encounter a swarm of biting midges from the Cerotopogonidae family and will write a best-selling book about the experience called ‘A Day at the No-See-Ums,’ all of the copies of which will be snapped up by local socialite Dolly Wharfpoint!’ “
S4th: The way Ted’s blathering on, I hope Ronan’s place isn’t even a ‘pleasant split-level’. I hope it’s a tiny, one-bedroom apartment and the three of them have to share a single futon on the floor.
RMMD: Good grief, it’s like Beatty read the last Wilbur story and said ‘hold my beer…’
JP: ‘…Charlotte needs to learn that the cycle of trauma, abuse and pissy-facedness in this family will never end so long as we have breath in our bodies. We’re filing a restraining order against you so there’s no more inadvertent opportunities for happiness for her.’
Luann: Since mentally the characters are still in high school, can someone give this Sheldon knockoff a swirlie?
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Auggie looks so sad to tell Summer that he sees her as the hero of his novel. “Jesus,” he thinks. “I’m going to have to explain the concept of character as an intertextual cultural concept transcending the actant/actor dichotomy and indeed ‘identity’ as a socio-semiotic construct. It’s 2:00 a.m.! Couldn’t this wait until the morning?”
MW – You can tell Sunny’s pissed off by the way he holds that silent H for so long.
Blondie: This is much funnier if you read Lou’s lines in Adam Sandler’s “Thanksgiving Song” voice. Well, not funny, but funnier.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Better to do it now and then get home to grade papers.
Herb has been rewatching 30 Rocks, so he’s recycling the joke “Lemon, it’s Wednesday”. Herb has the decency not to say it out loud and claim the joke as his own, a decency the “Herb and Jamaal” writer lacks
Herb and Jamaal: Found your problem right here, Herb (Jamaal?): according to Daniel 9:27 God “will confirm a covenant with many for one week, but in the middle of the week he will put an end to sacrifice and offering” after a time of “great tribulation, unmatched from the beginning of the world until now, and never to be seen again.” You’ve entered the End Times, son, it’s natural to be confused. (The vagueness is a result of fallen human nature.)
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I suppose, if you’re up, you’re up. But I believe they are at his place?
RMMD We’re now back at he’s only inspired to write well by your travails, so watch your back, Summer!. Augie’s going to need you in peril to write the next “Autumn Rook” book, and if that needs some helping along, well, he’s come too far and used up too much of that sweet, sweet advance money to stop now – so beware of any dates on deserted old piers and such…
DT Somehow nobody examining this souped-up car ever touched that knob before and Tracy is about to discover it’s a Transformer-killbot
JP I didn’t know “depression” sounded so much like clinking barware and sloshing bottles…
Anymore, it seems like the only drama in Rex Morgan, MD is whether there will be any drama. How many times have we said “Phew, something interesting almost happened there!”?
Again, Pluggers goes from “Everybody in the world is a Plugger” to “Three people in the entire world are Pluggers.”
Blondie:
Is Dagwood going to put that coffee cup up against his lips after Cook smeared his greasy hand all over the top of it in placing the cup in front of Dagwood?
Rhetorical question.
“Rex Morgan MD” might not provide useful medical information to readers but it provides useful information nonetheless: put that girl in your art and she will put out for you!
Also Rex Morgan! “Listen, when I texted you ‘semiotic theory and chill?’ this is not what I had in mind.”
@Baja Gaijin:
Mary Worth – definitely the first frame – with an ultra realistic talon attack!
For JP: suggest (1) “Oh Neddy, Alan, Alan has the heartbreak of psoriasis!” (2) “Alan has left me and is now following a Grateful Dead Tribute Band”, (3) “Oh Neddy, Alan is now Elaine”
MW: Augie keeps stepping in it.
Luann: Strike now Bernice. Alan is not just wrong. He is technically way wrong. The day-month-year order is used in Europe, Asia, Africa and South America – so much more than 8% of countries! Strike hard and finish him Bernice!
Crankshaft – Is Crank really the pizza box guy?
Bizarro – nice gag left unsaid (SIS, DAD, MOM) and Bro wants in!
