Thank goodness she’s not some sort of goose vampire, that would be truly alarming
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Dustin, 4/12/26
To misquote Mystery Science Theater 3000, you should never reference a good comic in your shitty comic, and say what you will about Garfield but it’s a relentlessly efficient machine for amusing 8-year-olds, whereas Dustin has never amused anyone ever. Today’s strip makes it clear that Dustin requires three separate characters to achieve what Garfield does with one. This is not something you want to draw attention to!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/12/26
I don’t like this one because Ma Goose’s uninhabited shirt in the mirror looks exactly the same in both panels, and that makes it clear that she’s turned her head 180 degrees without any other part of her body moving. It’s uncanny. Is that something birds can do in real life? I don’t really care, honestly, they don’t as a rule wear shirts in real life so I don’t think that’s actually relevant.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/26
Oh, wow, this is actually a good bait and switch: we thought Mae Mae’s cover was going to be blown by the suspicious mustachio’d non-Mud customer at the diner, when in fact her cover’s going to be blown by Mud, because he absolutely cannot keep a secret or even have a thought without immediately verbalizing it. Not sure if he’s relapsing or if the Mirakle Method simply didn’t cover this situation, but either way, it’s more than Mae Mae’s feet that are in danger!
Hi and Lois, 4/12/26
I guess in theory I’m all for Hi and Lois updating itself for modern suburban life, but I gotta say “the Flagstons and Thurstons take their cuck stuff to the golf course” is a little bit more than I can handle.
43 replies to “Thank goodness she’s not some sort of goose vampire, that would be truly alarming”
“I like Garfield because there’s a version of it without him!” – Every Dustin Character At Once
It’s cool that Hi wants to do the Harpo thing and watch this all unfold while just making dumb expressions, but can we get this man a slide whistle? A bike horn? Something?
“We’re getting drinks with these guys, see you whenever we’re done!”
“HONK….honk.”
@A Grave Mind:
And then they all disappear! Best Dustin ever!
FC-Yet Billy hasn’t figured a way out of the circle.
Hi and Lois-Oh Lois and Irma are most definitely going to get filled.
MW-“Oh and I was also scammed out of $200,000.”
High and Lower – Irma and Lois are going to bang the caddies, aren’t they?
How did Slylock see Reeky Rat’s underwear?
Oh, God, Jordan’s. Don’t walk her home, Mud! It’ll be a week of talking about Jordan’s, then talking about walking! Then you’ll notice your muddy boots, and write a song about them that rips off a song that you’ve already written!
Say what you want about MG&G, the most disturbing comic I’m seeing on the Curmudgeon site today is the the left sidebar ad, which is serving up “6 Weird Home Remedies for a UTI” accompanied by a sketch of a naked woman with a lily flower in place of her genitals.
RMMD: Once Mud spills the beans, I foresee him covering A Puddle of Mudd’s hit song: She Effin’ Hates Me.
Don’t worry, Mother Goose, they’ll realize what they’ve got on their hands now, and promptly return it.
RMMD:
“Truck, I wrote myself up a new tune that kinda channels Merle Haggard and the Strangers. Wouldya like to hear the openin’ bars?”
“Sure thing, Mud.”
” ‘Lord, I’m just some dead wood from ol’ Glenwood….’ “
“Okay, that’s quite enough, Mud.”
Dustin: /random stereotype Italian chef no-one has even seen before jumps into frame/ “I like-a him because he love-a the lasagna! Momma-mia, he a funny cat…”
MGG: Wouldn’t it be funny is vampire attacks were just like mosquito bites? You don’t notice them when they happen but then a few hours later you pass by a mirror and think “God damnit, did someone steal my soul and turn me into some kind of immortal hellbeast last night? This is just great, I’ll have to cancel my lunch at the Olive Garden…”
RMMD: Another exciting Rex Morgan, M.D. strip, where our characters take a whole 8 panels to say “Huh?”, “What?“, “Nevermind”
H&L: Yeah, some nice men like those two with the mismatched shoes. Is that code for something? Seems to suggest that they’re comfortable with swapping things…
BoToddler: CARPE DIEM: Lest there be no diem! (When the world combusts, make s’mores)
GA: And when the world combusts, look out for your neighbors livestock
MF: (Strip that cannot be discussed). When your world combusts, start reading the instruction manual.
