I don’t think a guy could just do that to a basketball no matter how mad he is. I don’t think that’s realistic
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Dustin, 1/12/26
I don’t know that I’ve really commented on the “Dustin (the character)’s second-best friend is an eight-year-old child” aspect of Dustin (the comic strip), but it’s not one I particularly enjoy, mostly because the kid himself is not very interesting as a character. I guess he’s fine when he gives Dustin someone to riff off of, or as fine as any of the other Dustin nobodies, but he doesn’t merit his own individual strips where he’s the focus, and he definitely shouldn’t be doing “I hate Mondays” jokes. That is Garfield territory, Kid Whose Name I Don’t Know And Have Run Out Of Ways To Avoid Mentioning That Fact, and while Garfield’s legal team may be currently distracted, they’re not going to take this kind of thing lying down.
Gil Thorp, 1/12/26
Lest you think that Gil’s ex is motivated by anti-heterosexual sentiment, today’s strip reveals that Coach Gerards is also seething with rage over Gil’s happy relationship. This union is going to roil the Valley Conference into levels of feverish competition that haven’t been seen in decades, to the extent that I suspect that maybe Gil is doing it to boost the athletic department’s budget.
Wizard of Id, 1/12/26
With jokes like “the King as ADHD” and “hey, how about that emo music,” someone is clearly trying to drag the Wizard of Id kicking and screaming into, if not the present, then at least the ’00s. I’m not sure this is a particularly good idea, honestly, and I’d like to think that the setup line is just emerging anonymously from the left side of panel one because all the regular characters refused to deliver it.
Dennis the Menace, 1/12/26
Man, look at Margaret’s face! She does know it, she knows it’s an aspect of her personality that people find off-putting and that’s why she has a hard time making real friends, but she just can’t help it and it’s eating her up inside!
72 replies to “I don’t think a guy could just do that to a basketball no matter how mad he is. I don’t think that’s realistic”
I suspect Garfield’s legal team, like Garfield, would much prefer to take things lying down.
Slylock Fox Mashup: What I think Max should have said.
Gil Thorp:
“This basketball here had been inflated to 8.5 PSI — just like that Jezebel’s lips!”
Dennis the Menace:
“Joey, Margaret here was so named because of her striking resemblance to anthropologist Margaret Mead!”
GT: Should coach Gerards use his sports ball imploding power to crush Gil’s head, yes, that would be embarrassing.
Wizard of Id:
“I wouldn’t stand up if I were you, Sire! — you’d have to be off your rocker!”
GT: In Panel Three, Coach Gerards appears to be in the midst of his transformation to the Hulk. Don’t think that suit will fit him anymore.
DtM: Insulting Margaret sotto voce is an abnormal level of diplomacy for Dennis; one that I’m sure his mother would welcome at the dinner table.
9CL: In the vicinity of Chickweed Lane, one can’t walk through the park without stumbling over people in various stages of fornication. And that’s not even mentioning the public pool.
GT: Good lord, they let this guy near kids?
MW: Ian magnanimously decides to like Sunny. Sunny, however, has found that pulling Ian’s chain is too much fun to quit.
@Baja Gaijin:
Also “I’m sorry! Please don’t eat me!”
@MKay:
On G&$%^@T: Well, this is the same guy who got beat up by his own students, so ball-popping aside, I think he’s going to be shown as a paper tiger.
Dustin: That lamp is going bounce up and down on Kid-whose-name-Josh-doesn’t-know’s face, Pixar credits style, right? Right?
Margaret is the anti-Socrates: She knows everything and she knows she knows. Dennis is the Anti-Diogenes: he would like nothing more than mocking kings, spitting in the face of people and go naked in public but his mother will not allow it.
Wary Morth:
The coloured ornaments have all prudently abandoned the potential towering inferno that is the Cameron Christmas tree. They seek refuge in Mary’s pantry, whereupon she bakes them into muffins.
Hilarity does not ensue.
Powerful people using mental health diagnoses — even real one — to exaggerate their vulnerability, hide their privilege and present as common people? This “Wizard of ID” is too on point for a legacy strip!
