Mistakes, repentance, etc.
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Family Circus, 1/27/26
Look, we’re pretty mean to Jeffy on this website, and for obvious reasons: he’s pretty stupid, he’s very annoying, etc. Sometimes, though, we lose sight of the fact that he’s three years old, and those are in fact qualities that most three-year-olds share, so maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on him. On the other hand, he’s extremely smug. Look at that face! What have you got to be so proud of, kid? The finger thing? It doesn’t even make sense. It’s just not something you should feel good about saying. We definitely don’t feel good about hearing it.
Mary Worth, 1/27/26
Oh wow. That “go on” says volumes. This whole parrot business has been an excuse to force Ian into a struggle session about his many shortcomings. Additional parrots will be introduced into the situation until Ian’s mind is completely shattered and Toby can begin the long process of building him back up as someone who’s vaguely bearable to live with.
Blondie, 1/27/26
“I routinely suffer physical abuse that no worker should be forced to bear in a free society! Don’t you read this strip?”
Curtis, 1/27/26
That’s right, Curtis! You’ve killed your beloved! Now you must live with the guilt and shame … forever.
52 replies to “Mistakes, repentance, etc.”
Curtis: This is an “Alice in Wonderland” situation, isn’t it? Michelle is going to grow to terrifying proportions, isn’t she?
No toilet paper after a massive dump is no problem for a plugger with duct tape and a band aid.
Curtis probably believes that if she eats the “Eat Me” cake it will fulfill his secret desire to see her turn into a giant.
Today’s Curtis was drawn by guest artist Edvard Munch.
@Pozzo: But she’ll end up growing to the disturbing proportions from the book (terrifyingly long neck, long spindly arms) as opposed to the simply “she’s herself but just bigger” as in most adaptations.
Edit: her long long neck in the book, was the reason the bird thought that she was a serpent trying to steal her eggs.
That line didn’t transfer very well in the Disney movie.
Curtis – Putting an “Eat Me” message on a cake sounds like harassment.
In 1979 my fraternity attended a Twins game with a large canvas sign that said Rick Sofield Fan Club. It was on the back of a sign we had used for a food booth at Campus Carni that said Eat Here with a downward arrow between the two words. We were in the second row of the left-field bleachers. In the first row was a woman with a baby. She changed the kid right there after he shit himself. I guess we should have been understanding. This was before the rest rooms had changing stations. Instead, we turned our sign around and held it up with the arrow pointing directly down to her. And we folded over the end of one of the sides so it said Eat Her. That was kind of mean of us, I guess.
Footnote: Rick Sofield didn’t play in the game and after the game was sent back to the minors. We left a can of Copenhagen (he was a dipper) with a note expressing our sympathies.
Blondie and Bitsy aren’t shocked by the physical abuse so much as the fact that Dagwood seems to have enjoyed it.
FC: “Cower, mortals, for my hand controls the flow of time!”
Unless Curtis did something incredibly bizarre like make the chocolate cake with pink frosting or something, to hide the fact that it’s chocolate. Michelle would simply just not eat the cake. Actually, she’s wouldn’t eat a random cake left on her doorstop anyway.
Curtis really is a dumbass. If he really loved her, he would have waited for her to answer the door, hand deliver the cake personally, and say “This is for you”
Otherwise it’s just creepy and stalkerish.
FC: Guess what stands up when you’re fourteen?
I’m sorry, a pompous what? Ian? Gonna need you to speak clearly, buddy. A pompous… ? Come on, man. We need this.
MW: Toby saying “Go on” is all but a signed confession that she taught Sunny to say “pompous axx” and trained him to target Ian’s possessions. And honestly? Good for her.
BLONDIE: Dagwood has finally come to terms with his masochistic yearnings. Now, if only Blondie will wear the thigh-high leather boots that he’s brought home…
DtM: Margaret’s know-it-all-ness would actually be welcome right now. Inclined plane, gravity, etc.
