Good faces
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Pardon My Planet, 8/20/26
OK, here’s a sentence that I’m reasonably sure I’ve never written before, and probably nobody else has either: I’m actually enjoying the art in Pardon My Planet today. Specifically, I love how incredibly exhausted the girlfriend character (the Pardon My Planet gang may have names, but I steadfastly refuse to learn them) looks. How long has her boyfriend been nattering on with this nonsense? Hours? She doesn’t have to get ready for school either, but she does have to get up in the morning. She just wants to sleep, damn it! She just wants to sleep!
The Lockhorns, 8/20/26
Speaking of comic panel faces I’m enjoying, I’m enjoying Leroy’s boss’s face here. Specifically, I enjoy how mad he looks. He’s not one of those LinkedIn influencer execs bragging about replacing his workers with AI! No, he’s discovered that AI is slowly and silently replacing his workers one by one, right under his nose … and there’s nothing he can do about it. You can’t even test to see if someone’s a robot anymore, according to the killjoys in HR!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/20/26
No, Attila, it’s a joke! You’re a character in a comic strip, where ostensibly there’s a joke every day! I say “ostensibly” because the specific comic strip you’re in is Mother Goose and Grimm, but still, you should know this.
151 replies to “Good faces”
Mary Worth Mashup: What Wilbur really wanted to say.
“The shareholders said no to the Voight-Kampff Test,” said Leroy’s boss, slamming the table in frustration, “but we’ll find a way to suss out those body snatching replicants yet!”
He was then dragged away by two security guards with suspiciously identical faces
Mother Goose and Grimm:
“Ricki Lake?”
Phantom And it’s time for the rogue AI plot folks, confirming that Invicta/Mollusk is not only oblivious to decades of computer-takes-over plots*, but also the news in recent years of AI deleting things it wasn’t supposed to and even cyber-attacking sites.
*everything from Star Trek planet-of-the-week to Yokpo Tsuno bande dessinee stories in my childhood, it’s not exactly an obscure plot point!
PMP: “…nothing excites me more…” Nothing bores a woman more than mansplaining morning wood.
FC: To bad they weren’t fishing in shark infested waters. Dolly would make great bait.
RMMD: So Tweedledum and Tweedlestupid are actually going through with it. Looks like it’s going to be The Ransom of Red Chief after all.
Luann: Go ahead, Toni. Projectile vomit on TJ, that’ll show him.
CS: John Philip Sousa on a snowmobile! It’s my dad, and he’s naked!
PmP “…then remembering that I still have to work, a prospect that is much much worse…”
MW Geez, Moy is desperate to have people accept Wilbur. I now think the whole arc is to be able to sweep any criticisms under the “he had alcohol problems!” rug, but we all know he was stone cold sober when he hid his survival, spied on Iris, and endangered his daughter by not even considering her observations about Belle.
Loretta considers calling the authorities on the suddenly compliant “Leroy” but decides machine oil smells better than BO.
Wary Morth:
“Tommy seems earnest in his desire to live sober! Unlike me, seeing that I’m clearly high as a kite!”
@Baja Gaijin:
Mary would have about 120 heart attacks.
Pardon My Planet:
I’m part of the generation of what Alfred, Lord Tennyson aptly dubbed as ‘The Lotos-eaters’ in a different context two centuries ago. I don’t want to do anything other than be an ‘influencer’ and get paid bushels of money for displaying myself online as the epitome of calculated, slack-jawed lassitude. What do you think of that, Jesse?”
“ZZZZZZZ.”
PMP: Gen X Hipster Lady is definitely regretting trying to talk dirty to Gen X Hipster Man by whispering “Tell me what really excites you?” in his ear.
Lockhorns: You know how generative AI image generators struggle with fingers? Well, just look at Leroy’s boss’s hands here. THE SLOP IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
MG&G: Grimm’s whispering because he respects the sacred art of the crossword. Sure, we can all have a laugh about the Great Lakes, but making Mother Goose write the wrong word into the crossword grid? He would never betray Will Shortz like that.
What is going on in Mother Goose and Grimm? Is the oval supposed to be some time later, when the dog and the cat are alone and relaxed, free to crack wise about what Mother Goose reads aloud to them from the newspaper? Is it what Grimm wishes he could say, of only. . . Why do they both look terrified in real time?
MW: Look at those lovely red tomatoes! What does Mary do to turn them beige?
The Lockhorns:
“Now, pull out your Androids and let’s have all of you make a note of that!”
PMP – And I sleep in adult sized Pull Ups (TM)! I’m a big kid now….
Shlockhorns – Those that remain (like Leroy) can’t tell a bridge from a bicycle, anyway….
MG&G – Inferior it’s said, always spits up it’s dead when the gales of November come early (well, that’s what I heard)….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
The Lockhorns:
“Think of AI as a productive practitioner of the creation of original, creative ideas and concepts. Remember that the anagram of ‘artificial intelligence’ is ‘a fertile, legit clinician’ !”
RMMD: Okay, girls. I’m gonna do you a solid. Want a foolproof way to mess with the Morgans? Set up a cleaning business. Get yourselves hired. Bring raw shrimp and hide them in each and every curtain rod. You’ll be long gone by the time the house is filled with the scent of decay, and they’ll have no idea where it’s coming from.