DT – What is that gizmo next to the parking brake handle – ? Cell phone holder ?
JP – “Oh Neddy, Alan is now Elaine”
Phantom – No wonder General Chuma is in trouble. Henchmen today just don’t want to work. This guy has a gun – ? a self-loading rifle ? and he is scared of a guy in striped shorts? The dog is worrisome but c’mon, this is the life you signed up for.
GT – Gil being a jerk (again)
RMMD: Everything is going fine but right there in Frame 3 is where Augie blows it. In Frame 4 off screen he elaborates that Autumn is indeed Smarter, Braver, and more Heroic all with capitals then Summer, but she is blonde and stacked. Hilarity ensues, and finally RMMD gets to appear in his own strip by tending to the deep slap wound to Augie’s face.
MW: If only Ian understood parrot, he and Sunny would get along famously.
SCREECHHH! (move your fucking head so I can see, dummy.)
Herb & Jamal: I’ve never had a comic strip character tell me, “Wow, a lot happened here, guess you missed our zany hijinks,” in a depressed monotone while also treating his current situation like a joke.
That’s wild. It sounds like I’m describing Judge Parker, but I’m not.
RXMD: And Augie fumbles at the 1.
Blondie-And plenty of Health Inspector left.
FC-Young Jeffy Keane turning out another classic comic.
Chix (sic): “Is it the entire cast of Frankenstein?” She asks desperately hoping Xunise isn’t going to start fucking the pizza.
@GrafSpee: If CNA is in good shape, it may be worth some money. I got rid of Jutland, lacking the requisite basketball court upon which to play it properly.
“She’s kind of you, but not entirely you. Autumn puts out.”
Business idea: Start a restaurant where we can scrape uneaten food off of plates and sell it again later to Dagwood Bumstead.
***
Hey, Herb and Jamaal… yeah.
***
She’s not entirely like you. She lives in a world where it’s about the title character and not about retro hipsters for some strange reason. Could you imagine?
RMMD — For heaven’s sake, Augie, put those graduate school English courses on poststructuralism to some good use for the first time in your life and calmly explain how the text is an area of freeplay and the author has no centered right to an ur-interpretation within the always already existing structures of power mediated through the cultural norms of (late-stage) capitalism! The girls fall for that every time!
MW: Sunny the parrot (translated): “I’d llike to build a nest in your beard.”
@Baja Gaijin: Can you do a panel where Ian wakes up and finds Sunny hovering over him with a pillow? Or a knife, I’m not picky.
@Voshkod: It is funny how things have come full circle. Wargaming for hobbyists (not the professional kriegspiel) started out as miniatures, then evolved into board wargaming but games like Tobruk, Panzerblitz, Squad Leader and Jutland, it is basically miniatures on cardboard! Cheaper then the figures/models and no painting!
Pluggers: That’s right. Only pluggers own and wear hats. The rest of us hoi-poloi go bareheaded in the rain or risk sun-induced skin cancer.
CS: Busiest time of the year? Couldn’t tell that by looking at your place devoid of customers, Pete.
@Voshkod: It is funny how things have come full circle. Wargaming for hobbyists (not the professional kriegspiel) started out as miniatures, then evolved into board wargaming but games like Tobruk, Panzerblitz, Squad Leader and Jutland, it is basically miniatures on cardboard! Cheaper then the figures/models and no painting!
RMMD- “She doesn’t wear stupid looking glasses”.
Blondie- at first I was wondering why Dagwood would eat at a greasy spoon when his wife is such a great cook. But I figure there must never be leftovers in the Bumstead house.
@Little Guy: Exactly, that look and the finger are just perfect. Tip of the hat to the artist!
@Voshkod: Considering it’s *Augie* begging off to grade homework instead of having *Summer* come over, I don’t think that’s the difference
Augie should just explain to Summer that, in accordance with their namesake seasons, she is hot and boring whereas Autumn is cool and interesting.
RMMD: Now that she’s at his place, will he offer her some “coffee?”