JP: yesterday and today, artist did a great job of showing a traumatized little girl, one who knows she lost the safe place she’d found.
S4th: I’ll put $5 on the red leaf lettuce
MG&G: Some birds actually can rotate their heads 180° while their bodies stay eerily still, but mostly only owls, so I guess this is how I learn Mother Goose is actually her married name, and I guess she was in an owl-goose interspecies marriage before she was widowed. Probably after she swooped down, tore her husband’s head off, and then ate him bones and all.
Not sure I should say
But I’m going to anyway
Need material for a song
Lunar swingsets only last so long
But betrayal of an old friend
Broken hearts looking to mend
That’s what an audience wants
Lorna Starr is Mae Mae Cuddlepants!
MW: How… sweet. Diabetes-inducing levels of sweet.
But I’m wondering if Monday’s strip will be Jeff calling Mary for the recap and victory lap, and the plot threads (the money! John Long!) are left to dangle. Moy is quite capable of it, I fear.
As if to underscore the point, today’s Garfield engages in utterly lowbrow humor, but at least it engages in humor.
Dustin:
“Forget the print version of the comics, Helen. Go to josh-reads-dot-com for the comments — these people are all misunderstood geniuses!”
I’d expected the platonic ideal of the new Rex Morgan: A character takes a nap. Nothing happens.
RMMD:
“What with my moving from the fame and fortune of movie stardom to a humble waitperson gig, the shoe’s on the other foot. And now I can’t get it off!”
Helen likes Garfield because of the secret messages you find when you squint at it from the edge of the page.
Dustin : DustinMom then becomes the token hatesink/scapegoat of the family of the day after she says “Yeah, but HEATHCLIFF is WAAAAYYYY better.”
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Hi & Lois : Irma and Lois aren’t ending up with the two-weird looking dweebs in the final panel. This is a crossover with Gil Thorp, they’re ending up with HIM.
Of course, that means they end up with someone even WEIRDER looking, but still; more athletic than either of their husbands, and slightly less alcoholic!************
Mother Goose and Grimm :
a) she’s turned her head 180 degrees without any other part of her body moving. It’s uncanny. Is that something birds can do in real life?
Maybe her last name is a misnomer, and she’s actually an owl?
Her looking nothing like an owl is explained with “Have you seen most newspaper comics attempts at drawing recognisable animals?”b) Eh, my favorite “zany misunderstanding of what having your identity stolen entails” bit was that one time some webcomic I forgot purposefully confused it with body switching.
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On the Fastrack : this reminds me of that Woody Woodpecker cartoon that’s basically his biography from cradle to grave, with it ending with him dying of old age, falling off a cliff into his open grave, but the animator taking mercy on him, erasing the grave and replacing it with the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, ressucitating and revitalising Woody and giving him a second lease on life.
Hey, the strip is the one that brought up “Hey, anything from your childhood that really stuck with you?” FIRST.
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Six Chix : Okay, is the joke :
a) The lady on the right is mistakenly trying to tell what musical note the glass she’s holding makes instead of tasting the wine;
b) Sommeliers are generally just making stuff up, the lady on the right is just more obvious about it?
RMMD- Today’s strip demonstrates the drawback of the comic medium. As i recall, a few days ago, Mud was mentioning he could help her with weight loss if she wanted. In the written form, not the best pickup line ever used.
Hi and Lois:
“I’ve got a new idea for scoring, Hi! — the winner is the person with the lowest number, calculated by the number of shots you take over 18 holes, divided by the number of beers you drink!”
@matt w: It is a pretty strong trope that if a character is shown going to sleep, there will be a dream sequence. But I could totally see RMMD defying convention and giving us six identical panels of someone asleep, rather than the normal train ride to hell or vision of Wilbur-faced babies.