MW: “I’ve been thinking, Toby; YOU’VE never saved my life, so be off with you.”
MW: Ian speaks into the potted plant where Mary has her microphone. He emphasizes the words he feels are most important to her. “Pompous Ass! I’m a real Pompous Ass, right Toby?”
She’s too frozen with fear to respond.
FC:
“Little finger”? — is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Since when did Toby morph into Madam Mao and the Cameron’s flat into a self-criticism session?
Crankshaft : Wait, wasn’t Crankshaft an outright enemy of the marching band, purposefully being late, leaving them stranded, “forgetting” or “accidentally losing” their instruments? Or are you only supposed to go “Actually, I hated this person and they were never my friend” at said person’s funeral in the FunkyShaftVerse?
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Curtis : yeah, like the other ‘mudges said, this is leading up to yet another “Curtis accidentally turns Michelle into a hideous mutant the day she has a photo shoot” storyline. At least it wasn’t set up with “Curtis and Michelle bonk heads”, which made those weird because that stuff is more of a set-up for a “OH NO WE’VE SWITCHED BODIES” or a “two people get amnesia at the same time, misunderstanding turns them into a loving couple and/or has them act the opposite of their usual personalities” bit.
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Family Circus : sadly for Jeffy, aging a year won’t magically make him smarter, or make him understand how counting works.
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Frazz : Mrs Olsen isn’t silent because she’s been stumped and outwitted by Caufield yet again, she’s silent because that’ a REALLY stupid question.
(Also : “Because Rock and Roll music is more recent than Art in general, and thus its ‘classics’ came at a time when art was renewing itself by becoming ‘modern’.”)
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Mary Worth : when Cameron said “go on”, she was expecting Ian to continue listing insulting names he’s been called other than “Pompous Axx”. So she’s very disappointed the actual direction he was going in was “parrots, like dogs, are good”.
FC:
“I can’t give you infinitely clever commenters the Vulcan valedictory to ‘Live long and prosper’ because I don’t have the digital dexterity to do it yet!”
“What has energized me is the physical abuse that has been dealt directly to my rear end” says Dagwood Bumstead to his wife, as he removes his clothes.
Blondie – Dagwood missed a perfect opportunity to use “literally” correctly.
FC:
“Of course, if we were in base 3, I’d be 10 next year, not 4, but I still wouldn’t be able to depict it manually, because 2 of my 10 fingers are gnarled!”
MW:
“Go on. Say something pithy that’s Beatles-esque to tell me what and how you’re feeling!”
“Why don’t we do it in the road?”
MW: Kudos to Brigman for this detailed character study of a broken man.
Curtis: “But the harmonica I left with the note that says ‘biow me’. . . that’s all right, isn’t it?”
>A man in Mary Worth
>Someone who is “vaguely bearable to live with”
Pick one
@Anonymous: Yeah, what power dynamics led to this situation? Crankshaft doesn’t do favors for people (such as stopping to pick up bus riders), and Dinkle doesn’t take no for an answer. My theory is that Dinkle lost a bet to Crankshaft, and this is the payoff. Which would have been a much more interesting week than Dinkle explaining to bunch of adults at an “educators’ conference” what a bus driver is.
“Go on” says Toby, while she anxiously awaits the words “I think it’s time we went our separate ways”.
DT Hey! Assassin! If you wanted time to escape, maybe try closing the door next time
MW Now I’m picturing a series of “This Is Fine” memes with Ian calmly sitting as guano levels rise and more and more parrots crowd the room…
GT Wow. Such maturity, much coaching skill. [/doge]
Also Mary Worth: Yes, yes, everyone knows that parrots are commonly associated with Xochiquetzal, the Aztec goddess of beauty, love, and fertility, which explains why the little lovebirds are speaking Spanish to one another. But from one Old God to another, keep your eye out for Huitzilopochtli, the bloodthirsty hummingbird god of war. Taming Ian isn’t for the faint of heart, you know.