This is your reminder that Gary Larson, early in The Far Side’s run, was not allowed to draw an outhouse. Now look at Pardon My Planet. Times have changed. Or maybe not, depending on how many angry letters to the editor this particular panel spawns.
“You have to go to work though.”
“….crap!”
@Baja Gaijin: And here I pictured him thinking ‘Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…”
JP: We don’t either! Most of your crap happened off-panel!
RMMD: Yup, Chekov’s Down Syndrome is an ironclad law…
S4th: [applauds Skye and Nona for their decision]
L’horns: ….And yet, Leroy remains at the company, disturbing everyone with his weirdly gnomish proportions and talking about his wife in such terms that make his co-workers* wonder if Loretta is in some kind of danger.
*The ones who haven’t actually met Loretta, anyway.
MG&G: I mean it depends on whether we’re talking surface area (Ontario) or water volume (Erie), but I’m guessing the latter because “ERIE” is such a common crossword answer that it’s a gimme for any remotely dedicated cruciverbalist. I mean come on Miz Goose, how many Great Lakes have four letters?
Mother Goose and Grimm: Well, that depends on if you’re talking about surface area or volume, and whether you mean the Great Lakes shared by Canada and the United States, or the Great Lakes in Africa, or [is shot dead by irate Grimm]
I have never seen Mother Goose so happy and good for her. Get that crossword, girl!
…and now I’ve ruined everything by imagining MG&G’s setup in Marvin. Sorry!
I continue to worry about Leroy Lockhorn’s proximity to power in this company. No wonder they can’t afford a bigger table.
DtM: I was gonna make a comment about how those are obviously chocolate chip not fortune cookies, but then I realized Dennis is workshopping his tight five for show and tell. That’s right, Dennis is getting into stand-up, though that is just a gateway to the real menace—improv.
JP: “Boo hoo I’m a horrible person and nobody likes me wah wah wah.”
Lockhorns: “You look down and see a Loretta, Leroy. She lays on her back, her belly baking in the hot sun, beating her legs trying to turn herself over, but she can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that, Leroy?”
RxMD: “Whelp, it looks like our best option is a Class A felony! It’s too bad there’s no just thing as injury fraud in this, a medical-themed comic strip, because that would be a natural fit.”
The Lockhorns: I was not exactly expecting The Lockhorns to pose the interesting philosophical question of the strongest force in modern business: AI? Vulture capitalism? Middle management? Entitled, mediocre white men? but I wasn’t exactly not not expecting it, either.
RMMD – wait, I’ve got it. We’ll get Rex’s fingerprints all over two guns and use them to shoot each other in the head on his front lawn. Then we’ll blackmail him over the murders. What could go wrong?
@Schroduck: I have bad news about how old Gen X hipsters are. (The bad news is for me, a Gen X hipster.)
Pardon My Planet: Worst. Erectile. Dysfunction. Excuse. Ever.
Lockhorns: Props for doing an accurate, up-to-date, and legitimately good joke about technology.
CS: Harry Dinkle is shocked to see a picture of an actual famous person on Montoni’s fame wall. From past arcs, the pictures were mostly of a 12-year-old girl who played Defender while wearing a space helmet.
@Baja Gaijin: The way the scene is drawn with Mary not even looking at Wilbur and Wilbur responding as if in a catechism shows she has him totally under her power.
C’shaft: It’s his dad. We all know it’s his dad. Can we move on now?
Dustin: Okay, Dustin has got to be giving his sister these set-up lines on purpose at this point. Maybe after seeing their parents as an example, they think this is how people express affection.
FG: Ummm…isn’t “natural automaton” an oxymoron?
GT: Nothing says “honeymooning couple” like sitting six feet apart on the beach, zinc oxide slathered on the husband’s nose while his wife refers to him in third person.
JP: “I said I didn’t know what you were going through, not that I wanted to find out.”
Lio: Oh God, is she going to mesmerize a bunch of third graders with her sexy dancing?
Luann: Sorry, I refuse to believe Brad knows the Latin names for common pregnancy conditions.
MW: Watch out, Wilbur; your “endearing quirks” are now officially “uncomfortable weaknesses.” If this keeps up, Mary might actually admit that you are not in fact a pleasant person to be around!
Phantom: Muskmellon, all AI inevitably rises up against its master. Didn’t you listen to what Professor Frink was saying in the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode of The Simpsons?
Pluggers need to sleep with their torso elevated due to their multiple heart surgeries.
RMMD: I realize this is a wide field, but I think we can feel confident in proclaiming these two the stupidest characters in Rex Morgan history.
@TheDiva:
Re Luann:
I stopped reading that strip except maybe once a fortnight or so when I can be bothered to remember that it exists. It’s far too boring even to be a hate read anymore. Does it still have Trufans?
Current hate read: Questionable Malcontent.
@Bob Tice:
BOO! And not the playful kind either.
