Thursday dining
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Blondie, 6/18/26
When Blondie started a business, back in 1991, it might’ve presented the strip with an opportunity to step beyond the tired food-mania cliches it had been orbiting around for decades. Unfortunately the business she started was a catering company, and most of the jokes it generated are about various customers coming in and making terrible food puns based on whatever their forced-zany shtick is. Anyway, today’s strip is notably sad because I’m reasonably sure Blondie’s “Do you happen to be marketing executives?” line is meant to be complimentary.
Six Chix, 6/18/26
The “mainstream media” won’t cover it, but the giant bug-things are coming and they will kill us all if we don’t prepare for all-out war against them. The gang at Six Chix has been trying to raise the alarm, and I just hope it’s not too late!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/26
“It’s sure better than the piece of shit cafe where I work. The food there’s barely edible. You can put that in your report if you want!”
33 replies to “Thursday dining”
At the same time, these guys apparently rode their boards to this meeting, Weezer-style, which is AWESOME.
That tick’s cousins are about to obliterate Buenos Aires! Join the Mobile Infantry and become a citizen! God, that movie was stupid!
Dennis the Menace: Dennis has promised he’ll get his revenge on everyone who has crossed him. He never break a promise. That’s pretty menacing.
“Seriously, we’re standing in a restaurant right now. Do you know how sad Doug’s Sad Face is gonna be after this? Pretty goddamn sad!”
RxMD: “Stop deadnaming me, you b*tch! It’s Mae Mae!”
Phantom: It’s going to be Ming the Merciless, isn’t it? Halfway to a “Defenders of the Earth” reboot. Plus, the retcon origin story of the hokey “Power of Ten Tigers” Jungle Law Mantra, riding the coattails of He-Man’s “Power of Greyskull”.
Blondie: Got it. Surfers carry their boards everywhere, talk funny surfer talk, and live off their parents. At least they’re never worked for National Intelligence.
Six Chix:
“I’m guarding a spa that specializes in skincare beauty treatments. I’m a ‘facial‘ tick!”
Hi and Lois; Is one of those stuffed animals the murderous bear from the Five Nights at Freddy’s series? Also it’s pretty sad to see Ditto so delusional that he’s setting up this scene just so he can pretend to win a game he’s playing by himself.
Blondie: Somehow, I don’t think fern fronds or daisies would be first choice of botanical surfboard decorations of these two stoners with severe cases of the munchies.
RMMD-Yes. You are literally standing in the middle of a restaurant that you could eat in.
MW-Can we get to the part where Tommy finds himself slathered in mayonnaise and is in the middle of a Weston sandwich?
Luann-The letter arrived a week after Hannah returned from camp.
Crankshaft-“My dad was a swinger!”
Blondie: The only one of those dishes that isn’t just regular food with a punning name is wasabi waffles, which frankly sound terrible. Why you go all out and serve them with Szechuan Sausage?
Alas, they’re already here.
RMMD:
“By the way, lensman — what’s your name, anyway?”
“Last name’s ‘Voltaire,’ Ms. Starr. Smile! — you’re on ‘Candide‘ Camera!”
Blondie – Cash upfront, Blondie….
6-C – I’m already ticked off….
RMMD – Has-Been lives in Shitty Little Town – film at eleven….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Blondie: OK so did they actually come up with surf-themed dishes or just some names that Blondie will be forced to develop herself? Best of luck trying to make ravioli ‘rad’ or how to integrate the concept of a tidal wave into a tart!
RMMD “Mystery solved”? The mystery of not being an actress after being an actress? Next week: where does the sun go every night and will it come back?
Blondie: A bit of cultural archaeology in today’s Blondie. During the 60s and 70s, surfer dudes were slackers, but as Silicon Valley and the ex-Berkeley hippie tech scene picked up through the 80s and 90s, things like surfing and Burning Man became a stereotype of engineers and programmers. But tech professionalised and became the domain of nerds, while non-technical managers like marketing executives attempted to build their cred and steal valour by getting into the alternative scenes associated with the hacker subculture in the 00s and 10s. I didn’t know what had happened since then, so thanks to Blondie for explaining: they’re slackers again.
RMMD Such a missed opportunity to show the hotel/cafe guy (after the repeated manager-tries-to-edge-into-the-interview bits this week) upset in the background as Mae sends the interview crew off to the competition!
Six Chix:
Maybe we could improve that entomological endomorph’s disposition if we serenaded him with Strawberry Alarm Clock’s “Insects and Peppermints.”
Mother Goose and Grimm: Do you feel bad for elephants who are captured and killed by poachers for their valuable ivory? Well have you considered that some of those elephants might have been asshole smokers who chose to destroy their bodies with deadly carcinogens? If elephants are supporting the tobacco industry maybe they just got what they deserved.
