Sparking concerns
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/22/26
OK, fine, just a day after my haughty pronouncement that I was too good for a storyline about “Horrible” Hank Harwood Senior doing some commissions, Rex Morgan, M.D., proves that it’s “still got it” and sucks me back in with a philosophical conundrum. Yes, it is true that not performing labor is enjoyable. But have you considered that labor can be exchanged for money, which serves as a store of value and can be exchanged in turn for other goods and services, many of which also spark enjoyment? Much to consider! Plus you don’t want Buck getting on your case! Ideally you’d like to spend as little time interacting with Buck as possible!
Crankshaft, 9/22/26
Now, call me a bleeding heart, but I don’t think making sidewalks less accessible represents a good use of the limited money available for streetscape improvements. I can sort of see the logic of doing it in Crankshaft’s neighborhood specifically — he’s dangerous and must be contained but he’s also old — but we’ve seen no indication that he really has much by way of mobility issues and anyway they keep letting him drive against all common sense, so you’re just making things more difficult for the disabled and anyone pushing a stroller or shopping cart for no benefit. Also they are making lovably evil pizza robot Oni Crankshaft’s sidekick or whatever, troubling!
48 replies to “Sparking concerns”
MW – Welcome, Larry. It’s so nice that Nelly Fenelli approaches the guy with the hearing aid and opens with, “Have you heard?”
MW Larry learned long ago to turn down his hearing aids around Nelly, so normally he’d just be able to smile and nod and go about his day. Unfortunately _all_ Charterstone devices are tuned be attentive to the key words indicating The Leader: Mary Worth – he will not only be forced to hear the rumour as it blasts at maximum volume, but having missed the first part he will get it horribly mangled, repeat it as something unforgivable, and end up in the cornfield
RMMD-“Listen, Dad, it’s your income we are living off of so get back to work.”
RMMD: “I’ve been lazy and just sitting around. Frankly, ghost drawing for Six Chix is not something I’m proud of.”
MW: Fantastic. Now we have diverging paths of gossip. It will increase exponentially: four panels tomorrow, then eight, then sixteen, and on and on until they’re too small to make out individually, but together form the image of Nelly and her drag show eyebrows, smirking as she spills the tea.
I just realized that Funky Winkerbean wrapped up with a “far future” sequence that involved a robot retail clerk, so Batuik probably added this pizza robot to Crankshaft not as a way to make AI jokes, but out of an obligation to make robots with minimum-wage jobs canonical to the Funkyverse.
Bizarro: WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WARN ME???? EEEEE!!! [QLUNQ!]
RMMD:
“Wait a minute! — you’re not ‘Dad’! You’re Larry David!”
Be careful, Crankshaft: “sassy robot” is one step farther than “cousin Oliver” in terms of new characters. Your desperation is showing…
I’m guessing that the people of Centerville disabled all the accessibility ramps as part of a strategy to impede this insufferable robot waiter. It’s a real world equivalent of the “check here to prove you’re not a robot” box. Maybe we should duplicate this idea?
RMMD: Is this week going to consist of Beatty blatantly soliciting commissions? “Folks, comic artists work so hard. They deserve your admiration, and most of all, your cash! Don’t you want a custom sketch of Fergus Murphy knocking muddy boots with Mae Mae Clodfelter?”
RMMD:
“Son, this is my depiction of a stylized Comics Curmudgeon commenter — contemptuous; snarling; and holding a book that allows him or her to summon, and then inject, some kind of erudition into their comment so that they can act supercilious about it!”
RMMD Never a good sign when your new storyline starts either the characters saying “You know what’s great? Doing nothing! We should do more of that…!”
CSh I stared for a good minute at that last panel trying to find the malapropism or pun, but I guess the punchline is just that the government sucks at accessibility? Or sensed an impending robot invasion? Maybe it was one of those bipartisan votes I’ve heard talk of.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut.
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woohoo!
Crankshaft:
“You know, the news reports are that the likes of me are going to wipe out all of humanity by 2030. But I’m going to start with you, you oldster!”
