Saturday one-liners
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Hagar the Horrible, 4/7/12
Hagar has spent so many years engaged in brutal warfare that he no longer understands how to behave in conventional social situations, and crowds trigger attacks of PTSD.
Shoe, 4/7/12
The Perfesser is either too lazy to open gifts or too jaded to feel the brief anticipatory joy one usually experiences while doing so, and now just demands to be told what they are before he bothers to remove the wrapping paper.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/7/12
The chickens of Hootin’ Holler, like their human counterparts, suffer from significant genetic abnormalities.