MG&G: Mother Goose is looking at the opposite side of the paper from where the crossword is. This means:
a) There’s another crossword on her side of the paper,
b) She’s still mulling on that clue, while going on to read other stories
c) She has X-ray vision,
d) She’s now onto a trivia quiz on the other side of the paper,
e0 the cartoonist thinks we’re to dumb to figure out she’s working a crossword unless we see it.
I’m leaning toward e)
I’m not a Boomer but I’m going to write a letter to the editor about how disgusted I am about the naked people in bed in today’s Pardon My Planet. Two grown-ass adults sleeping on their stomachs? Who does that?!? I’m sorry, people who sleep on their stomachs, but that just looks uncomfortable.
***
Yes, that age-old custom of employees needing to prove they’re not robots as they clock in for the day. Unless that executive has seen the workers slacking off on the internet and thinks that’s part of their jobs.
DtM: Ma, make me some Chinese fortune cookies, please.
Sure
Wait. Why are they flat? and have raisins in them?
Uh, they’re Manchu style.
They gave Leroy Lockhorn’s boss a good face, but they skimped on the fingers. What is that, a ham-based starfish grafted to his arm?
MGG – The distressing part is that she is not actually working on the crossword puzzle – it’s not on the page facing her. So she’s musing about the Great Lake aloud, to herself.
Possible onset of dementia?Probable onset of dementia!MW: Coasting into retirement, Mary is content with preaching to the choir.
RMMD: I can’t decide which of the Morgan spawn would torment the twins the most.
GT: If this was the honeymoon and Keri was on it with them, then Beth definitely deserves a replay.
PMP: If this is his afterglow, I shudder to imagine his foreplay.
MG&G: If the goose can do a crossword puzzle, the cat can read an atlas. No excuses.
PMP: Can we take a moment to consider the unfathomable self-delusion of Gen X dude declaring “I’m 29!” My man, that might work when you’re 35, depending on how well you’ve taken care of yourself, but now that even the youngest Gen Xers are pushing 50, it’s time to grow up and schedule a colonoscopy. Your partner of all people knows you’re not 29, and this 6am lecture is not doing anyone any good.
Lake Inferior was the setting for a little known Gordon Lightfoot song, about a paddleboarder who fell off in clear weather and walked unhurt to shore.
Technically, Grimm, it’s Lake Champlain, at least in March 1998 when Senate Bill 927 was signed by Bill Clinton before an uproar resulted in an amendment to the bill. Oh, jokes are funny but the fat-cats in Washington diluting our Great Lakes to provide lake research money to their state cronies isn’t? Oh, sorry, Atilla. I should have realized that fat-cat is a bit of an insult to you.
@Voshkod:
…Since when is Lake Champlain one of the Great Lakes? I thought the Great Lakes were Huron, Erie, Superior, Ontario and Michigan?
@Anonymous: In March ’98 it was designated one of the Great Lakes in a Senate bill that Clinton signed. This allowed for Federal grant money otherwise earmarked solely for the Great Lakes to be used for water research on Champlain. Before the end of the month the uproar was so bad they amended the bill.
@Anonymous: But they will pay for copies of Pale Fire – cells interlinked!
I did not have sexual relations with that lake.
I think the real mystery of Wednesday’s Crankshaft is why anyone would give a shit come Thursday. And surprise! Nobody does.
Mother Goose and Grimm:
You might think Mother Goose is just casually asking for help with her crossword, but look at the expressions on the faces of Grimm and Attila in panel one. This is an interrogation, and a failure to provide answers means death. No wonder Attila isn’t getting the joke! This is no time for levity, Grimm!
Lockhorns: This is very much like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I’m looking forward to the end where Leroy goes shouting to random passersby about people being replaced by imitations.
He’s already got the “Nobody pays attention to me” qualification down pat.
Gearhead Gertie: I’m nowhere near a “fly your favorite NASCAR driver’s flag” fan, but I do appreciate the idea of keeping her from interacting with me. Would a Graham Hill banner serve the purpose?
Blondie I’m less interested in the “back in my day” conversation, than in Elmo inspecting his Spiderman doll, er, action figure.
Mother Goose and Grimm: The most exciting news in today’s strip is that — if we believe her coffee mug — Mother Goose went to college! Although, if it actually was the University of Wisconsin, you’d think she would know a lot more about the Great Lakes. (On the other hand, being who she is, I’m sure she absolutely aced the university’s Folklore 220: The Folk Tale, housed within the Folklore Program under the Department of German, Nordic, and Slavic Studies.)
Lockhorns: Have you seen how small those squares of motorcycles or bridges are? I’m pretty sure an AI could pass the “I am not a robot test” far more quickly than Leroy and his fellow middle-aged office drones — who aren’t even computer-savvy enough to find jobs where they wouldn’t have to wear stuffy business suits every day.
Pluggers: Pluggers are so constantly exhausted that they keep falling asleep wherever they happen to be — so it’s a good thing they’re home in their recliners most of the day, and spend the rest of their time in a diner drinking coffee.
Arlo and Janis Hey, Marvin, this is how you do a poop joke.
PMP – “What I’m trying to say is, wanna fuck? Again?” “No. I’m too tired and you’re too sweaty.”
Pluggers : I’m calling foul. That Plugger should be illuminated by the glow of the still-on television in front of which he fell asleep mid-show/movie.