Luann: How did Brad end up with that piggy nose? Neither his father nor mother have one. Is this one of those genetic things that skip generations, or did Mrs. Brad-mom hook up with a hog?
Pluggers: Pluggers like cooking outside because they can pee on the tree or in the bushes like their primordial predecessors.
Now for the title change; I’m thinking “Crank and the Shaft”, where Crank and Shaft can be used interchangeably to refer to either man or robot.
MW:
“Psst. Max. Let’s you and I do a little canine cross-dressing — you put on my bowtie, and I’ll put on your bandana!”
MW: the dogs don’t believe word of it. I’m with the dogs, they have more horse sense than the people do
Six Chix: Are we in for 9 more Tuesdays of a pumpkin-wearing Chix being all depressed? I’d rather have pumpkin spice SPAM instead.
Crankshaft: Every animal evolves into crabs, every Funkyverse comic evolves into robots in dystopia.
@Baja Gaijin:
Nah, I checked, and when seen from the front, Nancy DOES also have a pig nose, so it comes from HER side.
…It’s FASCINATING how well the strip communicates that Nancy is supposed to be this beauty that’s wildly out of Frank’s league, while also depicting her as having a pig nose and those gross sausage lips (that I’m assuming is artistic shorthand for “is wearing lipstick” in the Evansii style)…
Crankshaft finally hit a level of stupidity that caused me to tune out, so I appreciate Josh featuring it today so I can see one more reason for hating Centerville – it’s lack of concern for people with disabilities. Yeah, funny stuff Batiuk.
And a head’s up that the Friday Scrotes may be a little late. I’ll be in Seattle to see our Gophers play the Huskies and may be seeing the sights for a while and not be able to post Scrotes until later. On the other hand, I’ll be in the Pacific time zone, so maybe the COTW will be up before I go out and do all the things good tourists do, such as have a fish thrown at you at the Pike Place market. But one way or another, the Scrotes will be as visible as Dino Ciccarelli’s junk at some point on Friday.
RxMD: Meanwhile, an evil socio-politico megaestablishment is plotting to use Gramps’ drawings to take over the town, but a butterfly will cause the scheme to fail, without the inhabitants even knowing.
C’shaft: I realize the current US government is bent on destroying everything that made life even just a little more cleaner, healthier, and equitable for everyone, but last I checked they hadn’t yet got around to gutting the ADA…
RMMD: Hey, you know what’s even more boring than seeing a bunch of people going about their tedious everyday lives? Seeing a bunch of people talking about their boring, everyday lives! Tell, don’t show, that’s the Rex Morgan creed!
@Bob Tice: “Son, this is my depiction of a stylized Comics Curmudgeon commenter — contemptuous; snarling; and holding a book that allows him or her to summon, and then inject, some kind of erudition into their comment so that they can act supercilious about it!”
Hey, that doesn’t look like me at all! (Checks mirror, runs away sobbing). . .
RMMD: I’m reading “you’ve earned the right to be lazy” as a nod to the demographics of the strip’s readers, though not as blatant as every Pluggers.
CS: It’s funny because reactionary and eugenicist forces in control of the local government are taking active steps towards eliminating accommodations for people with mobility issues. Shown offscreen: dozens of e-scooters strewn across those same sidewalks by private credit backed vultures seeking to further undermine mass transit.
MW: The joke’s on Nellie — the old guy has Bluetooth-enabled hearing aids and is blasting “96 Tears” by ? and the Mysterians.
DT: “I mean they both had square glasses and media-themed names, that’s as good as a DNA test in this universe…”
GT: Did Dorothy dye her hair, or has the stress of leaving Milford aged her?
HotC: And you’re not the slightest bit concerned about her flouting the school phone policy?
MT: The reason why “flash floods” are called that is because they happen very quickly, with a sudden influx of water taking the course of least resistance and taking pretty much anything in its path along with it. It’s not something you can climb out of easily, no matter how good you do on arm day.