Blondie: Today is officially the day Thanksgiving leftovers begin to spoil, so Dagwood is running a serious risk of food-borne illness here. Or he would be if this wasn’t Dagwood we’re talking about–the man’s gut microbiome must resemble those organisms that live in geothermal springs, thriving in conditions that would kill most other forms of life.
RMMD: “Let me put it this way: are you familiar with the concept of a ‘Mary Sue’?”
Luann:
Bernice: Is the USA one of those 8% of all countries?
Allen: Yes, why?
Bernice: Then fuck you, you commie, one-worlder dickwad. Don’t you follow the news? It’s America first! Whoo-hoo! USA! USA!
RMMD: I’m trying to imagine how Summer would be made the hero of the stalking story. That is, I can imagine such a story – it’s getting from “sat in her house and later found out someone else killed the stalker” to “hero” that’s puzzling me.
Luann:
Bernice is going to bang this little nerd, just to turn his entire life upside down, isn’t she?
Also, the little nerd is right about ISO-8601 date format. 2025-12-02 for the win.
@CanuckDownSouth: Ah, but that assumes I read Rex Morgan on days Josh doesn’t feature it. Which I do not. I like myself too much to endure that.
RMMD – “She’s kind of like you, but not exactly like you. For one thing, she’s got bigger tits. But it’s never mentioned, so I guess I’m the only one who knows that “
REX MORGAN M.D.: Summer: “And that’s how you see me? A person who spends the week asking the same inane question over and over again in slight remixed form? And listens to the same vague nebulous non-answer over and over again, also in slightly remixed form?”
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): You can tell that “Autumn” is the “smart, brave hero of the story” by the way she desperately needs a man to validate her self-worth.
@TK: RMMD- #14. And don’t stick that finger up your nose.
@Voshkod#42:
@treetown: #50:
One good thing about the Avalon Hill “Barbarossa” game was that it included all of the units of the minor Axis countries that took part in the Russia invasion. Whenever we wanted to play a short game we’d do a hypothetical border war between Hungary and Romania.
Frankly this seems entirely Lou’s fault. If I am at a restaurant and ask if they have a certain food, the expectation is that I am asking about the menu, not doing chit-chat
@Ken: Request-a-Mashup! Could Mary present a Parrot Casserole?
Crankshaft : …Outside of Mopey Pete, Mindy and the Pizza Box Monster, who works at Montoni’s now? Because “one of us has to stay behind to man the store on the busiest days of the year” notwithstanding, a bowling team is supposed to have FOUR members… and there’s only three of them?
***********
Luann :
1. IMHO, this would have worked better if Bernice had written the date as YEAR-DAY-MONTH or MONTH-DAY-YEAR. A “You wrote it was November 10 when it was really October 11!” thing, you know?
2. So, Alan is to Bernice what Steffi is to Tiffany, right? A character that’s an even worse caricature putting the former caricature through Hell by making her the victim of the stuff she used to unleash on the rest of the cast?
*********
Rex Morgan M.D. : “And that’s how you see me?” would have hit harder if they had gone the route I had predicted, with all the gratuitous buttshots.
Using someone’s traumatic experience as fodder for your hack novel? Not a problem as long as you make the protagonist cool as hell!
BCN: I mean, I would have just said “I’ve literally just come to the part where Dickens describes Scrooge’s appearance in poetic detail, so close your eyes and think of the sort of person he’s talking about.” Then again, I’m not a semi-anthropomorphic cat who works as an anchor and has complete written fluency in English, so….
C’shaft: I would think being dressed like a low-res Michelin Man would really mess up your approach.
Dustin: Aaaaaand yep, the game isn’t even completely set up yet and Dustdad is criticizing his son. This is gonna be a fuuuuuun week.
FG: So this is what, a triple-cross? Or are we assuming Ming is involved, making this a quadruple-cross? Geez, the backstabbing in Game of Thrones was less involved.
GT: Look, Gil, I know that 90% of the Milford budget is your salary, but Jesus Christ have a bit of respect for school property!
JP: “Depression,” uh-huh. More like the “dark” responsible for Alan’s mood is the Woodford Reserve Double-Oaked he’s been downing since this morning.