MG&G:
“Geez! — this is like a Rene Magritte exhibition!”
Not referring to any of these but I’m beginning to wish that — in addition to a “like” button — there should be a “dumb” button.
Why does Truck ask “Anybody I’d know?” Would he expect to know someone from Fergus’s hometown? Is Fergus from some future celebrity incubator where the kids are assigned birth names like “Mae Mae Clodfelter” so they have a cool trivia fact when they change them?
Dustin’s Mom is asleep, isn’t she? There’s no way his Dad would ever be expressing happiness or saying he likes something in reality.
Personal to Mother Goose: I think you take a smaller collar size.
Slylock – better explanations than the one given:
1. (Classic comics trope) The hippo is a woman driver and doesn’t know how to put a car in reverse.
2. There is no way to tell because the impact pushed her car forward, causing skid marks and therefore leaving the situation uncertain, at least to initial observation.
3. Even though he has clear dashcam footage confirming his story, Slylock arrests the rat. C’mon, if you’re called Reeky Rat you must be guilty of something.
S4th Nope, nope, nopety, nope – the answer is radishes, never bet against radishes! The lettuce might be a close runner-up, but scallions? Good grief, no wonder you have summer garden problems – nobody knows their veggies in the neighbourhood! (Yeah, I’m side-eyeing you, neighbour-who’s-pushing “kale”, that should take a good two months to be harvestable!)
H&L: What’s with the multiple flags on the green? Is this a new take on miniature golf? I miss the windmill!
MW Well, despite the initial “it’s a big chunk of change” as the scam payment was done looks like Ascot Dude could absorb the 200k hit pretty well, he appears completely unworried now. The lesson learned is that the scammers shouldn’t have stopped but instead asked for more $$ for Trixie’s recovery!
FC (Dolly grabs the compass and runs to another room) Look! Now North is there, and South is there, and … that points back to where you said was the center – no, for now *I* am the center, not *you*! But, but then… are there *multiple* centers? Is… is that even *possible* by definition?? is there then *no* center?? (collapses in an existential crisis)
@CanuckDownSouth: the least believable thing is that the scammers wouldn’t just assign a new captive to the Trixie case and continue to milk the guy. Moy and the Evansi are the comics page masters of not knowing how anything actually works.
MW:
“Wait a minute! — you’re not my daughter Sharon. You’re Eve Lourd, on Ozempic!”
H&L: This clever use of foursome would get accepted the Hays Code.
Beetle Bailey: Lt. Fuzz is never going to amount to anything if he can’t think big. Try stealing a whole box of pens, you petty thief!
DtM: Is Alice so stereotypically ’50s a housewife that she can’t think of using a plunger all by herself?
Blondie: I enjoy the ring of a vintage Mutt and Jeff here.
Wizard of Id: His senses are, indeed, working overtime.
A&J: Yes, Janis, you can make your bungalow into the Amberson Mansion with just a little help from a classy magazine which now chases TikTok designer influencers.
Gasoline Alley: Who needs medical helicopter response to an urban crash site you can reach by donkey?
Starting Monday Hi and Lois are I’ll be replaced with Cucks and Cougars.
MW: Gotta hand it to Moy. She worked the heterological word long into the story as an inside joke. John Long’s part in the story is very short. That, or she was inspired by a word-a-day calendar.
H&L: Gak! The sight of Lois and Irma grinning silently is really creeping me out. Make them stop. I take back every snide remark I ever made about “dull surprise”. Please bring back “dull surprise.”
Dustin – “I like him because he’s literally anyone other than a member of my horrible family!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“This is just like ‘The Old Man and the Sea,’ Polonio!”
“But that guy lost the fish and almost died”
“True!”
MW: Welp, THAT sure was easy! Next week, let’s see what dear ol’ Wilbur’s been up to!
JP: Ces, remaking ‘Misery’ with two Kathy Bateses does not work.
DT: So, basically this is ‘The Italian Job’? You do realize one of the cool things about that movie was how the big mastermind behind the titular job set the whole thing up from INSIDE prison, right?