“I hate Mondays, I don’t want to work! I will just half-ass it, like a cartoonist repeating the same panel three times with minimal changes!”
DtM – Dennis in his overalls and saddle shoes. MArgaret with her petticoat showing. Joey is the surprise character trying to drag this strip out of the 1950s. Go, Joey! GO!
Coach Gerard is just being kind. He wants to embarrass Gil in front of his fiancée only because he thinks Gil has a humiliation fetish. I mean, I’d assume the same if I saw the track record of Milford sports teams!
Gil Thorp: Like so many of today’s comic strip gags, this one appears to have been back-formed, starting with having Coach Gerards pop that basketball like his star forward’s zit. In fact, the whole “Gil remarrying” story may have been created for this, and now that I think of it, like American automobile manufacturing building to its pinnacle with the 1978 Cadillac Coup de Ville with curb feelers and a built-in CB radio, all of Gil Thorp may have been pointing us to the violence and pathos of this moment. I’m okay with that.
You might think that a rocking chair is no cure for ADHD, but this is the Middle Ages, so the other possible cures are praying, corporal punishment and leeches
It’s easy to say bad things about “Blondie” — fun too! — but at least they understand that Elmo is not built to be the main character in a strip without Dagwood!
GT If your visceral reaction to seeing a couple kissing is a revolted ewww, get a room! then maybe a job with high schoolers is not for you
MW Now Sunny can up his destruction of Ian’s things – ha ha ha! saved you! you owe me!
GT: If you’re a teacher and you bring your problematic age-gap bartender girlfriend into the school to make out in the middle of the basketball court during gym class, some angry ball-popping is the least of the consequences you should worry about.
Dustin: For a moment I legitimately thought Josh had goofed and posted the strip from last Saturday. But no, it’s just Parker and Kelly being lazy an unmotivated, the irony of which I’m sure escapes them completely.
GT: I’m not even sure why Coach Gerards is so ball-poppingly angry over Gil’s romance (apart from the fact that he’s the designated Evil Coach now that Coach Luke has defected to Milford). Did he unsuccessfully flirt with Beth when she was pulling Coach of the Year ceremony duty? Was he already mad that his fabulous WIlliam Katt perm has been forgotten by the guest artist and this is the last straw?
The Wizard of Id: I guess they don’t call him “the Wizard” for his abilities in the manufacture of Dextroamphetamine, or even just a bit of biker crank? Little something to take the King’s edge off?
“Look at that Jezebel! Soon Milford’s prayers before the matches will invoke not just God, but also Baal and Asherah! May the dogs eat her! Or maybe we shouldn’t have weakened the wall of separation between Church and State”
Gil Thorp:
“I’m really going to embarrass him, though, when we get to play baseball in Gil’s stadium. I’m going to have my leadoff batter disrupt the rhythm of his star pitcher by laying off his offerings and securing an easy base on balls!”
“No. Don’t say it, Coach Gerards!”
“Yep. His walk in the park will be a walk in the park!”
C’shaft: *sound of bus backing up, screams, hideous wet crunching*
DT: Pfffft, Mr. Mirror’s no Abner Kadaver, is all I’ll say.
JP: Between the too-good drawing and the too-adult speech pattern, Charlotte is aiming for “Sarah Morgan, Wonder Child” territory. And hey, she’s already got the mob ties to go with!
MW: Now if every other bird in the world can do the same, Ian will be in great shape.
Pluggers learned their lesson after they dropped their cell in the Porta-Potty the fourth time.
TO THE DESCENDANTS OF JONNY HART: Yes, yes, you’re making a comic strip set in a faux-medieval period and just trying to get on the grandkids’ refrigerator door with #relatable content. But that’s really less “a fidget” than “stimming,” do try to keep up, won’t you?
GT: Feels like Henry blew it with the last dialogue balloon. Continuing with the biblical theme established in P1 as Coach Gerards crushes the ball in rage:
“WILL THE DOGS NOT LICK HIS BLOOD?!”