FC:
“I’m three and so I’m able to display half of what Anne Boleyn was reputedly able to display manually when she was six!”
Luann – If I were Luann: “Hi there, supporting character who I haven’t seen in months and whose name I’ve forgotten! How late am I?”
@The Rambling Otter, Curtis: And if she knew Curtis left it, she definitely would not eat it.
I’ll let someone else will rabbit-hole through past strips to see Michelle eating and enjoying chocolate and/or peanuts.
@Anonymous, Curtis: Come to think of it, running over someone’s hand with a skate will leave a definitive mark, at least some medical treatment.
And Michelle is no hockey player. I’ve seen players achieve a Gordie How Hat Trick in worse condition that Anakin Skywalker at the end of “Revenge of the Sith” (before he gets the Suit).
MW: As the parrots stare him down, Ian cries; “Do it to her! [sob] Do it to her!“
Family Circus: Do y’all really want to make those weird, 4-digit mitts the focus of your comic? Your prerogative.
Mary Worth: The apparent luxury… the constant stream of humiliations… the typo-based swearing… is Ian in The Good Place?
Dustin: When you give up healthy living, the first thing to go is flossing.
Chix (sic): Today the punk 6chix and urbane New Yorker cartoons meet at the ends of the horseshoe.
MW: Back in the day when I was working as a social worker and making home visits, I had a couple of clients who had parrots (and one also had a mynah bird). They always asked me if I was afraid of birds. They obviously found keeping parrots very rewarding, but made no bones about the fact that it’s challenging.
On a possibly related note, when I worked in a nursing home, our youngest patient was a disabled man in his 20s who had been making a living breeding birds in his home. He was in the nursing home to recover from psittacosis, aka ‘parrot fever’.
Count yourself lucky you don’t live in a four-finger comic, Jeffy. Now the fate that this countdown portends means you won’t live to see 11 instead of not living to see 9. What shall be your doom? NOT ME! (Not pictured here: the Not Me ghost cackling in the attic as it plots its decade long revenge to take down this family that blames it for everything.)
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I’m glad you’ve accepted Sunny, Ian. That parrot is going to outlive you. It will poop on your casket at the funeral.
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If there is one piece of sage advice my grandma gave me that has helped me live to my ripe old age, it’s don’t eat unexpected food that unknown people leave at my door.
FC: Jeffey may be three years old, but he’s also sophisticated enough to pull this kids-say-the-darndest-things-ism rather than just mutely hold up three fingers the way most kids his age do when asked how old they are, so I feel any contempt and hatred towards him is entirely justified.
MW: So I guess we’re just going to put this all on Ian and ignore the fact that Toby has been an overindulgent and irresponsible pet owner through all this?
…Then again, I suppose it’s like when your kid gets a hamster. You can lecture them about personal responsibility all you like but you still can’t leave the little rodent’s care entirely up to them because at the end of the day they still have the brain of an eight-year-old.
FC: Jeffy’s cover as a mole is blown when he doesn’t raise his thumb as a counting digit.
DT: The master assassin didn’t bother to check that the door was shut and locked – most hotel room doors automatically lock when pulled shut. This neglect allowed the two drunks to find Czar’s body before the Mirror escaped. That’s two strikes Mirror! First was the crazy scheme of lying in the bed – but somehow in the strip it worked. Second is this door issue. One more and the Mirror will be shattered by a bullet from DT’s 45 pistol.
GT: “Coach Brain Aneurysm” ?! I thought his name was Gerards?? Sporting that powdered wig look. Who he think he is, General Nathaniel Greene??
MW: Toby is reinforcing Ian’s conditioning.
Ian: I am “so stubborn and hard to live … a real Pompus axx…”
Toby: “Go on. “
Ian: “And … and I’m big dumb doofus…”
Toby: “And what else…”
Ian: “And I have a ridiculous chin beard…”
Toby: “And one more thing …”
Ian: “And , and , I’ll never ever question your authority or that of school management.”