Luann: Alan’s not as smart as he looks/thinks–“day/month/year” is by far the most widely utilized format by country, with “year/month/day” a distant second, and even then many places utilize it mostly in official settings like government documents. And since the US is one of the vanishingly few countries that primarily employs “month/day/year” the entire point is moot. I can only assume Alan is bringing it up because he wants to tie the whole thing back to eggs, which means we can look forward to references to Dr. Seuss, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Jim Davis’ obscure side project US Acres.
MW: Toby, you should have known that it was a bad idea to spring a surprise on a temperamental, poorly socialized creature like that! And Sunny doesn’t seem to be taking the situation well either!
Phantom: The Ghost Who Takes Misquoting Hamilton Very, Very Seriously
RMMD: “She’s kind of you, but not entirely you. For example, if she found out that a character in a novel was based on her, she would get over it pretty quickly.”
H&J-Next time you order meat make sure it’s already been killed and cleaned.
Luann-Nope, Bernice. You’ve got two weeks of this.
RMMD: “She’s not entirely you. For instance, as soon as she leaves the room, people don’t all ridicule her hairdo.”
Gasoline Alley: Those fellows have extension cords with 240v connectors?
Luann: That’s mighty swift of Alan.
GT: Hey, I had a GilTronic shortwave radio when I was a kid. Nice to see they’ve changed with the times.
BG&SS: No, Loweezy, the patches are sewn on direct at the factory. Those Honduran six-year-olds really know their market.
DtM: Hey, edgelords, Dennis has been menacing since you were in diapers. Tune in all week to see Dennis idolize Alex from A Clockwork Orange, Tyler Durden in Fight Club, and D-Fens in Falling Down.
@Guillermo el chiclero: That was a great part of many of those games. One company had a compatible system for World War II and Cold War operations scenarios, so you could play Final Countdown-like scenarios with the Afrika Corps against the 5th ACR.
RMMD- She’s kind of you, but not entirely you. For one thing,you have glasses and a pony tail. She has a lasso of truth and an invisible jet plane. Not to mention a ginger landing strip.
Luann- This kid must be a rear-endian.
“For one thing, Autumn would never be perceptive enough to figure out if her writer boyfriend was using her as inspiration for a character, and for another, when you chew ice, laugh weird, or leave the lights on every time you leave a room, it’s totally an endearing quirk and not at all something I had to vent about in fiction to exhaust my desire to strangle you.”
FC – As they say in the sports world, “You can’t spell ‘ME’ without ‘M-E.'”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Help, Abundio! Some thieves tied me up and I’m completely helpless!”
“Can you come here right away?”
“Sorry, we should have planned this scenario better…”
“I thought I was the one who was supposed to get tied up!”
@MKay: RMMD: “OK, you can write books, as long as I’m wildly flattered in all of them.”
_____________
—-Les Moore, esq.
@TheDiva: Re: Luann: I think Alan is trying to bring the discussion back to eggs because this dork is trying to subtly find out when Luann’s fertile period is (which would be when the “dating error” really starts.)
Look, buddy, we all get seasonal affective disorder this time of year, but stuffing your infinite void with rancid food from Lou’s suspect refrigeration unit just to feel something is not healthy, THE DAGWOOD. Try alcohol instead!
DT: These rednecks sure do love their hot rods, eh? Hotwire it and take it for a spin, Deputy Cooter.
@2+2=7:
Re: Luann: I think Alan is trying to bring the discussion back to eggs because this dork is trying to subtly find out when Luann’s fertile period is (which would be when the “dating error” really starts.)
That would be weirder and grosser, but less pathetic, than Alan being obsessed with the fact that Luann made him boiled eggs for lunch exactly once, and now he can’t stop thinking about what he believes is the best boiled egg recipe ever made
(while, knowing Luann, was probably actually the most incompetent way you can screw up boiling an egg)DUSTIN: Oh Dustin! You should have learned that when it comes to Wargames*, the only way to win is to not play.
*Also any activity with your father.