I want to thank the creators of Gil Thorp for a truly dynamic final panel. That said, if they really want me to believe Gerards is serious about humiliating Gil in front of God and his distractingly young fiancé, he’s going to have to be even more violent and ridiculous.
Why stop at crushing a basketball with your bare hands when you could stab it? Filet it? Set its remains on fire, right there on the basketball court, and then devour said remains?
EAT THE BALL! EAT THE BALL!
MW: Since we can’t see the bird shit that must be carpeting the floors and other surfaces in the Cameron condo, I thought it would be instructive to point out the lurking dangers (and potential plot points) facing Toby and Ian as they fully embrace Sunny as a member of their household—especially since the Cameron’s are totally ignoring basic hygiene when it comes to owning a parrot. This comes from an interweb vet.
How to Prevent the Diseases That Pet Birds Can Transmit
Here are a few tips that will help you prevent infections transmitted by pet birds:
Wash your hands every time you have contact with birds. YEAH, THEY DON’T DO THIS
Do not allow birds access to places where food is prepared for people. DITTO
Clean and disinfect your bird’s cage and food and water bowls regularly. CAGE?
Do not clean the objects that belong to your bird in the kitchen or bathroom sink. WHAT OTHER SINKS ARE THERE?
Vaccinate your bird every time your veterinarian advises you to do so. DR. ED ONLY GIVES EUTHANIZING SHOTS.
Take your bird to the vet periodically, especially at the first sign of illness. YOU ONLY GET ONE LIVE VISIT WITH DR. ED. AFTER THAT, IT’S CURTAINS FOR YOUR PET.
Any newly purchased bird should be taken to the vet for a general consultation to make sure they are healthy. QUALITY PELLETS.
Birds exposed to stress are more susceptible to disease, so it is necessary to create optimal living conditions for them; in this way, you also protect yourself. STRESS? WITH IAN?
Make sure all family members know how to care for and treat the bird and the hygiene measures that they must adopt. BWAHAHAHA!
Sick birds must be kept in quarantine for a while. Any dead bird must be examined by a vet to determine the cause of death. The vet can also establish what measures to take to prevent further infections, in case your bird died due to infection. DR. ED EUTHANIZES IAN AND TOBY.
THE END.
WoI — I think it was Machiavelli who said, “A king who places his rocking throne on a small dais is headed for a fall.”
GT — OK, Coach, but how does popping a basketball embarrass *him*?
Now I’m wondering if rocking chairs were invented by someone with ADHD before we had a diagnosis for it. Thanks a lot, King, you fink.
***
That’s not appropriate at work, Thorp! If you weren’t a coach at an American high school and therefore one of the most powerful, unimpeachable men on the planet unless you have too many losing seasons, the school board would have to have a word with you!
***
Dennis has discovered the menacing power of character assassination.
***
No joke here, it would have been easy for the Dustin team to copy and paste the first panel and just change the facial expression and word/thought balloons, but there are enough small differences to show that they are each fully drawn. Kudos.
@Baja Gaijin: So true, then Slyfox made him dive in and retrieve the nuts.
Dustin – At least this kid has got a friend in the Pixar lamp.
Gil is the head of High School sports at Milford. Ahab was head of the nation of Israel. Ahab betrayed the nation when he fell under the spell of the sensuous Jezebel. Gil betrays the student body (by ignoring his duties) under the spell of a seductive bartender.
Barajas might put a lot more thought into these strips than I gave him credit for.
Dennis is talking a lot of shit for a kid who’s in a comic strip called “Dennis sucks.”
GT- did we miss the last panel, where he calls to her- “can your old geezer do this slut?”
woI: Since the king’s legs are too short to reach the ground, he’s throwing his body back and forth to make the chair go. Thought I’d mention that.
DtM: “How long before the writers acknowledge the existence of EarPods so I don’t have to listen to Dennis’ shit talking.” Thinks Margaret.
Slylock Fox-As punishment Slylock left Max with no nu
RMMD-“All my patients when I perform surgery are awake,” Rex says.
MW-And Ian poured water on an electrical fire.