Toby: “Good. Very good Ian.”
RMMD: Are you sure Autumn, that it isn’t actually that Johnny fell down the well.
The current mission statement of Mary Worth would appear to be that the road to happiness is accepting your subordinate status to undisciplined animals.
C’shaft: The kids in the back just stare in silent horror. They know the truth about this so-called “hero.” They’ve seen things.
Dustin: On the one hand, I hate Dustdad because he’s a huge hypocrite who condemns the laziness of others while being lazy himself, and he’d be the first one to start bitching if his wife dared to put on a few pounds and let her gray hairs show. On the other hand, I hate Dustmom because she’s fully bought into the social expectations for her gender even though she’s clearly unhappy about them, and for what? Who’s she trying to impress? Her husband?
GT: Look, Emily, I know Coach Gerards is just a strawman of a toxically masculine abusive coach and you don’t feel like it’s worth it to bring your A-game when it comes to insulting him, but still, you gotta do better than “Coach Brain Aneurysm.”
JP: Not that we needed proof that Alan has a favorite child, but…
Phantom: Look, now is a very good time for a statement on how ordinary people can come together and resist violent authority, but I’m pretty sure The Ghost Who Runs His Own Shadow Government isn’t the right mouthpiece for it.
Blondie instinctively covering her butt as the full weight of Dithers’ abuse comes to the surface. She’s either viscerally reacting to Dag’s poor treatment, or feeling a flush as she wonders if he’ll show her just exactly how Dithers inspired him.
S4th: ‘What I’m trying to say is I’m going to be flunking out and repeating this grade, so I hope you don’t have any plans to retire, because I want to be having inappropriate fantasies about you for a looooonnnnggg time!’
JP: How the hell is she supposed to know anything about Randy, Judgey Wudgey? She’s been in prison, and you know what black holes of communication prisons are!
Luann: Blast it, we’ve had enough of this twerp and her inability to pick a direction in life! One of the blessings of the Evansii’s writing is we leave the stupidity of one character to watch the stupidity of another! It’s been three weeks! We were supposed to be cutting to a completely different set of characters! CUT TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SET OF CHARACTERS!!!!
P.S. I guess we were right that Luann must have gotten fired offscreen given that she clearly never made it to work.
FC — Imagine, just one more year until Jeffy is able to grasp objects! This puts him far behind European Jeffy, who would be able to do it right now. . .
Dr. Joseph Lister ain’t got nothin’ on Pluggers.
@The Quiet Man: Also, I see the answer to my little pop quiz yesterday did indeed turn out to be Judgey Wudgey, but apparently the sight of his beloved (?) daughter snapped him clean out of his scowling alcoholic stupor and reduced him to the mentality below that of the raspberry-haired brat whe she first saw a horsie and wanted a ride.
“TELL ME WHERE RANDY IS! TELLMETELLMETELLME! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
Comics give the impression of movement through gradual changes from panel to panel — sequential art. But “Family Circus” is a single-panel comics, there is no movement, there is no change, Jeffy will never lift that finger and will never be four. Sure, real-life Jeffy is now an old man working on the comics, but in-strip Jeffy is unchangeable, eternal and undying, forever three
If my boss hit me I would not feel more “energised”. Did Dithers kicking him in ass awake a new fetish in Dagwood? His wife already has to deal with vore, please don’t add BDSM!
FC-“I used to be one,” Jeffy says extending his middle finger.
RMMD-Ha. Joke’s on them. It’s Johnny’s kidneys.
MW-“Go on. Drag this out as long as you can. We have all week.”
Blondie-In this day and age no company would tolerate the physical abuse Dithers heaps on his employees.
FC – It’s this repressive political environment, right….
MW – A pompous axx – too good to work in the forest with the plebeian axes. A damn fasces – that’s you, Ian….
Blondie – Tomorrow, he’s gonna light a fire under my ass. I’m thinking of taking a sick day….
Adios Amigos, DJ.