I mean, I judge a certain amount, I guess
Post Content
The Phantom, 10/31/26
Hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up on The Phantom, but the short version of what you missed is that transparent Elon Musk standin Ian Mollusk’s AI system has gone rogue, melting the Python’s brain and leaving him feeble and docile rather than the anti-Phantom killer Mollusk envisioned, and also escaping into Mollusk’s refrigerator somehow. Today’s strip honestly tickles me because, yeah, the Nomad’s been in Gitmo for years and, yeah, a lot’s happened in that time! They don’t let you read the newspaper in there! He’s still catching up!
Mary Worth, 10/31/26
Really love how Tommy realized at the last possible moment that he has to say that he never believed Mary and Ian were actually having an affair. Obviously Mary knows better, but he just got under the wire for plausible deniability so Mary isn’t honor bound to eviscerate him right here at his place of employment, yet.
Hagar the Horrible, 10/31/26
Oh, also, it’s Halloween! Got any big plans? Hagar and Helga decided to host an Eyes Wide Shut style masked orgy at their house, which wouldn’t have been my choice but, you know what, I don’t judge.
21 replies to “I mean, I judge a certain amount, I guess”
MW:
There once was a crone named Feneley
Whose last name morphed into “Fenele”
The spelling has changed! —
It’s made us deranged
And has us all shouting, “Whoa Nelly!”
Mary realizes, with horror, that her reputation has been ruined by a character from Shirley Ellis’s 1964 hit “The Name Game.”
MW:
Like Jeffy in yesterday’s Family Circus, Tommy has confused Halloween with April Fools Day, so in today’s first panel, he is attempting to fool Mary into believing that he is trying to think.
I guess the old Norse version of LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS is “Keep your knees pointing straight forward for Baldur.”
MW: Did Nelly’s last name change to Fenele to indicate that Tommy is an idiot, or is Moy the moron?
RMMD: It’s not every day you see the worst thing you’ll ever see.
The Phantom:
If there were an antimatter “Love Boat,” the officer in today’s second panel would be Anti-Captain Stubing.
Hagar the Horrible:
“Let’s whisper about those two lovebirds in Norse code!”
MW: Sometimes trauma manifests itself in its victims with hysterical laughter as Tommy relives the repressed memory of imagining Mary and Ian making love.
It must be tough to come up with costume ideas when you have to incorporate Viking horn helmets into all your choices.
Phantom-“The Rocket Man!” Elton John?
FC-Yeah. The people over at Condo Place don’t know the Keanes. There will be no turning off the lights and pretending you’re not home.
HAGAR: No need to initiate a party game; the guests are already Bobbing for Tonsils.
MW: If we knew that this was going to end with Nelly getting kneecapped, this would be worth the tedium. But it’s just going to be all muffins and reproval.
Phantom: Do you think the guard is going a bit off-script, or did Ian Mollusk explicitly demand to be called a “dangerously unpredictable AI guy”? Is he listening like “Hmm, yes, now make sure to tell him I’m on an industrial quantity of ketamine and in love with an anime girl chatbot. That’ll strike fear into Nomad’s heart!”
HTH: I like their angel/devil couple’s cosplay. Obviously for Vikings, sacking Christian monasteries is nothing new, but Hagar and Helga have a plan to really desecrate them this time.
Ph: “Car Guy”? Is that like a “Wife Guy”, or is it jail yard slang for non-prisoners?
MW: Mary tried to hide her shock but it looks like it came right out her nose. What do you think that sounded like? A slide whistle? Maybe an old-timey bicycle horn.
THE PHANTOM: Hahahaha, God damn! This strip is approaching political-cartoon levels of subtlety here!
THE PHANTOM (2): If you didn’t see Musk before it was unceremoniously pulled from theaters, well…here’s the TL:DR summary.
BB: Drunk soldiers and one Miss Buxley, that’s quite a party.
MARY WORTH: Geez, Charterstone residents! If you’re going to maliciously spread vicious, unsubstantiated rumors you don’t even believe anyway, you might as well try out for Fox News where you can get paid for it!
Mary Worth Mashup: What if Mary confronted Nelly? Take a look…is it a Halloween Horror?
LUANN: “Advice? Yeah, Tons*”
*citation needed
LUANN (2): “Ignore it….just like the audience is supposed to ignore that Brad and Toni are the ones who’ve been acting like judgemental assholes about parents these last couple of days, not the other way around.”
LUANN (3): “Thank you for your unasked-for, unsolicited advice, Off-Brand Marcie. I hope someone tosses some bars of individually-wrapped Irony in your bag as you make your rounds.”
MW: I know we’re meant to read this past week as all of Mary’s friends desperately covering their asses, but it would be hilarious if they were truly admitting to knowingly spreading lies about her for fun.
Phantom:
“Sir, the Python has been transported against his will to a binary star system that is a distant 8.6 light years from here!”
“You can’t be Sirius!”
The Phantom:
“See this skunklike stripe in my hair? — I stole it off Dr. Jeff from Mary Worth!”