RMMD: “Not entirely you. I mean, I left out the really annoying aspects!”
CS: This is going to end with both teams winning a trophy, isn’t it?
@Anonymous: Unfortunately, I have to point out that yesterday’s strip already made clear that not only is Alan “in love” with Luann, but this “certifiable genius” (a guy who’s testicles probably haven’t even descended yet) really thinks a highly illegal relationship with her is actually possible (he’s clearly not using those big brains to get into law school, that’s for sure.)
It’s like the Evans’ are so used to having her get into kindergarten-like shenanigans, that they forget that physically, at least, Luann is an adult.
I look forward to the new plot twist at the end of Auggie’s book, where we find out that Autumn really is kind of a bitch and not worth the effort.
@Peanut Gallery:
¿Dónde está la elefanta? No estoy acusando; solo estoy haciendo preguntas.
@Anonymous: LUANN: 2. So, Alan is to Bernice what Steffi is to Tiffany, right? A character that’s an even worse caricature putting the former caricature through Hell by making her the victim of the stuff she used to unleash on the rest of the cast?
The difference being that Bernice still acts this way to the rest of the cast. Let’s not pretend that Bernice has undergone any character growth since her debit.
@Hibbleton: There was that old Garfield joke (and old joke in general)
Jon is at the diner, and points to the guy next to him “I’ll have what he’s having”
Irma the waitress takes the plate of food from the guy and places it in front of Jon.
Herb and Jamaal – Herb and Jamaal are trying to cash in on an under-appreciated hatred of Tuesday. Garfield owns Mondays, Wednesday is too branded as Hump Day, Thursday is Blursday, and and TGIF is still owned by ABC/Disney. But their non-specificity belies the lack of ambition to really seize the day.
Blondie – Dagwood struggles to come down from the high of an approved feast day. While the rest of us are focused on gift buying, decoration, and travel plans, Dagwood can only count the days until Christmas when he can eat an entire ham himself without judgement.
Rex Morgan, M.D. – Augie’s next book is going to star a dashing, handsome and multiskilled detective/spy who nevertheless manages to often bungle getting out of traps of his own making by running his stupid mouth. It will unintentionally be considered a comedic send-up of the genre, and make the very single Augie a literary star. The main character will kind of be like him, but not entirely him.
Crank: That seems like something they should have thought through in advance. Then again, the whole storyline of Mopey Pete buying Montoni’s seems like something that should have been thought through in advance. (By Pete or by Batty? Yes.)
JP: Okay, so here are the options as I see them:
1) “Because Charlotte seems much happier with you, maybe she shouldn’t be here for the holidays after all. The state Alan’s in, he probably wouldn’t even notice.”
2) “Because Charlotte seems much happier with you, I think it would be best if you never saw her again, so she can realise that she’s actually happier with us.”
3) “I was listening to the radio and the DJ said ‘Here’s a special request for all the folks in Cavelton’, then played ‘Bye Bye Baby’ and ‘April in Paris’. So I think it’s pretty clear that we’re supposed to take Charlotte to Paris, because that’s where April is.” (Or something equally daft.)
MW: “I knew that if I told you over the phone that I’d adopted a parrot, you’d make a snap judgement that you disapproved and insist we get rid of him! And for some reason, I thought that if your first indication we had a parrot was when he attacked you, you wouldn’t do that!”
@Violet: Mimosa/Cuddles knows that it’s impossible to discuss the elephant in the room if the elephant has left the room.
@Anonymous: LUANN: the fact that Luann made him boiled eggs for lunch exactly once
Your use of the plural makes it sound less weird and creepy than it actually was. Let’s be clear: Alan’s lunch was a single hardboiled egg. Not even on a plate: Luann just handed it to him. That doesn’t set off any red flags for anyone else?
@Bryan: I don’t read Luann anymore, since I had reached the point of “Man, could this get any stupider?”
Apparently it could.
Dennis the Menace Spanish to English.
@2+2=7: I’d recommend that Luann give Alan the same “what do you think is going to happen here?” speech Miss Cross gave Max Fischer in the movie Rushmore, but let’s be honest: 19-year-old Luann is even less mature than 15-year-old Max, so I doubt she could pull it off effectively.