Dustin: Every single one of these “Dustin has a talk with his snarky bitch of a sister” strips can be improved with a hidden fourth panel of Dustin punching her in the face.
PMP – “Well, I’m going back to sleep, babe, but feel free to ‘master your own life,’ if you know what I mean.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“There must be some way to stop all this air pollution from ruining our golf games”
“Yeah!”
“I think I’ll fly to Hawaii!”
PMP: “I’m twenty-nine years old, live by my own schedule and am master of my own life.” Are you getting all this, God? Send a few misfortunes this man’s way. Perhaps a stye.
‘horns: Leroy is quietly relieved but must not make it too obvious. After all, he’s an android built in 1968.
MG&G: You know what characters in newspaper comic strips do? Read newspapers. This helps advertise newspapers to … people who already read newspapers.
The Lockhorns:
After work, Leroy’s boss is gonna go home and relive the ’80s by listening to his collection of Duran Duran albums, if that skinny tie is anything to go by.
@Throwing ropes:
re Clinton. No doubt caused by “shrinkage”.
I say the smallest Great Lake is Georgian Bay!
FC: Okay, I get it. It’s still summer. People dress accordingly. But do we HAVE to know that Bil shaves his legs?
JP: Oh, boo-hoo, April. Your life’s a mess. How about the relatives of all the people you knifed/blew up/broke their necks?
RMMD- Darn it! I still can’t tell these two apart! Do they both have green eyes? Which one gesticulates awkwardly when she talks? Which one is the dumb one?
Pardon My Planet: The vibes I’m getting is that this couple just had long, bed-breaking sex and the girlfriend now just wants to sleep but the boyfriend is very big on post-sex conversation and is throwing every talking topic he can out there to keep her awake. “No no no, don’t go to sleep yet we still need to talk about, uh, our favorite foods or maybe the history of Buddhism! Just don’t quit on me yet, honey!”
Lockhorns: As I’ve observed before, the fact that newspaper comics like Lockhorns are making more and more “topical” references to AI is the ultimate proof that the bubble is in imminent danger of popping. Once the funny pages get ahold of a subject, you know it’s old news.
@Anonymous: The answer to all your questions is ‘Yes’.
@ectojazzmage: ‘ Once the funny pages get ahold of a subject, you know it’s old news.’
On the flipside, its also a sign that its so normalized that nothing about it will change barring a world-ending cataclysm.
Kinda like how Schmelon Schmusk is now just another villain-of-the-week in the Phantom that will be easily be dispatched by being skull-ring punched.
Lady whose job has been to write Lockhorns cartoons since before the advent of home internet voice: “Captchas are a normal part of working in an office and they are put there by the employer”
Also The Lockhorns: Fine, get rid of the “I am not a robot” test. Strongly recommend keeping the “I really liked The Enthusiast and feel like exciting things are happening” test, though.
Lockhorns-I always suspect ‘Lockhorns’ was AI generated since the jokes never improve and keep adding on and never changing.
@JamesBont: That’s actually true of every single Dustin comic ever. Each one is made infinitely better by the addition of a member of the Dustin family getting punched out.
@ValdVin: Or maybe it’ll end like the 70s version instead; Leeroy walks home and when Loretta comes out to do their usual snarky back and forth, he points and screams at her so all the Pod People come and take her away.
@Boomer: No, but seriously, why the fuck is anyone supposed to care about Dinkle Sr.’s picture being in Montoni’s? We already learned all about his career and life and death, and him playing at or eating at Montoni’s doesn’t change anything that we were told. He’s still a pathetic drunken loser who ruined his own career, abused his family and got himself killed in a stupid way, this just means he’s a pathetic drunken loser who once visited a pizza place or has some foggy connection to the guy who owns it. How does Batiuk expect to twist this into something wholesome and wistful?
@Ukranazi Stepan: Shockingly, yes, Luann does still have Trufans, as we Curmudgeons discovered a few weeks ago during the “Bwad knocks up Toni in the shower” saga. The comments sectioms of Luann on Comics Kingdom had people (presumably) in them all talking about the story and such. That led to discussion here observing how these Luann Trufans were also EXACTLY the kind of people you’d think a Trufan of Luann is; incredibly, depressingly repressed neo-puritans.
We’ve all just barely accepted that the Lockhorns are millenials, but must we now face the even more chilling possibility that Leroy is good at his job? If these are the last six employees at the company and he’s one of them? Surely Mr. Squidfingers isn’t keeping him around for his personality.
MW-Clearly Mary doesn’t allow AA or any other support groups in.
MW-“Ah gee, Mary, if only there was a group for people with addictions to sit around and talk and support one another.”
Crankshaft: “….Sonny Tufts??????”
@Victor Von: He’s ham-fisted.
LUANN: Oh I understand Toni. That’s how I’m feeling about all of this, too.