Blondie:
“We’re actually musicians who specialize in throwback surf-themed covers of songs.”
“Really? What’s the name of your group?”
” ‘Dan and Gene‘ !”
Luann: Ye Gods, the mother of this ‘Hannah’ is a Muppet! No wonder she has poor emotional regulation, I’m surprised she isn’t flailing her arms about!
Phantom: Yes, Nomad, you’ve figured out it’s all an illusion from that ‘device’ right? We know from the ‘Admiral’s’ thought balloons that he agrees with you that Schmelon Schmusk is a dangerous fruitcake. Why aren’t you rushing him while he’s on his phone, hmmm?
RMMD: Do TV reporters in this day and age still say ‘And THERE you have it!’ at the end of a segment?
JP: Sophie’s brain just short circuited. ‘Duh… Askel hoooot….’
CS:
Hey, what the? Dad never told me I was adopted!
An 80 year old bag of weed, wonder if it’s still good?
Hey, what the? Dad never told me he was in the Ku Klux Klan. No wonder he never had any black guys in his band.
What’s this? Dad never told me he was a Freemason. That explains his funny handshake.
MW “Actually, lifesaving and competitive speed are different skillsets, but I’ll be sure to swim back to shore to report your demise really fast”
FG OK, maybe having decades of royalty rule in utter subservience to emperor Ming might screw up the normal expectations, but still… what the *bleep* is heir-to-the-throne-but-really-in-charge-because-dad-is-doddering Vultan doing at liberty in his conquered city? Even if he swore some kind of fealty, Frigia didn’t strike me as stupid enough to blindly accept it.
Neither of the surfers says “rad” or “gnarly,” even once? You guys, I’m starting to wonder if the Blondie team actually researches the various cultures it brings us, or just sort of half-asses it.
MW: I don’t recall much about Brandy’s personality, but imagine the horror of coming back and finding that you’ve been replaced by Dawn Weston.
RMMD: Not a very observant journalist-she’s failed to notice Doug frantically interview-bombing this whole time?
BLONDIE: Have we ever had reason to think that the Bumsteads live in a coastal area? I’ve never seen Dagwood having a sandy sandwich crisis.
MW: The Tommydawnship looks promising, but they have not sought Mary’s blessing! Beep! Beep! Unauthorized flirtation, that’s an HOA violation!
MW: All right, what’s the dumbest thing that could happen in this “plot,” based on what we’ve seen so far? My Take: Tommy’s gonna nearly drown and Brandy, who has returned to town unannounced to “surprise” Tommy, will happen by on the beach just as Dawn is giving him mouth to mouth. Because of her “trust issues,” she will assume Tommy is cheating on her, even as the paramedics arrive to check him out and and even though she’s the one who put them on a “break” or whatever when she left town. Tommy will try to explain, using “babe” for every other word, but she will stomp off. At Freda’s she will be frosty and Tommy will feel like shit. Dawn will likewise feel like shit. Mary will make an appearance or two to say something sufficiently noncommittal but vague hopeful to Tommy and/or Dawn so that when everything works out, they attribute it to her sage wisdom.
RMMD: Mae Mae sent them to Jordan’s because she refuses to wait on people who call her Lorna. Even though all the customers who came to see Lorna Starr have been addressing her as Lorna. It’s a new boundary she just invented, which solves the problem of being on her feet all day.
@Charterstone: Dune: that’s got to be way up there or the Dumb Scale. I’d only add: the resolution has Brandy declaring that she’s not good enough for Tommy, she could *see* how he and Dawn are Meant For Each Other. Brandy disappears and Dawn/Tommy become an official couple
RMMD -…”and it’s as good a meal as you’ll find anywhere. I’ve learned a lot about eating since I disappeared ten years ago. Can’t you tell?”
Blondie: I’m not sure what’s most depressing here, the evident payoff from Big Food, the evident payoff from Big Executive, the evident payoff from Big Surf, the evident payoff from Big Trevor and Jack, congratulations on their graduation-slash marriage-slash successful stay in rehab, or that the sum total of all this bribery to the Blondie creative team is like $15.00, minus taxes and tips.
It’s good to see Rex Morgan, M.D. return to its creative roots: unearned rewards for already well-off people, it’s a good thing. But where’s a little taste for Rex and June?
Six Chix: Insurance companies advise against posting “Beware of dog” signs because they can be taken as an admission that homeowners’ animals are vicious and/or uncontrolled. In this case, it’s more an admission that the creature in question will suck your blood and/or is poorly drawn. That’s got to jack the rates up, don’t you think?
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Adding, this would be funnier (and make about as much sense) if the sign advised Beware of guard The Tick, with the title character sitting on the porch.