@Rube: I don’t read Luann anymore, since I had reached the point of “Man, could this get any stupider?”
Apparently it could.
Perhaps it’s time to list all the things Moony does that seem a little odd for a (presumably public) university. Feel free to add to the list, people.
Moony University:
– Allows freshmen to serve as RA’s.
– Does not provide RA’s their own room to prevent conflict of interest, instead having them share rooms with non-RA’s that they’re expected to oversee.
– Allows dorm residents to keep dogs in the dorm.
– Has their cheerleaders wear their uniforms every day to class.
– Lets a 12-year-old attend classes without any outside adults present to monitor him.
– Has college-level biology assignments such as “draw a flower and label the parts.”
– Allows students to drop out (or at least skip half a semester to go on a road trip) and then just lets them move right back into their dorm room in the middle of the night like nothing happened.
– Does not solicit or accept donor money in exchange for building naming rights, instead relying on such catchy names as “Dorm Building A.”
Any others you’ve noticed?
REX MORGAN M.D.: I do love how checked-out Angie’s already getting with Summer’s oblivious wishy-washy bullshit. Like hrs already mentally preparing a follow-up where “Autumn” dies or get lost in a forest or something and the remainder of the series focuses on a newly single “Iggy.” (Augie: “Now there’s a guy who can grade a paper with the best of ’em! Hell, I might just make that the book’s tagline!”)
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): I think what’s really getting me about this whole arc is Summer’s ridiculously baffling inability to understand how fiction works. Like she thinks this is about “how the author sees you” and not the much more crucial “what a potential audience might find entertaining or exciting” and therefore is personalizing this way too much. (To be fair to her though, anyone in the Rex Morgan M.D. universe would be utterly unfamiliar with interesting or entertaining writing, so I guess I can’t blame here for her ignorance.)
RMMD: What’s the title of this novel? 500 Days of Autumn?
@Bryan: -Does not provide their star quarterback with private accommodations.
– Has stricter dorm rules than the United States Army.
@Rube: #104:
“Does not provide their star quarterback with private headquarters”
Or at least live at the frat house. It’s never been specified whether Moony is Greek or non-Greek but almost every Greek campus has an all-jock fraternity and the non-Greeks have an all-jock dormitory.
Dennis the Menace: “Mom can’t handle the truth! She ignores how my little rocker has worn through the carpet revealing the wood beneath, mute testament to years of punishing me for her denial of reality!”
Today’s Diamond Lil comic strikes home for me. With the exception of Aldi and their built-in incentive to get back your 25 cents, most store parking lots are littered with carts that people are too lazy to put in the cart corral. But it is mind boggling how far away some of the shopping carts manage to stray from my local Walmart. Mostly, they only make it as far as the bus stop, or the seedy apartment complex across the busy highway, but a few get much further.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Fair enough. I have little knowledge of American universities, but I am pretty sure that at a big school, a star jock doesn’t have to live with a bunch of roommates who don’t give him any privacy for humping cheerleaders.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: If she showed up at my door at 2 AM, I know what I’d be doing, and it sure wouldn’t be talking!
@Voshkod: #75: On that Barbarossa game we could also re-enact the 1939-40 Winter War between Russia and Finland, but to give the Finns a fighting chance and even the playing field a little we’d add the Hungarian or Italian units to their troop strength and pretend they’re Finnish.
@Bryan: Twelve years old…That’s some young Moony….
I figured out when Ian is so disturbed by Sunny’s presence. Ian realizes that “Sunny” is actually the reincarnation of his former rival, Prof. Aristotle Papagoras. They will soon have to fight to the death. After all, there can be only one Chinbeard.
@112 DAS:
Except Professor Papagoras had a full beard.
@Guillermo el chiclero: They fight with the Finnish, ’cause they’ve got their Spinnish, they’re Hungarian Army men.
@114 Voshkod:
Late Thread Cuisine: Surprise! A food that goes places!