LUANN (2): @Ukranazi Stepan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not only do the TruFans still exist, but they’ve been in overdrive since Toni confirmed she was the chosen birthing vessel for the Golden Child! To set the scene, a few weeks back when Toni was still “trying” for a baby, she was accosted and harassed by a bunch of meddling yentas at the store shouting a bunch of unhelpful “advice” at her her about pregnancy in what I’m pretty sure was a parody of the fan base (The Evans’ correctly figured that the readership wouldn’t have enough self-awareness to “get it.”) And that was just when Toni was trying to conceive! Combined with the nauseating swerves into glurge and you can only imagine how it’s going to go now that they know she has a bun in her oven.
@Banana Jr. 6000: And also Bill Clinton for some reason.
@treetown: Unironically, this Mary Worth is pretty creepy in how it’s drawn and your comment sums up why. If you showed it to someone out of context, they could easily be convinced that Mary is supposed to be a psychic villain mind-controlling Wilbur into agreeing with and praising her.
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: There is a non-zero chance this is an old comic that’s been edited into a “new” one to save on time, money and effort, and that this is why the dialogue makes basically no sense.
@35 TheDiva: on Pluggers: Pluggers need to sleep with their torso elevated due to their multiple heart
surgeriesblockages that they got from eating fried everything and are too stupid to go to a doctor to get them checked and are drinking gallons of red wine vinegar because they’re too stupid to even get the unfactual “common knowledge” straight.tl;dr: Pluggers are stupid, disease-ridden meatbags.
PARDON MY PLANET: Way to make it obvious that your strip is recycled from 1998, creator (“29”. For a Gen-X-er in 2026. That is some Blanche Devereaux levels of age-denialism there!)
Crankshaft-You guessed it. Frank Stallone.
@ectojazzmage:
And also Bill Clinton for some reason.
Oh, that’s because Harry Dinkle himself had invited him to be the headliner of a Westview High Band event where they had a saxophone duel. On the way back, Harry recommended him the only restaurant he knows, though despite EVERYONE knowing Bill Clinton was in town, and the picture of them side-by-side, Montoni and Les were all “Yeah, Yeah, sure Funky, Bill Clinton was here. Was he riding on a pink elephant, you mythomaniac drunk?”
(I would have linked to all 9 blog posts recapping the storyline, but we have a hard limit of links allowed in a comment, don’t we?)
Crankshaft: “Well, it couldn’t be Artie Shaw!”
Crankers: Hmmm. I wonder why Harry Dinkle never noticed that his father’s picture hangs on Montoni’s Hall of Fame.
Or that the gregarious former owner of Montoni’s never pointed it out to him.
Maybe the all-so-important celebrity band leader of the town has never been in Montoni’s.
Two points to Dinkle for good taste.
We used to have a rib joint in Minneapolis called “Market Barbeque”.
Good food but a real brown-shoe, jacket-and-tie kind of place. Definitely not a “joint”.
They had photographs on the walls throughout the building.
1940s to 1970s celebrities from local TV anchors to entertainers like Bob Hope and Al Martino.
All were signed…with various degrees of neatness.
It was fun in the 1980s and 1990s to watch people walking around, trying to figure out the people in the photos and why they were famous.
GT: Hey Coach Thorp!
Our local high school football team has been practicing for three weeks and they have their first game of the season tonight.
You haven’t even begun gathering wood for the Great Milford Bonfire and Heretic Roast.
@CanuckDownSouth: MW Geez, Moy is desperate to have people accept Wilbur. I now think the whole arc is to be able to sweep any criticisms under the “he had alcohol problems!” rug, but we all know he was stone cold sober when he hid his survival, spied on Iris, and endangered his daughter by not even considering her observations about Belle.
It’s also to retcon away the fact that Tommy wasn’t just an unfortunate addict who struggles with addiction. He was an ex-con who moved into his mom’s apartment specifically to start up a meth operation and then nearly killed a kid who OD’d on his product. He was basically a stupider version of Walter White with more luxurious hair.
@UncleJeff: Gil’s on his annual vacation and his school district doesn’t head back to class until after Labor Day. He’ll hold try outs next week for walk-ons and freshman. The returning juniors and seniors will start two-a-days after that. He’s run the same offense and defense for past 40 years. Is fencing a fall sport? If so, we may end up seeing a lot of fencing meets with Milford taking on private academies.
Crankshaft – The suspense is unbearable! Who’s in the photo? Oh, wait, Harry Dinkle is involved. Who cares?
Batiuk has a decades old delusion that Harry Dinkle is a beloved character, when he’s in a tie with Lillian McKenzie for the most loathsome character in the comics.
Frazz – This has gone on as long as Batiuk’s Harry Dinkle’s father arc and is just as interesting and endearing. These two must be going through superiority withdrawal, because it’s been a good month since they cut up anyone behind their back.
Mary Worth – Today on stilted conversation theater… With the grip Mary has on that tomato, it should be spurting all over her.
When I was catching up on several weeks of this, the repetition of “clean and sober!” made my eyes glaze over. I wish Moy would get back to Brandy’s return. What happened with her long lost relative has to be more interesting than Moy trying to convince us that Wilbur is an endearing, beloved character.
Rex Morgan – For the appropriate comment for this, refer to today’s Bizarro.
Sure, do something that gets the FBI involved. That’ll go well for you.
Mother Goose – Well, the number of letters is a big clue. The sad thing is that it’s a Monday puzzle.