Pluggers: My grandfather, God rest him, once started a grill fire so impressive it set off the smoke detectors inside the house. Pluggers just aren’t trying hard enough.
Lio-The only people who would get this are mostly dead.
RMMD: Judging from the looks of that sketch, Hank’s been commissioned to draw a poster for Emperor Palpatine doing storytime at the library.
BC-“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”
MW: I must say, Nellie could be a much more efficient yenta. Where’s the Charterstone online group chat? Advanced age is no excuse – I’m an old fart and I can do WhatsApp.
Let’s hope “Crankshaft” is trying to do a reverse-“Monty” thing and eventually focus all of its attention on the robot.
Crankshaft: Centerville is in Ohio. Wouldn’t that explain a lot of retrograde government expenditure ruining normal American things, labeled as “improvement”?
GT: Good job, teach. You know, you don’t have to tell the entire class that the new kid is from your arch enemy. Dorothy isn’t a double agent who’s doing this to steal your coach’s playbook. Sometimes reality just intervenes with High School Sports, the Most Important Thing In The World.
Hagar: Don’t be angry that some people have rights, Hagar. You can always fall back on your military’s impressment policy for the self-righteous feeling you crave, while keeping Lucky Eddie from getting any ideas about bettering his lot in life.
Zits: Wait, Jeremy’s VW station wagon actually runs and is roadworthy? I thought it was in the constant state of being worked on.
Dustin is trying to make Hayden into a future him. Time for a restraining order. The schoolkid has a lot of potential which will only go to waste keeping his current company.
DtM: “What grade, Dennis? Not high enough to live in a neighborhood where the HOA forbids throwing an old couch on the front porch.”
CS: The nanny state has eliminated only those ramps which might lead one to roll accidentally to Crank’s house. The disabled have suffered enough.
@Lauralot: I suspect its the opposite. This is Beatty suggesting that he’s “earned the right to be lazy” instead of having to slave away (aka “spend up to a whole two hours”) at this comics. It would probably be a more compelling argument if “earned the right to be lazy” wasn’t apparently the town motto of Glenwood.
Crankshaft: Is the “joke” here Batiuk’s commentary on contemporary politics? The gummint stole the accessibility ramps last year, so was it a DOGE thing? Or does Crankshaft’s reality simply reflect his hatred of all things back at him? Is Ed’s negativity unmaking reality?
It’s probably the DOGE thing, right? It’s timely, but not so timely that it couldn’t accidentally wander into a contemporary comic strip.
Hank Sr. is a retired cartoonist so he must be LOADED. Can’t he just buy a small island to get away from Buck and watch A Minecraft Movie in peace? (I kid, this is Rex Morgan, M.D. where Boomers are most likely watching old Mexican luchador films.)
FC: Tomorrow we have a “drawn by Billy” strip as Big Bil is treated for conjunctivitis.
DtM: Nice ploy by Dennis who obviously hates to school to use “I love school” as a rhetorical device to get Wilson to admit how ignorant he is in public.
Menace level: Transcendent
@Bob Tice: It’s like looking in a mirror, a . . . one moment, let me check this book . . . a mirror crack’d from side to side.
“You’ve earned the right to be as lazy as you’d like. In fact, you could cancel one of your comic strips, introduce a stupid gimmick into the other, and stop making jokes at all! You could use your comic strip to just attack your local city council and their idiotic idea of removing wheelchair cuts! You could achieve new heights of laziness!”
I don’t know whether Tom Batiuk added a robot character to Crankshaft in order to curry favor with our future A.I. overlords, but it’s worth noting that there are bunch of human characters in that strip and that didn’t do him any favors with us.
RMMD – Hank doesn’t mind being commissioned to draw a witch reading a book, but he wishes the patron hadn’t specified that the book has to be I’m OK — You’re OK.
Shaft – This is why I keep my Old Glory robot insurance policy up to date.
Don Abundio, translated:
“This painting would go well with my couch! Can I buy it?”
“Of course, Don Abundio! But not by itself”
“It only makes sense as part of the complete set!”