Blondie – In other comics news, although they buried the lede under stale marriage ennui, Dagwood got a Raise!!!!
You can thank those commies at the state house for bumping up the minimum wage!
“With only one nut left, Max panicked,” is the best line I’ve ever seen in Slylock Fox. I guess the same could be written about Hitler in a World War II history.
When I was a kid, there was a Dennis the Menace cartoon, and of course being an animated series, it needs an actual, plot.
And by plot, we had Dennis and co. encountering aliens, finding lost cities, and so on.
Alien Princess (to Dennis): You’re okay, for an earthling
Dennis: And you’re okay, for a girl.
If they made a Dennis the Menace cartoon today, it would be a woke slice-of-life with the characters delving into deep realistic scenarios (with maybe some humor, but then again Dennis never had humor to begin with)
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Thanks for the earworm, Scratchy!
H&L: Trixie viewing the Flagstons with an expression which reflects both dissatisfaction and disappointment is actually pretty spot on for an audience proxy. Good job!
“Uh, coach? You know, with the budget cuts, that was our only basketball for the year. We’re going to have to forfeit the season.”
“THORP!”
DT: A fine gimmick for a hitman. You can really blend into the crowd with a fucking mirror over your face.
Curtis: No wisecracks about greased piggies shows uncharacteristic restraint on the kid’s part.
BF: Last week: Ostensible Writer Friend doesn’t do any writing. This week:
BlobBlonde Friend’s ineffectual-yet-horrifying attempts to regain long-lostgoodmediocre looks and figure. Not shown: Slut Friend’s winedrunk daylight rutting at rich French boyfriend’s vineyard chateau. The local churchgoing peasantry (including fieldworkers and household staff) barely conceal their loathing and disgust.Dustin – There’s nothing worse than the tragic inexorable march of time….
GT – Pretty edgy! A pop shot in the funny pages….
WoI – Rock on with your bad self….
DtM – I’m wondering where’s that third 6 with which Margaret is marked….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
JP:
Charlotte: “Can I draw her like THIS?”
Neddy: “If you want me to show it to your grandparents, you better erase the Catherine the Great.”
Gil Twerp: When that Coach plays “I’m Squeezing Your Head”, you truly know your head’s been squeezed.
How did Team Blondie manage to miss National Pizza Week?
As someone who doesn’t keep up with Gil Thorp outside of this blog, my interpretations of today’s strip were, in order:
1) Coach whose name I can’t be bothered to look up has a “bitch-eating-crackers” relationship with Gil and can’t stand to see him doing anything for any reason.
2) Same coach wanted to get in Gil’s pants.
I’m not sure what that says about me.
Dustin – They’re doing an awfully clumsy job of it, but I still welcome the transition of the Dustin strip to focus on a new main character. Can’t wait to see the comic-strip adventures of Luxo Junior!
SFx: Stolen from the great urban legend about the college student changing a flat tire on deserted road at midnight in the vicinity of an escaped homicidal maniac. Startled by his sudden looming appearance, she knocks the leg nuts into the ditch and moans “Oh god, what am I going to do?” Lunatic furrows his brow, then advises removing one nut from each of the other tires and using them to hold the spare.
6Chx: Lesbian Cat Ladies scope out each other’s butts on a bus. Not since George Herriman and Winsor McCay has the American Comic Strip achieved this level of poetry.
Crankshaft: I’ve seen margaritas with more salt than your
skating rinkdriveway has on it. In the dead of winter. This one’s on you, buddy.Luann: Someone has to learn when to work to the clock.
GT – I see by the third panel that the Gil Thorp guest artist is into Pop Art.
Un-fun fact, today’s WOI reuses the art from the 4/15/23 strip with new dialogue.
Don Abundio, translated:
“The boss bought another sculpture, Polonio?”
“I don’t think Don Abundio appreciates the subtle provocation inherent in Oldenburg’s work”
“I think he just likes really big stuff”
Six Chex And A Cat Named Alfred E. Neuman In Search Of A Punchline presents Antonio Prohías’ CAT VS.CAT.
love is… doing so much meth together that you’re both awake at 2 A.M.