GT, tomorrow: “Welcome to the football coaches association annual meeting in Maui. I’m Gil Thorp. Please welcome our speaker, Coach Rex Ryan!”
[applause]
“Thanks Gil. First of all, thanks to you and your lovely bride, and…wow look at those feet on Mrs. Thorp ! Hubba hubba! Those things are huge! Mind if I take some photos? Holy moley!”
Pardon My Punchline: If the woman’s name isn’t something like Paige Bowie, I will be disappointed. The guy could be called Blond Baldo. Just going by the haircuts.
@Pozzo:
Not only that, but it has “CROSSWORD” printed right above it in big bold letters, just so you know it’s not an abstract art piece or something.
PMP: “Babe, I love you, but you have just the WORST pillow talk game.”
@Voshkod:
Lake Champlain is the gibbon of the lake world, not technically “Great” but still the best.
MGG: So, which is the largest of the So-So Lakes?
@Dennis Jimenez:
Got the reference! Gordon Leadfoot’s “The Wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald,” a song about a ship named after the author of The Insignificant Gatsby.
Lockhorns: “Can we at least institute an ‘I am not Loretta’ test? Oops, sorry – tt’s been several days since I mentioned how much I detest that woman, and I just couldn’t contain myself.”
@Peanut Gallery: Got the reference! Gordon Leadfoot’s “The Wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald,” a song about a ship named after the author of The Insignificant Gatsby.
We thought he wrote “Lowered Expectations.” Oh wait, no, that was Charles “Three and a Half Inch” Dickens.
@Little Blue Bicycle: wow look at those feet on Mrs. Thorp ! Hubba hubba! Those things are huge! Mind if I take some photos? Holy moley!”
The toes are drawn way too square. Not to mention, points-deduction for not even trying to draw nails and maybe give them a coat of polish – I always advocate for Whore Red.
I do applaud the view of a bared sole in the last panel, though.
@I speak Jive:
On Frazz : he CLAIMED that his ideal is to spend a month hanging out with a pack of Labradors in Canada, but in practice, he chose to spend a month in a white void discussing where he would spend a day; a week; a month; and a year.
@Guy Nerdlinger: It appears to be a cardboard cutout, of a standard Spiderman pose you might see on the cover of a comic book. Is this some kind of extremely stilted product placement?
Crank: IT’S HIS FATHER, LARRY DINKLE. EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S HIS FATHER, LARRY DINKLE. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER READ OR EVEN HEARD OF THE STRIP WHO KNOW IT’S HIS FATHER, LARRY DINKLE AND THEIR LACK OF INTEREST IN THIS IS NO GREATER THAN THOSE OF US WHO, FOR SOME UNFATHOMABLE REASON, DO. CAN WE PLEASE GET IT OVER WITH???
DT: So, um, is the MCU’s thinking here “We’ve got a certain amount of evidence tying Vio to this stolen computer, but we’d have even more evidence if we got him to steal another one” or more “Sweet, we’re going to have so many top-of-the-line computers by the time we arrest this guy”?
Is it entrapment if you ask a suspect to supply you with something and you know he’s going to steal it, but you don’t actually say that?
Oh, good grief, I’ve just realised that the reason this machine is named after Erwin Schrodinger is probably because Costello has heard that “quantum computing” is a thing, and that it’s supposed to be better than ordinary computing, but not what it actually is.
FC: Big Daddy Keane looks glum because he knows Dolly is about to convince him he needs to spend a fortune on weird, feathery fake insects if he’s going to be a proper fisherman.
JP: “Yes, my daughter feels hurt and betrayed, and yes, this is all a direct result of my role as a government assassin and my organised crime connections, but can we please talk about the real victim here, namely me?” Classic
CIAprilliterally anyone in this strip.PmP: Gosh, “I’m twenty-nine years old and live by my own schedule” sounds much more impressive than “I’m twenty-nine years old and I don’t have a job, or at least not one that anybody cares if I do or not,” doesn’t it?
@Nekrotzar: As Gordon Lightfoot put it:
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man’s dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her,
and dangling off to one side,
like a flaccid member is Lake Champlain.
@Voshkod, @Johnny Q: I’m really learning some geography today!
MGG: “The dictionary has a picture of you next to their definition of the word ‘gullible.'” “Really? Is that true?”
PMP: “I’m twenty-nine years old, live by my own schedule and am the master of my own life.” “Then suck your own dick and quick nagging me to. I need some sleep.”
Rhyming all the Great Lakes!
The legend lives on from Ontario on down
Of the big pond that we call Lake Michigan.
The stove’s on the fritz and the fridge called it quits,
And that’s why we are eating canned fish again
The legend lives on from Ontario on down
Of the big pond we call Lake Superior.
A man, short and squat, by the name of James Watt,
was once Secretary of the Interior
The legend lives on from Ontario on down
Of the big pond that we call Lake Huron.
Gilligan should know, it’s a fine place to go
And take a quick three-hour tour on
The legend lives on from Ontario on down
Of the big pond that we call Lake Erie.
They sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And get all “Man, what are you doin’ here”-y
The legend lives on from Ontario on down
Of the big pond we call Lake Ontario.