Blondie: Obviously—as if there were any question about it—Dagwood has already consumed all the Thanksgiving leftovers at his house. His desperation will now lead him to raid neighbors’ houses.
RMMD: Augie is a true paragon in how he can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, and by “victory” I mean “sex.”
9CL: Polly and Lolly are once again creepy preteens at their parents’ horny feet because time is a flat bicycle tire.
C-Shaft: No, the Pizza Monster breaking the bonds of the Halloween season is not a miracle. Quite the opposite, in fact.
DtM: Henry Mitchell says a silent prayer to his Creator that the A Few Good Men riffing is only happening on one side, because if he has to hear Alice rant about how you want her on that wall, you need her on that wall, he’s going to have to take a long walk, perhaps into traffic.
DT: “Levels of illegal under the hood can’t be reverted?” From what language was this poorly translated?
Dustin: Take ten seconds to think about it and Dustin’s being a cauldron of barely sublimated violent rage is about as surprising as the sun rising in the east.
GT: Never has Gil shown such manic glee as when he drops that Etch-a-Sketch that somehow was supposed to have a football AI assistant loaded on it.
JP: Apparently there’s a restraining order preventing Alan Parker from coming within 500 feet of Charlotte. Who signed it? Alan Parker.
MW: Okay, well, but how surprised can you be that this is the opinion Ian formed? You know the man.
@DAS: Glad to know Prof. Papagoras has not been forgotten. And yeah, if there were ever a Mary Worth/Apartment 3-G crossover it would have ended with one of them taking an “accidental” tumble out an eighth floor window.
@Baja Gaijin: Good lord, aliens have colonized that pot roast.
@Baja Gaijin:
It goes right in the trash.
@Baja Gaijin: Look, I don’t mind blowtorches in the kitchen for crème brûlée, but I draw the line at the power drill used to make the channels for the olives.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
“Polly and Lolly are once again creepy preteens at their parents’ horny feet because time is a flat bicycle tire.”
This is a rerun from just two years ago so maybe Brooke found a pump somewhere.
@Anonymous: Ah, it’s hard to tell when Brooke goes to the rerun well because…of everything.
@116 Baja Gaijin:
Is the trash bin a place?
@Artist formerly known as Ben: re: DT: Funny, I had a similar thought.
”The entire NCPD motor pool is greenhorn immigrants freshly off the boat from Budapest.”
@120 Artist formerly known as Ben: It’s actually “Olive Surprise Roast.” No aliens involved.
@121 Anonymous: The trash is a a place that goods that go places, go.
@122 Ken: Even better, read the recipe linked above for placement of the olives. What the recipe doesn’t tell is why. Why shove olives up a butt roast?
@125 Sequitur: Yes. It’s a place. Do you really want that thing staring up at you from the trash bin, its plaintive olive eyes staring deep into your soul?
@Baja Gaijin: So that’s a boneless prime rib roast of beef, painfully overcooked? Not even all those carmelized onions will make that happen. What a waste of the juiciest and most expensive part of the cow.
On the other hand, sliced stuffed olives randomly toothpicked around the food is a sure sign of a classy kitchen. (Snaps gum)
@Baja Gaijin: Okay, I take that back. Rolled rump roast that’s been pot-roasted (braised).
It’s all right, then, brownish gray is perfectly acceptable for a pot roast.
@128 Baja Gaijin:
My trash bin has a cover. We empty it every day.
@130 Ukulele Ike: Rolled rump roast that’s been pot-roasted (braised). With olives shoved into it!
@131 Sequitur: Wise move, especially if that hunk o’beef were inside.
@Baja Gaijin: It looks like a nice pot roast, I have to say. I usually go for a piece of chuck when pot roast night rolls around, but on the basis of this I may try rump roast next time. And TELL people it’s a prime rib.
@Baja Gaijin: What I find most incomprehensible is the idea of taking it whole out to a tailgate, slicing and serving it balanced on the closed car trunk. Even with buns – it just doesn’t seem like a great sandwich filling. Especially sliced as thick as in the photo.