Dustin: is there a new artist at work here?
@Professor Well Actually: I think that we just don’t usually see such a lovely upshot of weird kid’s nostrils.
Dustin: In true Dustin fashion, it takes unnecessarily longer to utter the same sentiment.
GT: Dude needs some anger management before he does that to someone’s head.
DtM: It’s nice to see Dennis has worked on his stage whisper.
Luann: “But he’s so old, he’s got to be used to living in his own filth by now. My shiiiiift staaaarts in an hoooooour!”
CS: I’ve seen better Peanuts homages. I think … all of them are better.
9CL: Brooke completely forgot about old man Teagarden or whatever his name was.
GT, panel 4: “What the @&$@! this is a balloon!”
“Yeah, they’re left over from the pep rally.”
FC: Did I want a glimpse into Dolly’s psychotic break? Nope.
MW: “Thoth bless us, every one.”
GIL THORP: “Look at Coach Thorp kissing that…that…Jezebel right there in public! As a 19th century Victorian magistrate, such impropriety would not stand in era I come from! And what are these strange orange rocks that somehow (foul magic by the wizard Spaulding?) seem to be inflated with air that you have lying around this enclosed courtyard? These won’t do at all, for flinging in the direction of yon lady in the middle of the towne square for the crime of wanton harlotry.”
GIL THORP (2): I think this is probably one of the few missteps of the guest artist. Like, dude, one of the signature features of Coach Gerards (besides inheriting the same cartoonishly-evil-foil-for-Gil-designed-to-make-him-look-good role that Coach Martinez used to do) is his hideously frazzled perm. Yes, that ragtag mop wasn’t an example of artistic maleficence for once, it really was supposed to look that bad. Without the outdated hairdo (and slightly smaller frame. Tricks with basketballs aside, he’s not the Incredlible Hulk) the coach just looks like a generic jock instead of some scrappy effete loser whose’s desperately trying to compensate for getting his ass kicked by teenagers (so honestly he should be trying and failing to squish those basketballs between his hands. See it’s symbolic: He think he can “reclaim his manhood” by busting Gil’s balls.)
@Baja Gaijin: I probably would have said that, too. However, I wouldn’t have walked over to the stream so I could lose the lug nuts in the first place.
SFx: If there’s anything I’ve learned from decades of flat tires it’s that random dirt near fast-moving rivers are solid enough to support a scissors jack bearing a quarter of an auto’s weight.
Blondie:
“Mr. Dithers’ boot didn’t leave a mark on your butt?”
“No!”
“Over there that makes you Employee of the Month material! Congratulations sweeitie!”
FC: Keep this up Dolly and your next toy from Thel will be Child Protective Services Barbie.
Dustin: It’s like the creators noticed that Saturday’s strip wasn’t very funny and thought that meant it would be hilarious if they waited two days and ran it in reverse. Alas, no.
GT: “That Jezebel”? Coaching high school basketball may pay the bills, but obviously Coach Gerads’s real passion lies in playing Judge Hathorne in the community theatre production of The Crucible.
Luann: Usually girls mature earlier than boys, but Bwad has matured and fully integrated into society. He has a full time job, a spouse, and a family. Luann is still yearning for attention.
DT: So is that just a mirror taped to his chin or did he get someone to custom make a mask out of the mirrored sunglass material? Does that affect his aim ?
GT: So this is a game at Goshen? Gil brought his soon-to-be-wife to watch the game? I think it takes 80-100 pounds per square inch to burst a basketball – and that would some loud bang. Still great art. Now just showing up with variable perspective, depth, fine detail from afar (a real subtle skill of keeping in enough but not too much). In the words of Billy Joel to the guest artist “Man, what are you doing here”.
JP: Nice snarky comeback Charlotte – never change! Neddy is trying to tell you that she’ll be ditching her soon for alky grampa.
MW: No, not a belated happy Christmas ending!
Phantom: I guess General Chum doesn’t really deserve a private army if he doesn’t know how to use them.
Slylock: That is an answer but in reality, Slylock forced Max to dive in and retrieve the nuts.