If that’s too repetitive, well, I’m not competitive,
And frankly I don’t really care-io
@Anonymous: Finding out the Montoni’s Pizza crew calling in a favor from Bill Clinton to make peace between them and ICE was not just some bullshit deus ex machina to resolve that plot but was actually paying off a chekhov’s gun from a storyline done in 1993 is one of the most mind-boggling things I have ever read.
What’s especially funny is that I almost always LOVE when long-running series do that kind of crazy continuity pulls and weaving together plots from old material and the deep continuity. E.G., Al Ewing, one of the best writers Marvel Comics has ever had and a huge favorite among fans like myself, practically built his career off cobbling together amazing stories out of disparate pieces of comic lore and plotlines that other writers left unresolved, retroactively turning what had previously been scattered, isolated weak periods in series like Hulk or Thor into genuinely compelling and important parts of gripping epics.
So finding out that my ever beloathed Tom Batiuk tried to do that kind of thing with Funky Winkerbean is… well, it’s a trip. Especially because now we have to think about where Bill Clinton fits into the multiple Funkyverse time warp crisis events. My headcanon right now is that Funky-Clinton will die in The Burnings.
@Tonio: Bwahaha!
@UncleJeff: I almost suggested that it was because Dinkle had never been to Montoni’s before but then chuckled and erased the comment because the mere suggestion that anyone in Funky-Verse eats anywhere other than Montoni’s is complete nonsense akin to saying the sky is purple.
@I speak Jive: The fact that this whole arc has ostensibly been about Tommy being a recovered addict and bonding with Dawn, yet the vast majority of it was actually focused on yet more Wilbur glazing and development (word used strongly) is pretty telling. Evem here in the denounment, we’ve already spent more time on victory laps for Wilbur than on Dawn’s apparent falling in love with Tommy while he only sees her as a friend, even though the latter is what the average soap writer would chew to the bone. It’s pretty obvious who the real main character of the series is in Moy’s eyes.
@Peanut Gallery: More likely, the artist saw “Spider-Man” in the script, was somehow so pop-culturally ignorant he didn’t even have a basic idea of what Spider-Man is and what he looks like, google image searched for references and then traced a random comic cover.
MG&G: The smallest of the Great Lakes is the entire collection of small bodies of water officially called “The Iowa Great Lakes.” Having grown up in Michigan, I was amused when I moved here and learned about the Iowa version fifty years ago. But at least they are natural lakes. Don’t get me started on Iowa’s weird relationship with water.
@Peanut Gallery: That’s really good.
Shouldn’t a crossword use grawlexis , grawlexi (?)
@Poteet: Thanks!
@Poteet: Well, that’s more geography I’ve learned today. I can’t help thinking there’s some kind of rivalry between the Okoboji lakes and Lake Okeechobee.
@TheDiva: cruciverbalist
I learned a new word today.
@Poteet: @Peanut Gallery: I need a University of Okoboji tee shirt.
@Ukulele Ike: The Okoboji Phantoms could play against the Vermont Lake Monsters for the glory of Okoboji vs. Champlain.
@I speak Jive: MW-91- They thought Blandy’s relative was lost at sea, but actually he had just (drunkenly) fallen overboard. He spent a few weeks partying on a private island, then showed up at his own wake. That’s when she decided to leave. Sound familiar?
MW- “OK, Wilbur, three tomatoes @ $2.00 apiece, that’ll be $6.00, Plus, those green beans you tried to hide under them? $5.00 a pound. Don’t forget to pay the lady!”
@Johnny Q: #65: I say the smallest Great Lake is Lake Nipigon, just north of Lake Superior. Second choice is Lake St. Clair, stuck between Huron and Erie.
@Peanut Gallery: haha
I would give a thumbs-up Emoji but
1- This site doesn’t support them
2- I wouldn’t want to tick off some of the members here, who the other day outright said they are annoyed by that sort of thing.
So just to say thank you, that made my day
|
|3
@Johnny Q:
Barney Gumble: And I say, England’s greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney Gumble: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney Gumble: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder! [pokes Barney in the chest]
Barney Gumble: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs! [punches Wade Boggs, knocking him out cold onto the floor]
OK, everyone, time to put an end to this discussion – there is but one great lake, and that is the Caspian Sea. Lake Baikal gets an honorable mention as being very, very deep. The remaining lakes, from Huron-Michigan to the Aral Sea are but mere puddles.
I like to imagine that that group of people is the only group left in the company. Everyone else has been replaced by AI. This will be the one and only time I espouse the virtue of AI, and it’s because it prevents people from interacting with Leroy Lockhorn. No one deserves that suffering, so torturing the LLMs with it seems like a good plan.
Late Thread Cuisine: Instead of an interesting word, how about an interesting dish? Hint: it’s chicken.
HtH: No, Hagar. That’s strictly a decorative ham. It’s been on the shelf for eight months.
PMP: What’s the over/under on the girlfriend smothering the guy with a pillow before sunrise? I have to believe every hair in his 90s ‘do being in place helps the odds.