@133 Ukulele Ike: Are you going to stud it with green olives? That’ll get everyone talking.
@134 CanuckDownSouth: Read further in the recipe text. Serve it with homemade brownies. “Special” brownies. Everyone’ll munch ’em down!
@CanuckDownSouth: You’d definitely need a table, a lot of napkins, and probably a knife and fork. But a hot pot roast hero with carmelized onions and brown gravy is not a sandwich which toward one should sneeze. I agree the beef should be sliced thin as you can slice it.
@Sequitur: Thank you.
Six Chix – No, it’s the pizza chef who cuts a round pizza into square pieces. He’s a rebel!
FG: I called it from Day 1– Bones doesn’t betray her friends. (thank you, thank you)
JP: heard an interview with international journalist on NPR tonight. She routinely leaves her kids with hubby so she can spend months on a story. Guess Char’s troubles are common for lots of kids.
@138 Peanut Gallery: He’s a pizza chef who cuts thin crust pizza “tavern style.”
@Baja Gaijin:
#140. 6CX:
you made me look, you dirty crook
Stole your mother’s pocketbook
Turned it in, turned it out
Turned it into my self-doubt
So I revisited comic, and they are secretly eating a cookie pizza! Notice the candy corn on piece to our left and red jelly beans on table pizza. Edged in white frosting too. It’s not love, it’s a sugar rush!
@Lord Flatulence: MW: Augie keeps stepping in it.
_______________________________________________________
…and Doggy Daddy keeps saying:”Dats my boy dat said that!”
While we’re waiting for the Joshbot to drop Wednesday’s post, how about a Mary Worth Proposed Future Panel. Thanks to commenter Ken for the idea. I hope we see this panel in a real strip, real soon.
“It’s not a matter of how he grips it, it’s a matter of weight ratios!”
It’s a little funny how Josh made a big deal of mentioning Tuesday, then promptly forgot to schedule the Wednesday drop.
@Baja Gaijin: Nice, thanks.
@146 Ken: No, thank YOU! After I read your comment, I couldn’t wait to make it real.
@Baja Gaijin: How about one wth Sunny nesting in Ian’s beard, or his chest hair?
@148 Lord Flatulence: Good idea. I’m not sure if I have the correct clip art to support it. It may take a while to realize this idea.
Well, we have a snow day here, and apparently so does Josh…
BCN: Pretty accurate adaptation so far, all things considered…
C’shaft: Tom Batiuk is really, really proud of that “Margo Lanes” thing, isn’t he? He’s this close to having a character say, “Hey, did anyone realize the name of this bowling alley, ‘Margo Lanes,’ is almost identical to ‘Margo Lane,’ friend and confidant to the classic pulp fiction character The Shadow? Boy, I’ll bet the guy who came up with that must have a deep knowledge of popular culture and a sharp sense of humor!”
DT: “Criminals all have the same mindset.” Do they, though? I mean, practically every hood in Neo-Chicago has their own gimmick or personality quirk or vocabulary tic. Do you honestly think, say, Double-Up and Rikki Mortis are coming from the exact same headspace?
Dustin: And now we se why Dustdad was so eager to have some quality time with his son: he’s certain it will end in a blood sacrifice.
GT: Wow, sounds like a great game! Wish we could have seen it, instead of watching Gil’s steadfast refusal to jump on the AI bandwagon again.
JP: “…But then I realized that making Charlotte happy would require a lot of time and attention I’m prepared to give, so can you move in with her?”
Luann: Why would an exam be scheduled for early January in the first place? It’s the top of the semester; even assuming this is a year-long course it’s very likely they’d be starting a new unit rather than doing any kind of cumulative review. Forget not knowing how colleges work, does Clan Evans know how any kind of school works?
MW: “We’d better be having poultry tonight, is all I’m saying.”
Phantom: The Ghost Who Knows the Importance of Word-of-Mouth Publicity
RMMD: Really? “She has a different hair color and job and that makes her completely different”? And somehow that makes everything OKAY? I was expecting this to be stupid, but sweet baby Jesus…
@T19 TheDiva:
No you didn’t.