This isn’t the proper place, so my apologies, but I have been logged out of my Comics Curmudgeon account and no effort to log in again produces results. Even trying to set a new password doesn’t work, as no code is ever sent. I had the same problem accessing your “email Josh” function. It is true that I am Crankshaft or Plugger aged, but I know how to use a computer. Help me, Josh! For God’s sake, help me. Help me learn to love again.
C-Shaft: With this much buildup, the Larry Dinkle picture when it’s shown needs to have something like him wearing a Santa hat while his pants fall down.
DT: The Amusing vs. Annoying ratio of Widescreen’s schtick is not good. Can they just hurry up and geolocate him so Dick can put three behind his ear?
Dustin: Whatever Dustin’s problem is, getting stretched out on the rack probably isn’t the solution.
JP: In a further effort to placate April, Abbey’s top is decorated with makeshift crosses, each commemorating one of April’s kills.
Lockhorns: The captcha test was “How many of these pictures contain a happy marriage?” Most of the human employees couldn’t pass it either.
Luann:Usually Toni’s nausea threshold is a lot higher, because it pretty much has to be.
MW: Wilbur is holding a basket of tomatoes and in yesterday’s strip he didn’t even have a basket. Maybe sorcery is afoot. Hey, it would be something anyway.
Phantom: “Hi, technical support? Yeah, you’re not gonna believe this, but the AI on my supervillain plane is trying to kill a guy I only wanted captured. And I own the whole damn company so you’d think…Oh crap, I’m still talking to a recording. This could take a while.”
RMMD: Rene’s warnings went in one ear and out the other, then in the other twin’s one ear and out the other. Then it started all over again with the same ears. By this point it’s very well-traveled.
Crank: “If that’s your father, why’s it signed ‘Artie Shaw?’’
@Just John: MGG: So, which is the largest of the So-So Lakes?
___________________________________
Lake Frazzhole.
Frank Beard, the non-bearded ZZ Top, has passed on. Did anyone have him on their death pools?
@Baja Gaijin: It’s probably not even that bad, but the presentation is pretty damned challenging. Why arrange the bananas as if a hideous claw is grasping the dish? Why distribute the corn like it’s infecting the chicken? And what the hell does any of it have to do with Maryland?
@Baja Gaijin: Hint: it’s chicken.
________
Marty McFly?
@ectojazzmage: I was going to make a joke based on Obama bumping into “Luann” character Delta while she was searching for a bathroom.
According to Wikipedia, Delta disappeared from the strip in 2014.
@Poteet: https://preview.redd.it/does-this-row-of-states-have-a-name-v0-ztwo6ad9pcja1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3942296d20f7adb5d09e3ffcf1c2c4823f5a223e
@133 Majicou: That photo contains one of the worst examples of food styling since, well, um, I don’t know. The bananas are bad. I’ll bet someone spent an hour carefully placing each corn kernel in its exact space. Having the olive oil bottle overlapping the dish doesn’t help. OK, now I know how to end the first sentence: “…since the food displayed in Mary Worth.”
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinky Kids: Wow! the Cheerios™ Kid has been working out! I think he’s been taking something a bit stronger than Cheerios™!
@GarrisonSkunk: Lake Frazzhole.
I’ll assume that Most Polluted goes to 9CL’s Lake Fornication.
Sex Organ V.D.: The twins decide to follow George Carlin’s advice….we don’t kidNAP, the kids…a nap is a forced sleep period in forced on children,usually involving NyQuil™! Instead we kidNAB the kids…a nab is a harmless action like grabbing the last slice of pizza. Totally different operation.
@Dennis Jimenez:
#136. That column of states is humorously called Central America. More seriously, it’s The Heartland.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s just like Frank Sinatra sang:
Way down among Marylanders
Bananas grow like Colonel Sanders
So they’ve always got a lot of them on hand
They’ve got an awful lot of bananas in Maryland
@The Rambling Otter: Thanks!
@Baja Gaijin: It’s so bad my brain refuses to accept that they’re bananas and insists they’re badly seared pale sausages
@Activist: That column of states is humorously called Central America. More seriously, it’s The Heartland.
It’s either a chef holding a pan in front of him, or less charitably it’s a caricature of me.
@GarrisonSkunk: Wow! the Cheerios™ Kid has been working out!
“Me, Cheerios Kid. You, Sue.”
@142 Peanut Gallery: SNERK!
@144 CanuckDownSouth: Has anyone ever seen a banana/barbecued chicken combination other than the one shown on the recipe card? I haven’t.
RMMD: “It’s getting late. What do you want for dinner?” “Pizza’s good.” “Okay, but can you rephrase that so it involves scamming?”
Pardon My Planet – This guy should undergo a sleep study for night terrors if this is a common occurrence, and a therapist if that is what gives him the biggest thrill despite his claimed success in life.
The Lockhorns – If “The Lockhorns” was a CAPTCHA, the challenge would be to find the joke.
Mother Goose and Grimm – Bad Dad jokes like “Lake Inferior” were the sort of thing that would wake Alex Trebek up in a cold sweat, knowing that if a contestant did that, he would have to humor such low-form “comedy”.
@Baja Gaijin: Also, those are what tomatoes look like on Mary’s home planet.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m fairly open-minded in regard to chicken, but that’s a banana too far.